Earlier Sun

It's currently October and we have passed the spring equinox here, for us Southern Hemisphere folks. Which means the sun is rising earlier and earlier! Till solstice comes. I kinda realise now, that the sky would start lighting up by 5:15 AM ish. Usually it would light up in 6 AM. Unless the sky is cloudy of course. So nowadays I try to hit the bed earlier, and switch off my lights etc earlier too heh.

I have a love hate relationship with the earth's positions throughout the year. Equinoxes, Solstices and so on. Because of my weird sleeping pattern I guess. When we pass the winter solstice in June, I would start getting "anxious" because the sun would rise earlier haha. And when we pass the summer solstice, I'll be heaving a sigh of relief haha. But yes, it's a pretty cool occurrence though.

Our planet is amazing. Our solar system is amazing. The universe too.

Another short post today!

Hearing Rain

We could hear the rain coming here heh

Today I encountered something rather extraordinary. And quirky and cool. I was actually... "Hearing" an incoming rain! It's so cool haha. Okay so I did see that grey clouds were gathering. And in fact it had already started raining in the distance. I could see rain pouring down from quite far. But from where I was located, there was no rain yet. And then we continued walking, and we could hear rain drops falling hard on a nearby building zinc roofs. But yet, no rain on us yet, we're completely dry haha.

As we continued walking down, making our way back, the sound got louder and louder but there was still no rain on us yet heh. But yes eventually, the rain did come to our side. And it rained hard.

So yeah it was a rather cool and quirky experience. I've seen incoming rain before, but I've never "heard" incoming rain. Anyway, I'm glad that we're kind of entering the rainy season. It's been quite a brutal 3 months of dry season. Now that the rain is here, farmers can start planting again! And that people don't have to worry that their water shortage will go on heh. Climate change is real guys.

Alright just a short post today. I wanna chill on this Saturday night. See ya.

No Time?

As much as I have a love-hate relationship with time, I cannot imagine life without time existing.

There are days where I wish time would fly faster, and there are days where I wish it could slow down. But I can never imagine a life where it simply doesn't exist! Haha. Well time itself is a mystery isn't it. I don't really understand the concept of time in physics form. It is very very complex.

I think there were a few occurrences where I was "forced" to not know the time. I think it was during CLS FO Camp in 2011 where I came back as a photographer. It was night walk time and I had to walk along the stations to take some photos (and I was also a game master). My phone battery died so and I have no clock with me (except for my camera, but that's kinda troublesome isn't it). So I spent the night walking along the stations, and then I realised that the sky turned bright and boom. It was like 6:30 AM. I did ask some other GMs for time just to check. But most of the time, I wasn't.

And then the next one was during my flight from LA to Taiwan when I went to the Us in 2012. It was like a 12 hour flight or something and yeah because I was heavily jetlagged, I didn't bother checking the time heh. Except for the "time to destination" part where I checked how long more hah.

There were many times when I would do stuff and without realising the time, n-hour has passed. Then I would panic and like wow where did time go! But there were also times where I realised how slow time seems to fly and I'm like dear time can you pass faster please haha. Humans...

Anyway the reason why I can't imagine life without time is that... Time gives us a sense of completion. It reminds us that we are finite, and that everything is impermanent. With this knowledge we are able to do things well and to complete things and so on. Just like deadlines, they push us to achieve things. So if you imagine if there's no time, how can we actually accomplish these things? 

If there's no time we might take forever to do things. And at the same time we might also rush things and not do them properly. Or realised that we could have done things in a better way.

Also this reminds me of a quote from "The Timekeeper" by Mitch Albom:

"Man alone chimes the hour. And because of this, man alone suffers a paralysing fear that no other creature endures. A fear of time running out."

I think the key here is not to fear that time is running out, but to be aware that time WILL run out. So you better do your shit mindfully and properly hahaha. But yeah. I've always find it intriguing that we "create" time by inventing clocks, calendars and measuring units and so on. But we are unable to live life to the fullest by fearing that we are running out of time. 

Lets not put the blame on time but ourselves though.

Okay that's all for today's post. This is a random thought that crossed my mind a few days ago heh.

Traversing

Traversing the same spaces 

 With my body experiences almost the same things

Just in a different self

And a different time

Photos taken on Cirafilm 800, with Skina camera

Hyped

My social media feed has been buzzing with the rumours and "investigations" on the return of Coldplay which looks like it's coming soon! Okay shoutout to Coldplaying and ColdplayXtra for your "investigative" work haha. They are keeping us updated and excited of course!

So apparently there's a poster of Coldplay and Friedric Nietzche in a subway station in Brazil. It looks like a vintage photo of the band. And apparently this poster was taken off after that heh. Some fans have snapped the photo of the poster and it got Twitter buzzing! Also recently (last week I think?) there's a news from a "reliable" source that Coldplay is releasing a new album next month and another one next year. Just like what they did in Ghost Story and AHFOD.

