Letters

Letters

Continuing from my previous post, so I sent a package to Favela as a way of saying thank you. It's some Indonesian coffee, tea and chocolates! Perfect accompaniment to the cold winter month I guess? And also I wrote him a letter. Which... After writing it, I realised that it's been such a long time since I wrote one. I'm not sure if the cards I wrote for my friends can be considered letters haha.

So yes ask yourself this question: when was the last time you wrote a letter? 

The keyword here is wrote. Not type. I realised as we grow older, and we move into the digital world, pen and paper become quietly distant from us. We used to write birthday cards and now we post our wish on our friends' Facebook page, or send them via WhatsApp. And I don't think it's wrong, because I do it too. Mainly because of distance for me. We no longer send letters but email or even FB messages/WhatsApp messages. Once again, it's not wrong. Because it's easier and more convenient.

But I think pen and paper will never lost its charm. I'm pretty sure all of us feel different when we read a message on screen, and a message on paper/cards. It feels different and it feels like there's a deeper connection created between us and the sender. Although I wouldn't say that such feelings completely don't exist on digital messages. There are times where I feel touched from them too!

I hope we can make writing letters cool again. I think we should all go back to writing cards and giving them out to people. Keyboards are cool. But pen and papers were there before they're cool!

Finding Gold

"We find gold in the place you don't look for"

- Blinker by Favela

Okay so something really heartwarming and exciting happened last week! So about 3 weeks ago one of my favourite musicians, Favela, sent me a DM on Instagram asking me for my T-shirt size and address. Which I gratefully gave with delight. I thought he was just going to send a T-shirt and... Last week a package arrived! It was from him and on the package, below the custom declaration, there was also "vinyl record" written and I was shooketh! So excited I opened it up right away.

And... Inside there was not only a T-shirt but also his Future Visions EP vinyl T_T oh my goodness, I've been wanting to get a copy of it but it is unavailable anywhere now. And it's only available in his gigs. I didn't get it when it was released because back then, I don't have a vinyl player yet haha.

I'm so lost for words upon opening the package. I'm so happy to receive it! Thank you so so much, Favela. Christmas came early for me this year. I did send him a Christmas package too. 

I hope it arrives safely in the UK :D

Okay I think I wrote a special dedication post for Favela already earlier this year but... Since we're on the theme of the last year of this decade, I think Favela is indeed one of my "Artists of the decade"! Well for me I never really like discover an artist since their beginning. I always discover artists a few years later after they release music. But this is not the case for Favela and a few of my favourite musicians too! Okay well I think I discovered Favela 1-2 years after his first release. But at least I've been following him before he released his Future Visions EP :D A blissful discover from Soundcloud!

Alright that's all for me now. Gonna write a few more posts in the coming days. Once again thank you very much Favela for sending me the Future Visions EP and the T-shirt. I hope my package arrives safely too :) Wishing you, your family and the team a Merry Christmas! :D

Cold Weather

We've entered the rainy season but damn this week the rain has been pretty intense! It was raining hard since Saturday and well, after a long drought, hard torrential rain seems pretty weird to experience heh. But nevertheless I've been enjoying the (albeit too) cold weather, after a month or so of humid nights. Now I can actually close my windows at night. Usually I leave it open till before I sleep!

But the rain also brings its effect on my flowers who are blooming slower now. Well we have sort of predicted this because the dry and hot weather in the past two months have made my flowers bloom way too quickly. Like the flowers for December are now 80% harvested (because they already bloomed, we have no choice). And the ones in January are beginning to bloom too. What in the world!

The long drought was totally unexpected to stretch until November. I thought it would have started to rain in October/November but nope. Well this is the bad side of agriculture I guess. We can't predict the weather and we can only work our way around whatever that is happening to us. Same thing is happening to the farmers... I have a customer whose crop failed because of the drought too. Sad really.

Anyway, the cold weather is pretty welcomed. I have cosy nights now to tuck myself to bed. And as usual it's the perfect weather to reminisce and reflect about the year. Which... I need to start doing! Haha. I still have 5 more posts to go. I'm not sure what I'm gonna do man :P

It's a weird year, I don't have much to reminisce and talk about. 

Decade III

Right to end off the Decade post, let me write a reflection of these past ten years!

Well as mentioned above, this has been a weird and interesting decade for me. The first half of it was really fun, exciting and happening. And the other half went a bit dark and flat. I don't really know how to put it into words but yeah. It's really like light and dark kind of decade heh.

I think I spent this decade really both going "all out" and "all in". I tried many things, I exposed myself to a lot of new things, some of which I didn't imagine myself doing. I experienced many things, I went through many thoughts and I touched many feelings and emotions. And all of these have truly shaped me to become who I am today. Whether I like them or not, whether I choose them or not.

In the process I discovered who I am. I get to know myself better. I become vulnerable to my own thoughts and emotions. I learned how to trust the unknown. I went through some dark times. I got sucked into its vortex, and now I'm still struggling to get out of it at times. I become friends with my own darkness. And now I'm learning to dance with my own shadows (thanks Hindia).

I learned to choose to become a realist instead of an optimist. I am still learning to see the emptiness in everything. I have learned and accepted that everything is impermanent. I learned that to be happy we need to let go. I learned not to be friends with my ego. I learned that the true nature of myself is ever changing and unfixed. I become closer with Buddhism, and I am glad I did.

I still feel lost at times. I still crave for certainty in this uncertain world. I still get worried about the future. As much as I'm learning to stay in the present. I learn to trust the universe. I still believe that I am being brought somewhere that I'm meant to be. I still believe that there's still much more to life. Even though I spent a great number of days thinking how dull and dark the future is.

