Sold!

Today was a day that I used to fear in the past. It is the day where sold my camera lenses! Okay well I did talk about this last month I think and they're finally sold. It was a plan but well, back seven years ago, I never thought of selling my lenses away. After all I bought all of them with the money I saved. It was bittersweet but I wanna do it. I still have two lenses though, and my A57 body so yeah.

I sold my 50mm F1.8, 28mm F2.8 and Tamron 18-200 lenses. Okay the Tamron one is such in a bad shape (I bought it second so yeah) so it didn't fetch a good price. In fact none of the lenses fetched a good price. After all they are all 7 years old and not many people use the Sony Alpha system in Indonesia. So the shop didn't want to get good price for them. I'm find with it, I understand.

I still have my A57 body, 16-50 F2.8 and my kit lens. The 1650 is my favourite lens because it is really good hah. Also by far the most expensive lens I bought. But I am actually considering to sell them away too. My kit lens, everything. And get a new camera mwahaha. But I really love my camera and I have such a huge emotional bond with it. Cause well, she's my girlfriend hahaha.

Okay so back to the first point, yes I used to think that I will never sell my lenses away. I thought I'll do photography often for a long time, even in the future. But well life is life and it didn't turn out that way. I didn't use my lenses most of the time, they are stored in my lens box. And in line with my minimalism resolution, I decided to sell them away. I don't feel bad at all, I thought it was funny because last time, I had such thoughts of never selling my lenses away. And keeping them forever.

There is a bit of guilt of course, I wish I wouldn't buy so many lenses (50mm F1.8 is a good lens though). I was too lured and too ambitious to get them. I think if I know better I would just stick with a 16-50 all the way. But then again 1650 was a new lens back then and it wasn't released when I first got my camera. So yeah, I suppose things are meant to be this way mmhmm. No biggies!

Although I don't take photos as often as I used to when I was in Singapore, I will still take photos whenever possible, when given the chance. Right now my iPhone is the camera that I use daily. And obviously it has many limitations compared to my DSLR. I really love photography even though it is not something that I do for a living or even do on a daily basis. And I will never stop pursuing this hobby of mine. Even if I can only go for a shoot once a month or longer than that.

Right now I don't think that I should own a DSLR with that many lenses. So that's why I was thinking of selling my DSLR and getting a new camera. Just one camera with one lens. I am looking at the Sony A6000 or actually Fujifilm. Sony is kinda expensive for my budget though so yeah. I'm even thinking of getting the Nikon J1 or Canon EOS M. The price of the J1 is kinda low now.

Now I simply bring my camera when I'm traveling or when I'm out of town. Apart from that, I would just store it in my cupboard inside an air tight box (yes I'm budget). So I don't wanna spend a lot on the camera. Something that would allow me to shoot conveniently is good. I would prefer an interchangeable lens camera cause then I might be able to upgrade a lens or something. Also Point and shoots have their limitations too. Except maybe for the Sony RX100 V hahaha.

Alright that's all for now. One goal of my minimalism resolution done! More to come.

Investment

Just like money, we invest a lot in life. Not just to some business prospects or stock market. But the daily occurrences in our lives. We invest our time to fix a problem. We invest our energy on some people. We invest lots of things. And just like an investment, we need to be careful of what we are investing on. Cause when things go wrong, we'll never get our investments (and time) back.

Most of the time though, we invest the wrong things in life. We invest our emotions and feelings to a problem, when all we have to do is to invest our time and energy to find the solution.

So far I've been doing this in life. When I come across with a problem, I don't straightaway "feel" the problem. What's left in my head is how do we fix the problem? What can I do *right now* to fix it? What do I have here to fix the problem? Because I feel that time is precious and that we should utilise it as much as possible, in the best way possible. I find it redundant to put my emotions inside it.

I wouldn't lie, it is definitely not easy to do this. Although I don't show my feelings, I do feel annoyed inside when there is a problem. But I bring my mind into focus and I just want to solve the problem. It is definitely not easy because in my 24 years of existence here, I rarely find people who do this. Most of the time people always show their emotions when a problem occurs.

