In 2015...

 Thank you

Right! It's the dawn of the last day of the year. Can you fucking believe it! 365 days of the year just went by like a snap of a finger. It feels like yesterday when 1/1/15 just happened. I can still remember on the first day of the year, I got so hungover from finishing a bottle of wine by myself, that I spent it on my bed trying to get rid of my nausea and headache haha. I will not let history repeat itself.

2015 has been a very weird year for me. To be honest, turning 23 felt weird. It is such a funny and confusing age when I think about it. I feel like it's the "midpoint" of our life between leaving our youth and becoming an adult. Feels like I'm too young to make decisions, yet the world is asking me to make them. When I do make them, I'm filled with doubts, and when I don't, I'm filled with doubts too.

Let's go back to day one of the year. 2015 was a blank page for me. A blank page of a book without lines on it. It was a huge blank canvas. I didn't know what to expect in this year, and neither was I expecting things in this year. I mean unlike in 2014, I was so eager and determined to go to Iceland. So at least there was something that I look forward to plan, and turn it into a realisation. 

I didn't even have any resolutions, unlike 2014. Well I did have one, it was only one. I want to make 2015 a year of organisation. Cause I feel like 2014 was rather "messy" for me so I was really trying to plan things out so that things become more organised and easier to handle. I was also aspiring to improve the flower business, since we increased our population back in November 2014 and March 2015. So there were a few things we have to sort out as well. Which as of today, I think we've achieved!

I only wrote my 3rd resolution of day-83 of the year. My 3rd resolution is to "study" Buddhism. I want to get to know this religion of mine better. Which I did! I spent a few months reading up articles about Buddhism and jot them down in this book of mine. Although by mid-May, I realised Buddhism is not a religion you "study" and read, but a religion that you have to put into practice (just like every other religions I suppose). So I kinda stopped this resolution midway. 

But now I've been putting them into practice. Not in a most wonderful way, but slowly, I will get there. Cause I really want to walk on the path of the Buddha. Slowly, but surely.

So yup, I only had 3 resolutions this year. I failed the 2nd one, which was to do small exercises everyday. I stopped after my Aus trip. I think working out is just not my forte. But anyway I'm not sure if I should be happy or sad that my weird on 1st of Jan this year, and my weight as of today is the same. Happy cause it means I didn't gain weight, but also sad cause I didn't lose any :l

I'm not sure if this is a good method; not having any resolution at the beginning of this year, but building them up as the year goes by. But I can definitely ensure you that it's a great way to achieve all of your resolutions. Because you will work towards them step by step. And you won't be "burdened" by loads of resolutions at the beginning of the year which might turn you off halfway.

2015 was a weird year for me too cause it is the year that sort of opened my eyes really big, reminding me that "hello we have all grown up now!". Seeing my parents, my siblings (who are all married now), my cousins and the people around me, make me really sad to know that we've all grown up. Well we can't stay as kiddos forever. But it just feels so bizarrely weird. My cousins are working adults now, who are working out of town, or running their shops and so on. It's so weird.... But beautiful.

It really sort of woke me up. It made me think and feel more "rationally" as adults, and no longer as someone young who loves to have fun. Part of me doesn't want to become an adult but part of me is excited to know the things that I might be doing in the future. Well, here's a cheer for our bright future!

365 days ago, on the eve of 2015, I thanked 2014 for whatever that had happened in that year. Because 2015 is going to be a great year because of all of these things that had happened. The lessons I've learned, the people I've met, the things that happened and things that didn't have definitely shaped who I am as a person today. And I'm always thankful for that. 

I used to have this habit of "labeling" my year. It was a good/bad/so-so/normal/adventurous/exciting year and so on. But in 2014 and 2015, I actually ran out of words to "label" my year. 2014 was a serendipitous year for me. But I couldn't "label" it as a good or bad year. And I share the same sentiment for 2015. I do however, feel that 2015 was a better year! Cause of what I said above.

I suppose as we grow up, we no longer see a year as a period of time of 365 days. I think I see it as a milestone. Sort of a check point to see what we have done so far. The good, the bad and so on. And well like I said, it is the things that happened in the year that really shaped us as a person. You can let these things destroy you, or make you into a stronger and better person.

You see, I think I'm going to stop labeling the years as a good, bad or normal year. I am going to believe that every new year, is going to be the best year I'm going to have in my life. I am going to make the things that happened in this year shape me into a better person, who will then make the coming year a better year than before. And I am going to continue doing this till I die. To a point where I get better every year, as a human being. If I believe that everyday is a good day, some days are better, I'm going to put this into the context of the year too. 

I've always believed that one day life is going to force you to live in the present. I suppose this is such moment for me? I'm going to stop worrying about the future and clings less to the past. Let's just make every new year, the best year that we are going to have in life. The year where we can share our hopes and determination with other people. Where we can help ourselves and help other people to have better lives, and really alleviate them from their suffering. 

On the other hand, the world has suffered enough in this year as well. And every night I always pray for everyone's happiness and safety. We cannot lose hope. We must always believe in love! I don't know what life has in store for the world next year. But I hope we can all be nicer to one another, help one another and make this world a better place before all of us leave our bodies eventually.

Whew, 2015. What a year you have been. Thank you for everything you have given me, taken away from me, taught me, made me forget, reminded me, and so on. Because you are someone who will help me make 2016 a great and awesome year. And I hope we can make 2016 a better year ahead. 

