In 2014...

It's the dawn of the last day of the year, and I think it's a pretty awesome time to write about how my 2014 went. I must say it's been an exciting year. I have definitely learned a lot, and grown a lot this year, as a person and as an adult I suppose. I am thankful to have gone through this year in health and safety. Thankful for the lessons I've learned, and definitely excited to know what's in store in 2015.

Here goes.

 My one-day old nephew back then!

In 2014 I officially become an uncle with the arrival of my little nephew. Although I used to tell myself how old I feel now that I'm an uncle, it feels okay actually. But it feels great too, to finally be one. My nephew is now a healthy 11-month old baby who's turning one year soon in January. I can't wait for him to grow a bit bigger so that we can play together. I can't imagine his energy though. He is not able to speak and walk yet, but his energy is really huge. So yeah, gonna be interesting

The newly-wed and her siblings

In 2014 I have a brother in law as my sister got married in February! It's pretty much an exciting event too, to finally see my eldest sister getting married. Although the house felt kinda empty without her, and that I still miss her at times, I'm just happy for the two of them! :)

2014 marked one year since I left Singapore. In this one year a lot of things have definitely changed, and I have also learned a lot of things. I lost some and I gained a lot. Throughout the year, as it goes by, life just gave me reason after reason to why things work out in such a way.

"The Tibetan word for body is lu and it means something we leave behind"

In 2014 I came across The Tibetan Book of The Dead And Living by Sogyal Rinpoche, and I am very thankful to have come across with this book. The book that taught me a lot about life and it has definitely changed the way I see about life, a lot. I discovered a sentence that changed my life forever, that to me is the quintessence of life. And it goes like "The Tibetan word for body is lu and it means something we leave behind".

In 2014 I started meditating everyday after I finished reading the book. I am convinced that meditation is the best way to train our minds. Our mind is huge, limitless and boundless. Meditation is a way in which I can explore these areas that we haven't touched before. And I did feel different after I start meditating. I cling to emotions less, and I am calmer and more peaceful. Although I am very far from being a "pro" and as I learned from the book, there is no end to this practice. Meditating is definitely a new habit I'm going to carry on into 2015, and more years to come.

Iceland is beautiful

In 2014 I fulfilled my dream of traveling to Iceland. I embarked on my dream trip on the last day of July and it is definitely a trip I will never forget. To be on the country you've always dreamed of going is definitely something so surreal and just amazing. Although I wish I can stay for a month there (instead of a short 5 days), I enjoyed myself fully and that is what mattered the most. Also, I had the chance to transit in Helsinki, which is a city I've always wanted to visit too.

One of 2014 resolution done!

In 2014 I took part in the Jakarta marathon 10K race, which is also a 2014 resolution. Although I didn't get to beat my personal best, it truly felt good to be back on the road again, running my heart out. And I am planning to make this a yearly event and hopefully, I can also join the Bali Marathon.

White Shoes and The Couples Company at RRREC fest

In 2014 I caught a lot of my favourite musicians whom I've always wanted to see live. From Empire of The Sun in February, L'Alphalpha and Weish in October, White Shoes and The Couples Company in November, and recently, Chvrches a month ago. Watching my favourite musicians live never fail to inspire me. Though I may seem like a dreamer, they always remind me why I love music so much, and they never fail to make me hold on to my dreams and love of performing in front of a crowd too.

In 2014 I started a project called Project365 - 2014. A project in which I take pictures every day of the year. I am currently on my 364th photo and I can't wait to conclude this photography journey of mine. The project serves as two purpose for me - firstly, it is for me to keep on doing what I love doing in this year, although I don't do it for a living, and secondly as a visual diary for me. But through this project I have also learned to see beauty in everything. And that we have such a wonderful beautiful life seriously

2014 is the year with the least failed resolutions for me! The reason? I have very little resolutions, and I make sure I work towards them. To everyone, don't make bombastic and ridiculous resolutions for the coming year. Just have a few, but make sure you do them all.

