In 2016...

Looking back....

As usual, it's the dawn of the last day of 2016. 366th day of the year, here we are finally.

Whew, twenty sixteen. I don't even know where to begin. This year has been such a whirlwind, a wonderful ride. I always enjoy looking back at the past year but not in this year. It's funny though how when we had a challenging year, we won't call it a good year nor a bad year. We won't call it good because of the challenges but we won't call it bad because we pulled through everything.

2016 is the busiest year that I've ever went through. We had an expansion at the farm, and we opened a new shop. I am still helping out at the factory and at the same time, I am helping out at the printing shop. I am quite proud that I managed to pull through everything this year. I've definitely learned a lot and I'm happy that I did. The challenges that I faced have shaped me as who I am today.

I used to be able to do whatever I want after dinner time. I would go back to my room, meditate, and then do whatever I want. Be it blogging, watching YouTube videos and so on. But not this year. There are always things to do, and most of the time I'm left with only one hour of "free time" before I go to bed. Well like as if there's a lot that I like to do, but it just feels so bizarre how busier I got this year.

But through this busy times, I learned a lot about finding the rhythm in life. What I don't like, I will change. And I will change until I found the right one. Just by simply changing your time slots and working habit can make a huge change. And by spreading your workload, you'll really feel the difference. I think this is what being adult is all about. Prioritising, and just making sure that you'll get work done and at the same time, you get some break too. No longer doing everything on impulse.

2016 tests my patience, or our patience a lot. I feel that throughout the entire year, we're being put in a situation in which there's nothing, I mean literally nothing, we can do but wait. It is a very horrible situation to be in because we're humans after all. We cannot predict the future and most of the time when we try to predict them, we ended up suffering instead. Because it may not turn out to become what we want. And this doesn't relieve any suffering but actually add more to it.

Which is why the biggest lesson I learned from 2016 is to really hold on to emptiness. To see everything as it is, without twisting, adding and reducing any facts to it. I've become a much happier person because I managed to not add any other unnecessary sufferings. Or at least... I've become a more neutral person in most situation. Where I know that I won't have to feel happy nor sad about things. Which may cause more unnecessary sufferings to myself. It is weird really.

And through this whole period of waiting I learned to never give up on your hope. Remember that we can always meet with an ocean of disappointments, but never lose a single grain of sand of hope.

I have also been financially struggling in this year. Not in terms of my own personal money but the business. I'm not sure if this should be considered a wrong move, I was helping someone after all. But at the end of the day life will always find a way. Although it was a pretty financially challenging year, somehow somewhat I always get help. In the most surprising way! I remember how in June I didn't even have enough money to pay the electricity bill of the farm. But out of a sudden my customer just transferred me his payment and I'm saved. Angels in disguise, everywhere!

Which brings me to the next lesson I learned. That kindness and stupidity are two of compassion's greatest children. Treat them with sincerity, and their mother will take care of your. 

But at the same time I also learned that it is important to be ambitious. But it's more important to be ambitious within your limit. Screw those people who "encourage" us to forget about our "limit" and that we should have limits as high as the sky, or even the galaxies. We are humans. In Islam there's a term called ajal which means limit. We all have our own limit. And it's good to know them.

Through the adversities I faced this year, I've learned a lot about living in the moment. I have changed my definition of it. I have learned to be happy wherever I am. To celebrate every moment and savour every breath that I have. Celebrating times of triumph and the lessons I learned in times of adversities.

I've learned more about the art of happiness. How we should all be happy because really, at the end of our lives we'll all be laughing at the amount of time we wasted being unhappy! So be happy, because one day we will no longer be able to. Be happy because one day everything will come to an end.

But after two years of doing meditation, I've found something more important than being happy. It is to be mindful. To be aware of our feelings, our thoughts, our speech and our action. This is why I don't want to be the happiest person in the world. I want to be the most mindful mwahaha.

And without the need to explain again, this year I've learned that I can definitely live without meat.

Well alright alright, 2016 is a challenging year. But there are wonderful things that happened too. My Tibet trip and the birth of my nephew whom we've been waiting for a long time heh. 