I am still learning what it means to be a human. A weird creature walking on earth. Vulnerable, weak and strong. Trapped in the abyss of time. Not knowing what's coming. Not being able to change what has passed. A product of all the actions that he has done. The emotions he has felt. And more.

I don't really know what's ahead of me. How the next decade will be. But I've learned not to be too hopeful. And take it each day by day. Year by year. Eventually decade by decade. Although to be honest... I'm quite excited for what's ahead. Everything can happen. Just like all the things that have happened in this past decade. Which I didn't expect of doing, and going through.

Here's to a wonderful new decade for all of us. Keep going everyone. 

Decade II

Right, lets begin with me writing out what happened in the past decade... Time for a feel-trip!

2010

Entered SP, via the DPA programme. Started earlier than my poly mates because of the early admission programme where we took our GEMs classes ahead. Met some wonderful people and one of my best friends in poly (Hi Candy!). Entering poly was really something I look forward to. A totally new environment and way of studying. I was so eager to start and pretty excited!

2011

Entered year 2 and decided to join the research option. We were the pioneer batch. School wise it was more challenging but the case-based learning method was also awesome. I enjoyed it a lot. Became more active and decided to join many activities. Signed up for OCIP trip to Inner Mongolia (the best school trip I went to). Climbed Mt Kinabalu. Went for my first 10K race. Performed in Esplenade. Up till now, I still think 2011 is the best year of my life. I experienced many things and I'm glad I did!

2012

Last academic year of poly. Little did I know it will (probably) be my last year of school life. Spent 7 months on an internship and also while doing my FYP. It was pretty challenging, also because I was alone in Singapore since my sister has returned back home. Thankful for the company of my friends during this time! Performed for the last time with SPSB at Esplenade, still hoping it won't be my last. I went to the US with my sis for the first time. Also I decided to return back home the next year.

2013

Spent the first half of the year telling myself to accept the fact that I'm going back home heh. Graduated from SP. It was a weird year for me. A year I wish wouldn't arrive, because my heart felt so heavy to leave Singapore. My friends, and the life I've been living for the past 11 years. But life is life and it has to go on. Also I made this decision myself. It was a tough year because I have to adjust myself to the new life back at home. But also thankful for all the years in Singapore. Went to Thailand with JAMBS for the first time! Then returned back in December with Ade and Jes. Weird weird year indeed.

PS: A bit of heads-up, I won't be talking about my work life here

2014
Getting used to being back home. Settling into the new rhythm of life. Became an uncle with the birth of my nephew. Realised my dream of going to Iceland (finally) in August and it's my first solo trip going somewhere I've never been before. I love this trip so much. I hope I can return!

2015
Getting more used to work. Decided to visit my friends in Australia in July during the holiday. Finally visited another continent haha. It was a great trip with them!

2016
Realised my dream of going to Tibet in April. And it is the best trip I've ever went to in my life. And I long to return one day. Met some wonderful people during the trip too! Okay travel aside, 2016 was a rather turbulent year. But I'd love to quote the saying "when things are falling apart, they are may actually be falling into place". And 2016 felt like that year. It was tough and I don't want to go through it again. At the same time... My mental health went down from here heh. 2016 was fucking insane really.

2017
The year began with a miracle. Something out of the blue happened without our expectation. This is by far the biggest teaching of impermanence to me. And thus I decided to get anicca tattoed on my wrist. Went to Cambodia, this would be my last trip in a long while (I hope it won't be so long hah). I feel like I've come at peace with the though of trusting the universe. I want to move forward with it, while trusting that it will take me somewhere. A place I have to be in.

2018
This was another weird year. I thought I have "moved on" from the turbulence of 2016 in 2017 but in this year... It was weird. My shadows were accompanying me again. But at the same time I think more about life. I think more about myself. And inevitably, I think more of the future.

2019
Haven't wrapped my head on this year but... It was another weird year heh. But I learned a lot I guess. And I think a lot. I think you'll have to wait for my end of year reflection soon.

Yup. This has been my decade. It's a fun one I would say, the first half of it haha. I will write my general thoughts about this in another separate post. Whew. Ten years passed just like that.

Decade I

With 2019 coming to an end really soon... I realise that this will be the end of a decade! I'm seeing many people writing posts like "last full moon of the decade" and "last xxx of the decade" and so on. Whew, can't believe we're entering a new decade next year. Hmm I wonder what I thought back ten years ago, and if there's anything I have in mind about the next ten years, ten years ago haha.

Which gave me an idea if I should write about a decade in review kind of post. Well looking back it is quite an interesting decade, personally for me. I think it's a journey of self-discovery, self-doubt, anxiety, and so on hah. I entered poly ten years ago and it was probably the best three years of my life thus far. Oh wow I'm getting emotional thinking and writing about this heh.

I'm probably going to do two parts of this (three including this). Watch this space!

Kindergarten

TK Budi Luhur

So last week my cousin got married. He got married at the temple which is beside the kindergarten that I went to. And it has changed! Haha. Well I just find it quite... Funny how I used to go to kindergarten there many years ago. And now we're all adults attending my cousin's wedding.

The place went through a series of renovation so it is very different than what it used to be. There used to be a playground where we got to play but now it's been changed to a parking lot. And the temple used to be quite small and dark but now it's been renovated pretty nicely. 

Time will always be a mystery. It's quite interesting to come back to a place where you were once a person who doesn't care and think of the future. We were all like that back then huh.