Pressence of Emptiness

So today we did the Qing Ming prayers at home for my aunt. Well traditionally we're supposed to bring food etc to the tomb to pray there. But to make things easier and more convenient, we prepare the food at home first (at the altar) before we go to the tomb for Qing Ming haha. And because my aunt just recently passed away, we have to do the prayers for her first, before my grandparents.

I think it's quite funny how my nephew wasn't really in a good mood during the prayers. Like he just wanted to go home. My dad thinks that maybe he's sort of confused because we are doing prayers for my aunt. With her photograph on the table and her favourite food on top of it. Usually during the other prayers, my nephew would be with my aunt, asking her to eat together etc. 

So I think it isn't stranger for him to act such way today. He's probably confused.

I think emptiness will be a part of us after someone's passing. All the things that the person usually does will feel incomplete and different. When you're an adult you'll understand things. But as a kid I'm pretty sure things felt very weird right. So yeah. It's part of life I guess.

It's quite hmm... Sad? Funny? How one day after we buried my aunt, we had a satay session together at home (cause it was a public holiday). And my nephew asked my sis to go to my aunt's house to ask her to come and eat. And how one of our drivers came on a Sunday and he asked my driver "Oh you're here to fetch aunty right?". All these innocent things but... It's quite saddening to see.

Oh well, life has to go on. I guess we'll just have to get used to this emptiness,

until it has become part of us.