I hope you had a wonderful 2015. And I wish you all the best for the new year.

See you next year!

2015 Rewind

It's the second last day of the year, and it's time to do a rewind! Just a look back on the memorable and awesome things that happened in this year. Whew, 2015 is coming to an end real soon. It is the fastest year I've ever been in. Oh well, here goes! In chronological order that is. 

We've both grown up :P

My cousin got married back in January and it is definitely a memorable trip to Pekanbaru with my family! This cousin of mine whom I once spent a lot of time playing with together (with my cousins and sister) is married now! She just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl as well, who is such a cute baby haha. Somehow this trip is a reminder for me again, that time is flying so quickly.

My cheeky nephew on his birth day this year!

My cheeky nephew turned one in January as well! Seeing him grown from day 0 up till now is kind of an amazing journey. It's the first time in my life that I'm close with a baby and where I watch him grow. He's a cheeky and naughty (almost 2 year old) boy who has learned how to walk and is now uttering words (in a very cute way). Can't wait to see him grown up! He's attending playgroup next year. 

Cap go meh

Cap Go Meh (or Ji-it meh) was also another memorable day for me. It was my first time attending this procession in a very very long time. It's pretty heart warming to see the spirit of the community in this day. People carrying the deities' sedan, taking turns to carry and so on. Makes me really proud to be someone who comes from this humble town. Looking forward to next year's procession! 

Record Store Day 2015!

Another memorable event was Record Store Day 2015! It's my first RSD and I loved it. Seeing people, who like me, share the passion and belief that music still needs a physical manifestation, gather together in this event felt really awesome. I'm proud to discover such a community in my country, and I will definitely go for each RSD from now onwards! Especially since I own a vinyl player now hah.

You dream of a place that you can never see

My trip to Australia, AKA my project wanderlust 2015, is definitely a highlight of the year! My goal in life is to set my feet on every continent of this world. I've been wanting to go to Aussie and I'm glad I did! Although to be honest I wish I can stay longer there. Nevertheless, special thanks again to Candy, Vithya and Yiyin for being awesome hosts in Brisbane! And to Jesslyn and Candy for being wonderful travel partner in my Melbourne leg of the journey. I will never forget our trip to the Great Ocean Road. 

WSATCC Konser Di Cikini

Unlike 2014, I didn't manage to attend lots of gigs. In fact I only went to one, which is White Shoes and The Couples Company konser di Cikini. Which was definitely a night I will remember for life. I've been wanting to go for their concert and I'm glad that I booked the ticket way before the concert cause it was sold out very quickly haha. They are definitely my favourite Indonesian band. And I hope they will release a new album soon or something. Hoping to catch them live again as well! 

Thanks for coming lovelies!

Having Brenda and Jeslyn came over to my hometown for a weekend back in November was definitely a memorable weekend of the year too! Trekking to Curug Cibereum is definitely my adventure of the year. It's so exciting, exhilirating and... Tiring. A beat freaky too especially when we found out the stream we were suppose to cross became uncrossable haha. Thank you for spending your weekend with me, in my humble hometown! I hope we can travel together again some day :D

Officially the unmarried child of the family HAHA

Last but not least, my sister's wedding is also another memorable day of the year. A tad sad too, knowing this sister of mine whom I've spent a lot of time with is now a married lady. But well, life goes on! A bit stressed out as well cause it means that I'm the only unmarried child of the family haha. And everyone's asking "when is your turn". Oh dear, I'll reply them, kapan kapan! (Someday)

Yup these are some of the awesome things that happened in 2015. I'm sure there are more happy and great things that happened but these are the major ones. Business wise, we're doing well in this year as compared to 2014. Lots of improvements, and also I did achieve my resolution which was to tidy up the documentation and readings of the sales and stuff. I still think that I have room for improvements and I will always try to get better and better in the coming year! 

There's no other way to go but uuuuppppp!

My meditation is doing well in this year too. I'm going to try and improve my meditation sessions everyday next year. I don't know why but I still feel that I'm lacking something heh. I will never stop this practice of mine. It has helped me a lot and I definitely one to have its benefits envelope my life and make me a better person. Do try meditation if you can alright! It helps a lot for me. 

Alright I guess that's all for this post. I'm going to blog on another post about my thoughts and feelings I have about this year, and my hopes and aspirations for the next! See ya :)

Great Music of 2015

It's the end of the year once again, and just like last year I'm going to share with you the awesome music I've discovered in this year! I must say that 2015 is kind of a great year for music? Lots of wonderful albums, and I also discovered lots of great bands and artists in 2015. 

Hmm I don't even know where to start. Okay lets begin with the list of artists/bands I discovered in this year. This is quite a long list but here goes! In no particular order.

Great artists/bands discovered:

[] Favela [] Years and Years [] Szymon [] Day Wave [] Hazel English [] Prep [] Oh Wonder 

[] Marco Marche [] Rhye [] Grimes [] A Silent Film [] Woman's Hour [] Stars and Rabbit [] SOAK

[] Mideau [] Say Lou Lou [] Danilla [] Rhodes [] Aquilo [] Yumi Zouma [] Aurora [] Jess Glynne

PS: Sorry for the weird way to list, trying to save space! :P

I want to say a special thank you to YouTube for letting me discover most of these great and talented people! Well I do discovered some from Soundcloud as well. And also thank you to Brenda for introducing Years and Years and Aquilo to me! Cause I really love Years and Years haha. I discovered Oh Wonder last year actually, but only started listening to their monthly-released songs since January.

