SPSB FOC 2012!

 Sunset on the way back from St John to  main land

A day came to a close. A chapter is coming to a close

too.

Hello all I just got back from this year's band FO Camp and it was awesome! Cause it was held in St John's Island, first time for all of us hehe. Well... Umm obviously, this is my first time running the camp as station masters and a year 3 (you don't say). And I kinda enjoy it heh. Finally get to be in the position of a year 3, of a "senior" haha. It was really fun.

The island itself is nice... Not as "ulu" as I imagined it before I came to the island. I thought it's going to be this super duper empty piece of island with nothing but just a bunk (I even thought we're sleeping like outside) but not really. There are concrete paths, and huts, and the bunks are not bad too. Though not as modern as we would all think. The island is nice - awesome getaway from the bustling city. No concrete jungles just... Let go of the city buzz. And back to nature :)

Anyway enough of the island, on to the camp!

So I was one of the advance team that went to the island earlier on Saturday. There were: Carmen, Janis, Zachary, Jeremy, Hassan, Lixuan, Ridha, Breyann and Kalai. And Tze Yang arrived later hehe. We headed for the 10 AM boat and arrived at about 1030 plus I think. Went to transfer the stuff to the bunk etc and walked around the island to get it familiarise. I love Carmen's instax shot! :D

Welcomed the campers and we proceeded with the flag making and cheer forming etc and podium was held at night! It felt so weird... To just sit down there and think of questions to ask the podium people instead of just... Sitting there heh. But it was nice, I had a great laugh too cause some of the questions (and answers) are really funny!

The next day (today) started with PT. I wanted to run with them but I realised... I'm wearing slippers -.- and I had a bad experience running with slippers. So I decided not to run and to play captain's ball which was later in the morning. So I became a time keeper instead! Lionel and Cheryl, together with the other year 3s were cheering as commentators and we're like having commentator-cum-karaoke session. It was awesome hahaha.

And then lunch followed and station game's finally here! So Asyraf came later and Syazwan, him and I went for the location of our station. It was hot, humid and not so windy but I had a great time chatting with them while waiting for the team to come. But sadly due to some delay I was only able to meet like one group only. As I had to leave early at 430 PM :l so Seng Kiat and I headed back, wash up and went to the pier with the other people who needed to go back early.

AND

We seriously almost missed the LAST boat back to Singapore! We reached the jetty and the boat started moving. So I shouted at the guy and they stopped for us. Whewwww. Oh my Buddha, imagine if the boat really left. We have to take the next boat back which is... Tomorrow. That would be scary. Funny how some of us were talking about missing the boat haha.

So we reached the main land and yeah, headed for our way back. I couldn't join Zachary and the rest for dinner as I need to finish some stuff for tomorrow so I headed back home first. Sorry guys! :/ Hope you guys enjoyed your dinner though hehe.

Yup that's all for this year's camp. I really enjoyed it, it was like a mini getaway for me to the island. Away for just a while but at the end of the day, it was a great weekend spent. My wanted getaway, is finally here :)

Well....

As we were all laughing and giggling away during the podium session, my heart was pinched a little. Just to realise that now we're all year 3s. We were the ones thinking of the questions to ask them. We were once in the podium too 2 years ago, and now we're sitting down looking at our juniors being questioned by US. It just felt weird, sad and funny at the same time.

MD would come in a blink, and there goes my band journey in poly. And perhaps... In a long long long time. So I felt sad and fuzzy at the same time to know that all of this is coming to an end really soon. But at the same time I can't wait for MD too. To perform once again in Esplenade. And to officially "graduate" with the band. Well I have IBM to focus first now.

Let time carry me away to the future. I for I can't carry time to bring me to the future.

Off for band camp!

The thing is, I will never come across with this moment again.