Embrace yourself, because no one else will

In 2014, I have come to terms with myself, and accepted who I am.

If I can describe 2014 in one word, I would describe it as a serendipity. And if I can sum 2014 in two words, I would call it a "serendipitous epiphany". It is the year in which I learned a lot about life through the little things that happened to me. The events, experiences and ordeals I went through, have definitely taught me little lessons that peak into a beautiful mountain.

I wouldn't say 2014 was an amazing, fantastic and fabulous year. But I wouldn't say it is a horrible one either. I'll just call it a great and nice year. I have learned a lot, fulfilled my dream, and I hope, have become a better person than who I was in 2013. There's so much a year can teach you, so much a year can do to you. I am eager to know what I'm going to learn in 2015.

I told myself that I want to make 2014 a year of a better change, back when it started, since 2013 was a year of change for me. Well, I feel I have fulfilled this wish of mine :) 

On the other hand, I think the world has suffered enough this year. From Ebola, 3 major airline disasters, devastation in the middle east, and so on. I hope 2015 will be a better year for the world. And for more years to come. It saddens me to think back to all these incidences.

Alright. That's all for this year. Thank you 2014 for the lessons you have taught me, for the serendipity you have given me, for the memories I will never forget, and for everything else. It's been a great journey with you and I'm now moving to a new year. I'll carry whatever lessons you have taught me into 2015, and I will make 2015 a better year. And remember that you are a part and a reason to why 2015 is going to be a better year,

so thank you for that.

Body

 "The Tibetan word for body is lu and it means something we leave behind"

- Sogyal Rinpoche-

This will be my last "best of 2014" post before I do my huge recap on the year. And it's gonna be a special post, about probably the greatest lesson I learned this year.

Similar to the previous post, I came across this "lesson" from the Tibetan Book of The Dead and Living by Sogyal Rinpoche. In fact this lesson is nothing but merely a sentence I came across with, that changed my life forever. It changed the way I see life, and everything. This sentence blew me away really. Alright here goes that sentence which I came across in the book:

"The Tibetan word for body is lu and it means something we leave behind" 

To me this sentence is the quintessence of life. The epitome of life. And it's the only reason to why we should live our life to the fullest. Sometimes we forgot that after we die, we literally carry nothing with us. Even this body that we've been living in forever, is going to be left behind. No memories, feelings, thoughts and emotions will be carried with us. All, disappear into the abyss of life.

However most importantly this sentence drives me a lot, not just to live life to the fullest. 

Before I die, I want this body to see the great sights of the world. I want this body to listen to the great music of the world. I want this body to speak the greatest words of the world to other people. I want this body to taste as much great food as ethically possible. I want this body to write the greatest words and stories for other people to read. I want this body, to experience great things, as much as possible, before I live this body behind.

Most importantly, I want this body to be kind to other sentinent beings. I want this body to help other sentinent beings. I want this body to relieve as much sufferings of other beings as possible. I want this body to be of great use to other beings as possible. I want this body to give as much compassion as possible to this world. So that when I leave this body behind, I know this body has fulfilled what I want this body to do. I know that this body has done a lot of good deeds in this life.

Which leaves me to the next great question: who is this "i" we are talking about?

Meditate

 Our mind is like the sky. 

Free, boundless, limitless

One of the new habits that I started (or more like took again) this year is to meditate. After reading "The Tibetan Book of The Dead and Living" by Sogyal Rinpoche, I am just so convinced to start meditating again. I used to meditate on a daily basis in 2011 for like a month heh. And in 2012 I meditated only when I want to. After reading the book however, I realised that my technique was wrong.

So before reading the book, I thought we're supposed to empty our minds when meditating. And I realised how difficult and annoying it is to do that, cause the more you "try" to empty your mind, the more it will be filled with thoughts. After reading the book, I learned that we're supposed to let go of our thoughts. Instead of trying hard to get rid of them, just let it rise, don't cling onto them, and let it go. And yes, this is much easier, and somehow naturally your mind will be "empty" too.

