Loneliness // Aloneness

It's apparently some Single's day today, which is a weird day to begin with. A day to celebrate being single? A day for singles to down their sorrow by shopping? Hahaha. I'm not sure. But lets talk about something related to being single - loneliness! I wouldn't deem it as a negative thing tho.

I recently saw a IG story of an Instagrammer I followed and he was discussing about a book, I forgot the title but it's about being alone. And he mentioned about how he often doesn't realise that he does a lot of things alone. And that really strike a chord inside of me. Because I kinda do the same!

Okay I'm not completely alone here. I have my family and so on. But compared to my days in Singapore, I have become someone who's way less socially active heh. I have adapted a routine that revolves around work and family and so on. As for my social activity, it's almost close to none hah.

I mean the only people I interact with are my family and my workers. I don't have any friends here. Which is fine, I mean we're all adults now and my friends here are either married or working out of town. And of course, my close friends are all in Singapore and that's okay too. 

I don't necessarily feel lonely at all here. Perhaps I have gotten used to being alone; even way back when I was still in Singapore. There are moments where I do realise that I am alone. Like on weekends I would just spend it at home, alone in my room. Journaling, blogging, listening to music and so on. And it's not something bad for me. I kinda enjoy it and it's something that I live with.

But there are days where I also think about the future - if my life will remain like this forever. And the thought of changing this with the addition of somebody else. Will I enjoy it more? Or will my peace be disturbed heh. I'm not socially dismissive tho! Like I'm fine with human interactions heh.

Just that I feel as I grow older, I am more inclined to have interactions that matter. I really have no time for small talks and conversations that get me nowhere. Hollow relationships and so on.

You see I still see myself staying single forever. I am not worried about not finding someone heh. But at the same time I'm also having an open mind about being in a relationship. Although to be honest all these years, the former still reign supreme in my heart. I enjoy being alone - without being lonely!

I don't really like the idea/thought that we all need a partner in our lives. Like we have to be in a relationship and so on. I hope I don't sound crude but I have a philosophy that we need to be able to be happy with ourselves first. Because if we rely on other people for happiness, trust me, we'll be miserable. But of course I'm not saying that we should all be single haha. It's just me.

I also don't like the idea that a couple "completes each other". I think we're all whole as human beings but our companion should complete each other, not our union. I hope you get what I mean.

I had a conversation about this once - someone asked me "who's going to take care of you when you're old?" Well my answer to that is - myself! Hahaha. Like well I would love to learn how to take care of myself, and how to be self sufficient. Then I can rely on myself and not anyone else. Until the day arrives where I can no longer take of myself. Then that's another problem to think about heh.

Which is why all in all, I don't see loneliness as a negative thing. Or perhaps I don't really like to call it loneliness but solitude. The art of being alone is something difficult to learn. But I'm eager to master!

When loneliness, gives me happiness

Whew today... Was kind of a failed day. But at the same time it's a really... Happy day for me! Anyway why failed - I'm supposed to go to Punggol Beach for a sunrise shot. Well I DID WAKE UP but... I looked at the window and it was damn cloudy. So I was thinking nahh not a nice day to take sunrise shot. So I went back to sleep! (Y). But anyway yeah I slept again and woke up at 12. Oh what a wonderful day.

Anyway I was really lazing around from 12 to 3. Then somehow somewhat... I have this weird, unexplainable and cool urge of going somewhere. Just go somewhere, anywhere. Just get out of my house. So with a steady gut and this unexplainable urge, I took my bag, took my water bottle, a notebook, a pen and my camera. And I headed to... Labrador Park!

Why Labrador Park? Cause I want to explore something new, somewhere I've never been before.

And here it is. I will explain to you my little adventure today. All of these words were written as accordingly during my small adventure. Lets go!

  4:00 PM - Urge to go somewhere

Currently at bus 7 on my way to Holland Village. I've decided to go to Labrador Park. Not sure why but I just have the urge to go somewhere than rotting at home. For a little taste of adventure, I've decided to go somewhere new, somewhere unexplored by me.

4:16 PM - Buona Vista Interchange

Will take me around 13 minutes to reach Labrador Park. I really don't know what to expect there but hopefully will take some nice shots. And hopefully my time will be enough. 1.5 hours should be ample huh?

4:23 PM - Haw Par Villa

I guess life can be depicted as a train ride. People come, people go. But the train journey still goes on. Some go to the same destination while others different. And at one point of you future train journeys, they will come into the same train you take again.

4:56 PM - Labrador Park

After walking for about 16 minutes from the MRT, I've finally reached the beack (or the park). They need more directions. I'm sorry. Was feeling quite lost but nevertheless I found it! So yup. It's a nice place for a walk and dating cause it's very tranquil. But less for group outings. Exploring new places is always fun. I better get going so see you!

 

5:31 PM - The end of an adventure

Currently sitting on this walkway facing the beach. In front of me lies Sentosa and the slow, moving, crashing waves. The wind is blowing, cooling off my body. I guess this is the end of my little adventure at Labrador Park. a new place explored, a new bliss discovered and felt. I'm still not sure what made me go here, when it's just this urge that pushed me to do all of these. Walking and exploring this new place alone was really fin. I guess it's true that loneliness, gives me happiness.

Yup so I guess that's all for my "little adventure" at Labrador Park! I know it's quite weird and sudden. It's quite... "unusual" for someone to explore new places alone. It's weird for someone to have the urge to go somewhere. Just go somewhere. Well now I do have that urge, and it's really one of the best feelings ever! I'm serious. It feels weird and unexplainable but honestly speaking, it's an awesome feeling.

And the times I had exploring Labrador Park alone, walking along the beach, shooting the photos, enjoying the sea breeze. Everything. Was really awesome. It feels pretty surreal and just great to spend some times alone. It feels like you're coming back to yourself, it feels like the whole world belongs to you. There's an unexplainable sense of freedom you get. And most importantly, a sense of joy. Just pure joy.

Genuine happiness at its best.

We all tend to enjoy others' company with us. But most of the time we forget that we, too, need time to ourselves. Just spending time alone. I don't mean to things like eating dinner alone, or going to school alone. What I mean is - you, choosing yourself to be alone. Sometimes we have "no choice" to be alone. But sometimes when YOU choose to be alone. There's this joy that no one else but you can feel. Pretty lovely.

Not saying we should be alone all the time. Just saying it's important for us to spend some times alone. Not being "forced" to be alone. But your will.

But as the song goes, anyway, we're all alone in this world haha.