Alright let's move on to the best albums of the year! Similarly in no particular order

Great albums of 2015:

- How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful by Florence and The Machine

- Before We Forget How to Dream by SOAK

- Beneath The Skin by OMAM

- Oh Wonder by Oh Wonder

- Tigersapp by Chvrches

- Communion by Years and Years

- The Chopin Project by Olafur Arnalds and Alice Sara Ott

- Every Open Eye by Chvrches

- Tigersapp by Szymon

- Dark Sky Islands by Enya

- 25 by Adele

- A Head Full of Dreams by Coldplay

- Artangels by Grimes

Best album of the year: Tigersapp by Szymon and Every Open Eye by Chvrches 

Sorry I have to give it a tie cause I really love both albums hahaha. I just discovered Szymon this year and I truly fell in love with his music right away, when I gave his album a full listen. As for EOE, I'm a huge fan of Chvrches and I really feel that this is a wonderful and beautiful sophomore album from them. They've been teasing us with some songs and when the album came out, boom. I just love their songs from their new album so much! I really hope that I can see them on their next tour live :D

Okay last but not least, here are some of my favourite songs from this year, in no particular order:

Great songs of 2015

[] Easy Yoke by Favela [] White Light and 2Shy by Shura [] Golden by Szymon

[] Clearest Blue by Chvrches [] Cheapest Flight by Prep [] Heart Hope by Oh Wonder

[] Realiti by Grimes [] The Brae by Yumi Zouma [] Sea Creatures by Soak

[] When We Were Young by Adele [] A Head Full of Dreams by Coldplay [] King by Y&Y

[] Diamonds On The Water by Enya [] Runaway by Aurora [] Senja dan Mentari by Marco Marche

[] Drag by Day Wave [] It's Not Real by Hazel English [] Hold my Hand by Jess Glynne

Best song of the year: White Light by Shura 

Okay I actually discovered more music and artists than the list above. But if I were to list down everything err it's gonna take a very long time and I'm very lazy hahaha. But anyway if there's one song that's been in my playlist most of the time in this year, it would be Shura's White Light! Although it was released in July, I've been spamming this song on Soundcloud and Youtube haha. I am so excited for 2016 cause Shura's going to release her album! Not sure when, but I will wait for you~ Oh and Aurora is releasing her debut album as well, which I've preordered! Can't wait for it :D

Yup so this is my list of music discovery in this year! Feeling really awesome because I have discovered lots of music in this year hehe. Awesome, great music! I am excited and eager to discover more music in the coming new year! And trust me, YouTube is an awesome place to discover music really. Anyway I'm excited for a few bands/artists whom I think are going to release their new album next year! Like Empire of The Sun, One Republic and Low Roar.

And perhaps some new material from Sigur Ros.

Alright that's all for now. Thank you 2015 for the beautiful music, I'm ready for more in 2016! :)

I really can't, and don't want to imagine what my life would be without music.

Vinyl

Just another time I'm caught inside, every open eye <3

Today I finally tried something I've been wanting to try for a long time! Yup as seen from the photo above, I've finally tried to use my record player mwahaha. I actually bought it last week on Tuesday. However there are a lot of things I need to "complete" the player. I need a voltage step-down adapter and an external speaker. I was afraid that I couldn't find all of these in my hometown but today I did!

I've been wanting to own a record player for quite some time now. Well as you know I've been an avid CD collector. Some people might debate saying that the only proper "physical form" of music comes in vinyls and not CD. Well to me as long as it comes in a physical form (casette/CD/vinyl), they are still physical heh. But I've been drawn to vinyls because people say that they offer a much better sound quality. Although it also depends majorly on the speaker and amplifier you use.

I have like more than a hundred CDs now, and I'm interested to start collecting vinyls, and play them as well! I was being a bit contemplative because first of all this hobby ain't a cheap one. A record here can cost from 300-500 thousand rupiah! Because shipping fees are such a bitch haha. My record player itself costs 2.7 million rupiah (equivalent of 270 SGD). But after researching online, it's worthy of an investment. And record store day this year, taught me why it's an investment!

Brenda gave me Chvrches' EOE vinyl as a birthday present (actually I asked her to buy it for me, but she decided to give it to me instead, so thank you Brendy!! :D). I remember when I first opened it, it felt really special. It's a totally different feel as compared to opening a CD heh. It definitely feels more"physical". And when I spinned it for the first time just now. I was just so amazed.

Prior to getting a record player, I have been researching lots of things about vinyls. How to take care of it, how it's made and so on. I was just pretty awed by the fact that the music that came out of my speaker, were formed from the grooves of the vinyl. It's just amazing really. Well after all, this is the first time in my life that I ever own a record, and play it on a record player. I was born in the cassette era, and I grew up in the CD era. I've never seen or touched a vinyl before (except during RSD haha).

Well I'm really looking forward to expanding my record collection. It is indeed an expensive hobby. But I won't go crazy like I am with CDs. I will only buy a record that I really really really love, or a record that I share special value in it. So far I have 3 albums: Chvrches' EOE, Szymon's Tigersapp and Kings of Convenience's Declaration of Dependence, which is my favourite album from KOC.

Anyway since we're talking about music, time to share you my music discovery of December!