My trip to Tibet in April is truly the most amazing journey I've embarked on in my life. Not only that Tibet is inside my bucket list, but the things I did and the sights I've seen, in that short 10 days is truly a life-changing experience. A spiritually enlightening and liberating experience, an adventure of a lifetime. The devotion, compassion and resilience of the Tibetans will stay with me forever.

Also I managed to see Mt Everest how cool is that!

Whew, to be honest as I'm writing this right now. It feels very overwhelming. Emotionally, psychologically and in every aspect. 2016 has been such an arduous journey but I am happy and proud that we pulled through it. I thought 2012 was a tough year but here comes 2016!

But like I said on the last day of 2015 (fuck that's 366 days ago!), I believe that every year is the best year that we are going to have. Just like how we only have one life. There will only be one 2016. Although I have faced a lot of challenges this year, I knew at the end of everything I have learned a lot too. And they have definitely left a positive impact on me, and hopefully make me wiser.

Every year, we have to get better. No  matter how small or big our progress is. We only have this life, and this year. So let's change for the better. Don't let anything bring you down, learn from your mistakes, and that's how we get better every year. There is no way but up. 

Even if we go down, we gotta get back up again. As always.

Well 2016, you've been fucking insane. But thank you so much for the wild ride anyway. On a lighter note this year has truly been crazy. Went to probably the highest point on earth I'll ever be, experienced my first snowfall (though it's very little), financially struggling, got super busy, being put in an on-going wait, and everything else in between bitter and sweet. 2017, I'm coming for you. And 2016 and I are going to make you the best year of my life again. As always!

Alright I hope you've had a wonderful 2016. Even if you didn't, don't worry because I know whatever you went through will definitely make you a better person. Even if 2016 didn't feel as good as 2015, just remember that at the end of the year, we have to be a better person than who we were a year ago. And don't let the letdowns and challenges of 2016 get you. 

They're teachers that help you change to become a better person.

Alright I'd like to end this last post of the year with a lyric of Coldplay's Up&Up, which I find is really fitting in this time:

and you can say what is, or fight for it
close your mind or take a risk
you can say it’s mine and clench your fist
or see each sunrise as a gift

See you next year!

That Year

A couple of years back. And when I mean a couple I mean a decade ago haha, I wondered what life will be when all of my siblings are married. Back then it was just a simple pondering question. It was nothing serious to think about, after all we were still young back then. Nothing shouts at my face that my siblings are getting married. I wondered how life will be, and how everything would feel.

Well back then the future wasn't something I was thinking about. After all I was still in secondary one, and my siblings are still studying (except for my brother). But you know, the inquisitive me, I like to wonder about things. Now that all of my siblings are married adults, I suppose this is how it feels like?

My siblings have all moved out and live in their own houses now. It feels so surreal to think that there's only my parents and I left in the house. It feels so surreal whenever I stare at both of my parents while we're having lunch/dinner. Of course, I mean this is life. It always moves on and things are always changing. And of course I feel happy for my siblings for getting together with their partners and for moving into their own houses. It's just that.... Everything just felt so surreal.

Every year that I'm back here seems to tell me more and more that I've made the right decision of going back home. Although I was filled with doubts back then, I knew I made the right choice. Perhaps something big is coming up for me. I don't know. No one knows really. 

So yeah. 2016 is that year. It is the year that I was pondering about a decade ago.

Feels crazy isn't it.

Veggie Lyfe

I know I'm supposed to blog about this yesterday, but since today is the first day of the last lunar calendar, I think it's good to talk about it today instead! Yup, I'll finish my 366th day of becoming a vegetarian in two more days and I'm feeling accomplished by this. Because back a few years ago, I never have any thought of becoming a vegetarian but here I am now. 

Along the way, my thoughts changed, and yup. I can definitely live without meat. Looking back, I've been considering this lifestyle change since 2010. Like I did have thoughts of becoming a vegetarian at some point of my life, but not this soon. Well I kinda regretted not starting earlier. But whatever the case, I'm here now and I'm definitely not looking back. So far I haven't found any reasons to go back.

