Goodbye guk-guk

 Will miss you, you silly old girl

Today is one of the saddest days of my life. A day I wish would never come but definitely has to come. A day I wish would never arrive but definitely has to happen. Today I lost a great friend/girlfriend/old girl. Today my dog died, and I'm really saddened by it. We all know she has to go one day and that her time is coming, we just don't know when. And today was the day.

And the most sad thing is that she passed away when I was asleep arrghhh how dare she! :(

Today the vet came because her condition was getting worst. She was given antibiotics but well, I suppose she just didn't make it through. I feel really sad to see her condition and deep in my heart I know that she won't hold any longer. So I told her from the inside that if she wants to leave, then leave. If it's timer for her to go, I will let her go.

My dog (she's called guk-guk which is woof-woof in Indonesian) came about 7 years ago. She was a dog from somewhere near my house who loved to come by near our home. My mum began to give food to her, away from my house. But as time went by she braved herself and visited our house. After a few months of coming and going, my dog decided to make our house her new home. And of course we welcomed her with out hearts.

Years went by, she had sex with some other stray and gave birth to a few pups and we had to give some of them away cause we couldn't handle that many. 2 of them are still with us now. Guk guk condition was starting to get worst about last year when her abdomen gets bigger. The doctor said that she has fluid inside. We can do an operation on her but it was too risky. So just decided to give her medicine and try to keep her safe and healthy.

Sigh, I'm going to miss her a lot. Every night I would feed her and give her water. She would pop her head from under the table to me to ask for food or to be patted. When she's hungry she would go to the kitchen and wait for me to give her food. When she's thirsty she would stand near the water tap and expect me to give her a bowl of water. She would place her head on my lap and just stay there to ask for a pat. When the rain got heavy she would cower beside me or stay with me in my room. All these little things, will now be missed.

But I too, have to accept this. Because I have accepted the three principles of existence of Buddhism and one of them is impermanence. My dog has to die, when her time arrives. And it's her time to go today, so I have to accept this. I'm sure she's in a place now filled with all her favourite food and milk. She's free now and I'm glad to know that.

Goodbye guk-guk and thank you for everything. You will always be missed.