Ten Years

The past two days have been a bittersweet one for me. I spent them in Jakarta, visiting our flower customers to tell them that we'll be doing our last delivery in June-July ish. After 10 long years, we have arrived on this day. I'm feeling pretty mixed up about this.

Feeling mixed up because although I know that we're just going to switch the farm into something else, I feel sentimental looking back on our journey in these past 10 years. How we started small, how we expanded, and then COVID came and here we are today.

While I know that I'm not the one who started this business, it's bittersweet to part with something you've been taking care of and handling in the past decade. All the hard work, good and bad memories. To be frank I don't know if I've done a great job or not. I hope I did. 

But at least I'm glad that we closed this chapter on our own terms. We're not being forced to close it, nor are we bankrupt or something. Just a tiny virus that changed the course of human history and our lives. Including ours, and the flower farm. I guess it's just life in its purest unpredictability. 

I guess we'll just have to move on from here. There's another chapter to write next. I don't know how life will unravel itself to us next. At the end of the day we'll just have to move forward. There's not use in staying in the same spot. Life goes on whether we like it or not. Simple as that.

Also I've fulfilled another promise yesterday.

I visited Pa Irwan again, although now at his grave. I did tell myself that I will visit him one day. And now I guess it's the right time to do so. To also inform him that after all these years, we're going to do our last delivery soon. Something we weren't expecting years ago.

Couldn't help but cried, thinking and looking back on our good old days. I'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing that he's not here with us to see this chapter come to a close. After all he's been there since the beginning. And now I have to tell him this news, in this way.

It's been a bittersweet 2 days and I'm still processing my feelings. I often wondered why I always land myself in unexpected places. Who could have thought that I would manage a flower farm after poly. And I wonder what's the purpose of the universe putting this 10-year chapter into my life. I just know that  I have learned a few things from this chapter. About life, about leading a business, about people. 

And most of all: 

how you cannot stop a flower from blooming.

Three Years

So yesterday the WHO has finally removed the emergency status of the COVID-19 Pandemic. I'm not exactly sure what this means. Some see it as the end of the pandemic, while others say that it's just the removal of the emergency status. AKA countries and governments won't have to treat the disease as an emergency. So the pandemic is still here, technically.

Although I do feel that the world has returned to normalcy somewhere in... 2022? I remember not seeing too many news (as often) about the pandemic, people stopped wearing masks, travel seemed to return to normal, and yes there will be news of cases spiking here and there sometimes in the year.

I kind of have seen this back 3 years ago. Some experts have predicted this is how the pandemic will end. It will not. HAHA. It will just turn into an endemic, we'll live with it just like how we live with the flu and cold. I don't think there's no way we can -completely- eradicate it from earth.

To be frank I don't know how I should treat COVID-19 anymore. Ever since we've lifted the restrictions here, I've stopped wearing mask unless I'm indoor or in crowded places. I do wear mask when I'm sick or unwell too. I guess I have accepted that we're going into endemicity soon.

Don't you think and feel that we've gone "numb" from this pandemic? I think right now we'll just have to make decisions that is for the benefit of ourselves and others. And follow guidelines given from the experts and the government. I'm just tired of living in fear heh.

The past 3 years have been super tiring. It's the strangest and most tiring 3 years for all of us (or maybe 2-2.5, since we've kinda returned to normal in 2022). But things just felt so weird. It felt like we're living in a different reality these past few years. Like we've entered a new world now.

I'm just waiting for the WHO to announce the end of the pandemic. Or to at least tell us that we're gonna live with it. I don't know what's next "medically" and "socially" for us. Perhaps we'll take yearly booster shots, or we'll just maintain social responsibility. But I'm already seeing this waning. I mean I do know people who are showing flu symptoms but are not wearing masks.

When I look at the news I feel bittersweet. I feel happy that we've made it this far. But I also think of the people who had lost the battle. I wish they're still here witnessing the end of this madness. I can't help but think how many lives can be saved, and deaths prevented.

But I guess now we have a new battle going on. We've learned how comorbidities increased the risk of deaths during the pandemic. So I guess now we'll have to enter a battle of preventing and treating chronic diseases. Most (or all) of which can be prevented with a plant-based diet (cough cough) and active lifestyle. So yup, I guess we have a new battle now!

Anyway just give a pat on your back everyone. We've made it this far, despite of the madness and chaos that we went through in the past 3 years. And also just send out love to everyone who had lost the battle. And to everyone who has lost someone. This world is a terrifying place. But we're a tribe that's capable of showing love and kindness. And make this place a slightly better place.

Where You're Supposed To Be

Right today is the last day of our long Lebaran holiday! I'm always sad when it comes to an end (also cause I'm still nursing my cold heh). But at the end of this yearly holiday, I'm always reminded by the beautiful and serendipitous fact that... I'm right where I'm supposed to be. So there's no need to be sad!

After 6 years, I think I've grown accustomed to spend this yearly Lebaran holiday at home. Of course there are days and times I wish that I can spend it somewhere else, overseas and so on. But year every year I'm just reminded by this fact. That I'm right where I'm supposed to be.

There are different instances during this holiday when I feel that this fact resonates loudly within me. Of course, I don't have to spend a holiday to be reminded of this fact. I think this yearly holiday serves as a yearly reminder heh. While you might wish to be somewhere else, I guess there's a reason why you're not there. But perhaps you don't need a reason. You just have to be here.

Okay I'm not making much sense but you get it!

Alright that's all for this year's Lebaran holiday blogging. I think I'm gonna make this a tradition alongside Blogtober and so on. It's quite fun blogging like my young self again. Blogging random ass things with photos included in the posts haha. I hope you had a great holiday too. See you soon!

Cold

Not sure if I should be happy or sad, but I'm currently nursing a cold. I'm not sure if I should be happy that I caught it last night, on the last few days of the holiday, or to be sad that I have to spend the last few days of the holiday nursing a cold haha. I guess I'll choose happiness!

You know you're sick when your parents are saying how hot the weather is, but here you are feeling cold shivering under the blanket hah. Okay not sure if it's the weather, or the fact that I sleep with my windows opened (it's an Indonesian thing), or simply because there's a cold bug flying around. Cause yep, everyone around me is falling sick with a cold-like symptom heh. I guess that's that.

Hope everyone is staying safe and healthy!