TIL: Happiness

 You will find happiness 

when you discovered that it is nowhere to be found

It's the last day on January! Whew. Today was quite a tiring day for me cause I went to Jakarta with my brother in law to fetch his mum who came all the way from Ukraine! Well she wanna see her grandson of course so yup, so awed for her to make such a long trip down. But this isn't her first time so yeah. We left early today to go to Jakarta first because my bro in law gotta look for something.

I reached home again at 1 AM! So yeah pretty tired, but gonna post this one!

Okay I've decided to create a new post series every month called Things I Learned (TIL) which basically just talks about the things I learned in this month. Anything. Life lessons, etc and so on. Easier to talk once again at the end of the year :P I might change the name of this series along the way.

For this month is about... Happiness. Again.

I just come to a realisation that hmm happiness is such a weird thing. Like so far, the things that happened to me and so on, they taught me that I don't want to rely on happiness to make me happy. I know that sounds really absurd. Firstly, I have learned not to make it my destination or my goal. Because I know it is not there but it is something that we create. But then again, I realised even if we create it, we seem to make it difficult. We cling onto them so much that we feel "worried" if we don't.

Which is why I come to a realisation that you will find happiness when you realised that it is nowhere to be found. You will never find happiness anywhere. And once you discovered this fact, you will finally find it. It is empty, nowhere, and it's sort of non existing. I realised how much emptiness has helped me a lot last year. And seriously I don't want to have lots of happiness. I want emptiness.

It is very difficult to put into words, what I'm feeling about this. I just feel that I no longer want happiness? Because it's just such a weird thing to be honest haha. Okay I'm going to talk about this on another post. Anyway I have a couple of posts to talk about next month! So stay tuned for that :D

Sorry if I don't make sense here. I really don't know how to put it into words haha.