Conversations

So just now, I had a "conversation" with my ancestors. No I didn't become possessed nor did I leave my body to see them haha. Well so in Chinese tradition, we do have a way to "ask" our ancestors. Especially during prayers where we ask them if they've "come", or if they've "finished eating". But we can also ask them questions. If we're really at a dead end. But the catch is, it's a yes-and-no question.

We have this two wooden object that is shaped like the crescent moon. One side is flat and the other is curved. We toss these two objects. If both of them is sided oppositely (one flat and one curve) it's a yes. If both of them is curved, they're angry, if both flat, they're laughing (basically, no). So we can't ask "what do you think of the future?" because they won't be able to give an answer.

Thankfully it was an affirming conversation. When the answers are not what you hoped for, sometimes we'll think about it and it can be quite worrisome for us. This method is also used in temples where people can ask deities questions too. It's the same principle. Some people don't even use that two wooden objects but they simply use two coins. And it's the same principle as well.

I know people call this form of practice ancestral worship. To me... I don't think we "worship" our ancestors. To me it's really a form of teaching to always respect your elders and a reminder of where you come from. Like my mum always say "You don't come out of a rock do you". I haven't met my grandfather, and my great-grandfather and so on. I feel lucky that we have a picture of my great great grandfather who's from China. We don't even know their name and what they do!

Do I believe in spirits? Yes. Although I'm a Buddhist and I believe in reincarnation, I still believe that the spirits of our ancestors are still here. They're watching and guiding us from somewhere else. Both my grandparents are Buddhists so well perhaps they've been reborn into another life. But their "spirit" are still with us. There are a few instances that lead me to believe this.

I can still remember this very very clearly. When I was really young, there was once when I woke up at like 3 AM. Back then I still sleep on my mum's bed with her. That time at 3 AM, I saw a man sleeping next to me. He was wearing a blazer and was still even wearing his shoes. He has a short hair that is balding. I thought I was dreaming, but I could hear the sound of the TV and cutleries clattering onto plates (my parents eating. The next day I told my parents and they were shocked. 

The first person that came to my dad's mind is my grandfather, according to my description of the clothes the man is wearing. So.... Yeah. I wasn't creeped out or anything. I was awed. 

The next incident was 100 days after my grandma passed away. In our tradition we do prayers 3 days, one week, ten days, one month, three months (100 days), 6 months and one year after someone passed away. Back then I was already back in Singapore for my grandma's 100 days prayers. The night before the day, I actually dreamed of my grandma. She was just standing there staring at me.

I called my mum the next day and told her about the dream, and she just told me straight away that it was the 100th day prayer for my grandma that day, and they just finished with it. I was so shocked again! Haha. My grandma must have come to visit me for that special day :P

Last but not least, there's another event. So in 2014, during the Chinese New Year prayers, my nephew was allowed to go back to my brother's house after his birth. My mum and aunties went to fetch him and my sister in law at the hospital. It was 2 PM and the joss sticks were burning out. So I went to ask my ancestors if they're done eating and we can get the food out. I tried three times, they said no. I asked my aunt to do it and it was no too. I was quite worried so I called my dad.

He did ask the same question but he told them that like well don't go away first because my grandson is coming home. And after he said this, it was just one try hahaha.

Of course, like everything in life, we can regard this as co-incidences. But these things made me believe that they are here somewhere. We can't see them, we can't talk to them, but they are there guiding and protecting us. Like Timber Hawkeye said in hsi book Faithfully Religionless, some things don't always need an explanation. We can celebrate everything that's happening in our lives.

Alright that's all from me. Hope you enjoyed reading this insight!