To give you a bit of history, I've been going vegetarian twice a month since 2010. Although it was pretty much an on-and-off thing. In 2013 I decided to really dedicate two days every month to go vegetarian. I continued this until 2015, when I watched Dr Greger's video on YouTube about plant based diet and decided to go Meatless Mondays (then Saturdays) from August onwards.

Everything changed in November when I watched Cowspiracy. And then Vithya sent me a link to watch Earthlings. I could still remember watching it... Hmm... Exactly a year ago! And on that night I stopped eating meat heh. Okay I still eat some meat but I decided that I'm going to turn into a vegetarian this year. Which I did, and 364 days later, I'm still one. I'm even considering to go vegan now heh. Okay not so soon, my plan is to go ovo-vegetarian next year (no dairy, consuming eggs though).

How am I feeling now you may ask? I actually feel.... Pretty normal heh. I'm not sure if I feel any major difference ever since I go meatless. The only difference is two things - One is that I never experienced any constipation and two, I feel kinda more energetic. Usually I'll feel sleepy after lunch and I would go take a 10-15 nap before continuing work. But nowadays I don't feel sleepy at all.

Oh and I also never feel bloated after every meal. Except when I'm eating lentils and petai.

Fun fact: I also didn't lose any weight. I don't know to be happy or sad with the fact that I didn't lose or gain any weight. I was 89 in 1 January and I've been in this weight till now heh. Well I did actually lose 3kg on the first month but I ate too many kue lapis during CNY and I'm back again HAHAHA. Lots of people say my stomach looks flatter though. No, it's still bulging but smaller in size I guess.

See the thing is I don't become a vegetarian for health reasons. I really do it because I just feel that if I can be alive without having the need to kill animals, why not right. I'm not gonna be a hypocrite, I still kill mosquitoes and cockroaches and other creepy crawlies. But I'm sure you get my point. And no I haven't fully stopped causing suffering to animals since I'm not a vegan yet.

And whatever I get in return, be it good health or weight loss, I take it as the good karma I gained.

Although I've been reading Dr Greger's book How Not To Die which shows the benefits (proven by studies) of a plant-based diet, and how it can reverse many diseases. So maybe it's true that plant-based is the way to go. And thus perhaps it's true that what goes around comes around. There is a price we have to pay for consuming meats.

But I'm just gonna let you be the judge, try some meatless Mondays! :D

Okay so maybe I should share with you some of the questions I get when I tell people that I'm a vegetarian. I'm gonna list them from the most frequently asked questions.

1. Where do you get your protein?! You can only get proteins from meat!

Tofu, tempe, broccoli, beans, lentils and other vegetables. No, there are proteins in plants. If not how do cows, elephants, monkeys and pandas can grow so big and muscular?

2. You only become vegetarian cause you wanna lose weight right? Are you on a diet?

No, if this is the case I would have stopped 11 months ago.

3. Do you ever feel weak and dizzy and tired?

Nope. Not sure why but this is one of the most frequently asked questions to me. I really don't think that an absence of meat can cause the above symptoms. An absence of carbohydrate will.

4. But God created animals for human's consumption.

I don't believe in creationism :)

5. You're so young, you should not become a vegetarian and enjoy life.

I am a vegetarian and I am still enjoying life :D

6. How can you not eat meat? Do you miss it?

Not sure how but I can. And surprisingly I don't miss it. I do still miss bakso though lol!

7. But you're also killing plants you know. Plants have feelings too.
At least I don't have to kill an entire tomato plant to eat tomatoes. And other veggies etc. But you have to kill a chicken to eat its wings and a cow to enjoy your steak. So yes. 

You see the funniest thing that I ever encountered is this. When people ask me why I become a vegetarian, I usually say because of my religion. Which is not true. I do it 80% for the animals, 10% religious and 10% spiritual. The reason why I said this is because some people usually get very defensive when I tell them the true reasons. They will try to convince me that we have to eat meat. That being a vegetarian is "too extreme". I even have someone telling me it's against "God's Will" to be one. 