Great Music of December

- Water Under The Bridge by Adele

- When We Were Young by Adele

- Diamonds On The Water by Enya

- The Humming by Enya

- A Head Full of Dreams by Coldplay

- Up&up by Coldplay

- You and I by Sloslylove

- Flesh Without Blood by Grimes

- Realiti by Grimes

- Tibet (A Passage To) by Tibet Project

Okay not gonna talk about Adele, Enya and Coldplay since I talked about them in my previous posts!

I discovered Sloslylove from another music channel on YouTube called Sensei Radio, which was the channel that I discovered Shura last year! They uploaded Sloslylove's You and I and oh my I really love the whole synth and 80s vibe that they have. I checked their bandcamp page out and bought their whole album! I love the album a lot. Cause of the awesome vibe that they gave me. Well like I once said, I love anything with synths haha. Do check them out! :)

As for Grimes, I actually discovered her earlier in this year when her video for Realiti appeared on my recommended page. When I read the description about how she lost the ableton file and how this song won't be in the album, I was a bit bummed. But when I found out that she was releasing Art Angels, and that the demo version of Realiti is included in the physical copy, I quickly went to get it! :D I really love the album as well. No wonder some music publications named it album of the year.

I came across the song Tibet (A Passage To) in YouTube as well. I discovered this channel which has videos of Thai monks chanting some verses from the Sanghanusati with background music. It's super calming! And then this song appeared on the recommended tab as well and I fell in love with it. Well I just love chilout music. Especially when it has some oriental feel to it heh.

Alright that's all for now! I'm going to do a "Music of 2015" post tomorrow! 2015 has been an awesome year of music discovery to be honest. I discovered more music in this year as compared to last. Alrighty see you soon! Music, forever.

Aware

 Be still

Right I've been wanting to blog about this for quite some time. I suppose it's a good time to blog now, since it's the end of the year! Well I'm gonna talk about something I've been doing throughout the year now. In fact, something I've been doing for 1.5 years. It's about meditation!

I started meditating back in July 2014, after reading Sogyal Rinpoche's The Tibetan Book of The Dead and Living. Actually I only began properly meditating in September-ish, since I was still meditating on and off cause of my Iceland trip and also I wasn't that focused yet. Well I decided to carry on this new habit of mine to the new year, and I've been meditating almost every day of the year now! There are some days when I didn't meditate, like when I travel or when I'm sick. I can safely say that out of 365 days of this year, the number of days which I didn't meditate won't hit 20 (or 30).

I used to meditate back when I was in Singapore. But I only meditate when I want to. It wasn't something I "practised". Also, after reading the book and other materials, I realised how terribly wrong my technique was. So I used to believe that the aim of meditation is to empty your mind. But I realised that your mind is so awesome. The more you tried to empty it, the more it will fill itself up with things.

The key to meditation is to be aware of your thoughts, and then let it go. Don't cling onto them! I always remember the words of Shunryu Suzuki Roshi who said "In meditation, leave your front door and back door open. Let thoughts come and go, just don't serve them tea!". So yes, just let whatever arised in your mind go, and don't let it go wild like an untamed beast running freely.

To be honest, I was very skeptical and I was unsure myself. How does sitting in your room, letting go of whatever thoughts that came to your mind, would help you. All I know is that from the sources I read, from people I talk with (like my uncle, who's an avid meditation practitioner) and books, they all come to a conclusion that meditation will train your awareness and help you to become more mindful.

I still don't get it. What do you mean by being mindful? Being aware?

But well, I went ahead and tried it myself. I remember the first time I meditate, I was super ambitious by telling myself that I will meditate for 30 minutes. I couldn't even sit still for 5 minutes heh. I kept on looking at the clock, I kept on fidgeting, and it felt difficult. Then I remember Sogyal Rinpoche's advice of just meditating for 5 minutes everyday. He said it's better that we have a good 5 minute meditation than a horrible 10 minute meditation. And from there, we develop ourselves.

I followed the Vajrayana meditation technique. Where I chant mantras during my meditation. It's the classic Tibetan mantra of "Om mani padme hum", which is the mantra of Avalokitesvara, the Boddhisatva of compassion. Or the mantra of Padmasambhava which reads "Om ah hung vajra guru padma sidhi hum". And I find chanting mantras a great way to keep your mind focused. My mind wasn't running wild anymore. And I realised that my meditation duration increased day by day.

I also tried Samatha (calm-abiding) meditation in which I focused on my breaths. Special thanks to Mindah Lee Kumar (The Enthusiastic Buddhist) for helping me in this meditation through her videos on YouTube! You can check her channel out here. I really love this technique because it also helped me to focus my mind and really helps to calm myself down. Especially when I'm feeling crappy.

Although most of the time, I practise the Vajrayana meditation technique.

As for how I meditate, well I just simply sit cross-legged on my bed (sorry no other place to sit on haha). Closed my eyes and just calm my mind down first. This would probably take about 3 minutes? And then I begin chanting and chanting, up to a point where I (somehow) just quieten myself down, and just mouth the mantra without a sound. And then to a point where I just simply... Kept quiet.

I think the chanting is sort of a vehicle that brings my mind to a quiet and focused state. 

I've been meditating at 10 minutes a day now (sometimes longer, and more than once a day). And well I kind of feel different. Not sure how to really explain it. I remember the words of Sogyal Rinpoche too. He mentioned in the book how meditation practice (or Buddhist practice in general I think) is not an A to B practice, where we expect "results" after doing it for a certain amount of time. In fact we have to do it throughout our lifetime. And hopefully carry it on to the next life. So if you expect to become a Buddha after meditating for 3 months, a year, 10 years, and so on, I suggest you don't :P

What I truly agree about meditation is that it really trains your mind. I've always believed that our mind is a very very powerful thing in this world. You feed it with things, and it will become those things. And in our daily life, our mind is constantly being fed with a lot of things. Good things, bad things and so on. And without training, these things can just grow into beautiful and scary things without our conscience!

