Bad Mood

Relatively, I'm a quiet kind when I'm in a bad mood. I'd rather keep quiet when I'm angry/sad. Preferably, I would lock myself in my room and shut up, or listen to music. Well last night I was kind of in a bad mood. First of all I reached home late (1 AM late) and I had work to do, and lots of other things to do, and.... Someone decided to forget to pay the internet bills. That's when I "exploded".

Well first of all I need the internet to do work (emails and stuff). Secondly, internet is my source of entertainment so... After a long day, discovering that I don't have any platform to chill to, I feel pissed. Well I couldn't lock myself in the room. I still had work to do, dinner to help my mum cook and things like that. So... I felt kinda guilty that I was quiet to both my parents heh.

Sometimes when I'm upset I just wish I can go to my room straight and just stay there to seek comfort and solitude. But life being life, we can't just do this. Because most of the time we feel upset when we're with people eh? You can't just be alone -right away- after being upset. Sometimes I feel bad that I have to do this to other people. But sometimes I feel it's better to do this than being "explosive" around people haha. To me when I have problems, I like to keep it to myself. I don't like sharing with people unless I am seeking help from them, or they know the problem and want me to talk to them about it.

That's why I feel if I can have a super power, it is to disappear from earth without anyone noticing and asking me where I am mwahaha. That will be so wonderful won't it?

Oh well, I think this is where meditation comes into play. I think I'm not mindful enough to let everything go heh. I think I need to just to meditate more. To a level where I can just be fully aware of my emotions. And not be affected by the. Well... A long way to go but I'm on my way!

Alright October is here! So many exciting things are happening in this month. Legggoooooo (Y)