Sundown 10 KM - DONE
Hello people! Yes I just finished my Sundown 10KM marathon! It's sundown so of course it's a night marathon. The first ever time in my life that I run past 9 O clock so yeah. But it was great! I truly enjoyed running past the Singapore night line though we didn't pass by the flyer, MBS and so on. But nevertheless I loved the run and it was great :)
Well as I once said in my blog (a few days or a week ago) that running Sundown is truly something like defying gravity for me. Not only that I only trained for one month, I have not been running for like 2 or 3 months before that. Tracing back I started running on 29th April. So yup about a month. Along the way I've been feeling afraid that I won't be able to make it and I'll feel really tired and so on.
Well today I proved everything wrong :)
I've been also telling myself that well since I've only been training for one month, it's alright for me to not reach my target (of beating my PB). I was already targetting that a 1h20m is my target or worst a 1h30m. And once again I broke those words and prove myself wrong. So I'm very happy with that. Even though my PB is 1h10m from Standchart, and that this time round I ran for 1h12m, I'm still very happy :)
The thing is I'm not really an avid runner. Not someone who's crazy into running and would love to run fast, beat my PB everytime and so on. Well of course I do want to beat my PB. I just enjoy running. Cause one, I feel that running is an activity where I can forget about life. Just run and be focused about the race. Hit my target, hit my goal and cross the finish line. Life was somehow left behind at the starting line.
Running is something I do to prove myself wrong, to prove others wrong. As you read from above along the 4 months of training I kept on telling myself that it's alright for me to hit 1h20m for this race. And I've been feeling scared and so forth. But hey I did it last night. I ran Sundown and I even ran before the time that I thought would finish my race.
And of course running is an awesome sport I enjoy doing. Kinda funny how I only started to enjoy running last year when I wanted to sign up for Standchart. Then it just becomes something I enjoy doing and then a weekly affair. Then it was Poly50, KK trip, Standchart and now Sundown. More races to come of course!
Of course deep down I'm disappointed that I couldn't beat my PB. I'm sad that well perhaps I could have trained harder, pushed harder during the race, could have done this and that. But it's all over, I may not break my PB but all I know is I've given all my best and I've truly enjoyed my race just now. And honestly speaking, enjoying my race and finishing it are the two things that I want to achieve in my race.
I realised the more I'm worried about time, about the distance as I was running just now. As I listened to my songs I was telling myself "Oh no I've reached this song that means the time is about ____" and when I looked at the distance I've ran I was "Oh my I have __ KM more to go!" And well whenever I have those thoughts in my mind, I'll shut it off and continue running. To an extend I started lip-syncing to the songs as I ran.
The thing is, I learnt not to be bothered so much by the time. By the distance. I want to enjoy running. I learnt from my past experiences that doing things for the reason that you want to enjoy it, for the sake of joy and just because you love doing it, is much more enjoyable. Sometimes we try so hard to be perfect, to do well, to be the best and we totally forgot to enjoy the thing we are doing! :)
I can't imagine running and looking at the time every KM or so, then feeling so insecure and stressed out cause I will feel the need to run faster, or the thought that I've been really running slowly for the past KM and so on. It will feel sucky really (for me that is).
Of course it's important to have a goal or mindset as well. I mean we wouldn't want to just run a marathon for the sake of running only eh? I did have a goal, to beat my PB. I don't really care (keyword: really) about my timing. Because to me every run is just something that I give my best for. Something I will enjoy about and something I will love.
So if at the end of the day I don't run before my targeted timing, I will feel disappointed of course. But I won't be devastated by it. I won't regret and blame myself for not running faster and so on. As long as I enjoyed my race and I gave it all, I will be contented with the result.
You can call me a loser, I guess this is one "loser" part of me. But this is my philosophy to running. It will just be something I enjoy doing, and I love doing. I just want to remain in a part, in a place where running is something I do for joy and not for achievements. Well, of course it is for achievements too.
It's for self-achievements :)
Congratulations to all runners! Don't be too saddened by your timing. Runs like these are just something that tell you there's another time for you to prove yourself wrong. And thus to run faster. And to those who are still running as I'm writing this now, all the best and don't give up! :) Alright going to bed now, see you!
Another race down, many more to go, many more to prove myself wrong. It's alright when others defeat you. But it is when you let yourself defeat you, then you should be ashamed of yourself.
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