It's the dawn of the last day of the year. And here I am writing all these. Looking back at the past 364 days have been really quite overwhelming both in a good and bad way. I suppose so many things happened in this year that I truly feel "heavy" as I look back on these days of 2013. Well as many things happened, so did I learn a lot of lessons. I am definitely a different person than who I was, 364 days ago. So, thank you for that.
So here are the list of lessons I learnt in this year. And also the list of things that happened too.
In 2013 I learnt that the only person who can fully feel your own achievement and accomplishment is yourself. The only person who can truly feel the joy of the path you chose is yourself. Not your parents, not your siblings or your friends, but yourself. And you can feel it more when this decision, this path you take, is made by you and your heart. Because at the end of the day, this is your life. You're the only person in charge of your happiness and how you feel about everything. In my case, I am truly proud of what I've achieved in the past 3 years, or 11 years of my life. Because these years truly shape who I am today. Without them, I am not the me today.
I'm really proud of how far I've come thus far
In 2013 I learnt that there's so much more things you earned in school, rather than just a certificate and a title you'll get at the end of it. I'm proud of my diploma, I think it is the biggest achievement in life, in terms of academics (since I will most probably not go to a university). My hard work for the past three years have been paid off and I am happy with my final GPA. But I am also proud of the things I learnt outside the classroom. Socialising with people, leading people, the camps and trips I went to have shaped who I am today too - and not just what I learnt in the classroom.
When riding a boat, don't just think of the destination, enjoy the view!
In 2013 I choose to believe that school is a place I go to earn knowledge and not a place where I solely go to, to secure a place in the workfield. If I learnt how to make pizza, can't I make pasta for dinner? Surely I can make pizza for lunch next month or something.
In 2013 I learnt that life is tough, so don't make it tougher. Like what Confucius once said "Life is really simple, but we insist in making it complicated". And well sadly I learnt too that the only person who make your life difficult is yourself.
Life's tough so... Don't make it tougher!
Also in 2013, I learn that doing what you love is tougher. Especially when what stands between you and your dreams is your heart. If you go either way, it will cost you, your heart. I've been stuck but well I will just keep on doing what I love and when there is a will there is a way.I've always believed that dreams are like pollen grains that are hanging on bodies of bees. We simply cling onto them, not knowing when we'll land on a stigma of a flower that would pollinate it and grow into a fruit, which is the fruit of our labour. So instead of losing hope, I will still cling on to the things I love doing.
Always remember that a seed planted won't flower overnight
In 2013 I learnt that things happen for a reason as always. Life may not give you the reason three hours or a day after a particular event happened. In my case this year, life gave me a reason to why I should return home 7 months after I'm back. I made the right decision to go back, not just for myself but more for the others here. I couldn't imagine the things that are going to happen if I don't return back. So yes, life gave me the reason why I should go back, 7 months after I'm here. And I'm pretty cool with that. Everything surely happen for a reason!
Things happen for a reason. Like how you can walk on this sandbank
In 2013 I had my first solo-trip to Bali. And it is truly an exciting and eye-opening experience I will never forget. Taking a morning stroll along Kuta beach, then panicking trying to find a shelter cause there was a sudden storm.Walking along the streets of Ubud, looking at the arts and crafts over there. Have a sip of tea in a local shop. Walking along the streets of Kuta at night where everyone asked me to go inside bars, and I choose not to be drunk alone heh. It's an eye opener, because after this trip I fell in love with traveling alone.
Sunset in Uluwatu, March 2013
In 2013 I learnt that traveling alone is wonderful. People associate "alone" as something negative and sad. When I told people that I was going to Bali alone or that I went to Bali alone, most of their response was "Why?" and they told me that wouldn't it be a sad experience. I hereby recommend everyone to travel alone at least once in your life (especially when you're young) because it will truly open up your horizon, and well hopefully, like me, you'll enjoy the experience. But please do your research before the trip, and keep safe when you're at your destination!
Here's to more solo-travels!
In 2013 I also learnt that going to concerts alone isn't a bad thing at all. I went to quite a lot of concert/symphonic band concerts alone in Singapore and I think it's quite normal. At least I'm going there to either support a friend, or I'll bump with someone I know. This year, my favourite band, Sigur Ros, came to Indonesia. And since no one in my family listens to them except for me, I decided to go alone because I wouldn't want to miss this chance! It was my first time watching a concert in my own homeland, and my first non-classical concert alone too. And it was an amazing experience. I love Indonesian Sigur Ros fans, and I was able to enjoy the concert to the fullest - cause I was able to move, and do, however and whatever I want. Takk Fyrir Sigur Ros!
Istora Senayan, 10/5/2013
In 2013 I graduated from SP. I have formally ended my polytechnic education, and most probably (or actually) my institutional education since I will most probably not continue to a university (long story, shan't talk here). I have obtained a Diploma in Biomedical Sciences and it is my highest achievement in life in terms of education. I have graduated with my target GPA and I'm proud of that too. It is rather sad to realise that everything has come to an end, because I truly enjoyed my 3 years in polytechnic. I'm so ever thankful to the lecturers who have taught me (Special mention to Dr Simon Tan, my FYP mentor) and to all of my friends, whom I have forged friendships and carved memories with. I will miss you, and I am still missing my days there, actually.
Photo credit to SP
You only graduate once!