And that my friend, is the simple beauty of photography

Wheet! Today was such a great Friday hehe. I love it :D It felt like a long one initially somehow. But it ended beautifully nevertheless. So It's all good now. And well whatever the case is, lesson learnt today is that worrying won't make things better. I've been telling myself that but somehow I just couldn't fully convince myself. It's an irony I've been living with. Telling myself to do something but not being able to do it. To continue applying it in me.

This week feels like a long long week but well it ended beautifully so it's a great one I suppose. It's the first day of June. Fast huh? With a great start to this month, I hope for an even greater rest-of-the-month! Well everyone is having their holidays now but not me :l well attachment it is, no school but work. Nevertheless no worries cause I know June's going to be an awesome month for me! Hehe.

It just felt weird not to be told, not to know, not to feel, that I'll be having a 3 weeks break starting from Monday. Oh well.

I did some shopping at the end of the day to prepare for my band camp tomorrow! Just to buy stuff for my station which... Is so going to be awesome! Yup I'll be off to St John Island tomorrow for band camp till Sunday! Sadly have to come back on Sunday since I have work on Monday :/ Oh well, although a getaway will be good! Hehe.

Hopefully the camp will be awesome and smooth! Finally coming in as a year 3 (Game master etc). Which also mean this would be my last camp as an SP bandee? I feel old... Hahaha. I hope can come back as alumni next year or something like that. I can still remember my band camp in 2010. And last year's band camp with Zachary! Slide Greaseee Hahaha. Epic days!

Plus it will be my first time to St John Island tomorrow, love exploring new place! :)

I think we've all come to a stage of uncertainties. I don't know, most of us I suppose. It's pretty ironic as I once said above that I kept on telling myself to do something, to believe in something, and yet in one point of my life or another I'll just not think of things in that way anymore. It's the fear, it's the future, the uncertainty and the lack of confidence I can put it wholly.

Kept telling myself to live the moment, to seize the moment and to just live the present. When you're feared by the future, you will never be able to move on, and make the next step. Yet at times I'm just worried, I'm just this and that. I need to remind myself all the time. Sigh...

Que sera sera, whatever will be, will be. Good night!

On the side note!

"Photography taught me so much about life. To live the moment, to seize the moment in creating, freezing the moment. And turn it into something beautiful you can remember for life"

Decision

 We all want to go

With the breeze, we will blow

Today was an awesome Thursday....! Yes somehow I feel that today was a Thursday -_- I don't know why but I kept on telling myself that it's Thursday and since I have to do something on Friday I kept on telling myself that I have to do it tomorrow. It was only when Candy and Kai brought up the fact that it's Thursday tomorrow that I realised oh it's a Wednesday.

Not sure if I'm growing old or... I don't know.

Totally enjoyed today's pizza-lunch treat from Dr Simon with my fellow DBS research people who are in school :D There were only like 8 of us, and I miss the 16 of us. Being in the exchange today really made me miss that place a lot. It's like literally our second home for last semester, since we've been using that for our classroom and were only required to move out of there when there's lab or Biostat.

Projects, discussions with friends, lunch when FCs are full, breakfast, early morning sessions before class starts, studying session with Candy, presentations. Oh man I really miss The Exchange! Haha. Nevermind soon I will come back there. And I even heard that the place is going to be even better ^^ So can't wait to see the revamped exchange eh.

Anyway it was really a great chit chat session the 8 of us had with Dr Simon, Mr Lui and Miss Kwek. Talking about lots of stuff from being a vegetarian to researchers and careers and so on. Great to have laughters and chatters once again I guess. Since most of us are now doing ITP either alone or pairs so... Yeah can get pretty lonely no?

After work today I went to have Starbucks with Candy! Cause I owe the 5 of them Starbucks and promised to treat them if I win the International Friendship Day Photography Competition. And I did win the  consolation prize so I owe them a drink. So I don't owe Candy anymore! Hehe. Then Jon came and we were talking about apps haha. So cool, but IT is never my forte I suppose :P

That's all for the day and we went off in the end :) A good 2 hours chat really made me happy. Thanks to the two of you! :)

Well somehow at the end of the day I was feeling really sulky again. Somehow. Felt like I don't want to do anything. In fact it took me like 40 minutes to get up and bathe. Since I was just lazying around in bed. But the call my sis made just now really made my day. So thank you (Y). I'm just tired perhaps. And yes I kinda miss home (especially the food!).

