Thirty Two

Oh my goodness, look who's back baby. It's been so long since we both met! Look how much you have grown now. The last time we met, you look thiiiiis small. Now you're so big already! Okay pardon the horrible segue but yes hello, I am back here after 1000 months. Just kidding, uhh lets see it's been 10 months! Almost exactly ten months. And I just decided to pay you a visit.

Well it's been a tradition of mine to blog on my birthday. I was thinking maybe I shouldn't do it, why would I do so if I haven't blogged in ten months right? But hey I do know some people, who blogs once a year - on their birthday haha. Not gonna lie I do feel a bit guilty for not blogging. I didn't even celebrate our birthday back in September last year. It's so weird, cause back then I still had plans for this blog. But all of that didn't come into fruition. So I guess we'll start here.

Lets start with a huge update on life. Nothing much actually, but I did many things in this year. Went to Singapore to see Coldplay back in January. Went for a 3-day meditation retreat in March. Went to Chiang Mai back in May. Finished Level One Abhidhamma from Dhammavihari Buddhist Studies. Currently doing level 2. And yup today I turned 32. That's the gist of it. I'm not gonna bore you with the other little things that happened throughout these 6.5 months. Life's like that I guess.

That's the thing that made me stop blogging. Well first of all I don't know what to blog. I don't wanna bore you with my day to day stuff, and neither do I want to talk about work and stuff in my blog. Secondly I still own a journal, and I've been journaling regularly as usual. Which makes me feel that I don't think I need two "places" to talk and write about. Keeping a journal feels more... Intimate.

There were many days where I opened my blog and started writing, only to have me close the window again and stopped. Because I simply don't know where to start and to write. But I also feel like I think I should start blogging my life's happenings. Just for the sake of memories. Like my trip to Chiang Mai, and so on. Which I thought of doing along the year as we move forward.

It's kind of weird how I used to be a sentimental person. I guess I still am, just not as much now. I used to obsess over the idea of writing my memories down. Posting photographs and so on. But as I grow older I no longer cling onto that idea. For memories I have Instagram. And I also print my photos as usual. I also have my journal. And so on. Funny how I told myself that this blog is where I will put all my memories, a place where I can easily look back on to think about my memories.

Oh gosh now I feel like reviving my blog again.

I thought to myself back last year that even if I do stop blogging, I would at least try to blog once a month. But it never happened. And as I look back I wonder why? Yet I couldn't find an answer to that. I guess you can call it laziness. Or the simple fact that I don't have the time to. As I grow older, now I really treasure my time at night. I usually blog after dinner. But now I use this time to really rest and chill. Listen to music, read books, or journal. Or simply, watch YouTube videos.

I guess it's just our changing priorities. Or perhaps the idea that you just realised how you have "lesser and lesser" time as the years go by. Time doesn't change. It doesn't increase or decrease. But it's the things you put into "time" that made you feel like you have less of that. It's kind of like filling a room with stuff. As you grow older, this room becomes smaller and smaller. So you treasure the space you have left in the room. You don't wanna buy more stuff. You try to clear some space.

I blog simply because I want to write. I don't really wish for people to come and visit my blog everyday and read and stuff. Well I did have the thought of actually going seriously into blogging. Who knows I can make some extra cash! Haha. But year this blog is simply for me, and simply for the people who chanced upon this blog I guess. Which makes me think... I guess my journal is enough.

Anyway back to my point, I will consider going back into blogging. Or at least update you with my life's happenings. If I want to keep this blog as my "diary" that is.

And back to my yearly habit. I don't know what to feel about 32. Today is just another ordinary day and nothing much happened. I went for meditation in the evening with my uncle and... That's it. I know I say this a lot but as I grow older, birthdays become super ordinary that I take it as just another boring normal day. And I'd like to keep it that way. Because what's there to celebrate I suppose?

I guess I just know that I've made it through one revolution around the sun, and that I'm one year closer to death. And this excites me. HAHA. I don't know, I guess I'm excited to see the ending. I want to see how my life unfolds itself. I'm still humbled and amazed by life. The idea that we're here on this floating planet in the middle of nowhere stupefies me. How are we gonna make it out.

Life is pretty weird, I cannot deny that. Being a human is pretty weird. Life is absurd and I want to laugh and enjoy in its absurdity. There are days where life doesn't make sense but I'm still here! It's crazy! Haha. I don't know what I'm talking about. But yes life is absurd.

Alright I guess that's all from me today. I really don't know what to think and talk about this day. About being 32. But just wanna say hello again. Thank you everyone for the wishes, cakes and presents. Hope you are all doing well wherever you are. And... I hope I will see you again soon.

