7 seconds

I chanced upon this song from the 90s yesterday. It is a beautiful song. At first I love this song because of the nice melody and chords. Until I realised that there's an English lyric in the middle, and French too. And then I chanced upon the lyric of the song that sent shivers down my spine. The lyric stayed with me throughout the day. It's that powerful heh.

The first lyric that sent shivers down my spine is this:
"When a child is born into this world, it has no concept of the tone of skin its living in"

The second lyric that also sent shivers down my spine and got stuck in my mind is:
"There's a million of voices, to tell you how she should be thinking"

The second lyric, especially, is something that got me thinking throughout the day. I kept on thinking on how true the second line is. To all of us, here in this world.

Although I think the song is referring to violence and racial prejudice that we're facing in this world (from the line "concept of the tone of skin" I suppose), I think the second lyric really shows another problem we are all facing, that is judgements that we get from society. Be it because of our race, sexual orientation, economics, education etc.

So after researching what does the writer of this song mean by "7 seconds", I came across an article regarding the song, and it is stated that the 7 seconds refer to the first moments of a child's life, as the female singer of the song, Cherry Neneh, puts it "not knowing about the problems and violence in our world". Oh you yes you can read the article here.

And I think it is very true. You know they say that we all cry as we are born into this world because we already know how tough life is going to be, and how much problems this world has. And in fact if we don't cry, it signifies that there might be something wrong with us, i.e: our throat is blocked with mucus, water etc. So yes, all of us cry as we're born into this world.

Today I thought to myself, that how much pure all of us were as we're brought into this world by our mothers. How much of a "human" we all are as we enter this life. And then as we move along life, as we grow up, there is indeed a million voices that (kinda) tell our parents how we should be thinking. Not only thinking but behaving, doing, achieving etc.

When we're born, we're really really the pure essence of a human. A living being, with an empty mind that is not shaped and defined by anything. The only thing that would be defined to us is the thing that enter our body like the food, medicine, supplements etc. As we grow into infants, and then young children, our mind begins to be shaped. By the teachings and guidance of our parents, to become young man, and well to survive in this world.

As we grow into young adults, thank to the things we learned in school, at home and in this world basically, we begin to form our own minds, and we learn how to shape our own mind. For example, things we thought were true and correct when we were young, may seem wrong now, and vice versa. And all of these is helped by the heart I suppose.

Sadly, sometimes I feel that we're a product of what society thinks we should do, what our parents expect of us, what the world think we should be come. Rarely, we become who we think we should all be. Yes, I am one of them too.

As we all grow up, well there is indeed a million voices, telling not only our parents but ourselves too, about the way we should be thinking. We're often hearing voices of other people, of society, and of the world to how we should all behave. When we do something out of the norm, we feel really different and weird, that we decided to follow the bandwagon and just be "normal". When we want to become someone, we decided not to because this "someone" is not a famous person in this society. So well think again, who are we really trying to become?

I feel that we live in a world that makes being who we truly are, as an act of crime. Not because it is truly a crime, but because of these million voices that feed the ears and minds of the world, that sets a "standard" to how and what someone should truly be. And it is very very saddening whenever I think of it. It feels like we can never be who we truly are, because of these voices.

Where is the essence of being human that we once carried into this world as we are born into it? That essence, the innocence that could have allowed us to be the brightest and greatest human? If not for all of these voices we hear, we can truly be what we can be.

Let me as you a question, when was the last time you did something, you decided on something, with all your heart only? When was the last time you did something out of your own will? When was the last time you decided to do something straight away, without ever counseling your parents, teachers, co-workers and friends? When was the last time you did something without giving a care of what society and the world will think of you?

I've always thought how wonderful life will be, if becoming who we want to be is as easy as breathing the morning air. Everyone around us, becoming who they want to be, doing what they love. But of course, life would not be all wonderful too. Where's that challenge, that resilience that would arise from us as we fight to become who we want to be. The fight for freedom, the freedom from these million voices that tell us who we should be!

In the recent light of white vs pink battle in Singapore for example. I truly and fully support Pink Dot. Because I support the freedom to love anyone and everyone regardless of their sexuality, race and religion. I don't understand how Pink Dot is endangering family values in Singapore. It's not like as if Pink Dot is an event that encourages everyone to be homosexuals. It is not an event where straight people who go there will turn gay or something.