It's the Wednesday syndrome I suppose.

Sometimes all I need after a long day is to take a longer bus route home, or to have a long walk, or just purposely walk a bit longer home. Many people would want to rush home so that they can get a good rest. But it is these longer walks and solitary times that sort of made me happier :l And calmer and more relaxed. That's why I believe at times, Loneliness gives me happiness.

Alright that's all for now. I'll see you again! :)

Humidity

 I would sit down and stare at the sky

Watching puffy clouds going by

Sometimes, little black birds flying high

Feeling as if time would never fly

As I watched the night saying hi

So today marks the beginning of week 7. It's an awesome day to start the week I suppose. Pretty busy and productive and... Enlightening day haha. And a humid one too (thus the title). Still having aches from Sundown but it's good. Pain from running is one of the best pains we can have and can feel haha. Plus I believe it will go away soon so yep :)

Anyway I met Dr Simon again today and we were discussing about my findings about image quantification. The discussion was really rather "intense" and quite funny! But at the end of the day, thanks to him I understand so much better about it. And also cause I accidentally broke my pen's tip and Dr Simon was like "are you okay?" he must have thought I'm angry or something like that hahaha. Nahh it's just my itchy hands. I've broken so many pen tips before.

Today was good cause Candy and Kai came to school so the 4 of us had lunch again. Just like the old days. I miss us, the 6 of us. Oh well the day will come sooner or later. It was rather an interesting talk during lunch about our future. We've yet come to another stage of indecisiveness and insecurity and confusion. But much worst as compared to the last time we had it - which was sec 4?

The more we grow up, the more life reveals itself to us.

Nevertheless, keep on doing what you love, keep on doing what is true. At the end of the day, we'll be who we wanna be I guess?

After I left work today it was somehow funny cause a rush of sadness just come and hit me. Suddenly. Maybe it's the songs that I'm listening to (found some awesome songs recently by the way hehe). Or maybe is the fatigue from work that I got, and everything wasn't a great match maybe and thus I just felt sad. It has nothing to do with work. Just... Hormones I would call it.

So I decided to drown it all off with music. So I took my iPod and listened to music while sitting outside my room, watching the sky. Slowly and slowly, somehow I closed my eyes and when I opened it, the night has fallen. It was a surreally relaxing experience. It feels really good and just calm. I think I can do this more often. Best way to destress and unwind.

I'm puzzled by life. So let's enjoy its bittersweet-ness

Sundown 10KM Marathon - DONE :D

 Sundown 10 KM - DONE

Hello people! Yes I just finished my Sundown 10KM marathon! It's sundown so of course it's a night marathon. The first ever time in my life that I run past 9 O clock so yeah. But it was great! I truly enjoyed running past the Singapore night line though we didn't pass by the flyer, MBS and so on. But nevertheless I loved the run and it was great :)

Well as I once said in my blog (a few days or a week ago) that running Sundown is truly something like defying gravity for me. Not only that I only trained for one month, I have not been running for like 2 or 3 months before that. Tracing back I started running on 29th April. So yup about a month. Along the way I've been feeling afraid that I won't be able to make it and I'll feel really tired and so on.

Well today I proved everything wrong :)

I've been also telling myself that well since I've only been training for one month, it's alright for me to not reach my target (of beating my PB). I was already targetting that a 1h20m is my target or worst a 1h30m. And once again I broke those words and prove myself wrong. So I'm very happy with that. Even though my PB is 1h10m from Standchart, and that this time round I ran for 1h12m, I'm still very happy :)

The thing is I'm not really an avid runner. Not someone who's crazy into running and would love to run fast, beat my PB everytime and so on. Well of course I do want to beat my PB. I just enjoy running. Cause one, I feel that running is an activity where I can forget about life. Just run and be focused about the race. Hit my target, hit my goal and cross the finish line. Life was somehow left behind at the starting line.