After meditating for a year, I asked myself a question:

Are we truly aware of what we do, say and think? Because if we do, we'll be the happiest person on earth. We know what to do, say and think to avoid all the unhappiness and suffering of this life.

And judging from the unhappiness level in life around me, I am pretty sure we are not aware.

So yes I finally understood why my uncle and the books say that mediation trains our awareness. By being aware of our thoughts during meditation, we're training ourselves to be aware of our thoughts when we're not meditating. And when we're aware, we know what to say, and not to say, and hence what to do and what not to do. It truly feels enlightening coming into terms with this hah.

I kind of realised too that when there's a problem, or when I feel really crappy, I naturally ask myself. Is what I'm thinking useful? Is what I'm doing of any good use to myself and others? I know being angry doesn't solve anything. So I usually stop being angry about things. Also the practice that we are aware of how our thoughts come and go, taught me that your feelings and emotions also come and go. So don't cling onto them. It doesn't do any good to you.

I truly enjoyed meditation. It is something I look forward to every day. When I'm really really busy, I will try to fit even a 5 minute meditation. But so far I've set aside some time in my day to meditate so... It's all good. Oh I've also been chanting sutras! Been doing it for 9 months now and I also feel that chanting sutras is a great meditative process as well. In fact, the late Venerable Dr. H. Saddhatissa Mahanayaka Thero, said that almost all Buddhist practices are nothing else but some form of meditation.

Or well when you think about it, every religious practice is a form of meditation. In some way.

Of course I'm so far of becoming a master in meditation. I know how some meditation master can actually "meditate" when they're walking, eating and so on. It's because their minds are so trained that they are in a "meditative" state of mind all the time, in which they are aware of everything. And that's my goal I suppose? I don't want to be like some super awesome person who meditates perfectly. I just want to continue to train my mind, so that I can be mindful in everything I do, and hopefully help others alleviate their suffering. Because we're unaware, that we are the creators of our suffering.

Right I'm going to stop here. I really recommend you to make meditation a new practice to carry into the new year. You don't have to be a Buddhist to meditate. Just sit down and focus on your breathing. Or you can also chant your favourite religious (or anything really) saying/line/mantra etc. It's fine.

To end this post, I just want to remind you of something.

Never believe that your thoughts, feelings and emotions are citizens of your mind. 

They are nothing but visitors of your mind that come and go away. 

PS: These are just my thoughts and opinions about meditation. Do read up more about meditation if you wanna know more about it! Even up till today I'm still reading lots of articles about meditation haha. But if you wanna ask me any questions feel free to do so :)

Quiet

I just had the quietest, emptiest Christmas' eve ever, in my life. Well my brother is currently in Jakarta with his family and so it's only my parents and I in the house. My sister is in her room with her husband. It is so quiet. Like it's so brutally quiet. It was so quiet I blast music at home, which I don't usually do (I only blast music in my room heh). And I even waited for my dad to finish bathing before continuing work, cause I really dislike the silence haha. Oh well, life is life.

This is a perfect scenario to explain what I meant about life catching up with me. I know how in the good old days my family would gather together every year end. But I suppose life happened haha. I do understand we are all adults now and we have important things to settle as well. It's fine.

Somehow every year-end would remind me why going back for good is the decision I should make. I used to question my decision but now, I am affirmed that it was the right thing to do. Perhaps your heart feels incomplete when you make a decision. But as life goes by, you will find ways to make your heart complete again. Life will find you ways, your heart will find you ways. And ultimately, it is us who will decided at the end of the day if you want to take up the decision or not.

Ah well, c'est la vie. It's the only thing I would tell myself during these times.

Merry Christmas everybody :)

A Head Full of Dreams

 The wonderful albums I've been collecting for the past 10 years

So on Thursday, I received my copy of Coldplay's latest album A Head Full of Dreams! I know this sounds crazy buy I actually bought three copies of it HAHAHA. Okay here goes the story. I pre-ordered my album via their online store and it was delivered and stuff, but when I checked the status it reads "bad address, package sent back to centre" and then it reads again "package en route to delivery". 

I'm not sure what's that supposed to mean. But last week I found out that the guy whom I always buy my music from was selling the album. I couldn't wait to listen to the album so guess what. I bought it! As for the third copy, I bought another CD from the Coldplay fanbase here in Indonesia, which includes T-Shirt and some other goodies. So yep. I have 3 copies (2 coming soon) mwahaha. Don't worry I'm giving one for my cousin Febi, who's a Coldplay fans as well. The other copy... Maybe to someone.

I gave the album a proper listen on Thursday night and I really love the album. I've been watching videos where Chris was talking about the album. After giving it a proper listen, I think the album delivers what the band wants to album to deliver. About not giving up, about being happy (and thankful) of being alive. At the end of my first listen, I felt happy, blissful and energised. It's such a wonderful album!

Although well... I wouldn't say this is the best album from them. I still feel A Rush of Blood To The Head is their best album, followed by Mylo Xyloto. But from all of their albums, AHFOD gave me a feeling I never felt before from their previous albums. Well to me Coldplay songs gave me this indescribable feeling. Bliss is how I would describe it. Although the song is a sad song, or a happy song, Coldplay has the ability to give me a feeling of bliss in their songs. I don't know how to describe it.

