Great 2 Years!

 Been a great 2 years

It's been two years since I graduated from Singapore Polytechnic. Two good years indeed. Time flies huh? It feels like yesterday when I was at SPCC taking photos with my lecturers and friends. I hope everyone is doing well, wherever you are. The guys are finishing their NS soon, the ladies are either studying or working now. I am proud of how far we have all come. I hope you're enjoying the things you do, wherever you are! Don't stress yourself out too alright, take ample rests.

So a year ago I wrote and asked myself, what will I be doing a year later? Well hmm I'm doing well. The flower business has been improving as well, since a year ago. My dad has always told me that every year, we should always try to aim for the better one. To be a better person as the person we were a year ago. So I suppose within this one year, I've made some improvements?

I went to Iceland. I have achieved my life-long dream. And what else...? There's nothing much I suppose. I may not make a great and vast improvement in the past year, but I definitely feel it's been an awesome 2 years here back at home. I felt that this year, I've never been busier. There are things to do, people to meet, and problems to solve. Maybe I have experienced the real life more and more. I remember back 2 years ago, when I just got back here. Everything seemed overwhelming.

The change in life, and rhythm from a student to an adult feels kinda overwhelming. But I'm getting the hang of it I suppose. Whenever people ask me how's my life here, I would reply with either "I'm doing good" or "Coping well here". Because to be honest I'm still coping here. Obviously much better now, as compared to the last 2 years. But still, there are some things I still can't let go of.

Five years ago I entered SP as a Biomedical student. I was a boy with such optimism, hope and wonderful visions about my future. It felt like I can do anything. I can become what I want. It felt like everything is going to work according to plan. I held onto my dreams. I grabbed my plans and I was just trying to live everything as close to my plans as possible. But life is never a smooth road. I met challenged, dilemmas and so on. I have to change my plans. I have to make decisions.

3 years ago I made a decision to return home. I have been battling this decision for years. But it was in the middle of my ITP that I decided to make this decision. I was still grappling with this decision of mine. Some of my friends told me to reconsider my plan. Because they told me I have a long way to go. Some of them, supported my decision because they shared the same thoughts as me. It was tough, but like that optimistic boy, I grabbed my decision tightly. And I just told myself to give my bestest effort in the last year of my education. It's my final push. My final chapter.

2 years ago I graduated from SP. After graduation day, this optimistic boy felt very lost. Who he was, three years ago was no longer inside him. Uncertainty, fear and many more emotions mixed inside him. He left Singapore for good, not knowing what's ahead for him. How life is going to be like. Uncertainty filled his heart. Questions filled his mind. But as time goes by, they slowly disappear. 

It was only until recently, that I regained this optimism back. I discovered that there are a lot of things I can do here. I found life's calling here. I found the calling, that I want to make my country a better place. I want to help people here. I want to make the lives of others better here. As of how, I am still not sure. I do have plans, and dreams. Everything seems to return to me once again. I am starting to become that optimistic boy again, like how I was 5 years ago.

Do I have any tinge of regret that I am not doing what I spent three years studying about? Nope. In fact I am proud of my years in poly. Not just study wise, but everything else. My CCA, my OCIP and LEAP team mates. I poured my heart and soul studying what I really wanted to study. I left SP with awesome results. What's there to regret really? What's there to be proud of? Everything.

In fact if there is one lesson I have learned through my three years in poly is that - you have to be so fucking proud of your hard work, your achievements and your journey. Not to an extent where you grow cocky. But just be proud of your hard work. Take pride in whatever you do. And give it your heart and soul. There are times when I feel that the only person who's proud of my diploma - is myself. And that's fine. And that's all I need to know. I am proud of my achievement.

It's been two years and there are things I haven't let go of. Although as days go by, I am slowly letting them go. Because I still have a long way to go. I still have bright days to say hi to, and stormy ones to brace upon. I still have things to improve, and I still have lives I want to change for the better. My country needs me. And I want to be a part of the people who make this country a better place.

You have a long way to go Adhi. So let go of these things slowly. We can do this.