When I mean empty I don't mean it figuratively. From the book, I learned that the mind is like a body of water. When we have so many thoughts and emotions inside it, this body of water is like a stormy sea. Moving, ravaging, shaking and just pretty much uncontrollable. But when we meditate, this body of water is like a small lake on top of a mountain with no winds blowing. Very still, very quiet, very peaceful. And the more we meditate, the more often our mind will become still like that lake, instead of a stormy sea. And the more we can see things clearly and solve problems clearly too.

I watched a Buddhist documentary back in 2012 during the THIS Buddhist Film Fest in Singapore called "Your Mind Is Bigger Than All The Supermarkets In The World". It is from there that I learned how big, limitless and spacious is our mind. And how much potential it has, when we are able to train them. And I can't agree less when the book says that meditation is the way to train our mind.

I've been meditating for almost 5 months now, everyday, or at least 6 days a week. I followed the book's method of meditation closely and... I did feel a difference. One of the biggest differences I feel now is that I don't cling on to emotions and thoughts. I used to feel annoyed by things for DAYS. Now the feeling can disappear within hours. I used to feel angry by little things but now I feel less anger controlling me. And another difference I feel is that I'm calmer throughout the day.

To be honest you just feel different. I can't describe this feeling, but who I am now, after meditating everyday, is definitely a different person than who I was before. You can try it out for yourself. Try 5 minutes a day, then 10. Now I meditate at least 15 minutes a day. Quite an improvement I suppose. And I am definitely carrying this habit forward to 2015, and more years to come.

And also, meditation is sometimes (or most of the time) the only time in the day when I feel most serene and calm. I couldn't remember what I think, feel and experience during meditation (well since my mind is empty) but I could remember how peaceful I feel during meditations.

As Sogyal Rinpoche puts it: "In meditation be at ease; be as natural and spacious as possible. Quietly sitting, body still, speech silent, mind at peace, let thoughts and emotions, whatever rises, come and go, without clinging to anything."

I've always believed in the Buddha's words "Your mind is everything, what you think you become. With our thoughts, we make the world". I've always believed that our mind is the most powerful thing in the world. Whatever you do to it, will have an effect to you and your life. It is big and limitless, and we are yet to explore a tiny bit of it. It is like the sky, boundless and free. And when we meditate, it is when we are exploring this boundless part of the sky. We are truly free when we meditate. I feel free when I meditate. Free from worries, free from thoughts, free from emotions.  

Well I recommend everyone to make meditation a part of your daily life. You will feel the difference it makes. and I think your mind will thank you for it.

Prayers

I was feeling deeply in shock when I woke up today to the news of the missing QZ8501 flight from Surabaya to Singapore. It is the 2nd of such incidence this year and it is terrifying to hear. I hope that the plane will be found, and everyone is safe and sound. It is just saddening really. But I am also thankful for the assistance lent by Singapore and Malaysia in the search for the plane.

As someone who used to fly a lot (between Singapore and Jakarta), hearing news of airplane disasters always shocked me. Especially now when the incidence happen to my fellow countrymen. Perhaps this year is not the year for the aviation industry. Flying is one of the safest form of transportation but well, no one can predict the things that are going to happen.

I'm really hoping to hear (positive) news regarding today's incidence.

And I'm still praying for the safety and well-being of the crews, passengers and their families.

Take care everyone.

Stay Gold by First Aid Kit

Today I'm gonna talk more about my favourite song of the year, and it is Stay Gold by First Aid Kit. This song (and the same-titled album) was released in June this year and I fell in love with it instantly! I discovered First Aid Kit last year, thanks to Jango haha. I think the sister-duo, Johanna and Klara, has one of the most beautiful voices in our time. I think that their voices are very unique, and definitely not a lot of people can sing like them. I discovered them from their song "Emmylou" and well, just fell in love.