I used to be an angsty bitch too when it comes to meeting problems hah. I would go sulky and urgh meow woof on it. But across the years, not sure if it's thanks to my meditation or something, I realised how much time I have wasted by doing this. We have such a limited time in life and I think we shouldn't waste it on these feelings. I think feelings are weird, they play in your mind too much.

Oh well, just a short thought about this. I'm not a perfect person and I'm still perfecting this new habit. But I think it helps a lot. Especially when you grow up and you face more challenges.

Remember, never be a slave to your emotions.

Work work work work work

Tonight has been a rather intense night. I did 2.5 hours of non-stop work but well at the end of the day, I managed to finish all of them. Weirdly enough, tonight really reminds me of my Sunday nights in Singapore especially back in 2012, during the internship period heh. Cause I love pushing away work on Friday and Saturday nights, and do everything on Sunday nights, with Sunday blues.

I could still remember the Sunday nights of 2012. Morning will be spent at the temple, afternoon doing grocery shopping and lunch, evening on my weekly runs, and night, doing work after dinner. I'll sit in front of my laptop feeling both eager to do work and dreading the upcoming week. It's really one of those nights where I feel conflicted hah. I always look forward to the next weekend.

Things are pretty much the same nowadays. I am always very busy on Sunday because I have delivery to settle and also work to do in the evening. I changed my habit since end of last year. I usually pile up my work until Wednesday and dedicate it to finish everything. Sometimes I push it again and again to another day. But last year this plan backfired because sometimes, unforeseen circumstances can ruin my plan (and even week!). So I learned that I should just do work whenever possible.

If I have time to do work, I will do it. That's my motto now haha.

I used to think that I should live my life without plans and schedules. Like sort of a hippy, living life freely. Taking whatever comes at me. But hmm well if you're handling lots of stuff at the same time you'll realise that you can't do this at all. So I try to plan my time well. Even if I don't have a regimental plan, at least I try to accomplish as much task that I can do on the next few hours/on this day.

Not sure if I can label myself as a procrastinator. But it's a bad habit of mine that I used to have, thinking I have time to do things on another time. Well most of the time I do really have time. But I think life is all about utilising as much time as you have to do the things you need to do. I remember back in 2014/2015 I like to do this because I thought it's better to just do my work in one shot. Hmm nope.

I've learned my lesson well, especially how sometimes, doing lots of work in one night backfired with unforeseen additional work haha. It can really ruin an entire week sometimes.

Nevertheless tonight really reminds me of my Sunday nights in Singapore. I kind of miss them because life was much care-free back then. I have more responsibilities to hold now. But that's life right. Alright I hope you've had a great weekend. Here's to a great second week of March ahead of us!

Terrifying

The past week has been... Bizarre. Pretty bizarre. So many things are happening although things turned out well at the very last minute. I hate to say this but we really are living in a terrifying world. I couldn't believe still, what we encountered in this week. But I don't want to lose faith in the goodness of the world either. I know it's terrifying, but it's beautiful too. Some people are just... Ugly.

I suppose I'm pretty lucky that my intuition has been right and saved all of us, right at the last minute. Like I always believe, and my favourite words nowadays:

In the most amazing fashion, life will always find a way. 

I'm just sad really why these people have to exist. Perhaps if you live life in a righteous way, you won't ever have to do this and you'll live peacefully. But what to do? When greed deludes you like a thick fog that blocks your vision. Whew, what a tiring week. I'm just glad things went well. 

Really short post today, just a mini update. More things to blog about soon!

TIL: Purpose

Last day of the month, another reflection post about things I've learned!

So a few weeks ago, I was just pondering about how different life's definitions are after you left school. For example things like our goals, dreams, "living life to the fullest" and so on. If you're doing what you're doing in school, perhaps they are still kind of the same. Although I'm pretty sure it's not identical. In fact I think at different stages of our lives, these definitions keep on changing. Because they are impermanent. They don't stay the same forever, right? But something is missing for me.