Happy Birthday.

Vegetarian Chicken Rice

So yes this post is dedicated to the delicious grubs I ate when I was in Singapore! I am very happy that in this trip I managed to try all the food I've been wanting to try. Especially this awesome vegan chicken rice in Ang Mo Kio that I've been wanting to try since like 2019 haha but didn't manage to try!

Thunder Tea Rice and beer. A good match, trust me!

To start with I had thunder tea rice with Jeslyn at Lau Pa Sat. Thanks Jes for the treat and for jioing me! The funny thing is that I was actually craving for TTR and so happy that Jes brought me here haha. I love TTR ever since I tried it last year. I think I'm gonna make it a tradition to have them everytime I'm back in SG mwahaha. We also shared a beer tower. And it was like 8% so I got tipsy very quickly haha. But it was a great lunch together with Jes and Leon! Talked about many things man.

After I reached my hotel from Chinatown (that was about 6:45 PM I think) I was using Google Map to see if I can reach the vegetarian chicken rice using public transport. But I realised the stall is closing at 8 PM I think. So I decided to just Grab to AMK haha. It was an expensive Grab but worth it I guess cause I don't wanna miss this chance to have it again hahaha. And also it is super delicious!

BEST VEGETARIAN CHICKEN RICE EVER
33 Vegetarian Food at Ang Mo Kio

All of the vegetarian chicken rice I tried are made using starchy mock meat (or tofu). But oh my goodness this vegetarian chicken rice from 33 Vegetarian Food in AMK is the best vegetarian chicken rice I've tried. The texture is insane, it tastes like succulent chicken rice! I am super amazed by the flavour too cause it's super fragrant as well. I opted for Set A which comes with the steamed chickn and roasted chickn. I gulped them down quickly. I think I will come back again! It's super good.

Finally having Bak Chor Mee after 10 years. And it's vegan too!
Chee Wei Vegetarian at Potong Pasir

Next up for Day 3 breakfast I went to Chee Wei vegetarian at Potong Pasir. I actually discovered this stall from a YouTube video haha. And they sell... Bak Chor Mee! My goodness I haven't eaten this in like probably 10 years and now I found a vegan one?! I'm super blessed haha. It was a delicious bowl of BCM but not gonna lie, it tastes nicer with pork hahaha. Okay the noodle is saucy and delicious but it lacks that oomph. But overall it's a great bowl of BCM. Cause it satisfied by decade long craving haha.

Refreshing Bandung Soymilk from Mr Bean. Brings back memories

On my way to Little India for Syaz wedding I saw a Mr Bean stall at Potong Pasir and wow I miss it too! So I decided to grab a cup of their Bandung Soymilk and wow brings back lots of memories especially my year 3 days where I had Mr Bean for breakfast almost every day hahaha.

Yummy vegetarian food in Syaz's wedding. So good!
Thanks Syazwani! 

Also I'd like to say a special mention to Syazwani for providing vegetarian food! It is a hearty plate of Indian food (which is something I was craving also) and it is so delicious! I wanted to have more hahaha but well I'm meeting Tacy for dinner so better leave some space in my stomach. Thanks Syaz!!

Impossible burger and Impossible Vork skewers at Prive

For Day 2 dinner Tacy and I decided to dine at Prive. They're famous for their Impossible Burger so I had that, and their vork skewer as well. Very delicious! Love the sauce of the vork skewer and the cheesiness from the burger. Tacy had the roasted pork aglio olio and looks good as well.

Veganburg limited edition chickn rice burger!

Last but not least for Day 3 lunch I went to meet Try at Veganburg and tried their limited edition chickn rice burger! It was in conjunction with SG's national day and it was only available till like September I think. It was a delicious burger and love the garlic-ginger sauce and the chili sauce slapped on top of the patty. It was so wholesome and delicious! I hope they can make it a permanent menu haha.

The infamous tea brewing machine at CCSC! 
Had the Dong Ding Oolong Tea

That's all for the food! And I also finally tried Chicha San Chen which is recommended from my cousin and also from the Twoset video haha. Love to see the machine at work! Alright I guess that's all for the grubs I ate in Singapore. Can't wait to go back to try more food and come back to these delicious fooooods. On another note, I'm not too happy about the Rupiah-SGD exchange rate hahaha. But oh well, it's okay to splurge once in a while! :P  I will see you again soon.

Suntory Strong Zero is my new favourite beer now
Also random sugarcane juice from AMK food centre haha

Also PS: You know you're old when you go back to your hotel early to drink beer you bought from 7-11 and then just knock out early haha. I just discovered a new favourite beer!