In 2013 I left Singapore for good. The eleven years I spent there, from my days learning English at NYU language centre in 2002, my primary school days in Pei Tong from 2003-2005, Tanglin Secondary school days, from 2006-2009, and last but not least SP days from 2010-2013, were really the best 11 years of my life. I've learned a lot both as a student, a small kid, a teenager and a young adult. And I'm ever thankful for the experience to study abroad since young. I've learned the value of independence and diligence. I've cherished the memories, friendships and relationships I made with the people there. I have treasured the flavours of solitude, which I truly miss. Singapore will always be a second home to me. Going back there will never feel like going for a holiday. It's just like going back home lor. Cause nothing seems foreign to me there.
My room. Missing the mess, and everything else.
In 2013 I had a taste of the working life. Returning home, I began to help my father in his business and well, though I don't "formally" have a job here, like I don't have a fixed working hour and stuff, I still tasted the working life. I caught a glimpse of the life I might probably have to live here? I suppose? And well, working life is... Tough, in many ways. School's definitely more fun. But we can never stay forever young (we can feel forever young though). So yes even up till today I'm coping and coping with this transition. I hope in 2014 I get to pass this transition gracefully and beautifully.
Hope I can grow beautifully like this green Shamrock
And in 2013 I had a taste of growing up. I turned 21 in July and to be honest, it feels... Nothing. I mean it feels normal, not sure what's the big deal of turning 21, why is everyone feeling so afraid of growing up. You're not alone, don't worry! But I surely had a taste in growing up. The times when you realise you're no longer teens and you begin to think about life more and more. I suppose, growing up means a lot of things. Like when you begin to hold responsibilities by yourself. When you begin to separate your rights and your wrongs. When you begin to get more confused with life (congrats!). When you get puzzled by your own actions and you're confused with what to do. Many people say one of the most difficult times in your life is in your 30s, when you have to juggle a career and a family. I think the twenties are also one of the most difficult times of your life. Because you're exploring, and trying to define who you are. And yes, it's very difficult to do that.
Quoting Avicii's song
"All this time I was finding myself, and I didn't know I was lost"
In 2013 I learnt that the older you grow the lesser time you have for yourself. Well the older you grow, the faster, and the more the amount of things that will catch up with you. Your job, your responsibility and this and that. And yes you will have lesser time for yourself. When I mean for yourself, I'm referring to the times where you can do things that you want to do. Be it having a cuppa in Starbucks, or cooking your meals. Or simply lazying around the bed watching TV or surfing the net. You'll have lesser time for traveling too. So yes, in this year, I took every opportunity to be alone. Because I know the older I grow, the lesser time I have for myself. But I believe in the saying I come across with. "We don't find time, we make time". So yes, I think I'll need to plan my time better to enjoy some me-times.
Alone time is ALWAYS welcomed!
In 2013 I learnt that school is more fun that working. The big big difference between these two is simple. In school, I will only get stressed when there are exams nearby, or when a big project/assignment is due. But once I got through all these, I can take a breather and do the things that I enjoy. It seems like I just need to brave through one storm, and once I get pass through it, I get to take a breather for a while before braving another storm. Whereas in working, problems never stop appearing heh. Because I guess in work you don't only have to deal with your "work", but you're also dealing with the people and everything else around you. So yes to my friends who are still schooling now, please enjoy your days there.
2013 has been... A year. Really. If 2012 was a year of patience to me, then 2013 was a year of change. It was a year of change because well, of the things that happened above. And change is the only constant in this world so I accept that and I learnt this year that you have to go with change, not go against it. It is when you go against it that you'll find everything wrong.
2013 was a year I wish wouldn't come because I knew in the beginning that this year will be the year where I'll be returning home for good. And well I really don't want to leave that sunny island but I know I have to. Time has proven to me why I have to. But like I said before I'm truly thankful for these 11 years because they have truly shaped who I am today.
When 2013 begins, there is nothing much that I was expecting out of this year. I don't know why but I feel emptiness within. When 2012 begins I was really hopeful, and I begin to jot down the things I want to do and such. But this year was pretty much different. I didn't write a lot of things, and well the end-result was quite surprising actually - I learned, and did more things that I expected myself to. So it's good that this emptiness actually bears a fruit.
In 2013 I learnt to not get over ambitious with resolutions. I think resolutions should start small, and small and achievable, and manageable and yes, I think these resolutions are easier to achieve. And I think cut it with the "lose weight" "travel a lot" "do a gazzilion things" resolutions. Instead of listing down all the places you want to visit, just pick a few and really work towards planning it, to achieve the resolution. Make your resolution SMART - Specific, Measurable, Assignable, Realistic, Time-specific. Wow I still remember this! Hehe. (No I actually just remembered the S, M, R, T).
I have a few failed resolutions. I promised to blog often although I'm back here and my posts are actually cut by 62.2%! And yes it's quite depressing. But well I have my reasons too. I wanted to do a scapbook of my poly days when I graduated and once again it never happened. But well I'm quite thankful that I actually managed to keep most of the promises I made to myself. Which I shall not post here heh. So yeah, it's a game of give and take I suppose.
Alright, what a long post, and what a long year it has been. A lot of things happened and a lot of lessons learned. I'm sure I've learned more than what I've written above. But these are just the main things that I've learned. Thank you 2013, the people, the events, and everything else in between for the lessons learned and the memories cherished. This year of change has officially come to an end and well, here I am saying my farewell to you.
2014 is coming up ahead. I have yet to write my new year's resolutions and wishes and hopes and dreams. But well, here's to everything in 2013, and to a bright new year of 2014 ahead. Once again thank you everyone, especially those in Singapore, for making this year a truly memorable one for me. Goodby 2013! Thanks for everything really!
So long, and goodbye.
1 comment:
Hey Syaz! Yup yup definitely, I'll have to keep on doing what I love and I'm sure one day I will find my calling. I think somehow a lot of people find 2013 a year of change. Lets make 2014 a better change too yeah! :)
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