In 2017...

It's the dawn of the last day of 2017, and as usual it's a time for me to reflect and contemplate about the year. Hmm I'm not sure how to put 2017 into words to be honest. Although it is definitely a much better year than 2016 hahaha. Pretty sure 2016 has defeated lots of people heh. But then again, since 2014, I decided not to "label" my year! Good or bad, I'm pretty sure all of us have something to take home and bring into the new year. Lessons, experiences and more.

But well, 2017 was a pretty okay year. It was neither a good or bad year. But I'm definitely very thankful for the things that I went through in this year. I would say a lot of things happened in 2017. Both in my life, and also "internally" inside me. Things that happened like miracles, putting full-stops to stories filled with a seemingly endless uncertainty. Things that get the ball rolling forward, and I hope we can keep this momentum towards and forward in 2018.

The year began restlessly still. As if the dark and uncertain days of 2016 shadow themselves into the new year. But things begin to slowly change and move. They unravel into things that we both expected, and unexpected. Like I wrote on my previous post, it feels like things were finally falling into the right places. And now we're just trying to adjust the positions of these things, and also make sure that they are standing strong. And also standing long (sounds wrong hahaha, but you get it).

Internally, I've learned a lot about myself too. Following my journey of recognising the empty nature of things, I discovered more lessons about happiness too. And feeling "alive" about the things that happened to me is also one of the greatest lessons I've learned in 2017!

Now moving on to the lessons I've learned in 2017...

I'm sorry to begin this segment on a not-so-nice note. I've learned that there are many shitty people on this planet seriously. And let us all not be one. I've encountered a number of occurrences in this year that kinda made me lose faith in humanity haha. Like I couldn't believe such people exist. They really remind me to be on my guard always. And it's a bitter reminder to me that the world is dark and full of terror. Stop spreading them. Spread love and compassion instead.

Which brings me to my next point, the only person you should trust is yourself hah. Okay I'm not trying to say that you shouldn't trust anyone else. But trust yourself, and always remind yourself that we need to work hard, and the only person who can make things work is yourself and no body else. Other people can come and help you but at the end of the day, always make sure that you can do it too. Nobody else in this world can achieve your dreams but yourself!

Elaborating more on last year's lesson, about not being too overly ambitious, this year I just want to make sure that we must also enjoy the journey. Like what I feel this year:

"You can climb a thousand mountains in one day, or climb one mountain in a thousand days. As long as you enjoy the process. Because I see no point in reaching the summit, if you don't enjoy the climb"

And I also want to continue to define my definition of "living life to the fullest" like I said last year. I want to be here. To be present at every moment, be it times of joy and peace, or struggle and restlessness. I'd like to remind myself that being alive is an amazing feeling. To feel all of these plethora of feelings. It's a sign that we're still here! Cause one day all of us won't be.

Last but not least, I want to continue being "alive". I want to let myself experience a lot of things, and I want to grow from these experiences. To be a better human being, to be a better person.

I would say 2017 was kind of a year of "closures" for me? I feel like I'm just leaving the dark and uncertain days of 2016 behind. But as I closed many pages, and end lots of stories, empty pages start to appear in front of me waiting to be written. Should I take the pen and write? I sure will.

In this year... I kinda lost my purpose. I no longer know what my purpose and ambition is in a sense. But somehow I suddenly have an epiphany - that all of the things that I'm going through right now is actually leading me somewhere. A place that nobody knows but time. So although I seem to lose my purpose and stuff, it feels like life is reminding me to focus with what I have in the present moment. Let time and life lead me to a place, a place I am subconsciously preparing to arrive in.

2018 is going to be an exciting year for sure. It's time for me to hustle, and it's time for me to get a grip on my life. I do feel a tinge of regret to be honest. I wish I can give myself these closures earlier. I don't know why it took me 4 years to finally get a grip on myself. I suppose it's time. Time knows the best things, it knows things that we'll never know. Until everything is right.

Alright, that's all for this year I guess? Thank you 2017 for everything that you've given me. Like I always believe, every year is the best chance for us to be the best human being we can ever be, and to achieve and realise our goals and dreams. Also, every year that we went through, the things that we went through and lessons we learned, they are the reasons that will make the new year a better one! In this way, we're gonna have an awesome year every year mwahaha.

Ah well, another year come and go. I hope 2017 has been treating you well. Here's me wishing you a great and wonderful 2018 ahead. I hope you have achieved your resolutions and if you haven't there's always the new year! Cheers everyone, here's to an awesome and fabulous 2018 for us.