Errr.......

So yeah I stopped telling people my true reason why. Perhaps people are uncomfortable with the truth? Perhaps they are guilty? I don't know. But see when I tell you that I am a vegetarian I'm simply telling you I don't eat meat. I don't know why some people have the tendency to take it as "you have to be a vegetarian". I'm really fine with you eating meat. It's your life after all. I used to think vegetarians are crazy for giving up meat. Now that I'm one, I find some non-vegetarians even crazier than us heh.

Okay anyway, I do learn some lessons across this journey.

1. Happiness 

I learned a lot about happiness. Ever since I become a vegetarian my meals are getting simpler and simpler. Just stir fried veggies, or soups, or fried veggie fritters and so on. They taught me a lot about gratitude. I eat whatever that is on the table. I feel like I've been living like a monk. Cause I told my mum that I will just eat whatever dish that is on the table as long as it doesn't contain meat. The thought of me having food everyday is already enough to make me happy. While some people out there are starving without food for days and even months. I'm really thankful for the food on my plate.

2. Creativity

Well I learned to cook and devise my own food heh. Although some of them are failed ones. I used to make different vegetarian dishes but as the days go by I become lazier and just cook simple dishes. I made like vegetarian meatballs, lentil curry, noodles, vegan burger and mac and cheese! Also I usually mix up some other dishes to make a new dish. My favourite thing to do is to make rice bowls. Just a bowl of rice topped with vegetables and sometimes tofu. Or whatever I have on that day heh.

3. Health

One of the biggest lessons I learned is that being healthy is actually very easy, if we want to control our diet etc. You don't have to be a vegetarian to be healthy. I mean increasing your fibre intake and so on can help you a lot. Yet I see many people who would rather take pills in order to be "healthy". Like pills to lower down cholesterol, for good digestion etc. We can all skip these pills by changing our diet and nutritional intake. I did a blood test a few months back and the result was great. Everything is in normal range. My triglycerides level was low too.

Yet when I tell people that they should eat more veggies and avoid certain types of food, their response will be "Nahh I'm taking (insert drug name here) already so I should be fine". Well...

And the biggest lesson, like I said, is that I can be alive without consuming animals. That's enough.

Anyway I would like to thank my mum for cooking me so many lovely vegetarian dishes, and for trying out to cook vegetarian version of my favourite dishes (changing meat to tofu heh), despite of just me being the vegetarian of the family. To my dad for joining in the fun to cook our veggies with vegetarian seasonings and not the usual fish sauce. To my aunts who always buy vegetarian food/snacks for me when they are traveling. To my siblings and sibling-in-law (is that such a word?) for also buying and cooking so many vegetarian dishes. I feel so loved awww. And my family helper who always cook some vegetarian lunch for me mwahaha. Thank you so very much for making this journey an enjoyable one.

Last but not least, a special mention to Vithya for giving me the inspiration to turn into a vegetarian! Afer 2 years of telling you that I want to turn into one, I'm finally one now hahaha.

Alright that's all from me today. To those of you who are interested in this lifestyle change, if you can turn overnight that's really good for you. If not, you can always try meatless Mondays (or any other day actually) first! Or even do it twice a month. Remember that you should always be concrete about your decision. Don't do it because you want to lose weight. It won't last long trust me. If you have any questions whatsoever, I'll try my best to help you. If not the internet is a wonderful resource.

May all living things be happy! 

PS: Or you can watch the documentary Earthlings, Cowspiracy and Forks Over Knife

Great Music of 2016

 

 Thank you for the wonderful music!

It's that time of the year again! Time to share with you some of the great music that I discovered in 2016. I think 2016 is quite an awesome year for music, but 2015 was kinda better heh. Anyway I didn't really discover lots of music in December... Except for Enigma's song Amen (featuring Aquilo!) and also I just received my copy of Olafur Arnald's Island Song album and it's so lovely!