SG Trip August 2023

Right so here's a post about my trip to SG 2 weeks ago! I actually went back to Singapore to attend Syazwani's wedding. Thank you so much for the invite Syaz and I'm so happy that I got to attend this special day of yours. Can't believe we've known each other for 13 years now, and I just attended your wedding. It felt like yesterday when we both just entered SP haha.

Anyway yes so I went on Friday till Sunday (25 - 27th August). It was a short weekend trip but I had a great time in Singapore! Reuniting with the DBS people and also having great meals with awesome people. Okay this is just a short recap of my trip to Singapore!

Picking baby Leanne up! My goodness I feel old haha

I reached Singapore later than usual at 2 PM. I took a Batik air flight for the first time to Singapore and it was a pretty smooth flight. Also I got this flight at such a fantastic deal of 400k Rupiah (or 38 SGD!). I cabbed to my hotel at Bencoolen, put my stuff down and washed up a bit. I left the hotel to meet Jeslyn and Leon for a late lunch at Lau Pa Sat. So great to meet her again and thanks for the treat Jes!! We had a great catch up and also co incidentally she was picking her daughter (aka baby Leanne) up at a nearby childcare centre. My goodness I feel really old cause it feels like a few years ago when we both went home together from TSS and now I joined her to pick her daughter up. Time flies man.

Anyway after that we went to Chinatown (which I just realised how close it is from Lau Pa Sat heh) to look for some stuff that I want to get to bring back. We went to Yue Hwa and ended up doing some shopping there. Thank you for accompanying me Jes! After that we both parted ways as the day is getting late. So I went back to my hotel. My plan was to try this famous vegan chicken rice at Ang Mo Kio for dinner. I googled and realised it's closing soon! So I Grabbed my way up.

Okay as usual I will be doing a separate post for food haha.

Alright day two (Saturday) was the highlight of my trip as I went for Syaz's wedding! It's the main reason why I came back to Singapore haha. I was waiting for Yingzhi and Minli at the hotel lobby when I saw Rebekah!! Wow we haven't met in a long long time (since 2019 I think?). We both decided to go to the ballroom first. And we met with the other DBS people and we're all seated on one table. Man it feels good to reunite with everyone. Also wow it's been 10 years since we all graduated.

Selamat Pengantin Baru Syazwani and Aidil!
Mini DBS reunion

It's my first time attending a Malay wedding and it was a great experience indeed! It feels so warm and fuzzy inside seeing your friend walk down the aisle. It feels like yesterday when Syaz and I were having teh peng in FC3 and now I'm attending her wedding with our friends. I'm thankful for all of these years of friendship and I just wanna say congratulations to you and Aidil on your wedding! Wishing you both a blessed marriage and great new chapter ahead.

Thank you Reb for the impromptu trip to the National Museum!

After the wedding I was planning to go back to my hotel as I was meeting Tacy for dinner and still had spare time. But Reb and I decided to have an impromptu trip to the Singapore National Museum. It was also my first time there haha. Had a great time looking at the exhibitions and also thank you Reb for the HTHT on the bus on our way there. I had such a lovely chat with you!

Dinner at Prive with Tacy.
Thanks for the listening ears too!

And then I went back to my hotel to get change (wearing batik around humid Singapore isn't fun) and headed out to Raffles City to meet Tacy. We wanted to have dinner at PS cafe but there was a 45 minutes waiting list and we decided to go to Chjimes instead. And we decided to have dinner at Prive. It was a lovely dinner and talk with Tacy! And also thanks for the listening ear Tacy! I'm glad we still keep in touch after all these 17 years (wow I feel old haha).

Back in Mangala Vihara

Anyway yup that's all for day 2. My last day was a very chill day and I really love to keep it this way heh. I finally fulfilled something I've been wanting to do when I'm back in Singapore but never had the chance to all these years; to go back to Mangala Vihara for Sunday Puja! Thankfully I managed to attend the Sunday Puja and wow. It's been 9-10 years? Since I last went here. The temple still looks amazing. And I surprisingly still remember the Paritta haha.

Lunch with Try!

After Sunday Puja I went to meet mas Try for lunch at Veganburg behind MV. It was another impromptu lunch too cause I remember that Try lives in the east so was wondering if he wanna have lunch together. And it was a great lunch indeed! We both tried the limited edition chickn rice burger and it's amazing. Had a great conversation with him too about many things. Great to see you again mas! Hopefully we can meet in Indonesia or my hometown one day mwahaha.

