Truth

 The truth

One of my favourite lines from a song, comes from Chvrches' The Mother We Share. It says:

"Cause if I told the truth, I will always be free" 

I don't really understand this line. But as I contemplated on it a lot, I understood it now. And it is indeed a pretty enlightening line for me. Do you have those times when you told someone the truth, but they don't seem to believe whatever you're saying? Or worst, they just created their own "version" of your truth. They don't seem to take what you told them. And they don't believe you at all.

Or sometimes there are times when you told someone the truth, but they rebut it with something else. On one hand, you feel annoyed because you've done whatever you can, you've told them the truth. On another hand, you will feel free. Because you have told them the truth and that's it. You don't have any guilt or wrong-feelings inside of your heart. The feeling is like when you tell your parents you did badly for a test. Yeah sure they may be mad at you, but you feel relieved in a way. There's nothing to hide.

From this line, I thought to myself this:

"I have told you the truth. How you perceive it, how you give it your own twist and turn, it is entirely up to you. But I have told you the truth, and I'm free"

I'm talking about this, because I'm currently facing this situation. Right now, in the farm, we have no flowers at all. We do have flowers, small and non-bloomed ones that is. A few of my customers went and asked if we can do a delivery and of course I told them right now, we are currently not able to do so because the flowers are too small. Thankfully some of them understand and they just kindly tell me to just inform them when the next delivery can be made. And I always do tell them.

But there are also times when some of my customers don't seem to believe my words. I'm not sure if they think I'm lying to them, or whatever the scenario inside their heads is. So at times I feel "bad" when I tell them we have no flowers when truthfully, we really don't have any. But then again I told myself why should I feel bad? When I have given them the truth but they can't seem to accept it in some way. Or they decided to take the truth in another different direction.

You see the hardest thing about having a business that involves living things/nature is that at the end of the day, they are beyond our control, no matter how much we tried to control them. Being trained in the science field, I tried to make sure that everything we do will yield the most optimum result. We plant the same amount of flowers every week, we calculated the time taken for these flowers to bloom, to make sure that there won't be a "gap" between blooming flowers. We gave them fertilisers, pesticides, and even a fertiliser which help them to bloom nicely together. 

So we controlled every conditions to make sure the flowers bloom beautifully. But give us 4 days of heavy rains and these flowers won't bloom no matter what. Because flowers need the warmth of the sun and adequate UV rays to bloom properly. So no matter how much we control the growth of these beauties, we cannot control nature at the end of the day. And there is nothing we can do. We cannot make an artificial sun, we cannot banish the clouds very time they gather above my hometown.

I have this motto in mind: We grow flowers, we don't make them.

Flowers are like human beings. We grow with our own set of characters and different physical forms. We don't really make and tailor human beings. That would be very scary heh. If I can control the weather, if I can make flowers instead of growing them, I would be the richest man on earth. I don't have to worry about the weather, and I will never ever have to tell my customers that our flowers are currently not bloomed yet. I would harvest the flowers everyday and deliver them everyday.

I am very sorry, that we cannot do these. After all we are dealing with living things. And we deal with living things beside this beautiful place called nature. Which sadly, we cannot control also.