#30 - A Party

I guess what I've learned about life in these 30 years?

"Life is the art of showing up uninvited to a party you didn't know exist"

#29 - Find Peace

The faster you find peace/make peace with life's messiness, the faster you will find happiness.

Life is messy, it is never a smooth road. Make peace with this. 

#28 - Choose Your Mountain

This is something I learned in the recent years. I wrote this here before in my blog.

"You can climb a thousand mountains in a day
or climb a mountain in a thousand days,
as long as you enjoy the climb.
Because I see no point in reaching the summit,
when you don't even enjoy the climb"

Choose your mountains well. And the way you climb them too. 

#27 - Strive In Gratitude

Being grateful is something I always strive for. And it's not just in terms of materialistic views, but also in terms of literally everything! I think the easiest way is to be grateful for every morning that we wake up to. To enjoy the simple things and so on. Like the Buddha says in Dhammapada:

"Contentment is the greatest wealth"
Dhammapada Chapter 15 Verse 204

#26 - On Money

I'd like to quote one of my favourite Chinese sayings here.

"金钱不是万能 ,没钱万万不能"

Basically it means money isn't everything, but without money we can't do many things.

I feel like the older I grow, the more I feel this! Yes sure, money isn't everything. But you just realised you need money for a lot of things in this world. You can't deny that.

Well I'd like to heed my father's teachings. Use money as a tool, don't turn it into a destination.

#25 - Hope Is Important

Would like to quote the late Thich Nhat Hanh for this one:

"Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear.
If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today."

Have hope. Not too much, never too little. Just have hope. :)

#24 - Love Yourself

Love yourself, cause no one else will.

This is the only place you have to live. The only vessel you will have to roam around this planet. If you don't love it, how are you going to live in peace and joy?

One of my favourite quotes comes from Jim Rohn.

"Take care of your body, it's the only place you have to live"

And I guess loving yourself means loving everything. Your body, your mind and your heart.

#23 - Embrace Who You Are

As we grow older, we will learn more about ourselves. We will learn who we are, and who we are not. I guess part of being a human being is to truly embrace who we are. With a reminder that nobody is perfect. We all have flaws that we need to correct. But we also have beauties that we can be proud of. We have this we cannot change. And that, we should embrace too. 

#22 - Then Being Kind Will Follow

I'm always left with this question: What is the limit of kindness (if there's any)? Is what I'm doing coming out of compassion or something else? I suppose I have found my answer. From my experience, always do something right first. Compassion will just follow you.

#21 - Discern What Is Right And Wrong

I guess it's important to do this first. This has many factors to consider. For example your values and principles. But personally I just ask myself: Am I hurting anyone? Is it them who is hurting, or their ego? Try to reason as much as possible with logic and compassion.

#20 - Don't Make Your Life Difficult

I'd just like to quote one of my favourite quotes from Confucius. 

"Life is simple, but we insist of making it difficult"

So don't.

#19 - You Are Not Alone

Continuing from the previous lesson, this is just a reminder that we're not alone in this world. And therefore we have to be responsible for our own actions and their impacts on others. And also remember that we are not alone. There are other people around you whom you can seek help from. 

And if you can, help them too.

In a summary, don't be selfish heh.

#18 - Be Responsible

We are responsible for many things. and you should try to hold on to do and accomplish these responsibilities. The things we do will in one way or another have an impact on someone else. Make sure these are positive impacts. Don't make others' life miserable because of your actions.

#17 - Have Time For Yourself

The older I grow, the lesser time I have for myself. Everyday we are so occupied with things that we rarely have time for ourselves. Time we spend on taking care of ourselves, both our mind and body. Well unless you're a social butterfly, don't forget to have some time for yourself! Whatever you call it; me-time, healing, and so on. Just remember to take care of yourself. 

Thirty

Right, the day is finally here. I'm finally 30! Am I dreading this day? Not really. Although yes I've been jokingly telling people that I'm 18 hah. I'm just really both shocked and fascinated at how fast time is flying. Like I'm 30 now? Whew. Did I just spend 3 decades here on earth haha.