Alright here goes! As usual I will begin with the great artists/bands I discovered, then my favourite albums, then favourite songs, and a new addition: Acts that I look forward to in 2017! :)

Again, in no particular order. Also PS: Some albums are released in 2015

Great Artists/Bands I discovered in 2016:

[] Troye Sivan [] The Mary Onettes [] Bipolar Sunshine [] Charlie Lim [] Disco Hue [] dne []

[] Pillar Point [] Classmate Journal [] Men I Trust [] Muna [] Christine and The Queens []

Once again gotta thank YouTube for being an awesome place of music discovery. I discovered most of these new artists and bands via YouTube! And also via other bands/musicians that I've been following on social media. For example I found out about Christine and The Queens thanks to Shura! Here's to more artists and bands discovery in 2017 mwahaha. I'm so glad to have discovered them! 

Great Albums of 2016:

[] Blue Neighbourhood by Troye Sivan [] Headcase/Hard To Read double EP by Daywave []

[] All My Demons Greeting Me As A Friend by Aurora [] Everything and Nothing by Hammock []

[] Time/Space double EP by Charlie Lim [] Yoncalla by Yumi Zouma [] Nothing's Real by Shura []

[] Love You To Death by Tegan and Sara [] Futures EP by PREP [] Roosevelt by Roosevelt []

[] West of The West by Goldroom [] Raja Kelana by Mondo Gascaro [] 

[] Two Vines by EOTS [] Oh My My by One Republic [] Island Songs by Olafur Arnalds []

Best Album of The Year: Nothing's Real by Shura

Hands down the best album of 2016 in my opinion haha. Well I really really love this album. I love Shura's music as well, and she seems to get better and better with every release. Ever since I discovered her 2 years ago, I know her debut album is gonna be so awesome. To be honest this album from her feels like a piece of myself that I lost, and discovered again; it is my escape. I am very excited for her second album! And I am so glad to have the opportunity to catch her live at Neon Lights! :) 

Great Songs of 2016:

[] Youth by Troye Sivan [] I Went Too Far by Aurora [] Conqueror by Aurora []

[] Daydreamer by Bipolar Sunshine [] Love Is Blind by Lapsley [] Dove by Pillar Point []

[] I Only Tell The Truth by Charlie Lim [] Knots by Charlie Lim [] Boyfriend by T&S []

[] Make It Up by Shura [] What's It Gonna by Shura [] Tilted by Christine & The Queens []

[] Who's Got You Singing Again by PREP [] Text From Sweden by Yumi Zouma []

[] The Greatest by Sia [] Silhouettes by Goldroom [] Deacon's Summer by Mondo Gascaro []

[] High And Low by EOTS [] Fever by Roosevelt [] Bonfires by The diogenes Club []

[] Winterbreak by Muna [] Gotta Find You by Disco Hue [] Ovedur by Sigur Ros []

[] Amen by Enigma [] Lauren by Men I Trust [] Meeting Points at 2 AM by dne []

[] Kids by One Republic [] Wherever I Go by One Republic []

Favourite Song of The Year: ........................................

Okay I really don't have one favourite song of the year. I have lots of favourite songs! Haha. But well just to name a few that I've been listening throughout the year, it'll be:

I Only Tell The Truth by Charlie Lim

Dove by Pillar Point

Make It Up by Shura

Also I would like to make a special mention to Coldplay's song A Head Full of Dreams, which has been in my playlist from December 2015 till now haha. I really really love this song. I think it should be my song of the year. It always gives me hope, and it is a reminder not to give up really. This song soundtracked my trip to Tibet. And it will always remind me of that amazing journey!

And last but not least, here are some of the acts that I look forward to in 2017!

- Debut album from: Aquilo, Muna and PREP (maybe?)

- Kaleidoscope EP from Coldplay

- New albums from: Asgeir, Oh Wonder, Kings of Convenience, Lorde, Lucy Rose

- Potential new albums from: Sam Smith, Sigur Ros, Chvrches, the diogenes club, Years and Years,

Okay these are just some of my predictions, I'm still unsure if the above artists are releasing new albums. I know Asgeir is coming up with something in 2017, Oh Wonder is recording their 2nd album? And KOC had just created an intimate concert of new materials last month I think. I'm really looking forward to new songs and albums from these musicians! I feel that every music is worth the wait, because they worked so hard to write and produce their music. So I'm just patiently waiting! :)

Alright that's all from me in this year's music! I am so thankful to discover new artists and bands, and so happy for the release of these albums this year. Thank you so much for filling this year with wonderful music, for being my escape, and as usual, thank you always for keeping me sane.