I've known Coldplay for ten years now. I remember the first song that I listened to was "Clocks". It was after PSLE and I would go to my cousin's house to play my late aunt's keyboard. One day my sister cam and let me hear Clocks and asked if I can play it on the piano. Well after a few tries of playing by ears, I found the melodies and played them. Then I asked my sister what song is that, and who's the singer. That's how my Coldplay journey began. From then on, I've been following them!

Although by the time I discovered them, they have already released 3 albums. I bought them one by one across the years. And then they released Viva La Vida and I was so excited. I love that album a lot. I remember first listening to the song on 98.7 FM in Singapore and I was like "OMG it's Coldplay!!" and the next weekend, I bought their album haha. And Viva La Vida accompanied me throughout the end of my sec 3 life, and dragged across the middle of 2009 I think.

Coldplay has accompanied me throughout the past ten years of my life. And their songs have soundtracked some of my life's great moments. Just to name a few, Viva La Vida was my studying music in sec 3 and 4 haha. I listened to Paradise a lot when I was training for my Mt K trip, and also during the trip itself. And also Paradise has always been my running song. For a lot of my races in 2012. A Sky Full of Stars would remind me of my Iceland trip as it was playing everywhere back then.

I can see their latest album soundtracking awesome moments of my future life as well. This album gives me lots of hope! Well one of my life's to-do list is to catch them live. They're going for a tour next year and I am really hoping and praying that they will come to Indonesia. We have a lot of Coldplay fans here. I really hope that we'll be able to see them live here! If not at least come to Singapore.

Well here's a cheer to (in my opinion) the greatest band of our generation. Who accompanied me throughout the past ten years of my life, and soundtracked some of my life's great moments.

Thank you Coldplay.

Terrified

Today is one of the most terrifying day of my life. It felt like a movie, seeing everything unfold. 

So one of the machine at the factory caught fire and well it was quite huge. Thankfully the fire only happened on the machine, and it didn't spread anywhere. Somehow it felt like a miracle, how the fire only happens on that one spot. But the fire was quite huge. It's my first time seeing such a huge fire.

Thankfully apart from damages, there are no victims. And that's the most important thing.

We called the fire brigade and they came in less than 5 minutes (wow!) and while waiting for them to arrive, the workers and I tried our best to extinguish it. And also to get whatever thing that might catch fire out of the building. To be honest I was very awed by the workers. Everyone just came and rush to help, they just helped one another and it feels awesome to see them do this. Not even the factory workers but workers from my mum's shop and my sister's shop came as well.

Not only the workers, but people around the factory came to help as well. Bringing whatever they can bring to help extinguish the fire like hoses and buckets of water. Although lets be honest, the fire was so huge it can't be extinguished with these things heh. But their gestures, are just so amazing.

The fire was put out in less than an hour. It was long because they were trying to cool this heated component of the machine which was pretty stubborn to cool down to heh. But after about 45 minutes they stopped the spraying and the fire was put out completely. 

Thankful for everyone's help and hard work. This is one of the things I love most about my country and her people. That in times of difficulties or disaster, people will just help no matter where they are. There are lots of time where I was helped by random strangers without even me asking them to. So yes, thank you everyone. Terima kasih sebanyak-banyak nya :)

Well I was in a state of shock after the whole incident, for a few hours. When I saw the fire I went panic mode really, cause like I said I've never seen such a huge fire before. I was both in a state of helplessness and panic. Helpless because all I can do is to wait for the fire brigade to come, panic because... Well there's fire! I was panicking for people's safety, and also worried if the fire will spread.

2 months ago, the market at my hometown caught fire and the fire was so huge that it could be seen at my house. If I'm so terrified seeing a fire at this scale earlier today, I really can't imagine the fear that the victims of big fire disasters have. Let me be honest with you, I was feeling shocked the whole evening. It was really terrifying, even though I know the fire has been put out and that there are no victims. That fear and thought linger with me through the night. It's so weird.

Today taught me two things, firstly how wonderful the people of my country are and secondly, that things can go wrong anytime. But we have to be prepared for it. Perhaps it was really human's negligence that caused this. Or maybe it was pure accidental. I don't know but well, life is life. I just hope that none of this will take place in the future again. Ever again.

What a day. I'm just glad that everything was okay in the end (except for damages of course). Whatever happened, has happened. And I believe this happened for a reason. Perhaps it was a wake up call for us to be more careful. Or a painful lesson to learn to make us better human beings.

Catching Up

It's been a very rainy December so far. Like it literally rained every single day over here. It was bright and sunny yesterday when I woke up. But 30 minutes later, the sky was a sexy 50 shades of grey and then it just rained again. Well, we're in December. There's nothing I can do with this yearly phenomenon. At least we're still with nature where December is a rainy season. After all, it didn't rain for almost 6 months here. It's been a crazy El Nino year for us here. Hopefully it will never repeat.

Well when it didn't rain for months, people are fighting for water here. Thankfully we have enough water where we could share with the surrounding people. Now that it rained everyday, it's pretty stressful too cause the flowers take longer time to bloom! I really have a love-hate relationship with the weather.

The rain has been pretty nice sometimes, cause December is one of my favourite times of the year. The rain definitely adds to the mood to contemplate. To think about life, and everything else I didn't have the chance to think of because well, life happened. Somehow time seems to move slower, and our mind seems to grow wider in December. I am able to think of a lot of things, somehow. 

