Expression of love

 How do you express your love?

Today I come across this article a friend of mine shared on his wall (Thanks Ardin!):

It's titled "Why Chinese parents don't say I love you"

It is a very interesting article and I think it's a well written one too. I've been asking myself the same question as I grow up till today. Why is it that I find it awkward to go to my mum and say "Hi mum I love you". Don't even ask about me doing it to my dad HAHAHA. Or even to my siblings and other relatives. And also how I find it alright that my parents don't do the same to me. That I don't find it a necessity for my parents to tell me that they love me.

Unlike in western movies where it's normal to see children saying "Love you mum!" as they leave for school or something. Or when they text their parents.

After reading the article, I truly understand why I find it okay for me, and my parents to do that - because their actions already told me that they love me. Their gestures, their habits and so on. Well for me I don't show it obviously either to my parents but well my siblings and I did small gestures that show how much we love and respect our parents.

From the parent side -  how my mum would always (keyword: always) ask me if I have eaten. Even when I was still in Singapore, the first thing that she would ask me is "Have you eaten?". And it continues till now. How my parents would ask me to bring a jacket along when we're going to cold places. How my parents would offer me food when we're eating. Sometimes even leaving the "best" parts of the food for me. Like meat in a dish or something. And there are many more things that I think will be too long to list. But these are the major ones.

From the children side - how I would just automatically go to the kitchen and help my mum when she's cooking, or at least ask her if there is anything I can help. How I would bring the towel for my dad if he forgets it, hanging outside. How we would hold our parents' arms when walking on slippery roads. I would even give my mum a massage when she's cooking. How I would just sit with my father so that we can have a conversation together. And same, the list can go pretty long if I continue too so I will just stop here I suppose.

But well I truly agree that the items will be much more in the parent side than ours.

 I remember a Channel News Asia show (I think it was Get Real) where random people are asked on the street to pick up their phone and then call their parents and say I love you to them. Some of them got so touched that they cried, and their parents cried too. I think yeah, expressing our love verbally to our parents here seem like a "difficult" and weird thing to do somehow. But to show it through gestures, I think we do it pretty well.

I think we're brought up here in a way where love is not something that you show to your parents... But it's just there? Which I think is weird in a very beautiful way. Well for me, my parents are stern in disciplining me. So I suppose I have grown a sense of utmost respect to them. And I think through this respect that you show, you will naturally and co-incidentally show your love to your parents too. It becomes something you do not say to them, but more of show.

Maybe it's years and years of the way we are brought up, the way our parents were brought up, and grandparents and so on, that this flows in Asian society.

I would like to end this post, with the same ending of the article where a blogger, Cindy, wrote:

“Chinese families know how to love fiercely. They do it through immense generosity, unwavering loyalty, and a lot of food. We love differently, not better, not worse, but definitely different.”

Couldn't agree less with the words above!

Anyway March is here, so far it's been a great beginning to March mwahaha. Let's hope for a greater and happier month ahead. And also... 

I've got the green light.