Isolation Journal Day 24

Decided to do the Isolation Journal again for day 24! This is something close to my heart.

Isolation Journal Day 24 by Colleen Farrell:

Because breathing is essential for life, it touches every part of our existence. What does it mean to you to breathe? When was the last time you really noticed your breath? What were you doing? Was there ever a time when you realized you had taken your breath for granted?

The human body is a beautiful machine. How each breath gives life to keep this machine going. As an avid practitioner of meditation for 6 years now, breathing has become an essential part of this daily routine of mine. The more I meditate the more I realise how much we've taken our breaths for granted at times, and how truly precious our breath is. And how often humans forget how precious this simple yet amazing mechanism of breathing is. Like today's prompt goes, when was the last time we're conscious of our own breath? And I always try my best to incorporate this awareness to other activities of my day like filling my glass with water, when I look up at the sky and so on.

Even though I've been meditating daily for years now, noticing my own breath every time, one event truly changed my life forever - witnessing death.

Two years ago I lost my aunt and my grandma. It was the first time in my life that I ever witnessed someone dying. As my family members and I surround them, I notice how their breathing slowed down gradually. Until we heard the long beep. And how their chest push the air our for one last time, and not moving up again. Surprisingly it was a peaceful moment to be in, even though we panicked to the nurses, whom we deeply know can never bring them back to life.

As I witnessed that moment, it felt as if all of my aunt's and grandma's life culminated in that gush of air their lungs pushed for the very last time. And in that moment, a lifetime seems so short, yet that moment felt like an eternity to me. Witnessing death has really changed my life. In that moment I realised how truly precious each of our breath is. And how often we forget this blissful fact.

Sometimes when I'm having a bad day, I just simply take a deep breath. And I tell myself.

You're still breathing. You're still here. Keep going.

Take care and stay safe everyone!

Moodless

Not sure if it's because of this whole COVID-19 situation or whatever, but I've been feeling moodless and empty these days. I really have no mood to do anything. And as always I don't like forcing myself to do things when I don't have the mood so... That's the reason why I haven't been blogging. It's kinda mind-boggling all these days. I think too many things are running through my mind.

I don't really know what's gonna come after all of this. I definitely know for sure that the world will change at the end of this pandemic. The life that we know will be very different. The way we interact with each other, and the way we think and feel too. These days may feel like the world is coming to an end. But what if it's not the end of the world? What if this is the end of something else.

The end of ignorance. The end of the negative things we've been doing to this planet. Or are we just going to fall back into the sea of ignorance that we enjoy suffocating in.

I'm reminded of Sigur Ros' song from Kveikur called Stormur. Even though it translates to storm, Sigur Ros also gave it another description: A powerful gale, able to disrupt and alter everything that comes in its path. I often thought Stormur refers to time, because time changes everything that comes into its path right? Well ultimately, time plays a major role here. Cause we just have to brave through this storm, and see where time would bring us to, at the end of the storm.

So stay safe and take care everyone. I will see you on the other side of the storm.

Day 100

Today is the 100th day of the year, and it feels like a thousand days have passed. It has definitely been a tiring year so far for the world, and we're still floating on the sea of uncertainty and fear. I still feel like we're still living in a limbo, awating what's coming ahead, holding on to a hope that this will be over soon, yet living with worry that we might still have a long way to go ahead of us.

I've been thinking and contemplating a lot about these 100 days. Life has changed drastically for all of us. Yet at the same time, I feel like we learned a lot about these 100 days. These 100 days have forced us to think about a lot of things too, the way the world functions, the way we interact and communicate with each other, and the way we live our daily lives. And it's kind of good, that we use this time to stop and think, and reflect about this world, and life as we know it. Or the many things that we don't know of.

I would like to use this post as a reflection of everything that has happened in these 100 days.

The world is not ready for a pandemic. We are not ready for a pandemic

This is the first and main thing that comes to my mind. We are truly not ready for a pandemic. From every side of this pandemic. Healthcare side, economic side, and social side. As hospitals struggle to keep up with the influx of patients, as nurses and doctors fight to keep patients alive, as scientists scramble to find vaccines and drugs to combat the virus, and as economically-struggling people couldn't afford treatment. Millions of people around the world lost their jobs, or are in dangers of losing their jobs because of this massive disruption. And these people also struggle to feed themselves and their family. At the same times, countries seem to be stumbling trying to find ways to save their people.