Why would you force your beliefs and views on other people's lives? I don't get it. If it's a sin to your religion to be homosexuals, then so be it. But that doesn't mean other people who are not of your religion can't be homosexuals. How would you feel if I ask you to be homosexual even though you're as straight as two parallel lines. You won't like it right? That's how homosexuals think when they are told that they cannot be gay.

And if you think being homosexual is not the right way because males and females should be together to ensure a continuity in the species, do remember that there are billions of people who are straight and that homosexuality has existed for a long long time in the animal kingdom. People don't choose to be gay. It's something they carry into this world. Unless you know you're gay but you hide it for so long and then come out as "I choose to be gay".

This world has too much voices that tell how the world how and who it should become. It's just so damn sad really. Although of course, it is too late now because somehow, somewhat, our minds have already been shaped by some voices through our lives. But it is never too late to begin shaping our minds, for the rest of our lives.

I take it that our minds are like a piece of clay. When we're young this piece of clay is shaped like an oval. And then it is shaped into various different forms as we are growing up. When we become adults, we learn how to shape it on our own. And life, is how we let the world and ourselves shape this beautiful piece of clay into the most exquisite and beautiful shape someone, only you, can create for yourself. And the key is to balance everything.

Anyway, June is finally over. It's been a rough month that I'm so glad is over. Somehow for the past three years, my June has been a rough month. I hope I can break this chain, well only I can break it anyway. Goodbye June! You've been a great teacher. Now the bright days of July are waiting for me. Alright that's all for now. I hope you enjoy reading this post. Hello July! :)

Selamat beribadah puasa!

 When I tell you you're alright,

there's nothing wrong with your eyes

- Sin Fang-

Today is officially the first day of Ramadhan! So here's me wishing all Muslims a smooth-sailing month of fasting ahead :) Time flies by pretty fast, like well it's been almost a year since I last heard the call for Sahur at three in the morning. And then the sound of alarm used by the mosque here to call for buka. I miss these sounds. I'm not a Muslim but Ramadhan has got to be one of my favourite times of the year. I just love the atmosphere really.

And also today... I am officially back in business! Mwahaha. Well the flowers have began to bloom, like all of them. So I'm glad that they did. Because two weeks ago I told my customers that it'll take about 2 weeks for them to bloom. And last week when I saw the flowers again, I thought one week wouldn't be enough for them to fully bloom. I was feeling skeptical and nervous but hey, they indeed bloom so yay! Thank you for blooming in time.

I was on the verge to buy speakers and play classical music for the flowers heh.

It's the second last day of June, and also the 180th day of the year. Time flies indeed! Feels like the year has just barely started and here we are now eh.

Okay I'm just going to make it a quick post. Before I end let me share the great music of June!

Great music of June:
- Stay Gold by First Aid Kit
- Master Pretender by First Aid Kit
- Shattered and Hollow by First Aid Kit
- Your Song (Ellie Goulding version)
- Balance by Future Islands
- Nouse Lauluni by Rajaton
- What's Wrong With Your Eyes by Sin Fang

First Aid Kit just released their latest album in June, and I love it! Although their new album sounds kind of "sadder" than their previous one (The Lion's Roar). First Aid Kit is a folk/country female duo from Sweden. I discovered them from Jango, by their song "Emmylou". I fell in love with their voices and yup, I fell in love with them since a year ago. My favourite song from their new album is Stay Gold. I think the song kinda speaks about how I'm feeling these days.

I discovered Ellie Goulding's version of Your Song via Jango too! I've always know Elton John's version and her version is really lovely too. I love her voice! And I think her voice really matches the song, it's gonna be an awesome pre-wedding song or something. So sweet and lovely. Well Ellie Goulding is another of those artists I discovered late. I know her song "Lights" but yeah, didn't get to explore the rest of her songs. My bad habit heh.

Balance by Future Islands is a song I discovered from a Nokia Lumia advertisement haha. I've only known one of Future Islands song which is Seasons, love that song and I knew it was Future Islands who sang that song used in the advertisement. After a few lyric search I finally found the title and it is indeed Future Islands! How awesome :D

Nouse Lauluni is an acapella song by an acapella group called Rajaton from Finland! I chanced upon their song in a video from Youtube and wow I couldn't believe that the song is sang purely by human voices! So damn cool really. It's rather a challenging song to sing together too. They're really talented, I wish I can see them live heh.

