Disappointment

Well.. Second day of the week after MST. Some results have popped out, 2 to be exact and.. I/m not happy with one. And that's my lovely Biochem! The module which I think I've put so much effort into, I think even more, and I got my first ever C in my poly life from the MST of this module. It really hits me hard. I was expecting a 30/40, and I got 25.

It's a C. That's the bitter reality of poly. And what made it worst is seeing your friends enjoying their Bs and As. Oh well. I'm not a jealous kind of person. Like those "I hate you for getting an A/B" kind of person. I feel very happy for them, they've done well so yeah. Congratulations guys.

It hit me really hard when Mdm Mah asked me the question "What happened to you?"

And... I asked that to myself as well. What happened to myself? Why did this happen, how did this happen? Where is that old me who always score a decent result and why is there this me where I just pass my paper? 5 marks difference only.

I know people would call me an asshole for thinking that a C is not good enough. Of course I'm grateful enough for a C rather than an D or worst an E. But getting a C is not my target. I want to get at least a B. It's enough to keep me happy. A will be even better of course. But this is a C. It's a result I don't even think of. I didn't expect myself to get a C.

I don't know. Sometimes I feel I've lost that drive, that adrenaline I used to have in secondary school. Or perhaps it's just the studies that are getting tougher, and life is getting more mixed up and confused as well. I guess the older we grow, the more complex life gets and the more tougher it gets I suppose. And life isn't just life alone. Is studies, friends, personal, feelings and more.

It's hard for me to get back up from a setback. Takes me some days, and yeah. But nevermind. I will not let this setback hold me forever. I've did badly this time, next time, I'll do marvellously. Don't let fear become something you fear and an obstacle you're afraid of. Let it be a challenge that you will, and you shall overcome.

I've put so much efforts in Biochem. If something is wrong, then something is wrong. A term had went by, and I've learnt so much from it. There are things to improve. There are things to forget. But definitely, there are things we all should learn of. Lets go.

I'll do better. Watch me.

60 more days to Inner Mongolia OCIP! (2 more months :D)