We, are truly not ready for a pandemic.

My hope for the future is that I hope countries will make plans for a pandemic, or a global economic disruption. Perhaps we need to look at ways people are finding livelihood. And we need to look at ways of how countries can help support their people in times of crisis. Not only the government, but its people too. We should help one another in times of crisis, and survive this not only just as a country, but ultimately as a human race. Socially, economically and psychologically supporting each other!

We also need to look at the heroes currently in the battlefield - nurses, doctors and healthcare workers. Without these warriors we will be struggling even further. We need to find ways to support them even more. It's not easy being them really. As for the warriors behind the scenes - the scientists and researchers. We need to support this field too. Every country should try to equip themselves with tools to support this sector in times of a pandemic, or in fact in many normal times too.

Which talking about this, I truly enjoyed the recent TEDx talk by Alanna Shaikh and also by Bill Gates back in 2015. A global healthcare system is the future. When there is an outbreak of a disease of known or unknown origin, countries should rally to help the outbreak-source country to prevent a widespread outbreak (like a pandemic) from happening. Data should be easily accessed by everyone, and we should be able to contain the outbreak quickly and efficiently, if everyone's working together.

Life is being boiled down to its pure core

The past one hundred days really made me think about life in general. I think we are currently being forced to sit down, slow down and think about this life as we know it. Currently the world as we know it has been plunged into the sea of uncertainty. We don't know what's going to happen. And as much as this is the truth, if we think about it.... Isn't life like this too, in general? That life is just too unpredictable, too uncertain. And we live everyday holding on to our faith.

We start to think about what truly matters in our lives. We seem to think a lot about simplifying many things in life. The way we work, the way we earn a living and so on. In this time, we are truly forced to just reflect about life. Okay forced isn't such a great work to be used here. But yes I think many people will understand this. The slowing down of life's pace, has surely made us reflect.

We need to reevaluate the way we interact with the world, and nature

We don't 100% exactly know where does patient 0 in Wuhan China got the disease from. Is it the consumption of an infected animal? Or is it passed from an infected animal in the market? This question leaves a big question mark. But with the fact that the virus is very closely related to the virus found in bats shows that it comes from a wildlife animal. And this is a clear reminder and warning to us humans to leave wildlife animals for good! We should just leave them in nature.

And the recent video surfacing of a speech by Dr Greger in 2008, about the dangers of factory farming and pandemics have taught us further that we need to also reevaluate the way we obtain our food from. I will talk about this in another separate post. But basically... Factory farms are a perfect breeding ground and a ticking time bomb for a pandemic. And we need to act quickly, to prevent it.

In the lyrics from "When You Believe" - Though Hope Is Frail, It's Hard To Kill

I know it's hard to remain hopeful in today's world, especially when everything we read on the news seems dark. But seeing the spirit of other people supporting one another. The gratitude people show to the nurses, doctors and healthcare workers. The way people lift each other with songs and words and arts in times of isolation. I still see the spark of humanity. I still see the long road ahead that we can all walk on together. Though the road ahead still seems bumpy, better days are coming!

And yup these are some of my thoughts of the past 100 days of this long and tiring year. It's been only 3 months and it already feels like a decade heh. Am I worried? Yes. Am I scared? Kind of. But somehow I took comfort in knowing that there's nothing much I can do, and comfort in knowing that there are still things I can do and take. That despite the big changes I'm going to go through, there is faith and hope that I can still go through them. And I will arrive somewhere out of this.

Please take care and stay safe everyone. We will get through this. 

Isolation Journal Day 08

I actually signed up for Suleika Jaouad's project called the Isolation Journals earlier this month! Well although I'm not isolating myself (but practising social distancing, always), I really love the project! Cause no only I love writing/journaling, it's always good to add to my list of prompts haha. And to challenge myself as well. However some of the prompts feel a bit personal for me, and thus I won't be writing it here. I will write it in my journal perhaps. Also I'm not doing it day by day! I don't have the time to commit to the daily project but I saved the prompts for future use mwahaha. Alright this is day 8!