Last but not least, What's Wrong With Your Eyes is a great song by Sin Fang. I know Sin Fang, but I didn't really listen to his songs. Now I discovered how awesome his songs are! Sadly I haven't gotten the luck to get his CDs in Singapore, let alone Jakarta. I love how happy and mellow this song is. And the rest of his album is as superb too :)

Alright that's all for the great music of June. May July bring more great music! :D Here's to an awesome beginning of July, and of course a great week ahead :)

Suffering

I came across the Buddhist saying of "Life is a suffering" when I was young. I think it was in primary school when I read the book "Siddharta", which now I feel really amazed that I actually chose that book to read at such a young age, which I definitely didn't understand! Hahaha. I remember my P4 form teacher telling me that the book was "too heavy" for me and that I should read other children books. But I ignored her and reading it "blindly" anyway.

So the phrase is etched in my mind ever since I'm small. That life is a suffering. When I was young I took that phrase in a negative way. So for example when I went through some difficult and annoying times I would tell myself "Oh well life is a suffering". When I was in secondary school, I took it in a more negative way by blaming life when things turn shitty, so I would really just blame life and myself by telling myself how much of a suffering life is.

When I was in polytechnic, I find out the three principles of existence of Buddhism and my definition of life being a suffering changed. I feel that life is a suffering because of our ego, because one of the principles is egolessness (Anattaa) which I like to call "there's no I in me". Because of our ego, our lives are made more difficult and yeah, life is a suffering.

I also feel that attachment is a cause to our sufferings. That we should not attach ourselves to anything because nothing is permanent here. If we overly attach ourselves to things, it becomes the root of our unhappiness. So the main thing is not to overly attach ourselves to things I suppose. Not that we shouldn't attach ourselves to anything haha.

But then I was reading The Tibetan Book of The Living and Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche and my idea of life is a suffering is changed. So there's a term in Buddhism called Samsara, which means the cycle of death and rebirth. And from the book, I learned that one doesn't have to live and die, in a lifetime, to experience life and death. In fact, we can face death everyday. The fact that nothing is permanent can depict death too. So yeah we don't have to wait till we die to experience death. Death is in fact everywhere around us.

The goal of a Buddhist is to attain nirvana, and that is the freedom from Samsara. To break this cycle and be free, no longer being rebirth into another life, no longer dying. And like I said, well we don't have to live and die to experience death, so everything that happen in life can be depicted in the Samsara I suppose. How we can break this cycle in our daily lives.

Let me give an example. Lets take a classic and common example of anger. When we're angry about something, we feel really pissed, annoyed and our heart is literally a mess. And we actually have the choice, to let go of our anger, and to keep on holding on to it. So this can be a cycle. Being angry > holding on to our anger > be more angry > life becomes horrible.

Or, we can also break away from it. Being angry > letting go of our anger > life is awesome mwahaha. It's often difficult to let go of our anger, but it's not impossible.

Okay lets say someone made you pissed. You can always hold on to your anger, no one says you can't. But does that change everything? No. You can also let go of your anger. Sure it doesn't allow you to turn back time, for that someone to undo his/her doing to make you angry. But at least you have prevented something from damaging your body and mind. The Buddha says that holding on to anger is like throwing a hot coal to someone. Before you throw it, you already hurt your hands.

So yes the main goal is to break away from this cycle that makes your suffer. To break away from this Samsara we all create in our minds.

I really enjoy reading the book. I've learned a lot about life in so many ways. And well the book really made me understand life more. I am so glad that I found this book at this age, because the things that I learned in the book is really a precious gem that I will carry on throughout my life. Highly recommended to everyone if you're interested to read the book!

Anyway can't believe that we're two days away from the start of the fasting month of Ramadhan. It's like so fast! Feels like the previous Ramadhan was yesterday. Oh well, time is indeed flying. Wishing all Muslims a smooth-sailing Ramadhan ahead :) Okay gonna stop writing here. Talk to you soon.

Those days

 

 I wish I can unwind

Ever since I left Singapore, it feels like I have literally left behind a life that I've been living for the past 11 years. It is pretty obvious, by the things that I no longer do now, but I often did when I was still in Singapore. Obviously the fact that I am now living in an entirely new country, a lot of things are very different. But well simple things like... Watching TV, is no longer something that I do often here. In fact I rarely watch TV here. Not once a week even.

So yesterday, I had the privilege and the time to watch TV, non-stop for one and a half hours. Well I just had dinner and then I went to my sister's room (cause she was out) and switched on the TV. I was just switching channels to see if there are any interesting movies. So I was watching "You, Me and Dupree" and a new movie I came across with "Evidence" which has an awesome plot but a hanging ending which I don't really enjoy heh.

