Places We Wander

So I came up with this line last week....

Often times, we let our mind wander
to places it shouldn't be in.
As our ego quietly whispers
"Stay here, this is where you belong"

I was inspired by the idea of meditation. How a lot of times, we let our mind wander everywhere. And the purpose of meditation is to train it so it doesn't run like a wild baboon in Africa. When we are not meditating, we're not really aware of where we our minds are. We let them go everywhere too. Sometimes in places that it shouldn't be in. And I'd like to equate this with suffering. 

And then there are times where our mind arrives in a place it should be in. But we don't want to leave, and I'd like to equate this with desire. A false illusion.

So yeah there are times our mind is in a place it shouldn't be in - when there are other far more beautiful places that it can be in. But as the Buddhist teaching of impermanence goes, these beautiful places don't stay forever either. When we don't want to leave such a place, although we know that it's not gonna last forever, that's when our desire kicks in. If you get what I mean.

At the same time, these places are actually created by our minds. It's like a projection of places that we create for our mind to travel to. Naturally, just like everything else, these places are impermanent. And our ego is trying really hard to keep this place intact, so that our mind can stay here as long as it wants. But as our ego struggles hard, the place dissipates and then we're awake from that illusion.

Have you ever experienced that uncomfortable feeling you get after you're angry about something? Usually you felt it for hours, or even days. This is when your ego is trying to keep this "angry palace" intact inside of you. And it's pretty tiring isn't it. And then after a few days you felt okay again, and you learn to let things go. That's when your "palace" is destroyed and your mind is off to somewhere new.

However when you learn to train your mind, your mind will be equipped with the idea of impermanence. Your mind will know which places to go and which places to avoid. And when your ego tries to convince your mind to stay, your mind naturally leaves because it knows it is up to no good.

We are all great painters on this great canvas of emptiness.

With impermanence as our paint.

And time as our brush.

To be continued!

Mock

 Vegan!

So on Sunday when we were having the 7th month prayer here at home, I posted a photo of a vegetarian braised "pork" dish on my insta-story. And one of my friends sent me a message telling me that these mock-meats are actually unhealthier than real meat, so if I'm a vegetarian cause of health reasons, I should stop eating them and go back to meat. But if it's for animal concern then no worries.

Well it's true. My dad always asks me what goes inside this mock meats, as they look like real meat. Well they definitely don't taste like meat though. All I know is that most of them are made from gluten (seytan). Some are made from soy. For example the braised "pork" is made from soy and konyaku. The fat part is made out of konyaku and the meat is from soy. At least that's what I tasted.

Since they're made out of gluten, they are practically carbs right hahaha.

To be frank I actually don't like mock meats cause they taste weird haha. Except for the ones from Dharma Kitchen which tastes really good. I'm more of a vegetables and tofu kind of guy. I really love veggies. I can't eat without them. I need them in every meal! Haha. So yeah it isn't much of a problem for me. As a vegetarian I'll eat anything, as long as it doesn't contain meat!

But hmm I'm not sure if I agree with the statement that it's unhealthier than meat. Okay maybe those store-bough ones are. Cause you don't know what they put inside. Lots of preservatives perhaps, and colourings and whatever. But if you make your own "meat", I'm 100% it's healthier than meat haha. Not only it does not contain cholesterol, and that it contains less fat, it is also loaded with nutrients!

I don't make my own mock-meats but I like to make "scallops" out of tofu, burgers out of chickpeas/beans, and meatballs from tofu as well. I've yet to make another veggie burger. And how about those beet burgers! They look like meat right haha. But yeah that's what I think.

Someone once asked me why we vegetarians still eat mock-meats. Does this mean that we still miss meat? That we crave for them? Hmm well not for me. To me the idea of eating mock-meats is to tell people that like hey you can still enjoy food without killing animals. It's not that we crave meat. It's the idea that we don't want to eat meat, therefore we go creative to think of alternatives mwahaha.

Some vegetarian chefs are so crazily creative really! Their creations are truly amazing.

Okay this is a really random post about mock-meats haha. Been meatless for 1.5 years now and I'm still enjoying it! The idea of going back to meat has never crossed my mind. I'm even thinking of going vegan soon... I'm not ready for it though haha. Maybe when I live by myself so as to not trouble my mum. But anyway I've been avoiding both dairy and eggs so far! Hope I'll go further <3

Weekend Everyday

I think we should all create a word that describes the moment you go to bed on Saturday night, realising that tomorrow is Sunday and that Monday is coming after that. The moment of despair and sadness realising the weekend is going to be over really soon. Well like I always say, I don't have such things as weekends cause I always have things to do. So I don't feel that bad. But still, a bit sad haha.

I think we should call it Satun - Satur + Sun. It sounds like satan. Like as if the satan is laughing at you as you go to bed, enjoying the despair you feel about the fact that the weekend is ending haha.