Here's to more beautiful discoveries in 2017! See you again in next year's review mwahaha.

Celebrate

This is sort of a continuation of my post about traveling. But I'm not gonna talk about traveling again, more of life in general. Okay so like I said in my post, about how we should all create how we want to "live our life to the fullest", I came across with this thought. You see we all have the tendency that a great life is one where we have no problems etc. Well in one way it's true, but it will never happen.

I mean problems and challenges are what makes our life so interesting and adventurous. Can you imagine a life where it is so smooth, so easy and just a boring walk in the park. A park with no bumps, no road-turns, no this and that. This is why I came up with the thought that maybe living life to the fullest is not all about the glitter and gold, and all the wonderful things we imagine it to be.

Living life to the fullest to me means celebrating every moment that we experience. Okay obviously we don't celebrate the passing of someone, or someone's misfortune. But what I mean is that we live every moment to the fullest. In good moments, we treasure and we enjoy them while they last. In bad moments, we learn from them and we move on. I know it sounds ridiculous to "enjoy" bad moments, but this year I've had my fair share of these moments, and I learned a lot from them!

See, learning from bad moments is a way we can celebrate them. 

I was talking to someone once about how much she doesn't enjoy her life. Problems after problems, and she wasn't enjoying her job (yet she doesn't want to find a new one). She was telling me how she envies other people who seem to have a better life than her, and how they are "living their life" while she's here stuck in a life she doesn't seem to enjoy, and can't seem to change.

So I told her that she shouldn't fall into the lure that of just because someone is having a "better life" than her, will instantly mean that they are happy and so on. We all have our own fair share of happiness and sadness. And there's no way we can redefine our own just by "transferring" someone's happiness to us. And we can all change our lives, it all falls down to whether we want to or not.

So yeah, we should celebrate every moment of our lives. The tough ones and the happy ones. If you remember that nothings lasts forever, you'll realise that every moment is worth celebrating about. And celebration doesn't always refer to glitz and glamour. It can also mean quiet contemplation and melancholic reflection. In times of triumph we savour the moment before it's gone. And in times of adversity we can learn and grow stronger. Celebrate every moment. 

Or more like... Celebrate whatever that we can earn from it.

Happiness And His Friends

I think we all have a love-hate relationship with happiness. It is something that everyone talks about, and wishes for. We all want happiness and we don't want suffering. But weirdly enough also, I feel that we all feel confused and angry when our happiness is taken away. We don't know what to do and we feel like it's the end of everything heh. But not really, we just don't know how happiness works.

2016 is without a doubt a very challenging year for me. But it is through all of these challenges that I learn so much about happiness. Like I mentioned in my previous post, I'm even learning not to rely on happiness to make me... Happy. Across the years I've learned that happiness is never something that we chase and look for. It is something we create. But like everything in life, we have to understand that nothing lasts forever. The best way to feel is to really feel everything while they're here.

My meditation days have also taught me a lot to ponder about happiness. When you ask people, how do you define happiness, I am pretty sure everyone will come up with a different definition. To me happiness is a state of bliss where nothing is lacking from you both in reality wise and also psychologically, mindfully and emotionally. And I feel everyone has a different "state" of bliss.

How do we measure this state is what measures our happiness level as a human. The more we crave, the unhappier we become. I remember a saying from the documentary "Our Mind Is Bigger Than All The Supermarket In The World" which I caught at THIS Buddhist film fest 4 years ago. It says we feel unhappy when our mind doesn't get what it wants. And vice versa for happiness.

To me meditation helps to train your mind in this sense too. It is quite challenging to instill gratitude to people in materialism-wise. Can you imagine instilling gratitude to people's mind? I think it's impossible haha. How we can stop craving for thoughts and emotions that are not beneficial to us.