And then I landed myself in Channel News Asia... And a rush of memories just hit me. It truly reminds me back to my days back in Singapore. CNA was a favourite channel of mine because it's a channel that keeps me updated with the local and global news. During ITP, I would just switch on CNA first when I got home and watch the programmes there and also I would stare at the crawling news below just to get the latest information and happenings.

And I also enjoy CNA's documentary and non-news related shows which are always interesting. Not to forget, the awesome music which the played after 2:50 AM and above when they go off-air to accompany me to sleep. And till now I am still very very curious to know what songs they play for the off-air programmes. I'm just so intrigued argghh.

Watching TV was definitely my favourite activity when I was still in Singapore (guilty). I enjoy cable TV in the comfort of my room without having to battle it out with my room mates and guardian or something haha. From movies, to news, music and knowledge (in terms of documentaries), TV was a source of entertainment for me. You can say that I spent 60% on TV for entertainment and 38% on internet and 2% on others. I know it's a bad percentage.

But here... Everything is different. Although yes I do have a TV in my room too, but I shared the decorder with my sister and it's located in her room. And also my TV is always wonky at times as it would switch off on its own. Last but not least, I just simply don't have the time. Before I go to sleep, my laptop is my source of entertainment. From Youtube to Facebook and blogging and this and that. Then I would just switch off my laptop and go to sleep.

So as I was watching TV yesterday, I realised how long it has been since I actually have the time and privilege to sit down and enjoy watching TV. It's been so long, that I feel I have forgotten how wonderful it is to do it. Life is just so busy and really "happening" that things like watching TV are no longer part of my day, unlike those days in Singapore.

I wish I can change my lifestyle here. Maybe I should stop using my laptop and start watching TV instead. Or maybe I should go back to books.

Well I'm just really missing everything about my life in Singapore. Where life seems so much simpler, although ironically back then I really feel it was a huge battle. I get to enjoy life and I get to try and balance it off. Here, it feels kinda difficult to balance things out. Well when I get to live in my own house one day, I'll make all the changes I want to. I'm a pretty weird person I must say, with a uniquely different mindset like everyone else around me now.

I miss Singapore and everything there. It's just one of those days I suppose.

Mainstream

Right, if I was talking about band music last night, tonight I wanna talk about something which has been kind of bugging my mind for quite some time. Like for a few years heh. It's about mainstream vs non-mainstream music, as people would say it. First of all please do understand that these are just my thoughts so don't go overly defensive about it okay! :)



So last night Coldplay just released their official music video for A Sky Full of Stars (lets shorten it to ASFOS) which was filmed in Sydney. I'm so so jealous of all of these people in the video! I think they're very lucky and I wish I can be part of the video too. And well I was expecting the video to be filmed in like New Zealand below the starry night sky with lots of stars and milky-ways. But nevertheless this video is superb too with so much positive energy and happiness! So kudos to Coldplay and Mat Whitecross for the awesome MV.

And then I was scrolling down the comment section when I read comments like:

"This is not the Coldplay I know of"
"Coldplay has gone mainstream, this is bad music"
"Coldplay with EDM? Horrible!"
"I'm not going to listen to Coldplay anymore"

The last comment really made me raise my eyebrows like whaaaat. I mean seriously though, what's with all these comments on their video. If you don't like it, why are you there in the first place right? So yeah tonight I'm gonna discuss about all these mainstream vs non-mainstream issue we all know of in the music industry. And my thoughts regarding this.

First of all lets clarify the idea of mainstream. What do we mean by mainstream music? Is it a piece of music that is played at least 10 times everyday on the radio? Or maybe a song that 8 in 10 people have in their phones/MP3 players? And what do we mean by non-mainstream music? The opposite of what's mentioned above or something?

Okay although yes, I myself is guilty too because last time I told my friends that I don't like listening to "mainstream" music and that I listen to mostly non-mainstream ones. Well it's true because I am very sure I can count the number of friends who have the similar songs on my iPod with the number of fingers on my left hand. If you know what I mean.

And what do you mean by "_____ has gone mainstream"? You mean... That bands are not allowed to be famous? That they should just remain like what they begin with, like no listeners, no fans and this and that forever? Oh sure, please tell me if there's any band who tell their fans (and the public) "please don't tell people about us! Just keep it to yourself, we don't want to get known. We are just writing songs just for YOU!". If you can, I'll give you a cookie.