Well I've been a fan of Coldplay and the way they announce albums have been very interesting and fun. Like when they released Midnight from GH by just simply writing a status that goes Ulaanbatar 12 AM or something like that, referring to the time of Midnight's video release on YouTube 5 years ago!

I'm pretty excited for new Coldplay music cause ever since I watched them live 2 years back, I've been speculating and wondering when they will release some new music again. Well looks like it's coming real soon now. On the other hand, let's enjoy one of my favourite songs from them.

Paraaa Paraa Paraadise

PS: They changed the video thumbnail to a black and white one! Mmhmm

Hospital

Continuing from my previous post.

So as mentioned, I spent the night at the hospital with Pa Bambang and his wife. He was placed at the observation room, which is near the emergency unit. So as we were waiting, we see people coming in. Some looking for medical treatment and some were in an emergency. There was also a pregnant lady whom I think is going into labour, cause her face seemed to be in pain from contractions.

Along the night I witnessed these people. A pregnant lady seemingly in pain from her contractions. A few young men who looked like they're having stomach discomfort (they were holding on to their stomachs). An old lady who looked like she was having difficulty breathing as well. 

In the morning on my way to the blood bank to settle the transfusion issues, I passed by the baby room and heard the sounds of crying newborns. The morning air was cold and crisp. The sun was shining and somehow it was a pretty surreal and serendipitous moment to be in.

As I was accompanying Pa Bambang who's in quite a critical condition, I'm seeing and hearing all these sounds and sights - of life. A lady about to give birth. Sounds of babies crying. Young men who fell sick. An old lady who looks frail. And of course Pa Bambang himself fighting for his life.

In that night I was just feeling helpless, yet hopeful. I still held on to the hope that he's going to be okay once he went for haemodialysis. I'm still hopeful that the drugs administered are able to bring him to a stable condition. But I was also helpless looking at him struggling to breathe. A conscious, human being, gasping for air. And yet there is nothing we could do at that point. It was tough.

That morning felt surreal to me. It was as if I was hearing and looking at the sounds and sights of life. A lifetime, summarised in these senses I was experiencing. It was weird. But beautiful.

Death and All His Friends

Today was a sad day. Someone I know for a long time, and a prominent figure in the temple has passed away. And everything unfolded rather quickly so yeah, it was quite a sad news to wake up to.

Actually I spent the whole of Sunday night at the hospital accompanying him and his wife. It was a really sudden news because earlier on Sunday afternoon, my dad actually called him and asked him to meet him on Monday to talk about treatment plans. And at 11 PM, his wife contacted my sister telling her that they're both at the hospital. So I decided to meet them at the hospital.

Long story short, he's suffering from renal failure. And seeing his blood test results I am in deep shock. How can he still lead his everyday life with such results is beyond my understanding on the human body. Cause his wife told me that in the past week he was still going on about his normal routine. With such states he would have been unconscious in my opinion... 

We were just waiting for his blood pressure, SpO2 level and blood acidity level to return to acceptable levels after medications were given to him, so that he can safely go for haemodialysis. At 3 AM his blood pressure went to safe levels so we were just waiting to see if it will stay stable. But at 4 AM his blood pressure rises again, and his SpO2 level decreased again.

Waited again till 7 AM and his blood pressure went back to safe level again. We were also waiting for his blood to be checked by the blood bank for transfusion as his Hb level was low. And also waiting from the haemodialysis department for the green light. His wife's sister came and I decided to go back home since there's someone else accompanying her then.

At 8:30 his wife messaged me saying that he's going for haemodialysis soon so I was quite relieved and went to sleep. And when I woke up later in the afternoon.... I received the bad news. It turned out that his blood pressure went up again and thus he couldn't go for haemodialysis.

Tinge of guilt hit me, wishing I was there to accompany him and his wife. And to be honest it was really tough to see him suffer. Because of his renal failure, he was having lung oedema (where the lungs is filled with water, because the kidneys couldn't get rid of it). So he was suffocating and having difficulty breathing. I swear seeing him telling me that it's difficult for him to breathe was really tough. Because I know he was conscious. It was really tough. I wish I no one would experience it.

When my late aunt and grandma passed away, they were unconscious. So even though it looks like they were "struggling", their brain has "switched off" and they didn't really know what was happening to them. But this time round it was different. He was awake, he was aware.

He is a prominent figure in the temple, and probably the Buddhist community of my hometown. So I think we have lost quite a figure. And my family and I have known him since I was young. He used to fetch my sister, cousins and I for Sunday school and send us home). And he used to coordinate with me when the temple needs flowers for events or prayers, of if there's anything else we can help.

We'll miss him for sure.

Selamat Jalan Pa Bambang. Thank you for everything that you have done for the Buddhist community of Sukabumi. I will never forget them. Sorry that I couldn't do much last night. Rest easy and may you cross the other shore. Condolences to his family. Take care everyone.

Sabbe Sankhara Anicca