I don't really know how to feel today. There isn't much inspiration and thoughts that I have. I was expecting to sit in front of my laptop feeling inspired on what to write but not really. You see I feel that as I grow older, I don't see celebrating your birthday as a necessity. I just see it as another ordinary day. A day when you were born. And as I grow older I realised, what's so special about this day?

I used to think that it's a day where you celebrate your milestones or what you have achieved all these years. But I no longer see the point of this either. Now, in fact, I feel that life is getting tougher as time passes by. So I did ask myself like... What's there to celebrate really.

I feel more of a sense of gratitude, fatigue and wonder, that I manage to go through another year. In the past 365 days, I did go through some dark patches. Questioning my existence and wondering why I'm here. I think it's quite a journey. The past 30 years have been quite an odyssey.

I guess growing old wasn't as picturesque as I imagined it to be. Three decades of being human felt incredibly tiring, with the past decade being the toughest in my opinion. But it is also the one where I learned the most. Where I made friends with reality. Where I learned a lot about this world, about money, about life. And most importantly, I have learned a lot about myself.

In the past 3 decades, I have experienced my fair share of dark and rough days. Yet I have also experienced its triumphs and happiness. So I just pray that I have the strength to carry on, to move forward. There are days where life feels like an endless of suffering. But there are also many days where I'm reminded of impermanence. So I guess you just have to hold on.

I just love to remind myself that perhaps there are still things that I've yet to know. Places that I've yet to see. And stories that I will have to write. And I guess, I just need to learn how to bear the unbearable!

Am I excited for the years ahead? Yes. Am I afraid for what's coming? Yup. Do I have to just stop and do absolutely nothing? Hell no! I guess I'll just have to learn to be more mindful of everything as usual. We'll just learn our ropes as we go along. And along the way we'll be a better, stronger, wiser and most importantly, more mindful person! Because this life is a merry-go-round. 

You just gotta enjoy the ride sometimes.

Oh well it's been a wild wild ride these past 30 years. Here's to a better, stronger, wiser and more mindful next 30 years! Anyway if I can sum up these 30 years, I guess life is the art of showing up uninvited to a party that you didn't know exist. And as always, if I can sum life in 6 words:

it will always find a way.

Happy birthday to me.

#16 - Connections Are Important

I'm not sure if it's because of these 2 years of pandemic, or just life in general, but I realised that human interactions/connections are important. Yes, I am an introvert. But to spend time with someone and interacting with them is such a magical feeling.

And I think this branches out to many other things as well. Things like community, kinship, etc. I guess humans have come a long way because of this; our ability to gather as a community.

But of course just don't mix around with the wrong people. 

#15 - Learn New Things

Anything! Always be eager to learn new things. Be it new knowledge, or skills. Or even the habit of reading books. But of course, make sure you have an interest in it first.

I've been making it a habit to read new books every year. I'm kinda lagging behind this year eeep.

#14 - On Going Vegan

One of the greatest things I learned in life is that I don't actually need animal products to survive, live and thrive! Going vegetarian in 2016 was way easier that I imagined it to be. And it took me 3 years to finally turn vegan. One of the regrets I have after becoming vegetarian is why didn't I do it sooner heh. Well if you can live without killing animals, I don't see the reason why you shouldn't!

#13 - Travel, If You Can

I used to be an avid traveler. But also being someone with other responsibilities, I know traveling is going to be something challenging. My trip to Iceland in 2014 taught me a great lesson. I surely think that spending 5 days there isn't enough. But I realise, that period was the only time I have. so I guess I'll just make the best out of my time. Thus I came up with a line:

"Travel not because you have to. Travel because you can."

#12 - Journaling Is Awesome

Well I wish I could have started journaling earlier in life. But I guess these 12 years is good enough to teach me how awesome journaling is. I used to love blogging and feel that it is enough but there's something hugely different with journaling. It feels more exclusive, more personal and all in all, therapeutic. 10/10 would recommend to everyone. 