To be honest I don't know what my goals and dreams are now heh. Like perhaps I have learned to live in the moment? So I no longer bother to think about how I want my life to be in the next couple of years. Also I've learned how ever-changing and how drastic life is flowing. I have decided to live life for today. To see what I can do today, tomorrow, next week, next month and so on. 

My mind hasn't and can't sail that far into the future.

Another thing is that I feel in school our goals are more "reachable". Just to give an example, back in school I was just so focused to get good grades so that I can move on to the next semester in peace (keyword: GPA). I'll work hard to do well in exams, to get good grades for my reports/projects and so on. Once I've done that, okay, I'll move on to the next semester. And it goes on.

Perhaps I have other goals too like I want to run some 10K races and I plan my training schedule. I want to travel here and there, do this and that. Goals are kinda attainable easily because I feel like I have the time to work towards them, and it feels like I'm walking on this "paved road".

Not saying that the road I'm walking now isn't paved. They are paved but in a different and crazy kind of paving hah. It can change a lot, and change suddenly. So I feel that instead of worrying about not having my goals attained due to sudden "changes", I decided to plan what I can do here, now.

But in life there's something greater than these goals and dreams - it's a purpose. 

Something is greater than traveling around the globe. Something is bigger than the huge-ass dream house we dream about. Something is more expensive than that thing we've been wanting to own. Purpose. I remember seeing that vein-diagram picture about how our purpose is defined as the intersection of four things: the thing we love doing, the thing we're good at, the thing that the world needs and that which we can be paid for. When you think about it, it's so difficult to find the answer!

In fact now I don't know what's my purpose in life. And I think it's dangerous because our purpose keeps us going. It is something that makes us happy to go to bed, and wake up the next day because we're doing it. We don't feel obliged to do it and we look forward to do it every single day. I think it's bigger than passion, because it really keeps us "alive". I think passion is part of our purpose.

Sometimes I feel that I should find my purpose. But finding it is never easy, and it can never be rushed. Some people find it in the middle of their lives, some at the beginning and some at the end. It's like a fine-aged wine. There'll be a time when it's ready to be savoured.

So yeah back to my original point, so far I've been living my life as of today. Seeing what I can do today and in the near future to accomplish my task and "goals". Be it making things better, finishing things and so on. Perhaps while I'm doing this, I'll find my purpose. Oh well, here goes!

Train Ride

 Mondays

(PS: I actually fell asleep and forgot to publish this post last night!)

Today has been such a tiring day. A long day but kinda fulfilling one too. Today I sent my brother in law's mum to the airport with him. She's flying back to Ukraine after a month here! Time flies really, didn't feel like a month at all. But before I met them for lunch, I went to see my customer first to have a talk with them. Also he's been asking me to visit his shop in Jakarta haha. So I actually went to Jakarta at 5 in the morning via train. Yup, from my hometown to Bogor, then to Jakarta.

I was quite annoyed because I don't know why I couldn't fall asleep inside the (super comfy) train. I was wide awake throughout the journey, probably slept for like 5 minutes or something heh. Then I reached Bogor at 7 AM and I went to the commuter line (the train that runs through Jakarta to Bogor) to meet one of my workers who took me to my customer's shop. The commuter line was so full. I stood up for the full 1.5 hours journey from Bogot to Juanda eeeeep.

Met with my customer, talked and chatted a bit, and then my brother in law reached the shop to fetch me. And then we went to have lunch before going to the airport. Then we bid farewell :( She must be sad to leave her grandson! She'll probably be back next year winter again so yeah. I hope she's well and healthy always! Although I can't talk to her as she can't speak English, she's a lovely lady for sure.

Then we went home! So I was awake for about 40 hours with only 4 hours of sleep. Woo!

Alright it's the second last day of February, time for some great music. Lots of them!