I've always believed that we all need a three-day weekend. Say we have a new day called Sarnday. And this should be between Saturday and Sunday. Saturday will be spent winding down after a long week. Sarnday will be dedicated to doing things that we all want and not need. And Sunday is a day where we prepare for the coming week. And on Satuday and Sunday you can do whatever you need to do. Running errands, grocery shopping, whatever. That's the ideal weekend isn't it!

Anyway it was Hari Raya Haji on Friday so we did enjoy a holiday. Holidays here do feel different. The factory isn't opened and the day thus feels slower in a sense. So yeah as I went to bed last night (or this morning, at 6:30 AM to be exact), I did feel a tinge of sadness. Like oh, the long weekend is coming to an end. Another week is coming. Right....

Today was a special day because we were doing the 7th month prayers and so my family gathered together. So it was a Sunday that I looked forward to. And yes, I did feel sad that it's over.

Today reminds me of a long weekend that I once went through back in Singapore. And if I'm not wrong it was Hari Raya Haji too, and it fell on a Friday as well. I remember I pleasantly enjoyed that long weekend because I have finished all my work and I literally have no work to do on that weekend! I enjoyed it pretty much, wasting time away watching TV, going for tea outside, grocery shopping, cooking, my evening run on Sunday. I loved it! And yes, I felt sad on that Sunday night.

But I remembered on that night, I did tell myself that I shouldn't feel sad because I felt so energised by the end of that long weekend because I get to chill. It was indeed a good deserving break. And I also asked myself a question, why do we have to only feel this way on long weekends/normal weekends? Can't we all take breaks at the end of each day and feel similarly good too?

Well of course it isn't fair to compare a long weekend with a regular weekday. Not only the difference is huge (24 vs 72 hours), but also we are much more occupied as well. But I came across that thought, what if we are able to treat everyday like the weekend. Putting aside some time to recharge as we prepare for the new day coming ahead of us. Doesn't sound possible but well maybe it is.

I always have things to do on weekends. So the only time where I get to relax and unwind is Saturday nights. I would spin my favourite records, drink some booze, listen to my favourite music, read books etc. Similar to my dad, his favourite time is also Saturday night. And we both wish we could freeze this time and make it as long as we can. But well time moves on, always.

So yeah I guess maybe we should always try to set aside some time to relax on each day. And try to treat this time as our "weekends" on our weekdays. Perhaps we would feel less sad when the weekends are coming to an end. As always, remember not to be ignorant at the amount of time that we have. Make full use of these 24 hours. Take good breaks and take care of your soul!

Have a great week everyone. May September be supreme!

Nine!

Whew, today marks the ninth year that I've been blogging here! So happy birthday to my dearest blog, can't believe we've been together all these nine years. Thank you as always, for being a friend I can "talk" to and of course, for being a place where I can talk to myself without anyone judging that I'm insane! For being a listening ear and for being a place that stores my memories and thoughts.

Well I'm one year away from accomplishing my goal of blogging for a decade haha. To be honest I never really expected myself to go this far. I suppose it's really the joy of writing that keeps me going (Thanks Mrs Lee!) and also just the idea that I want to write my memories as much as I can.

It's actually quite amazing to see how much I've changed all these years. Please I beg you do not read my first posts LOL. I'm just a young kid with raging hormones back then. From documenting my school life, to reflecting on things and now, simply a place where I write down my thoughts and also document my life. Which is not as interesting as my school life haha. But I still make the best out of it!

I'm not gonna lie but I realised that it's getting kinda "tough" for me to blog as I move forward. Not only that I don't have much to talk about, I also realise I talk about the same things sometimes heh. Which is why I've been including "segments" that I will write every month. From music, to things I learned etc. Apparently I failed badly about my favourite things segment haha. Should include them!

I suppose the fun of it is that I really just blog whatever I wanna blog. And I don't really care whether people read it or not. After all I am the only person who probably reads back my blog. This is like an online journal after all. And I still keep a journal as well. And this keeps me going too!

I used to have that goal of blogging forever but well we'll see about that. As of now I really want to hit my goal of blogging for ten years. After that, we'll see where life takes me. I might not be blogging forever but I will always blog whenever I can. Even if it means once a month. Or once every three months. But I hope not really, I think that defeats the whole purpose of blogging isn't it.

Well I'm just gonna stop here. Once again thank you my dearest Clouds of Sunday (previously Life Symphony) for these wonderful 9 years! Here's to writing more stories in the years to come. As we ride on the vehicle of impermanence that keeps us going. Love you! 

And to everyone who reads my blog once in a while, thank you!

Circle of Life

 

So yesterday, my dad had a muscle cramp on his waist and it was pretty painful. In fact it was so painful that he spent the evening laying on the bed because he couldn't move too much, and that it hurt when he walks. So I spent the evening doing calculations by myself and also taking care of him, putting some hot compress on his waist, and basically doing his usual routine while he's resting.

It dawned upon me how much my parents have grown old. Well they're not -that- old but age is basically catching up on them. Body aches became a routine for them, and evidently, it takes longer for them to recover from flu etc. Which usually takes a shorter time, as long as I can remember.