Running is something I do to prove myself wrong, to prove others wrong. As you read from above along the 4 months of training I kept on telling myself that it's alright for me to hit 1h20m for this race. And I've been feeling scared and so forth. But hey I did it last night. I ran Sundown and I even ran before the time that I thought would finish my race.

And of course running is an awesome sport I enjoy doing. Kinda funny how I only started to enjoy running last year when I wanted to sign up for Standchart. Then it just becomes something I enjoy doing and then a weekly affair. Then it was Poly50, KK trip, Standchart and now Sundown. More races to come of course!

Of course deep down I'm disappointed that I couldn't beat my PB. I'm sad that well perhaps I could have trained harder, pushed harder during the race, could have done this and that. But it's all over, I may not break my PB but all I know is I've given all my best and I've truly enjoyed my race just now. And honestly speaking, enjoying my race and finishing it are the two things that I want to achieve in my race.

I realised the more I'm worried about time, about the distance as I was running just now. As I listened to my songs I was telling myself "Oh no I've reached this song that means the time is about ____" and when I looked at the distance I've ran I was "Oh my I have __ KM more to go!" And well whenever I have those thoughts in my mind, I'll shut it off and continue running. To an extend I started lip-syncing to the songs as I ran.

The thing is, I learnt not to be bothered so much by the time. By the distance. I want to enjoy running. I learnt from my past experiences that doing things for the reason that you want to enjoy it, for the sake of joy and just because you love doing it, is much more enjoyable. Sometimes we try so hard to be perfect, to do well, to be the best and we totally forgot to enjoy the thing we are doing! :)

I can't imagine running and looking at the time every KM or so, then feeling so insecure and stressed out cause I will feel the need to run faster, or the thought that I've been really running slowly for the past KM and so on. It will feel sucky really (for me that is).

Of course it's important to have a goal or mindset as well. I mean we wouldn't want to just run a marathon for the sake of running only eh? I did have a goal, to beat my PB. I don't really care (keyword: really) about my timing. Because to me every run is just something that I give my best for. Something I will enjoy about and something I will love.

So if at the end of the day I don't run before my targeted timing, I will feel disappointed of course. But I won't be devastated by it. I won't regret and blame myself for not running faster and so on. As long as I enjoyed my race and I gave it all, I will be contented with the result.

You can call me a loser, I guess this is one "loser" part of me. But this is my philosophy to running.  It will just be something I enjoy doing, and I love doing. I just want to remain in a part, in a place where running is something I do for joy and not for achievements. Well, of course it is for achievements too.

It's for self-achievements :)

Congratulations to all runners! Don't be too saddened by your timing. Runs like these are just something that tell you there's another time for you to prove yourself wrong. And thus to run faster. And to those who are still running as I'm writing this now, all the best and don't give up! :) Alright going to bed now, see you!

Another race down, many more to go, many more to prove myself wrong. It's alright when others defeat you. But it is when you let yourself defeat you, then you should be ashamed of yourself.

Alone

 Going to the airport never fail to make me feel

Of going somewhere else, somewhere far

Let's forget about life, about reality

To a place we've never been before.

Hey! Sorry for not blogging for the entire week. Was rather busy and tired and somehow whenever I reached home, I'll get so tired that I will just sleep. Like I fell asleep on Monday, and woke up at 5 AM on Tuesday and then I was late. And so on. Plus my sisters were in Singapore from Wednesday to today. They went back this afternoon and went to the airport to send them. Thus I only worked for half a day.

I'm alone once again.

Yesterday I went to the National Skin Centre to get this lump on my face checked. Since it's been there for 3 weeks oh my. Good news is, it's benign. It's an epidermoid cyst and apparently it's kinda common. The doctor was really nice, he explained to me everything about that cyst. The bad news is, I might need to do an excision to it AKA surgery. And another good news is, it may go off on its own.