Isolation Journal Day 8 

Pick five time periods, ages, or moments from your life—they can be spread out or all clustered together. Don't think too hard about your choices, just write down the first one that comes to mind and move to the next. Next pick a song to pair with each moment. Again, try not to think too hard. Let it be a gut thing. Now write a quick and dirty paragraph about each one. Then take the one that feels most interesting to you and expand it.

Here are my 5 picks!

1. Childhood days - The Power of Goodbye by Madonna

2. Secondary School - Merry Go Round of Life by Joe Hisaishi (Howl's Moving Castle OST)

3. Poly days - The Prayer (Chanting Inner Peace) by Ketsana

4. 2013 - Wake Me Up by Avicii ft Aloe Blacc

5. Travel - Paradise by Coldplay 

1. Childhood days - The Power of Goodbye by Madonna

I have a very very vivid memory of this song - sitting at the back in my dad's car while we drive through the hometown on a Saturday evening. The sky was blue with streaks of orange clouds. I can remember the lemon-scented car refreshener, and me just staring at the sky above as this song was playing inside the car. It's been probably be 20 years, and everything is as vivid as if it was yesterday!

2. Secondary School - Merry Go Round of Life by Joe Hisaishi (Howl's Moving Castle OST)

I discovered this song back in 2008 I think. Or early 2009, can't remember. But I really love this song! I think the title is very fitting to the music, how lively and how it just reminds me that well life is indeed is a merry-go-round. I even learned how to play this song on the piano. I think my upper secondary school days were filled with lots of hope and fear and worry. Leaving secondary school to the next chapter, and so on. And this song definitely helped me through those days. And even up till today too.

3. Polytechnic days - The Prayer (Chanting Inner Peace) by Ketsana

This song came to me at the most amazing timing. I discovered this song from Project Runway Season 8. The song was used by the finalist Andy South for his runway collection in the finale. I fell in love with this song right away and went to google it! Thankfully I got the title and downloaded the song. The last year in polytechnic was one of the most stressful years of my life and this song helped me A LOT. I listened to it on the way to school, on the way home, before bed, and when I'm chilling out somewhere when I'm stressed. I've been listening to this song almost everyday for close to 8 years now ever since I discovered it. I wish Ketsana would release the song on digital platforms tho! 

4. 2013 - Wake Me Up by Avicii ft Aloe Blacc

2013 was one of the most confusing years of my life. To me the lyrics "All this time I was finding myself, and I didn't know I was lost" speak volumes in my heart. But at the same time it's a driving force for me to constantly search within, to find myself, for myself.

5. Travel - Paradise by Coldplay 

One of the greatest travel experiences I had experienced was in 2011 - a school trip to Inner Mongolia, and also my first mountain climbing experience to Mt Kinabalu in Malaysia. These two trips taught me how beautiful this planet is and what a waste it would be to not explore it when you have the chance to. And metaphorically, these adventures taught me that there are far more things in life for me to explore. Even though this song was released after my trip to Inner Mongolia, and before my trip to Mt Kinabalu, I enjoyed reflecting 2011 with this song. And it has become sort of a ritual to have this song in my travel playlist since then. Everytime I hear this song, it reminds me of my travel memories, and a reminder to keep on exploring!

To be honest as a music lover, this challenge is so hard because I have many songs in mind. But then these 5 songs are the one that come to my mind right away. I've always regarded music as a time machine. Name me any song in my music library and I will tell you a story that I shared with that music. Be it a period of my life, a memory, or a simply a random day that I once experienced. 

Guru Rinpoche Day

Spot Guru Rinpoche! Taken in Shigatse, Tibet

Today is the 10th day of the 2nd month of  the Tibetan calendar. On the 10th day of every month, Guru Rinpoche Day is observed, where devotees would pray and chant the prayers/mantra of Guru Rinpoche. Guru Rinpoche is an important figure in Tibet as he is the founder of Tibetan Buddhism! And well there's an interesting event that happened to me, that made me observe this day ever since. 

I learned that the 10th of the Tibetan month is observed as Guru Rinpoche day after reading Sogyal Rinpoche's book "The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying back in 2014. I didn't really observe this day. But... It simply happened, that the 3rd Guru Rinpoche day of the Fire Monkey year in 2016 fell on the day that I was leaving for Tibet! And since then, I took it as an auspicious sign to observe this day. 

