Thus Have I Seen (THIS) Buddhist Film Festival

  

Thus Have I Seen

Today was another awesome Saturday! And as awesome as it is, also, a thought-provoking one. Which is really nice though haha, I love being caught in deep thoughts cause of an action, cause of something. But yes, awesome Saturday is awesome. I went to watch 3 more screenings of the THIS Buddhist Film Festival 2012 with Saeyeoh today! They are Angin, Your Mind Is Bigger Than All The Supermarkets In The World and One Mile Above! All great movies/documentaries.

I will write my thoughts of the films I watched today later on hehe.

 

 The autographed CD of Angin! Thanks Dharma in Action hehe

So I met her at 11 today and we went to watch our first two screening (Angin and Your Mind). It was lovely of the director of Angin, Mr Winaldo Artaraya Swastia to come down and have a Q&A session with us after the screening of his movie. And yes he's Indonesian! I'm really proud of him, to have someone who's able to create such a beautiful and sweet short-movie that is really meaningful. And it was even more meaningful when he explained the meaning behind the title Angin (wind).

As a fellow Indonesian I'm curious of course, so I asked him what inspired him to make a movie about Buddhism in Indonesia? And I'm glad to know that well not only there isn't any Buddhist Fictional movie before Angin, but he also wants to share his passion and happiness in showing the teachings of Buddhism. After the movie screening I met him outside and have a chat with him. And wow his father is from my hometown Sukabumi! Haha. And of course I took a photo with him ^^ and I got myself an autographer CD of Angin for the Q&A session (Thanks Dharma in action!)

 Me and the director of Angin, Mr Winaldo!

After watching his movie, it really inspired me to make a short movie as well about Buddhism. Though I'm not a movie maker heh. Or well maybe perhaps a short photography project? So I convey my thoughts through pictures hehe.

Then Saeyeoh and I went for lunch at Seoul Garden. Oh gosh it's been such a long time since I ate there and we had a yummy lunch (and filling one too). Had a good chat and good catch-up as well! :) And so then we make our way back to Lido for the last movie screening of the day, and of this year's festival, One Mile Above by Du Jiayi!

It was such a great movie. Throughout the movie I was just awed in silence for it's awesomeness. It's one of the most beautiful and one of the best movies I've ever watched! So touching, sad but at the same time it's just wonderful... I'm so glad that I got two tickets from the super-fast-selling seats back in August whew. I watched the trailer back at Mangala Vihara when Dharma in Action people came there to give a short talk of the festival. I know I have to watch this one!

After the movie I got myself mooncakes! Thanks to being an M1 user I got 15% off hehe from Marriott! And then we decided to go to a place near Raffles Place, beside the Singapore river to just chill with the evening breeze. Thanks for intro-ing me to that place! It was really lovely and nice. Should go there more often to chill hehe. And yup, that's all for the day!

Right moving on to my thoughts about THIS Buddhist Film Festival.

So basically I watched three movie screenings today, and the three of them are really great movies/documentary to begin with. Angin, as Mr Winaldo explained, is used as a theme of Anicca (impermanence). I think it's a great movie to show how things come and go, that all things are impermanent yes?

Your Mind Is Bigger Than All The Supermarkets In The World (I'll cut it short with Your Mind) is another great experiential documentary too. Though the documentary is just video stills of the director, having a conversation with her meditation teacher in Sri Lanka, I feel that watching it makes me feel like I'm -there- too with them, talking, enjoying the view. Some of the words that I picked up from the docu were really great too.

I particularly like the part where Upul Nishanta said something about living the moment. How true that whenever I do work (say my report), I can't just think of the THING I'm doing now. I'll think of the other parts of my report. I'll think whether it's good enough. I'll think whether Dr Simon would like it or not. I can't just think of the present! The thing I'm doing NOW. And hence yes, it's important to just focus on what you're doing now, rather than just... Keep on thinking of the future and worrying yourself unnecessarily. Live the moment!

And another one is about happiness, and unhappiness. So happiness is when you're able to do what you mind wants you to do. If you're not able to do what your mind wants you to do, you get a punishment which is known as, unhappiness! So yeah, basically it all comes back to the fact that happiness is from within. We create our own sadness and happiness. Less of the outer things that we get or we face. Interesting ya?

Last but not least, about life. The words that ring in my head the most is this. You can use the life to understand about the life. What is it? And also, how life is one huge laboratory where we carry out our experiments. I think it's true how much life is one great journey. And to understand this journey, I think only we can do so. We can't tell people hi this is life. We tell ourselves what life is. Cause though we all live to die eventually, it is our definitions of life that make life so beautiful.
 
Following THIS theme for this year, "Open Your Mind", going to four screenings of the movies showcased really made me open my mind more about my religion, but actually more to life. Especially today's movie screenings. I've learnt a lot and it was just great to learn more. So far all of the movies are thought-provoking. It made you think, and most importantly it made you feel. And I think that is a very important feature of a film.