So when they announced that they're releasing a new album this year, I was pretty excited and I couldn't wait for it. Although it is very saddening that I couldn't get a physical copy of it till now. HMV Singapore didn't have it, and let's not talk about CD store here hah. But anyway gotta thank Candy for helping me buy their album in Australia! And she found it :D Can't wait to get a hold of it!

Stay Gold is definitely my favourite from their new album. I love everything about it. The melodies, the harmony, the feel, and most importantly the lyrics of the song. To me Stay Gold is a song about hope in times of uncertainties. The lyrics goes like Oh I wish for once, we could stay gold. I think "gold" here refers to us being strong, brave, great and awesome all the time, despite the situation we're facing.

The first verse goes like:

The sun shone high those few summer days
Left us in a soft, wide-eyed haze
It shone like gold, it shone like gold.
But just as the moon, it shines straight
So dawn goes down today
No gold can stay, no gold can stay

The first verse talks about the great and hopeful days in life, basically the "awesome" days where we feel like we can do anything, become anything and our future shining brightly. But then in these days we seem to forget that our days don't stay like this forever, that we'll get "visited" by the not so bright days when we are filled with doubts and worries - Our days will not stay "gold" forever. 

I love the chorus especially, which goes like:

What if our hard work ends in despair?
What if the road won't take me there?
Oh I wish for once, we could stay gold.

The chorus to me talks about uncertainties, and the wish we have to always be hopeful, optimistic and confident about the choices we make in these times. Which is something I was kinda experiencing last year, and sometimes this year. I'm pretty sure we all have dreams and well sometimes we decide to take another path which is of a different direction from them. But we are always hopeful that one day this path will still take us to our dreams, or at least the life we always wish of living.

The second part of the chorus goes like:

What if to love and be loved is not enough?
What if I fall and can't bear to get up?
Oh I wish for once, we could stay gold.

This part talks about those days when we feel like giving up. When we feel like the things we do are no longer worth it, and we should just stop chasing for what we want. And how much we wish we can be remain brightly hopeful like the sun of the summer days.

And then goes the second verse which goes like:

We're on our way through rugged lands
Top of that mountain we wanted to stand
With hearts of gold, with hearts of gold
But there is only forward, no other way
Tomorrow was your hope at the end of the day
And gold turns grey, and gold turns grey

I think the second verse talks about our journey, or life in general. Like how we go through "rugged lands" to reach the "top of that mountain we wanted to stand". How we struggled through life's challenges to reach our goal. And to reach our goal, we can only continue to move forward each day, closer to them. But then we realised that this is not an easy task, that's when "gold turns grey" but hey, we have no choice but to always hope for a better tomorrow. And to get us closer to our dreams.

Last but not least, the bridge goes like:

All of my dreams, they fall and form a bridge of memories, where I can't get back
All of my dreams, they fall and form a bridge of memories, where I can't get back to you

I'm not sure about this part of the song but to me the "you" here refers to our dreams and goals. And this "bridge of memories" is basically the memories of the past, the reminders to why we chase for our dreams in the first place. However... I'm not sure if the lyric goes as "where I can" or "where I can't" get back to you. If it goes where I can get back to my dreams, the bridge of memories is the reminders we have to why we begin chasing our dreams in the first place. And these reminders will then serve as a bridge for us to get to our dreams.

If the lyric goes where I can't get back to my dreams, well sometimes we give up chasing our dreams. And dreams being dreams, when shattered, will be difficult to go chasing it back again.

Well so yep, this is my full analysis of this beautiful song. I hope you like the song too, and I hope this song will be a great beginning and addition for the new year. To conclude, basically this song is all about not losing our hope in times of uncertainties. A song about chasing our dreams without being deterred by the uncertainties in our minds. Thank you First Aid Kit for this wonderful song, a song that carried me through this year and more years to come. I hope you can one day go to Indonesia and hold a concert. I'd love to see you both live one day! Tack!