Thirdly, since when do our favourite bands write and compose songs especially for us only? Like oh they write music that you don't like, or they're heading towards a new direction and you hate them because they write something that you do not like? Wow I didn't know you pay them for their hardwork, their food, their creativity and their freedom.

Lastly, if you do not want to listen to them, then... Just don't listen to them.

Now lets clear things up a bit. I always have a question to all these people: do the number of people listening to a song decreases the quality of the song? I am pretty sure the answer is a straight no. So I don't get why people get annoyed when a song becomes mainstream, or more like when a non-mainstream song becomes mainstream. I listen to Sigur Ros, and when I heard Hoppipolla being used in an advertisement here, I feel so proud of them! I don't feel like "OMG they used Hoppipolla, they're going mainstream! Crap!"

Secondly, I think the whole "mainstream" issue is pretty ambiguous too. Like what do you mean by they sound mainstream? If they sound mainstream, but people like them, then I see no problem at all. Because at the end of the day we are the one that interpret the beauty of each music. So I see no problem if a piece of good music becomes mainstream because I still feel and see the beauty in the music no matter how many people are listening to it now.

And then comes the issue with bands changing their direction of musical style. Like I said, we are not the ones who instruct our favourite artists to write songs that cater to our ears. Every artist has the freedom to write, compose and do whatever music they want! Okay maybe sure we can feel disappointed if we love a rock artist who suddenly plays country for a new album entirely. And I'm pretty sure that won't happen to any artist heh.

For example, I love Lana Del Rey. I truly love and enjoy her first LP "Born To Die" and I was really looking forward to her new album Ultraviolence. When West Coast was released, I was more excited because it sounds really good. But hmm honestly speaking I prefer Born To Die than Ultraviolence, and I totally respect Lana's decision to why she wants to create Ultraviolence. I am not going to blame Lana for like creating an album that I enjoy lesser than her previous one.

Okay at the end of the day, to sum things up:

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and preference when it comes to music. But do remember that your favourite artists are also entitled and they have the freedom to create what they want to create as a musician, as an artist.

So please don't go hating your artist and blaming them just because they write something your ears do not like. I think if you're a true fan, you would respect their decision and you won't blame them whatsoever for these things that you do not like. And also, don't go hating on them because a lot of people have known them now. You should feel happy! That they've made it big in the music industry. And if they stay true to their musicality, they will always be true musicians to you, that's "unaltered" (if you would like to say it) by this mainstream-ism.

There's a joke that I read on the internet about this year's Laneway in Singapore, on a satirical website. Like how this "person" decided to stop listening to his favourite bands because so many people attended their concert (in Laneway) when they're not supposed to be mainstream. Of course it's a joke. Like how I made the same joke to my friend when I went to Laneway last year haha.

Yes I am guilty too that last time I used to make fun of "mainstream" and "non-mainstream" music. I used to say how SOME mainstream music are really bad. I mean really though, some of them have lyrics that have no depth, poor melody and so on. But some mainstream music are really awesome. So in the end, I learned that the quality of the music is not based on whether they are mainstream or not. It's all really purely based on the music! Right?

Okay I feel better blogging this heh. Because well I think the band shouldn't take the blame if some of their fans don't like what their ears are listening to. Because I believe that the band has every freedom to write songs that they want to write.

Just like how we have every freedom to listen to what we want to listen

Band music

Alright I think this is the first time I blogging about this, but well cause tonight I am feeling really sentimental about band music, I'm going to share with you my favourite band music! Well I've been a band member (we call it bandit heh) for like 7 years when I was in Singapore. And I've grown to know songs from easy ones, to difficult ones, from okay ones, to beautiful ones and so on. I am very thankful and glad that I decided to join band in SP again, because SPSB was the "place" where I got to play some of my favourite and some of the most beautiful band music ever.

I'm not a music expert, and not an analytical one. Anyway I didn't study music, so I don't know what actually makes a music beautiful. But I suppose that's the beauty of it, that we actually interpret the beauty of each music. Just like how some of us like classical music while others think it's boring, and how some of us like rap music while I get headaches listening to it heh. So yup it's really up to us to interpret and enjoy the beauty of each music.

Right moving on! Here are some of my favourite band music.