Great Music of February:

- Unbound by Asgeir

- All I Had by Louis La Roche

- Dear To Me by Electric Guest

- Saturn by Sleeping At Last

- Silhouette by Aquilo

- You Won't Know Where You Stand by Aquilo

- I Know A Place by Muna

- End of Desire by Muna

- Say Something Loving by The xx

- I Dare You by The xx

- Division by Tycho

- Horizon by Tycho

Songs of the month: Unbound by Asgeir and I Know A Place by Muna

Right, all of the albums that are released in January finally arrived hahaha. Let's begin with All I Had, Dear To Me and Saturn. I found all of these songs via YouTube as always, on my recommendation tab hah. Okay except for All I Had which I discovered from Majestic Casual. I really love the synth and rhythm for All I Had. It's super catchy and just a great song to listen to. Loving the 90s vibe from Dear To Me, and I'm so excited for their new album! As for Saturn, it's such a great song to reflect to. The lyrics are so beautiful and the video, wow. One of the most beautiful music videos I've seen.

Finally received my copy of Aquilo's debut album and I really love it! I'm considering to get its vinyl now haha, hopefully the local record store have it here. I love the feel of the whole album. I think it's well produced and just everything about it is great I think. And also Muna's album which arrived a few days after Aquilo's! I feel it is probably the best album released so far this year. I am so happy for the three wonderful ladies, whose music is so inspiring and uplifting. 

The xx new album is amazing as well. Although I discovered them like way later from their debut (in 2014 I think), I know that they are quite famous in the electronic scene. So I was feeling pretty excited when they announced that they are releasing a new album. I think this album is quite different from their previous but it still has their signature which is what I love about them!

And last but not least, really loving Tycho's new album Epoch! Although the album was released digitally last year, I decided to get it after the physical formats are released. Tycho is one of my favourite ambient/electronic musician because his vibes is really one of a kind I feel. I feel so lucky to have discovered his music playing in a cafe back in 2013 heh. I think his music feels "bolder" in this new album than the previous. It's a great album nevertheless, definitely grammy-nomination deserving.

Right that's all from me! So many great music this February! And more to come in the months ahead. February, as usual, feels like a month that never existed heh. It always flies so quickly. Alright one more post to go tomorrow. See you soon! And I hope you've had a fabulous February.

Unbound

I am currently obsessed with this new song by Asgeir. And I am really excited about his new album! Okay I know this song is almost like one month old heh. I already pre-ordered his boxset which is released on 5th May and I am so excited about it. This is the first single from his new album and I'm loving the whole new vibe from him. Although this sounds very electronica, I can still feel the touch of his folk-ness. I hope he won't entirely go into a new direction, cause I really love his first album.

But well I'm still very excited for his new album, no matter the style! :P

Anyway this song was released at a pretty right time for me. Remember the post about happiness? How I was talking about not wanting to cling so much into emotions. And well "unbound" is such a great way to describe how I want to feel. I want to be unbound from emotions.

I was reading an article from the Wild Honey Pie about how the song is about bringing us back to the present moment. Which is really true because of the lyrics "stick to the present", "luck will find me somehow, you know that I will be unbound" and my favourite line is:

"And then why do I worry?
Odds are with me
I am upon my journey
Untied I will be"

I think this is sort of the essential line that tells the song is about living in the moment. Because when we're living in the moment we won't have to be worried. And we will be "untied" to many things along our path. Neither tied to the past nor the future. We won't have to think about whether the odds are with us or not. It truly feels like embarking on a journey without fear. Unchained.

Which is what I've been pondering about. I want to live life fearlessly. I feel it is such a difficult thing to do because well life is life and we're humans after all. We will be bound with fears and worries and other emotions that sort of prevent us from enjoying this journey. Living in the present, often times, is a form of art. Because it is not a methodical way. We have to feel and work things around.

Oh well, I think I need to talk about this fuller in another post. So in the meantime that's all from me. I hope you've had a good week and wishing you an beautiful Sunday ahead! :)