Well no one can escape from the force of time. We will grow old eventually too. It's just pretty bittersweet to see this happening right now. I mean yes I spent most of my time with my dad and my parents. I've been cooking/heating up dinners for them and so on. I also realised how I've been holding them as they walk and I become wary when the floor is slippery, when the weather is cold etc.

Which reminds me - that all of these worries are the worries that my parents used to have when I was small! Or actually even until now haha. Which then brings me to a thought:

"One day our parents will become our children"

I realise how much I've been nagging at my parents, instead of the other way round (no actually my mum still occasionally nags at me too haha). Simple things like reminding my dad to wear jacket when we're going out (cause the weather is pretty chilly these days). Reminding my mum not to eat too much spicy food cause it'll give her gastric. Warning my dad that the floor is slippery, holding his hands as we're walking. Closing the window when my mum is sleeping cause it can be cold, and so on.

All of these, are things that my mum always nag at me when I was young (or till now). 

So in one way or another, we'll come back to where we begin. It's really the circle of life I guess? Or it's just the idea that we are repaying the deeds of our parents, as they took care of us when we were young. One day our parents will become our children. The question is, 

can we treat them as our children, like how they treated us as theirs?

Oh yes PS: My dad's doing much better today.

Do It Again

Hello! It's the end of August again and lets talk about the great music I discovered in this month. Well there aren't many but some of them are really good. Lets get into it.

Great Music of August:

- Do It Again by Trevor Something

- Summer Love by Trevor Something

- Enjoy The Silence by Trevor Something (Depeche Mode Cover)

- Mysterium by Hammock

- I Would Give My Breath Away by Hammock

- Now and Not Yet by Hammock

Song of the month: Do It Again by Trevor Something

Yup I just discovered one new artist today and he goes by the name Trevor Something! I chanced upon him after discovering his cover of Depeche Mode's Enjoy The Silence which is really good. Well I thought there won't be any "justifiable" cover but whew his cover is so good. So I dug more of his music and I'm so loving the synths! Do It Again is definitely a favourite of mine.

Hammock surprised me last month when they announced that they will be releasing a new album in August! It was rather a surprise cause they just released their previous album last month, which is one of my favourites from them. Mysterium is kind of a different direction from Everything and Nothing. But this album is so.... Beautiful. I can't really describe their music, but to me it is the music that you want to listen to if you want to question about your existence in life haha. It's heart-blowing too.

Yup just a short post regarding some new music! Most of the albums I've been anticipating in 2017 have been released haha. So yeah I was feeling a bit "sad" to know that summer is coming to an end. But then more surprises along the way! For example Alvvays is releasing a new album next week, and Yumi Zouma as well! Also I think Sam Smith has something in store as well. And PREP! Saw their instagram and they're mixing the next EP apparently. I am so so excited. 

Alright that's all for now I guess. Seriously can't believe we're left with 4 more months of the year!

Film and Festival

 Summer! Shot with my Skina SK2000 on Lomo800 film

So I decided to bring my film camera to We The Fest 2 weeks ago, and well I learned that it was both an overambitious act and also a good decision! Haha. Okay well I've tried doing this when I was in Singapore at Neon Lights last year. And I think it was a good choice because I actually enjoyed the festival more, with less time spent on looking at my screen seeing if the shot I took was good or not.

Which was the same case at WTF! All I did was frame, shoot and pull away the film to get ready for my next shot. Also knowing that I only have 36 exposures made me think a lot about the photos. I didn't happily fire away the shutter haha. But this also brings a bad point.

 Stars and Rabbit

That is I have a lot of blurry shots! Well I did use an ISO800 film. Outdoors (like Stars and Rabbit set) was shot in 1/100 speed. But apparently I still have a lot of blurry shot. And then indoors (Bottlesmoker, Shura, Gryffin) was shot a bit slower, but thanks to the awesome lighting, I manage to snap a few nice ones. So yeah I reckon that I was a bit overambitious to shoot in film.

 Love this shot of Shura!

Nevertheless I really enjoy the process. Shooting film helps to really make you enjoy the moment, whatever you are doing and wherever you are. Digital is also nice because you get to shoot a lot of shots and you're ensured that you'll manage to snap a few good ones. Back in Cambodia, I didn't know that my Sony A6000 has a lousy battery life. So I had to use my film camera to shoot in some of the temples that I visited because I was preserving the battery for the sunset photos in the evening.

 Try going to a music festival with a film camera!

And during those moments where I shot with my Canon Prima, I kinda feel that I enjoy the time more. I get to bask in the temples surrounding more I guess. Cause all I did was shoot and put my camera away. And more things to see, more things to feel as well. I'd love to one day travel with only my film camera. Now that I have a reliable developer here in Bandung (shoutout to Hipercat Lab!).

Alright that's all for today. I recommend you to try going to a music festival/travel with a film camera!