The first song is First Suite in Eb by Gustav Holst. I first came across with this song when I was in secondary school. I forgot which concert it was but they played this song and I was really blown away by it. The second movement of this song (Chaconne) is so beautiful that it left me with an impact up till today whenever I am listening to this song. I really love how each movement is so uniquely beautiful on their own. And when the song comes together, it's just wonderful. And I'm truly glad that I get to try playing this song in SPSB back in 2010 I think, we were trying different pieces but we didn't choose this in the end but no worries, so happy I got to play it!



The second song is Variations On A Korean Folk Song by John Barnes Chance. This is based on the famous Korean folk song "Arirang" and in my opinion, one of the most beautiful band music ever composed. SPSB played this song back in 2011 for our IBM under the baton of Mr Leonard Tan and it's one concert I will never forget. When I first saw the score of this song I went "Wow okay" cause there's quite a few tricky rhythms. But as Mr Tan went through with us the different parts of the songs, and dissect it, the song is really a well-written one.

My favourite "variations" are the third, fourth and last one. I think John Barnes Chance is such a wonderful and talented composer who can create beautiful variations based on one folk song. This song inspires me to compose a variation to a folk song of my region too. But yes coming soon one day haha. Hopefully I get to do this one day!



The third song is Armenian Dances Part 1 by Alfred Reed. Among the band composers that I have come across with, Alfred Reed is one of my favourite composers. His songs are really beautiful (although yes it's quite challenging too) and they always stay in my heart. I came across Armenian Dances when I was still in secondary school, browsing Japanese band performances. And then in secondary 4 my sister's friend sent me a recording of this song and wow can't stop listening to it haha. I love all the movements of this song. And they sound so happy and joyful and grandeur.



Last but not least, and the latest beautiful band music I discovered is this. Variations on A Hymn by Louis Bourgeois by Claude Thomas Smith. I discovered this song from a video of a concert by Seika Girls High School in Japan which sadly is taken off Youtube now. When I first listened to this song I was really awed by how difficult this song sounds and how beautiful each variation is too. Especially the trumpet solo in the middle is so good. And the variation after that sounds like an organ playing in a church. Beautiful isn't it! I wish I could try playing this song.

Right these are, in my opinion, the most beautiful band musics ever composed. I am very happy that I got the chance to play some of these songs in my lifetime haha. Well obviously I have a long list of more beautiful band music that I love. To name a few more: Jericho by Bert Appermont, Noah's Ark by Bert Appermont, "Island Sun" Folk Tune of Okinawa by Takeyuki Nagano, Kaze no Mai by Yoshuke Fukuda, and more and more. Oh yes I think Japanese band composers are wonderfully talented too. The set pieces for the All Japan Band Competitions are so interesting!

Alright I'm going to stop here. I really miss band and I hope I get the chance to play in a band again. Although the chance is really low but well, I'm holding on to my hope and wish that I will sit with my friends again and play my clarinet together. Being in a band is definitely one of the highlights of my life. To play music together with a group of people who want to make beautiful music like you too is really a blessing, a bliss and a gift really.

Enjoy music, it's a privilege to be able to enjoy it with all your heart.

Samsara

I've been wanting to blog since like a few days back but it never happened, so I'm pretty sad heh. But anyway yup it's been an alright days the past week! Not so good in business wise cause we literally ran out of flowers. Like seriously. No more flowers. Well it's a long story but it goes down to a mistake we did back three months ago. Welcome to the flower business. What you do now will be resulted three months later. Good or bad, be ready to take it.

I was feeling rather stressed last week cause I had to explain this to my customers. And I feel really really guilty because well, this could be prevented but well I suppose we just miscalculated the timing, and hence we landed in the wrong timing. Well I don't know, I am feeling annoyed by myself because when this happens I begin to like blame on me, like I could have done this and that. But alas, getting angry over this won't make flowers magically appear tomorrow.

So well this is a great lesson we learned I suppose. And if this did not happen, I think we will continue doing the mistake over and over again. Blessing in disguise, unopened gifts of life which well I open now. A lesson I learned although, painfully.

I'm currently reading "The Tibetan Book of The Living and Dying" by Sogyal Rinpoche and I am really hooked to that book. The first few pages of the book already enlightened me. So I'm pretty eager to find out the rest. I love books like this because it taught me about life and it's really interesting. So far the greatest lesson I've learned from the book is that I should remind myself to stop trapping myself in Samsara. The ocean that makes our life difficult, created by us.

Anxiety, jealousy, anger, hatred and so on, they make samsara. So I'm learning to let things go, what cannot be changed, and what I can't control of. I am learning to free myself.

Life is really easy, but we insist of making it complicated!
Confucius was right all along by saying that.