Empty

Just me hanging out at Stokkysholmur

Hey everyone, I'm back in my hometown now, from the biggest adventure of my life so far, in Iceland! Well the title of this post says how much exactly I'm feeling ever since I leave Reykjavik. It's very very empty. Wasn't in the mood for everything. On the way to Helsinki I didn't feel like listening to music, I didn't feel like watching movies on the plane, nothing. Just pure moodless. But I wouldn't say I'm "depressed" leaving Iceland. I am sad though, that this journey has to come to an end. But everything does! So no worries indeed.

I'll blog about my days there soon in individual posts :)

Anyway the flight home was very nice. Spent 4 hours in Helsinki, although I have 6. But decided to go to the airport earlier just to make sure I was early. And the best part was that I was given business class seat on the way back to Singapore! Oh man I feel like a boss there haha. It's always a dream of mine to fly business long-haul and I did! Not sure why but yeah apparently some people were given business class seats too (although they're economy passengers).

There was a slight delay when I reached Singapore so I was rushing like mad to the gate because my Garuda flight was in Terminal 3 while my Helsinki flight landed in terminal one. So imagine the distance. As for the rest of the trip it was great, landed home, and then the drive to my hometown was alright too. Although now I'm having flu and my body is kinda feverish. Must be the fatigue and the jet lag I suppose. 30 hours of traveling since I left Reykjavik.

And yes, I feel bloody empty within me right now.

I've been wondering why and been searching the answer to this emptiness. I mean after every trip, I would definitely suffer from post-trip withdrawal syndrome. This syndrome of realising that I am no longer in a holiday and have to go back to work, to "reality". This syndrome of realising that I don't know when else I get to travel and see new places, and so on. But now this feeling is horribly different from the one I used to have! Everything seems so blatantly empty.

Usually this emptiness feeling will go away once I realised that it's just "one of those syndromes" and then I'll get back to normal. But now I just simply can't. Well it is the biggest adventure of my life so far, to go to Iceland alone. So that's probably one of the causes of this. And secondly it's also my biggest wanderlust dream to go there, another reason.

Or maybe, it is THE reason.

You know it's been about a year since I made the decision of going to Iceland in 2014. I didn't know how and when, I just kept holding on to this dream of mine and try to make it a reality. So for about a year I held on to my dreams. Every single day I think about it. And naturally I began planning everything from accommodation, flights, visa and so on. And until I am done with this dream, I still held onto it tightly, so tight, not letting it go.

Well now that I'm done... No wonder I feel pretty empty. Because this dream has been "let go" by me, since I've done it. So can you imagine how it feels, say you're holding onto something for like 6 hours and then suddenly you let it go and you feel light, empty, and weird. It's like me carrying my bag, and then storing it at Helsinki's airport locker. Walking around Helsinki without my bag feels very weird. But hey, that's how it's supposed to happen heh.

Hmm I don't know. Maybe this feeling will go away quickly. Yes I'm sad that this trip has come to an end. But I'm happier to know that I fucking did it!