#11 - Continue Doing What You Love

Continue doing what you love, even if you don't do it for a living. Be it a hobby, a passion, or a side job. Even if you do it once a week, once a month or so on. Take some time in your life to do what you love. You don't have to be great in doing it! Just do it constantly and do it with pride.

Don't be caught in the rat race and be frowned in responsibilities and expectations of what this world has for us. This thing that you love, is part of who you are. So be proud of it!

#10 - Blooming Flowers

The flowers have taught me a wonderful lesson:

"You cannot stop a flower from blooming, as much as you cannot stop life from unraveling what it has in store for you. So be brave, have faith and keep going. Cause you can't stop the flower from blooming"

#9 - Timing of Life

I guess there are two ways you can view life as. That perhaps it is an unfortunate/fortunate thing that many wrong/great things are happening at the same time, or... That things are just simply happening. Time is a mystery and so is life. So when these two things are combined, you will get some unexplainable stuff. Perhaps it's just best to take it as life's great timing. And we'll just have to learn to be brave, courageous and mindful to take it one step at a time, and be present in life's great timing.

#8 - Trust The Process

I know how tormenting it is to be put into the unknown. To constantly ask yourself what is going to happen next and what/how things are going to turn out. But I guess the best thing that we can do and ought to do is to just trust the process. And I guess this is a practice of mindfulness. To not think of other things, and simply be here. To remind yourself again what is within your control and what is not.

#7 - The 3 Don'ts In Life

I have a 3 Don'ts in life that I try to train myself to abide to.

1. Don't ask questions that no one knows the answer to
2. Don't tell yourself things that you don't know
3. Don't create things that don't exist.

3 fairly simple instructions that are... Rather difficult to execute.

#6 - Add Some Spirituality

Sometimes I don't consider myself as a religious person. But I do prefer to call myself a spiritual one. I believe spirituality is your ability to accept something that your calculated logic can't comprehend. For example, holding on to things, holding on to a hope. Or when things go in a serendipitous fashion and so on. It's not really good (in my opinion) to live your life like a calculated machine. 

I guess this is when spirituality comes in. You can believe in God, the universe, mother nature or anything. Or you can believe in the great emptiness, or simply just be a spiritual person.

#5 - Be A Realist

Most of my life, I've always considered myself as an optimist. And I dislike pessimists. But as I grow older I realise what a joy it is to become a realist! I suppose being a realist is someone who's rooted in reality. Like the saying goes, the optimist always has the ability to look on the bright side of a problem, while the pessimist always has the ability to find a problem in every solution haha. I guess the realist is someone who reminds both of them what can be done and should be done.

Being a realist is also less tiring. You don't have to constantly hold on to an imaginary hope or illusionary suffering. But boy it is tough to be one. 

Cause your ego confides you to seek comfort in these two!

#4 - Have An Open Mind

One of the best advices I've received is from Ms Joanne Lin, who's my lecturer in SP that taught me immunology. Well she once told us that "When you try new things, go to a new place and so on, keep an open mind". I guess this advice is applicable to life in general. To just keep an open mind and not let your mind judge things before you even do something. After you have experienced things, that's when we should "generate" mental and emotional formations of that experience.

It's been 10 years since I received this advice and it has never left me behind! Thank you Ms Lin.

#3 - Be Mindful

Mindfulness is something I want to achieve in life. I suppose I have learned that there is something greater than happiness. and not feeling sad. It is being mindful. And I strive to be mindful in everything. How I talk, how I act and most importantly, how I think and feel. 

I want to reach that level of mindfulness where nothing can hurt me anymore. 

#2 - Train Your Mind

I learned that our mind is a powerful thing. Sometimes it can be more powerful than our bodies, in terms of strength. Our mind can let you do things that our bodies can't do. It can give you hell, or put you in an eternal heaven. So train your mind. Don't let it go haywire. 

Because the difference between heaven and hell, is a peace of mind #punintended.

#1 - Remember Impermanence

Impermanence doesn't just refer to the end of things. You should also remember it as change - how nothing remains the same. Change is the only constant in this world. So when things seem rough, remember that they will not remain forever. And of course the same goes when things are bright. 

As I always believe, Impermanence Keeps Me Going.