2015 has been a very weird year for me. In a neutral way. I suppose it's just a year where I am in an age of growing up. Like I am no longer a "kid" and not an adult yet. So things have been feeling weird somehow. I like to take it that life is catching up on me. Sometimes I feel that when we're young, when we're still in school, we're somehow ahead of life. Because we study for the future (right?). And we don't really come back to the present moment. Basically, to the present life.

I mean when we're studying, say for a test, we study for the test so that we can do well for the test which will add up to our GPA and help us move forward to the next semester. So in a way we're not really "studying" for the present moment. We're in a constant move to move forward. And it seems like we're always ahead of life. We study hard for the future, to chase our dreams, to land in our dream job.

I suppose when we leave school and start working, life forces you to be in the moment? Like there's no way you can "work" for tomorrow because on a daily basis, lots of things happened that make us stay in the present moment. A bad colleague that ruined our day, scoldings from our boss, when things don't work out, etc. Or maybe we have a successful meeting, a great client deal, and so on. All of these things, will be brought back to our home. And we'll deal it the next day. Not the next semester.

So you can say that the "nearest future" when we're working, is tomorrow. The next day from today. Or maybe next week. I suppose one day, life will catch up on all of us. When it does, you better be ready for it. It won't let you run away from it anymore. You either walk with it, or slow down, so that you can walk with them again. It's not a bad thing. Sometimes we just forget about life for too long.

Million Years Ago

 25

Right, moving on to talk about how I feel about Adele's new album, 25! :)

I discovered Adele back in 2011. After her hit-song "Rolling In The Deep". I've never heard of her before this but I definitely have heard of her when I found out that she's the singer of "Chasing Pavements". Cause I remember listening to that song while studying for O Levels back in 2009 in radio. So I was like oh so this is Adele heh. I really fell in love with her voice. She has such a strong vocal and I just love her personality as well. So I went ahead to buy her albums 19 and 21.

I really love 19 and to be honest I think 19 is a better album than 21. I truly admire and love how simplistic and honest 19 is. Especially the song "Hometown Glory", which to me is still the best song that she has written and sang. 21 is also a fantastic album, and I think it's a pretty honest album too. Especially after reading her stories about her previous relationship. And when she explains about the story behind "Someone Like You" in her Royal Albert Hall concert. It's so heartbreaking :(

That's why Adele songs have the ability to remind you of the ex you never had before HAHAHA.

After going on a hiatus after Skyfall, I do read on the internet that she was working on an album which is due to be released this year. And then there was no news about it. So I thought well maybe it's gonna be postponed to next year. But then on one fine evening I saw OneRepublic tweeted "Adele :)" and I went nuts haha. Then I saw Buzzfeed showing a link about Adele giving a preview of her new song through a mysterious clip on X Factor in the UK. I clicked on it and.... Felt heartbroken.

Heartbroken not because it's a horrible song, but because the first few words from her single "Hello" is so heartbreaking oh man. But days after that she announced the new single, when the album is going to be released, and notes about her album. And I was so excited to give it a listen. Because I feel I am going to feel connected about the album. And well, I felt such a way.

I remember the first time I gave the album a full listen I was just in awe. By the words from the lyrics, the melodies and everything. Especially the song "Million Years Ago", which when I first heard its preview, felt that it was kind of a weak song? I was expecting it to give a feel-ride in the same fashion as Hometown Glory. But it was accompanied with a very subtle guitar ballad. But no, the words! The words are so true, the words just stabbed my heart haha. It is definitely one of my favourites.

I also love "When We Were Young". A song which she co-wrote with Tobias Jesso Jr. I can definitely "hear" him in this song heh. I really love how wonderfully crafted the lyric of the song is... Like you look like a movie, you sound like a song and the chorus let me photograph you in this light in case it is the last time that we might be exactly like we were. Beautiful aren't they?

My favourite songs from the album are: Million Years Ago, Water Under The Bridge, River Lea, When We Were Young, Love In The Dark and of course, Hello. But overall, I think 25 is a great album. Probably her best album. But so far no songs have taken the position of Hometown Glory :P

Alright that's all from me now! I am still waiting (very) patiently for my Coldplay album to arrive. It should arrive next week or the following week. It's okay, worth the wait I suppose. And oh, my order of Szymon's Tigersapp vinyl has arrived yesterday too! It's so beautiful. But uhh I need to get myself a vinyl player first hahaha. Well yes I've decided to start collecting vinyl now! But unlike CDs, I'm just going to buy vinyls of album that I really really feel a deep connection and have a deep love for. 

Brenda has also bought for me Chvrches' EOE vinyl for my birthday present. I can't wait to play both! :D

Alrighty see you again! I hope you enjoy these albums as much as I did too :)

Diamonds On The Water

 Dark Sky Island

Alright as promised, this is my review of Enya's latest album, Dark Sky Island! Okay this is not a review, just how I feel about the album. Let me begin by telling you about how I discovered Enya!

So as some of you might now, the first time I discovered Enya was through Pei Tong's Angklung and Kulintang ensemble. I remember the first song I know from her was "Only If" (It was the first song I played with the ensemble). I didn't know who Enya is, I never heard of the song before. So back then I can't even do an internet search heh. I asked my sister to search for Enya's music. I can still remember downloading it from Kazaa, which was the 90s music downloader heh.