Thought I wouldn't call myself as a strong Buddhist, I truly enjoy learning its teachings (Dhamma) and also trying to apply it in my life. Though so far, I find it really challenging and yes it's possible of course. I was talking to Saeyeoh today about religion, and well perhaps, some people convert away from Buddhism cause maybe one of the reasons is that they couldn't follow the teaching and find it difficult. Well I heard it from somewhere... Buddhism is not about learning about being a good Buddhist. It's learning about life, learning about yourself.

And to think how complex life can be, you should understand my point, yes? :)

Alright what a long post. To all the organisers and everyone else who made THIS Buddhist Film Festival 2012 possible, thank you very much for your hardwork and dedication! Truly enjoyed the movie screenings I went to. I hope to see you again in 2014 hehe. Thanks for opening my mind, and well here I go saying....  

Thus Have I Seen.

Hair For Hope 2012

 

To all children with cancer

Keep smiling, keep fighting

We're here to fight with you,

To smile with you

To be beside you

Alright as promised I will fill you up on this year's Hair For Hope which I went yesterday! Well I went again today with Nivedha, to take some photos and to meet her for lunch as well. And OMG a photographer took a photo of me with his Leica M9! I was like spazzing just now, me is happyboy92! Hahaha. I hope they will upload it on HFH Facebook page! It's like my first Leica photo.

Anyway yep, this year is my third year shaving for Hair For Hope. It all began back in year one, when I went with Saeyeoh and also Huiting. And then in year 2 more people joined, Victor, Yang Peng, Elton. And this year... I went alone! Haha sad, but it's great to know from my Facebook homepage that there are other people who shaved. Two females actually, a CLS senior of mine and Jeslyn's sister! So brave of these young ladies. SALUTE! :D

 

Salute to this beautiful lady who shaved!

Being my third year shaving... Well I decided to do more interesting stuff. I recorded my shaving process! I'll show you the video below hehe. Took it with my iPod touch and edited it via Windows Movie Maker. It's really fun doing this hehe. And I took a few photos today as well which I hope to share it on HFH FB page so that people can see it.

Hair For Hope has become like a yearly event for me since I signed up for it 2 years ago. I think it's pretty much a symbolic event, not just simply an "event". As I said last year, you have to go through it to feel how symbolic it is (Especially the ladies!). It's more than just shaving your head bald, it's also to morally show your support to the children with cancer.

I guess shaving is the least I could do. Losing my hair is nothing compared to the conditions that they have to go through while undergoing chemotherapy and radiation therapy as well. I know how it feels, indirectly of course, seeing my aunt going through all these. Losing her hair slowly and seeing the pain and weakness in her face at times when she was here for treatment.

 

You're never too old, or too young to shave ^^

Being an adult, I guess she, and the few others have a higher pain threshold and also a more understanding about life. Challenges, accepting the fact, and so on. But children, not so much. They are pretty young and having this disease is not something easy for them to accept. The pain, the conditions they have to go through etc are not something easy to accept.

So this event is very symbolic for us, and for them too. I guess it goes to all children with cancer, not only in Singapore but around the world. This act of "silence" we are going through speaks louder than a thunder of a thousand words to them. Spiritually, morally, though not necessarily physically. I really hope they will feel supported by our acts. Though we're not there physically to tell them it's okay to be bald. Just hope our actions will! (And of course they will)

And not only being a symbolic event, but Hair For Hope is well, I think, an event that taught me lots of things too. Today I bought the book of stories written by some of the cancer survivors, which I can't wait to read! I hope to find a day to just spend the whole day reading it. And so lovely of them to give them their signatures on the book too hehe.

Stay Strong!

One thing I realised about them that I never fail to notice is this - they're a bunch of energetic, bubbly, lively and cheerful kids. At times I think, they went through so much and yet somehow their smile and energy hide away the things that they have went through. So knowing all the people I met just now are cancer survivors, I'm just awed and inspired really.

It's such a pity that well I guess we tend to take things for granted. We tend to give up when life gets tough. We tend to just feel that we're worthless when things get rough. I myself, sometimes, is one of these people. I have to admit I'm someone who's easily stressed. But I don't give up, but I just feel horrible at times when things are going wrong etc and I don't have the motivation to go on.

Having these survivors around me just now is just a reminder for me that we need to live life to the fullest. At times we don't know how lucky we are to have a healthy body up till now. No serious disease has ever struck on us and we are one healthy individual that's kicking-ly healthy. Battling a cancer is not just a "recovery" but is a journey. And these people have went through this tough and arduous journey and I'm really proud of them. Inspired by them. 

Don't just take things things for granted. When life gets tough, you simply give up? When problems pop by here and there, you simply walk away? Then take a look at those survivors. Trust me they went through much worst conditions and times before and did they give up? No. So simply, there is also no reason to give up when things get tough around you too!