Dear cyst on my face, as much as you love me, my face, for being your home, I would totally appreciate it if you can go off. I mean... It's not good to just live in someone else's property you know? Okay you get what I mean. With the power of my mind I bet I can get rid of it! :)

So today I went off at 1230 and we headed for the airport at about 1.30 plus. After sending them off... Somehow I just have this unexplainable urge to be alone once again. Perhaps it's the emo ness that my sis had went back. I don't know what, but I decided to take the long ride back which is by train. I usually take the taxi. So I took the train and alighted at City Hall which from there I took a bus.

Today felt weird. I don't know why.

Anyho, I cooked dinner for today and it kinda failed. Meant to make potato and carrot soup and it turned into this baby-food-like food BLEAH. But it's good haha. Thankfully there's chicken. And today my Oliver Shanti Album arrived! All the way from the US which I bought it from Amazon. I've been looking for the CD and now it's here! I love all his songs from the album. But Sacral Nirvana - best.

He may be a child molester, but his songs make me happy. Such a pity he did those things (I'm not too sure either, just reading up on the net). Though he's a genious in making music but well... We're not sure of other's life are we?

It's Sundown race day tomorrow and I'm very nervous and excited and whoop whoop haha. I'm going to give in my best, and gonna try to beat my PB! Even though it seems impossible. Really, I'm defying gravity tomorrow! Alright guys that's all for now. I'll update you about my race! :)

Sacral Nirvana

Happy Graduation 2012!

 Passing time!

Yes happy graduation 2012 to the fellow graduants who'll be graduating this week! It'll be my turn soon and in one year's time (around there) I'll get to congratulate myself hahaha. Anyway yup to those graduating from poly this year, happy graduation! Time to celebrate and give yourself a pat on your back for the three years of hardwork and sweat and tears and blood (for Biomed student HAHAHA). You guys deserve it! :)

I'm still on my journey of my graduation and I'll make it a beautiful one.

Today was alright I guess... It's pretty mentally draining though. I don't know why. I guess it's the loads of articles that I've been reading, and the fact that I couldn't find the answer for one question that have been bugging me. Dr Tan told me to look at the basics again. Well, I will! Research is really a mentally draining job cause yeah... Well all the readings etc is really heavy. But at the end it will be rewarding.

Well the rule in life is that hardwork will be paid off with something satisfying. Not only research! Hehe. Well it's simple. In life there can be many lies, but there's only one truth. So no matter how difficult the question can be, there WILL be an answer and I will find it. Trust me. I cannot give up! :) Lets just follow what Dr Tan told me I'll disect the question again. I'll find it for sure.

Although today was mentally tiring, at the end of the day I get to enjoy a great sectional and dinner with my awesome clarinet section! Thank you for the laughter and the stories :) And we celebrated Chris' belated birthday celebration too hehe. Kinda sad we only have 4 year ones now. I hope some of the others would come back! :)

And today marks the beginning of the graduation week as I said on top. Well yeah, seeing all the happy graduants on their black-and-yellow gowns (as Kayheng put it, bumblebee haha) makes me feel happy too! And of course, I can't wait to be on that gown as well, taking and snapping photos away with my friends. That will happen next year of course.

Well yes I wrote this yesterday, but I wrote another line in my diary.

I'm waiting for the day where these days would turn into a memory. Into something we can smile and laugh about, and at the same time something rewarding that we can look back upon to. And the only way we can and we should make this a reality is to make these days, great days. So just push it, give in your best and live in the moment!

And I'm also waiting for the day when I would return back into this page of my blog, or that page of my diary where I would smile like an idiot, reminiscing the days that passed by me in the blink of an eye. Yet a bittersweet reminder to me of how fast time could fly.

Ah well. Adhi. Let's just live in the moment. Ironic much of how I can't wait to graduate, but don't want my poly life and year 3 to end. And yes, I terribly much miss my life as a student.

Bon nuit!