I can still remember sitting inside the departure gate in Jakarta airport, aimlessly scrolling through my phone while waiting to board my flight to Bangkok. I followed Sogyal Rinpoche's page on Facebook and it was then I found out that it was Guru Rinpoche Day! The 16th of April 2016. So I was making my way to the birthplace of Tibetan Buddhism, which was founded by Guru Rinpoche himself, on the day that the Tibetans observe as his day! It couldn't get more auspicious as this could it? :D

So yeah from then on, I decided to practise and observe Guru Rinpoche day. Although there were times where I forgot, because the Tibetan calendar is different from the Chinese Lunar Calendar that I am familiar with. But I did mark the days on my calendar haha. And it was my resolution last year to practise this every month. Thankfully I've been keeping on track ever since.

It is said that the mantra of Guru Rinpoche helps to clear the obstacle in our lives. And I always chant the mantra for all sentient beings on earth, hoping that their obstacles will be cleared too. Personally I like the sound of the mantra, it's easy and wonderful to chant to haha. I also read his 7 line prayers. Although I've been reading it everyday now during the daily mantra chanting that I do.

Okay that's all for this really random post! Just want to share with you this interesting occurrence of mine haha. Feel free to practise Guru Rinpoche Day too, just check out the dates and learn the mantra and prayers. May all sentient beings be happy and at peace, may we all jump through the hurdles that are ahead of us. Especially now, when the world has plunged into quite a chaotic sea! 

Take care and stay safe everyone.

Om Ah Hung Vajra Guru Padma Siddhi Hung.

Strange Days

We currently hit 1790 cases of COVID-19 here in Indonesia with 170 deaths. A very worrying figure indeed, given that it's been a month since we announced the first two cases. But not surprising, knowing how quickly and easily this virus spreads among people. I'm quite disappointed in the way my country handles all of this. We didn't prepare enough although we have two months to prepare when China announced the cases, and our neighbouring countries were trying hard to contain the situation.

I'm not exactly sure what the government was doing behind the stage these two months. But with the apparent lack of PPEs, masks and other equipment needed to battle the virus, it looks like we didn't prepare enough. Also there was a lack of coherence between the governmental bodies. Between the central, provincial and down to the city governments. Which created a lot of confusion and at times, panic among the people. Also the number of times informations were retracted or corrected.

But the news spread among the people earlier, like wildfire, before they were retracted heh.

For example, on Monday evening we received the news on WhatsApp that among the 300 positive rapid-testing results in West Java, my hometown (Sukabumi) has the highest number. It was so surprising because people expected places like Depok or Bekasi, which are nearer to Jakarta to have the highest. But nope, it's my hometown. Then the news was retracted because it's still rapid-testing and not PCR testing, thus we cannot confirm whether they are really positive. But news, has, spread.

And then today we receive an update to the news that it's not highest in 300, but there are 300 positive rapid-testing results. The cases are found in a police academy here in my hometown. It started from 7 students who tested positive, and from the result of rapid testing of other students in the school, they found 300 cases positive from rapid-testing. And now they're being tested using PCR, to confirm the result. And if they indeed test positive, then we'll have a big jump in cases. In my hometown.

Rice has turned into porridge now (Indonesian proverb ftw) and we can't turn back time. The only thing we can do now is to protect ourselves and others. Keep our body and mind fit and just do whatever we can do to protect us from the virus! I know the rate of infection is worrying but there are still things we can do to protect ourselves. Practising good hygiene, social distancing, and keeping ourselves healthy.

I saw this from a video once: Instead of worrying whether we'll catch the SARS-nCoV-2 virus or not, live with the mindset that we will get it. But with the knowledge that there are things we can do to prevent ourselves from getting the virus. And yeah. This mindset kinda prepares me for things. Although please no I don't want to get the virus hahaha. Neither do I want other people to!

Alright I still have more things to talk about. But I'll stop here for now, was just taking a break cause I've been busy every night for the past week. End of month things. Tomorrow is the final leap and I hope to blog more about this whole strange days stuff. Take care and stay safe everyone!

Also holy Apples it's April already :O