So yeah I reckon HFH as not just something symbolic and supportive for children with cancer. But it also taught me so many things I can learn and apply in life as well. If you wish to go next year, I recommend you to go! Haha. Trust me once you go through it I think you'll understand how symbolic it is. I heard some passer-bys at Vivo just now commenting "Why would you want to shave your head for this event?" "Why would people queue up to get their head shaved?"

My answer is there for you to read hehehe.

Okay that's all for now. Here's the video of me shaving this year! Please pardon the weird faces and if it's too soft for you to hear me. I recorded this with my iPod touch so that explains why hehe. Enjoy!



And well my point of view is this. People may call me brave to go for Hair For Hope. But well I don't think they should call me brave. The children with cancer are the brave souls. And because of them, I'm brave too. :)

Sundown 10KM Marathon - DONE :D

 Sundown 10 KM - DONE

Hello people! Yes I just finished my Sundown 10KM marathon! It's sundown so of course it's a night marathon. The first ever time in my life that I run past 9 O clock so yeah. But it was great! I truly enjoyed running past the Singapore night line though we didn't pass by the flyer, MBS and so on. But nevertheless I loved the run and it was great :)

Well as I once said in my blog (a few days or a week ago) that running Sundown is truly something like defying gravity for me. Not only that I only trained for one month, I have not been running for like 2 or 3 months before that. Tracing back I started running on 29th April. So yup about a month. Along the way I've been feeling afraid that I won't be able to make it and I'll feel really tired and so on.

Well today I proved everything wrong :)

I've been also telling myself that well since I've only been training for one month, it's alright for me to not reach my target (of beating my PB). I was already targetting that a 1h20m is my target or worst a 1h30m. And once again I broke those words and prove myself wrong. So I'm very happy with that. Even though my PB is 1h10m from Standchart, and that this time round I ran for 1h12m, I'm still very happy :)

The thing is I'm not really an avid runner. Not someone who's crazy into running and would love to run fast, beat my PB everytime and so on. Well of course I do want to beat my PB. I just enjoy running. Cause one, I feel that running is an activity where I can forget about life. Just run and be focused about the race. Hit my target, hit my goal and cross the finish line. Life was somehow left behind at the starting line.

Running is something I do to prove myself wrong, to prove others wrong. As you read from above along the 4 months of training I kept on telling myself that it's alright for me to hit 1h20m for this race. And I've been feeling scared and so forth. But hey I did it last night. I ran Sundown and I even ran before the time that I thought would finish my race.

And of course running is an awesome sport I enjoy doing. Kinda funny how I only started to enjoy running last year when I wanted to sign up for Standchart. Then it just becomes something I enjoy doing and then a weekly affair. Then it was Poly50, KK trip, Standchart and now Sundown. More races to come of course!

Of course deep down I'm disappointed that I couldn't beat my PB. I'm sad that well perhaps I could have trained harder, pushed harder during the race, could have done this and that. But it's all over, I may not break my PB but all I know is I've given all my best and I've truly enjoyed my race just now. And honestly speaking, enjoying my race and finishing it are the two things that I want to achieve in my race.

I realised the more I'm worried about time, about the distance as I was running just now. As I listened to my songs I was telling myself "Oh no I've reached this song that means the time is about ____" and when I looked at the distance I've ran I was "Oh my I have __ KM more to go!" And well whenever I have those thoughts in my mind, I'll shut it off and continue running. To an extend I started lip-syncing to the songs as I ran.

The thing is, I learnt not to be bothered so much by the time. By the distance. I want to enjoy running. I learnt from my past experiences that doing things for the reason that you want to enjoy it, for the sake of joy and just because you love doing it, is much more enjoyable. Sometimes we try so hard to be perfect, to do well, to be the best and we totally forgot to enjoy the thing we are doing! :)

I can't imagine running and looking at the time every KM or so, then feeling so insecure and stressed out cause I will feel the need to run faster, or the thought that I've been really running slowly for the past KM and so on. It will feel sucky really (for me that is).

Of course it's important to have a goal or mindset as well. I mean we wouldn't want to just run a marathon for the sake of running only eh? I did have a goal, to beat my PB. I don't really care (keyword: really) about my timing. Because to me every run is just something that I give my best for. Something I will enjoy about and something I will love.

So if at the end of the day I don't run before my targeted timing, I will feel disappointed of course. But I won't be devastated by it. I won't regret and blame myself for not running faster and so on. As long as I enjoyed my race and I gave it all, I will be contented with the result.

You can call me a loser, I guess this is one "loser" part of me. But this is my philosophy to running.  It will just be something I enjoy doing, and I love doing. I just want to remain in a part, in a place where running is something I do for joy and not for achievements. Well, of course it is for achievements too.

It's for self-achievements :)

Congratulations to all runners! Don't be too saddened by your timing. Runs like these are just something that tell you there's another time for you to prove yourself wrong. And thus to run faster. And to those who are still running as I'm writing this now, all the best and don't give up! :) Alright going to bed now, see you!

Another race down, many more to go, many more to prove myself wrong. It's alright when others defeat you. But it is when you let yourself defeat you, then you should be ashamed of yourself.