"Next Time"

My trip to Iceland has taught me that "next time" is one of the most dangerous phrases that you can ever tell yourself. Because most of the time it is almost equivalent to "never going to happen". Go to the places you've always wanted to go, and do the things you've always wanted to go. Because most of the time we live our lives like as if we have another one to continue on to. 

And I'm here to remind you, and myself that we only have one.

Best of 2014 - Moments

It's Christmas day so first of all wishing you a merry Christmas! Today was kind of a busy day for me because I have a visitor coming over. And it was also a rainy day too. I don't really celebrate Christmas but the rain kinda dampens the day's spirit! Ah well no one can control the weather. Plus it's December, can't complain much right. Oh and it was a pretty much cold day as well.

Anyway Christmas day is always an awesome day of reminiscent for me. So for today's post, I'm going to talk about the best moments of this year! From the beginning till now.

Best of 2014 - Moments 

 Great to be reunited again!

I started the year to a great trip back to Singapore to catch SPSB's 37th MD! It was a great trip back reuniting with some of my friends, whom mostly are heading overseas to study, and to reunite with my band mates as well. It felt pretty weird to be seated on the audience seat watching my juniors perform, and to realise we are alumni now. It brought back a lot of memories of my last MD too. Nevertheless it was a great trip back to Singapore! :)

My one-day old nephew, can't believe he's this small back then!

Then shortly after my trip to Singapore, my nephew is born! It was such an exciting time for my family to welcome a new addition haha. And it was also the day I officially turned into an uncle. I'm happy to become one, and I'm glad my nephew is growing healthily (he's turning 11-month soon).

The siblings and their newly wed sister!

February begins with the wedding of my sister and brother-in-law! It was another exciting time too, to see the both of them getting married. The sister whom I've been living together with in Singapore ever since I first went there to study is now married! Although the house feels a little bit emptier without my sister now, but I suppose I have gotten used to it through time. But I still do miss her sometimes.

EOTS live in Singapore. So, alive.

2014 has been a great year of gigs for me too. Kicking off this year was Empire of The Sun in Singapore! I've been wanting to catch them live, because I read of the internet about how much of a pleasure to the eyes (and not only the ears) their concert is. And yup pretty blown away by it. I'm very excited to hear their new album, which I believe is going to be released next year.

I miss you

The highlight of the year is definitely my trip to Iceland, a trip where I finally realised the dream I've been holding on to for years. It was a great trip and I believe I've emphasise how awesome it is in my posts back in August. Sometimes I just can't believe that I went there this year. It feels too good to be true. But well yes I went there, bucket list item ticked off! I wonder where I'll go to next.

Resolution done

After returning from Iceland, I decided to run the Jakarta marathon 10K race. It's a 2014 resolution for me so I have to make it happen. With only about 50 days of training, I managed to finish the race in 1h17m. Not my best timing, but I truly enjoyed the race. It is indeed great to be back running again. I hope I can make this a yearly affair because I truly enjoyed running the race.

L'alphalpha at Soundsfair!

Next on my 2014 gigs list are Soundsfair 2014 in Jakarta (before my marathon) and RRREC fest in the valley a week after that. I managed to catch my favourite Indonesian band L'alphalpha, and also pretty lucky to catch Weish, whom I've been wanting to watch live, both at Soundsfair! 

 WSATCC at RRREC Fest

And to finally watch White Shoes and The Couples Company live is truly a dream come true for me.

Chvrches was so so great

To close off my 2014 gigs is Chvrches live in Singapore too! When the released the news that they're performing in Singapore again (back in August I think) I was just so so happy. I missed them during Laneway this year and it was pretty devastating hah. So glad for them to come back to Singapore and for me to catch them live with Brenda! And and and, we got to meet them too! My life is almost complete seriously hah. Definitely one of the best moments of 2014.

Right, I suppose these are the awesome moments of 2014! We have 6 more days left to this year so who knows I'll have another awesome moment heh. Well, wishing everyone an awesome last 6 days to the year! Let us all end 2014 beautifully, it's been a year, really.