And yup that's all for my trip to Singapore. I went back to my hotel to pick my luggage up and then went straight to the airport. It was a short trip but a very meaningful and fruitful one too. Met lots of people and had a great reunion. Not sure when I'll be back again but thank you for the wonderful short weekend, Singapore and everyone I met! I will see you when I see you.

Intermezzo

Right, so this is a short post that will tell you what's going on with me cause... There's a lot that has happened but I was also sick and I haven't been able to update you! Haha. Okay so here goes.

So I actually went to Singapore back on 25-27 August 2 weeks ago. But when I returned home, I was sick! When I returned on Sunday everything was fine. And then... On Monday I felt my throat to be slightly scratchy. Like just itchy. Then on Tuesday I started having fever and develop cough. And then on Wednesday dawn, I had high fever up to 39 degrees. I kinda panicked cause I was feeling really bad then. And I can't take anything to bring the fever down. So I just did some compress and as usual, spam water, turmeric, vitamin C, and chamomile tea hah.

For the whole of Wednesday I was just having fever that ranges from 38 - 39. On Thursday it went down to about 37.6. By Thursday I started coughing quite badly. It disturbed my sleep! On Friday I thought I was getting better as I woke up with no fever but in the afternoon I started having fever again. We're scared that it might be dengue or typhoid cause the fever didn't come down. Did some blood test but it was negative. I got checked by my dad's friend who's a doctor and he found white spots on my throat. Gave me some antibiotics and some cough medicines. By Monday I was much better.

Okay I also tried this like home remedy with onion and honey. I started taking this together with the antibiotics and cough medicine. So I think a combination of this really helped me to get better.

I didn't get myself swabbed but I don't think it's Covid heh. Well actually a lot of people in Indonesia during this period were sick. And they all show the same symptoms of fever and cough. And the cough never seem to disappear heh (mine was gone by Wednesday, but there's some "leftover" cough still haha). Some say it's contributed by the high level of pollution but that's in Jakarta. My hometown's fine heh. But anyway thankfully no one around me got sick either. From the white spots, high fever and the fact that I got better after antibiotics, I have a feeling it's a bacterial infection.

Anyway I'm back now! So I will go ahead to update on what happened in Singapore haha. I'm so glad I've recovered now. It was not a fun thing to go through this condition especially during the end of the month back in August. When I have lots of things to do and clear. I hope everyone is doing well and is staying healthy! I guess there's a bug going around now. Don't forget your vitamin C and fruits and vegetables. Try some herbal medicines too if you want haha. See you soon!

Returning Home

Happy 78th Birthday Indonesia

There's a piece of news that was circulating back in July about how there's 4000 Indonesians who became Singapore citizens in the past 4 years. Thinking about it, I guess I might be that weird and rare (or maybe not) breed of Indonesian who decided to go back after studying for 11 years 

and even rejected two PR offers.

This year marked the 10 years that I have returned home. And these ten years made me understand why people don't return home. My decision to return doesn't revolve solely on the love of my country (it’s complicated). But back 11 years ago (I made the decision to go back in 2012), I felt that Indonesia needs me more than Singapore needs me (you guys have enough people heh). 

But most importantly, I feel that my parents need me home more. 

Indonesia is not a perfect country and I fully understand why people would rather live elsewhere (and if you have the chance, you should!). But I take comfort in the knowledge that even though the past ten years made me understand why people don't return, these ten years also made me understand why I made the right decision to go home. I guess... You're where you're supposed to be.

I’m sure people like me will find “home” a confusing word. Conflicted by the idealistic life that I once experienced and returning to a place slightly less perfect than my previous residence. But home is home. It may not be a pretty place, there may be other places that are better. 

This world is a beautiful place, but there’s no place like home.

Happy 78th Birthday Indonesia. Jalan kita masih panjang, tapi semoga kita akan sampai. 

Of Kayak and Atolls

Spending my Saturday surrounded by clear blue waters? Yes please

Hello hello hello. I just got back from a wonderful trip last Saturday! It's kind of another impromptu trip but I just went for a sea kayaking trip with Laut Luas Adventure! Okay so back in June I saw the IG story of mas Tiko (who makes amazing artisanal vegan cheese) where he went for a trip with LL. I asked him about it and gave LL a follow. Couldn't make it for their trip in June as I was rather packed, but I found out they have a trip in August exploring Pulau Karang Bongkok (Desa Laguna).

Also on the last week of July I found out that one of my favourite bands hmgnc is having their 20th anniversary concert in Bloc M last Friday too. So I take it that it's a sign from the universe that since there's a gig on 4th August, and the trip with LL was on 5th August, lets just go haha. Oh gosh is 2023 the year of spontaneous trips haha. But I'm glad I went for the trip!

