In 2016...

Looking back....

As usual, it's the dawn of the last day of 2016. 366th day of the year, here we are finally.

Whew, twenty sixteen. I don't even know where to begin. This year has been such a whirlwind, a wonderful ride. I always enjoy looking back at the past year but not in this year. It's funny though how when we had a challenging year, we won't call it a good year nor a bad year. We won't call it good because of the challenges but we won't call it bad because we pulled through everything.

2016 is the busiest year that I've ever went through. We had an expansion at the farm, and we opened a new shop. I am still helping out at the factory and at the same time, I am helping out at the printing shop. I am quite proud that I managed to pull through everything this year. I've definitely learned a lot and I'm happy that I did. The challenges that I faced have shaped me as who I am today.

I used to be able to do whatever I want after dinner time. I would go back to my room, meditate, and then do whatever I want. Be it blogging, watching YouTube videos and so on. But not this year. There are always things to do, and most of the time I'm left with only one hour of "free time" before I go to bed. Well like as if there's a lot that I like to do, but it just feels so bizarre how busier I got this year.

But through this busy times, I learned a lot about finding the rhythm in life. What I don't like, I will change. And I will change until I found the right one. Just by simply changing your time slots and working habit can make a huge change. And by spreading your workload, you'll really feel the difference. I think this is what being adult is all about. Prioritising, and just making sure that you'll get work done and at the same time, you get some break too. No longer doing everything on impulse.

2016 tests my patience, or our patience a lot. I feel that throughout the entire year, we're being put in a situation in which there's nothing, I mean literally nothing, we can do but wait. It is a very horrible situation to be in because we're humans after all. We cannot predict the future and most of the time when we try to predict them, we ended up suffering instead. Because it may not turn out to become what we want. And this doesn't relieve any suffering but actually add more to it.

Which is why the biggest lesson I learned from 2016 is to really hold on to emptiness. To see everything as it is, without twisting, adding and reducing any facts to it. I've become a much happier person because I managed to not add any other unnecessary sufferings. Or at least... I've become a more neutral person in most situation. Where I know that I won't have to feel happy nor sad about things. Which may cause more unnecessary sufferings to myself. It is weird really.

And through this whole period of waiting I learned to never give up on your hope. Remember that we can always meet with an ocean of disappointments, but never lose a single grain of sand of hope.

I have also been financially struggling in this year. Not in terms of my own personal money but the business. I'm not sure if this should be considered a wrong move, I was helping someone after all. But at the end of the day life will always find a way. Although it was a pretty financially challenging year, somehow somewhat I always get help. In the most surprising way! I remember how in June I didn't even have enough money to pay the electricity bill of the farm. But out of a sudden my customer just transferred me his payment and I'm saved. Angels in disguise, everywhere!

Which brings me to the next lesson I learned. That kindness and stupidity are two of compassion's greatest children. Treat them with sincerity, and their mother will take care of your. 

But at the same time I also learned that it is important to be ambitious. But it's more important to be ambitious within your limit. Screw those people who "encourage" us to forget about our "limit" and that we should have limits as high as the sky, or even the galaxies. We are humans. In Islam there's a term called ajal which means limit. We all have our own limit. And it's good to know them.

Through the adversities I faced this year, I've learned a lot about living in the moment. I have changed my definition of it. I have learned to be happy wherever I am. To celebrate every moment and savour every breath that I have. Celebrating times of triumph and the lessons I learned in times of adversities.

I've learned more about the art of happiness. How we should all be happy because really, at the end of our lives we'll all be laughing at the amount of time we wasted being unhappy! So be happy, because one day we will no longer be able to. Be happy because one day everything will come to an end.

But after two years of doing meditation, I've found something more important than being happy. It is to be mindful. To be aware of our feelings, our thoughts, our speech and our action. This is why I don't want to be the happiest person in the world. I want to be the most mindful mwahaha.

And without the need to explain again, this year I've learned that I can definitely live without meat.

Well alright alright, 2016 is a challenging year. But there are wonderful things that happened too. My Tibet trip and the birth of my nephew whom we've been waiting for a long time heh. 

My trip to Tibet in April is truly the most amazing journey I've embarked on in my life. Not only that Tibet is inside my bucket list, but the things I did and the sights I've seen, in that short 10 days is truly a life-changing experience. A spiritually enlightening and liberating experience, an adventure of a lifetime. The devotion, compassion and resilience of the Tibetans will stay with me forever.

Also I managed to see Mt Everest how cool is that!

Whew, to be honest as I'm writing this right now. It feels very overwhelming. Emotionally, psychologically and in every aspect. 2016 has been such an arduous journey but I am happy and proud that we pulled through it. I thought 2012 was a tough year but here comes 2016!

But like I said on the last day of 2015 (fuck that's 366 days ago!), I believe that every year is the best year that we are going to have. Just like how we only have one life. There will only be one 2016. Although I have faced a lot of challenges this year, I knew at the end of everything I have learned a lot too. And they have definitely left a positive impact on me, and hopefully make me wiser.

Every year, we have to get better. No  matter how small or big our progress is. We only have this life, and this year. So let's change for the better. Don't let anything bring you down, learn from your mistakes, and that's how we get better every year. There is no way but up. 

Even if we go down, we gotta get back up again. As always.

Well 2016, you've been fucking insane. But thank you so much for the wild ride anyway. On a lighter note this year has truly been crazy. Went to probably the highest point on earth I'll ever be, experienced my first snowfall (though it's very little), financially struggling, got super busy, being put in an on-going wait, and everything else in between bitter and sweet. 2017, I'm coming for you. And 2016 and I are going to make you the best year of my life again. As always!

Alright I hope you've had a wonderful 2016. Even if you didn't, don't worry because I know whatever you went through will definitely make you a better person. Even if 2016 didn't feel as good as 2015, just remember that at the end of the year, we have to be a better person than who we were a year ago. And don't let the letdowns and challenges of 2016 get you. 

They're teachers that help you change to become a better person.

Alright I'd like to end this last post of the year with a lyric of Coldplay's Up&Up, which I find is really fitting in this time:

and you can say what is, or fight for it
close your mind or take a risk
you can say it’s mine and clench your fist
or see each sunrise as a gift

See you next year!