Across the years we've been lured to live in a "definition" of happiness, where actually in reality, we are the only ones who can create our own definition. I'm starting to do this, because really, no one is in charge of our own happiness except for our own self! Not even your parents or friends. 

Since we feel too many unnecessary emotions, we don't realise that we've been wasting time being unhappy. I came up with these lines this year... And I think it helps me a lot.

"At the end of our lives, on our deathbeds, I think we will all be laughing at the amount of time we wasted being unhappy. So hence, be happy. Because one day we will no longer be able to be happy."

Journaling Journey

 Thank you Tacy for this birthday present!

First of all I just want to wish you a Merry Christmas! I hope you had a great day today with you loved ones. And some great food too! Man it's Christmas again. Christmas always reminds me about time. How the year is coming to an end and another one is coming upon us. A time of reflection, a time of looking back and forward. Which is in line with what I wanna talk about today: Journaling!

So I (horribly) failed to draw for 365 days of the year last year. I failed because I only drew for 173 pages of my drawing journal and the other 192 pages are filled with words. This is why at the end of 2015, I decided to go back to word-journaling haha. I feel more comfortable writing to be honest. Perhaps I'm just not born to become an artist. I really really can't draw. I love doodling though!

Anyway 2016 actually marked the 6th year that I've been doing journaling. Although in different forms, throughout these years. I started keeping a journal on October of 2010. The reason why I did this was actually because... I was guilty of buying so many notebooks which were left unused inside my drawer HAHAHA. Bad habit I know, no worries I've stopped buying notebooks. In fact my 2016 journal is a notebook I bought in New York 4 years ago! And I already have 2017 one prepared.

So I kept a journal from October 2010 - December 2011, followed by my 365 journal in 2012, another journal for 2013-2014. In 2014 I also did my Project365 which I consider as "digital journaling". And in 2015 I did my (kinda failed) draw everyday project and now, back to writing. I don't journal on a daily basis except for 2012 and 2015. I try to write at least once a week for the others.

This year my goal was to write twice a week. In the beginning of the year everything went according to plan. But in the first third of the year, I started to slack and I didn't write twice a week. Until in October when I realised how many more pages I have left to write. That's when I decided to write every day from November to December onwards. It's doing great so far, still left with a few more pages though.

I truly enjoy journaling. Although it is not as "convenient" as blogging since you have to use a pen to write. It's kinda tiresome, especially for your hands. But I feel that journaling is very different from blogging in terms of feelings. It feels more intimate and close. When you re-read your journal entries, it gives a more special feeling than re-reading your blog posts. It's like re-visitng your private thoughts.

Also when it comes to blogging, you know people are going to read your posts. So sometimes when I write my blog posts, I always wonder how other people are going to think/feel when they read my posts. But in journaling I don't give a shit since it's mostly me who's going to read my entries haha. Not that I write any secretive things on my journal either. My journal entries are more random!

Just like a blog, my journal is "someone" whom I can talk to. They may not give me solutions to my problems but at least I can gather my thoughts here. Sometimes I am very very surprised at the things that I wrote inside my journal. In a good way of course, like holy shit I actually wrote this?! Haha. 

Sometimes I feel that journaling is some sort of meditation? Because you really let your feeling flow through on that piece of paper and you are sort of aware of these thoughts and feelings. It's a relaxing activity and something that will definitely help you in the long run. I've seen YouTube videos of people who do journal flip-throughs and they have been journaling for like 5 - 10 years. Wow!

Personally, I don't know if I can keep up this habit of mine. Times are getting busier and I don't know if I can still journal even on a weekly basis. Maybe once a week is still possible. I do hope to continue this though, because I really enjoy this. Come to think of it... This is what I do almost every night. It's my source of "entertainment" and how I wind down haha. So perhaps I should continue yes.

Right, that's all from me! If you're interested in journaling, it's never to late to start! Go grab a book, any book, and write the hell out of it. Just kidding, but yes just write whatever you feel like writing. You can draw, paint and do whatever you want. No one is stopping you. Have fun! :)