Recently, there was an incidence where a joke was placed at the wrong (and unnecessary) time. And alas some misunderstanding followed up and... Yeah. Things got awkward haha.
Anyway this incidence reminds me of a similar case where I was the one who said something wrong. And from then onwards, I became a person who doesn't like to joke around. Not only because I'm afraid that I will put it in a wrong way, but also I'm a horrible joker hah. I feel like telling you about it!
Anyway the incidence happened back in secondary school. In sec 4 to be exact. I remember it was Chemistry class with Mdm Ng. She caught me talking in class and well she reprimanded me by saying something like "Adhi you still want to talk? I thought you want to give me an A1?"
To which I replied, as a joke, "Mdm Ng you watch out I'm going to give you an A1!"
I remember seeing the whole class gasp haha. And Mdm Ng's shocked face. I seriously thought it was a joke and a light situation until the whole class just went into this really awkward silence. Which was broken with Mdm Ng's words: "Adhi you better watch you words ar". And I went confused.
I felt even more horrible when Jeslyn came to me after class and asked me to apologise to Mdm Ng. I told her like wait, I was only joking, like you know I want to give her an A1 so she better "watch out" kind of thing. But yeah it was quite bad that a few other people actually asked me to apologise!
So after class I stayed behind and apologised and told her what I truly mean by that. And Mdm Ng understood, she just asked me to be more careful with my words. I swear after that day I felt so guilty about this whole incidence. Even up till today, whenever I thought about it. What was meant as a joke, suddenly became something so serious heh. So yep. Lesson learned from that day.
Anyway I ended up scoring an A2 for Os and when I came to Mdm Ng to thank her for everything she sarcastically said "Adhi I though you want to give me an A1? Where is it?" HAHAHA. But anyway she was happy cause I scored a B3 for prelims. I was happy too, even though a bit disappointed with myself because I thought I tackled the Chemistry paper well heh :P Gosh this was 10 years ago.
So yup, since then I stopped "joking" around because that incidence made me afraid to do so. Like what if my simple joke ended up as something offensive, even though I have zero intention to offend anyone. Okay unless someone was joking around (in terms of comedy) and I add on to it, I think that is the limit of my jokes. Also I'm a horrible joker, I'm not that ice-breaker in a group heh.
Also ever since I learn more about Buddhism, I am trying to apply what the Buddha taught about speech. How we should only say things that are necessary, beneficial and mindful to others. I forgot the criteria but yeah if the things that are going to leave our mouths don't fulfill any of the criteria, then it's better not to say it at all. Which is very helpful and pretty straightforward.
Just like the saying goes, say things like you mean it. If you don't mean it at all, then don't say it. Which is also why I'm relatively a quiet person. If I have nothing to say, I won't say anything.
Alrighty that's all for this random post! Today was my great grandma's 64th death anniversary, so my whole family gathered to do some prayers. But in the evening I was having a really bad headache (probably because I only slept for 3 hours last night) and another round of gastric. Probably because of the erratic sleep and eating time too. Feeling much better now. Okay, see you soon!
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