So I stayed a night on the 4th after watching hmgnc. We met up at their basecamp in Pantai Mutiara at 6 on Saturday. There were 8 of us in the trip (excluding our instructors). Left for Desa Laguna at around 630 AM. The island is located about 1.5 hours from Jakarta. When I arrived on the island, I was speechless! Cause it's really beautiful. I know some islands in Pulau Seribu isles are beautiful (from photos) but being there in real life is a whole different thing heh. Also my first time being on an atoll!

There was breakfast and we were briefed about our trips and plans. Then there was warm up and off we go. Okay first of all it's been I think 11-12 years since I last kayaked back in poly so I was trying to get the hang of it hah. Took me about 30-45 minutes to finally get the hang of it. 

I've always wanted to be out in the open sea

So in total we kayaked a total distance of 9.5 KM, visited 2 islands (one was a sandbank). It was a tiring Saturday but a very fulfilling one too! It's kind of a dream come true for me cause I've always wanted to be out in the open sea (but not on a boat haha). To kayak in the wide open sea is an amazing experience. Passing through deep waters, atolls and stopping in sandbanks is a pretty cool experience.

I think one of my favourite experience is passing through atolls. Like that transition from deep blue waters to shallow atolls is so cool heh. I didn't manage to see any sea creatures but saw lots of sea urchins yeeeet. And saw some fished near the shore. The water is super beautiful. Clear blue waters, the sky was blue, I'm surprised this is only 1.5 hours away from Jakarta haha.

Just realised how silent the sea is.
(thank you to our instructor Bayu for this photo!)

Also another surprising thing from this experience is actually... The silence. Okay this should be obvious but I just realised how quiet the sea can get. While I was kayaking all I could hear was the sound of splashing water. Sometimes I hear sea birds flying, or the sound of passing boats or machinese on a nearby island. As for the rest, it was pure silence. It's super peaceful and so lovely.

We kayaked for about 3-4 hours I think. After that we went back to Desa Laguna to wash up and for lunch. Lunch was great (they have this gorengan with bombastic sambal mangga heh). Chatted with a few of the people and I walked around Desa Laguna to see the resort. It's super lovely too! I hope I can stay there one day. And at 3 PM we made our way back to Jakarta. That's all for the day!

Saturday's crew. Thank you Laut Luas Adventure!

I didn't take lots of photos cause it's rather hard to take photos while being in the open sea hah. Thank you to LL for lending me a waterproof phone guard! I was actually searching for it while I was in Jakarta the day before but couldn't find it. Also I brought my film camera for the trip. Will upload the photos when they're developed. But wow who thinks that bringing a film camera to a kayaking trip is a good idea? (me). Ended up taking photos only when we're on shore (or sand in this case hah).

Anyway thank you Laut Luas for the wonderful Saturday! It was an amazing experience and definitely memories that will last a lifetime. Worth the fatigue and being under the sun. Although I stupidly left my cap in the car and only realised it after we're on the boat lol.  If you're interested please follow them on Instagram. Hopefully I can go for another trip with them. And I wanna stay at Desa Laguna too.

Endings // Beginnings

July has been a month of endings and beginnings for me. As I close off a chapter, I know I'm embarking on a new one. Hasn't officially started but it's looming over the horizon. I guess this is what life is? A constant continuation of journeys, endings and beginnings - until death.

But I guess like I believe, everything has an ending but all endings are also beginnings.

I think one of the most beautiful events in life is the evolution of a butterfly. From a caterpillar to a pupa to a butterfly. The pupa may look like something uninteresting and plain, but we know that it's a start of something beautiful. A new stage of life. And as Lhasa de Sela says, birth may seem like a very chaotic process. The breaking of a pupa into a butterfly may seem like an arduous struggle. But we all know that they are supposed to go through this process to step into a more liberating stage.

I guess it's normal to feel overwhelmed at the things that are happening to us in life. But one has to also remember that we don't know which "stage" of life that we are at. No one knows what's next. Perhaps we're all a pupa now, waiting to break free and be liberated out.

I guess it's not easy finding peace in a sea of uncertainty. Let alone finding calmness in an everchanging life - where we don't know where we're heading to next. Which stage are we in now? How will life be? What stage is next? Finding peace in the midst of these questions is a challenge - but not impossible.

And I think this is my biggest lesson of the past 3 years. To find peace in wherever I need to be in. With the knowledge that this is life -  a place of absurdity where sometimes things just don't make sense. Yet I also find comfort that somehow things always fall into place; 

whether or not they fall in places that I want them to fall in to.