And then I went to HMV with my sister and we bought her album. The first album I bought was "Paint The Sky With Stars", which I'm thankful of buying first because it introduced me to a lot of her great music. There was Orinoco Flow, Caribbean Blue, Only If, Watermark and so on. That album really made me fall in love with her music. And across the years, I saved some money to buy her discography. Which I sadly lost in the middle of 2003 - 2005 either back at home or in Singapore.

From then on, Enya has become one of my favourite singers and artists. And my favourite new age artist ever. I followed her discography since then. From Amarantine in 2005, then And Winter Came in 2008. And then... She went for a hiatus with no news of any new album. Until in October when I saw her changed her Facebook's cover photo and I was just so happy! Pre-ordered the album, and waited for an extra 2 weeks after its release to receive it here and give a full listen. It's an amazing album.

Across seven years, I am glad that I'm still "listening to Enya" in this album. Dark Sky Island still has a lot of Enya's characters and trademarks. Although yes, this is her first album that she released in the age of social media. Where people can criticise her freely and happily through Facebook, YouTube and so on. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I love Dark Sky Island! Every track from it.

I think Enya mentioned somewhere that the album has the feeling of returning home after a long time, or something like that. And yes I definitely feel this! I am glad that the album is released in November because I feel it's such a special and wonderful album to listen to in the year end. Just like her song from her last album, Last Time By Moonlight. I've been listening to her songs from this album ever since it arrived. There really is a special feeling listening to them. At this time of the year.

My favourite tracks from the album are Diamonds On The Water, The Humming, Echoes In Rain, The Loxian Gate and Pale Grass Blue. The album itself is a beautiful album. The instrumentation, the layering of voices and the lyrics really blend in very well. And I feel that Enya music are timeless. Like you can listen to her songs 50 years later and still sound amazing. Because she has been pretty consistent with her music all these years. Not something many people do nowadays.

I mean a bit of experimentation is never wrong. But neither is being consistent eh.

Alright I guess that's all from me now. I recommend you getting a copy of Dark Sky Island. It's a wonderful album to listen to at the year end! See you soon, with Adele's review next :D

25 Dark Sky Islands

25 and Dark Sky Island

Mind the title, I was just thinking of a nice title for this post where I'll be talking about Adele's and Enya's new album haha. Okay not in depth but... I REALLY LOVE THE ALBUMS 

So anyway, I pre-ordered both albums like I mentioned in my previous post. This is the first time Amazon is on-point with delivery time haha. Well the expected delivery date is 3rd December but they both arrived on the 4th. No worries! At least they both arrived safely here. I'm still waiting for a few albums to arrive though. Like Coldplay's AHFOD, Grimes' Art Angels and Szymon's Tigersapp vinyl!

On Friday night I gave both albums a listen. And I just fell in love deeply with them. I think Enya's new album is definitely worth the 7 years of wait. I am glad that I am still "listening to Enya". Her character is still there, in every song of the album. Enya is the first artist that I became a fanboy of. I have been listening to her since I'm ten and till today, her songs feel truly special to me whenever I listen to them.

As for Adele's 25, oh my goodness. Almost all of her songs just stroke a string in my heart. I remember when Adele announced the release of her album back in October I think, she posted on Facebook "25 is about getting to know who I've become without realising". And I knew that this album is going to become something that I can definitely relate to! Well, it is.

I remember when I first listened to "Million Years Ago" on my discman, after the song, I just paused my discman and stare on the wall. I just felt like every word on the lyric speaks about the feelings and thoughts that I've been having for quite some time now. So... Thank you Adele haha.

I am going to write a more in depth review of both albums in another post! :)

I think 25 and Dark Sky Islands are one of 2015's best albums. I can't really seem to connect with Adele's songs cause like I said, I have never been in a relationship haha. But this album is different. It's really about getting to know who you are, and to mend a broken heart too. I really love Adele. I love her voice, her character and personality. If there's one artist that I wish I can have a conversation with (actually I want to do this with all my favourite artists heh) is actually Adele! I think she's so fun to have a conversation with. And there are so many questions that I want to ask her :P

Alright that's all for me now. More in-depth review of both albums coming soon!

Busy Bee

I just finished listening to Coldplay's gig in London which was streamed at BBC Radio 1! It's such an amazing gig and the band is sounding awesome as always. I am super excited for their new album which is going to be released tomorrow. I've pre-ordered them so I'll just have to wait for it to arrive (I don't know when). Coldplay is my favourite band seriously. I love Sigur Ros a lot. But Coldplay has stayed with me since I'm young! So they're very special to me.

Well Coldplay and Sigur Ros are to me, the best bands on earth haha.

Anyway sorry for not blogging again! I've been pretty busy the whole week, after my sis' wedding. Lots of things to do heh. And today I was just determined to finish up all the remaining work I have to do. It's kinda annoying cause work is piling up and I couldn't find the time to do them cause... I have more work haha. But nevertheless I'm done now weeeee. That's the reason why I can comfortably listen to Coldplay's stream and blog now. The past 3 nights I've been busy with work.

And guess what, this is my 100th blogpost for the year!! Hurrah. This is the first 2015 resolution that I achieved - to maintain the blog post number for the year in 100 (at least). Although I will definitely have lesser blog post this year than 2014. It's alright! I managed to hit 100.

I wanted to blog like everyday for the month of December to break my record again. But I don't think it will be possible, and also I don't want to "force" myself to blog just to exceed the number of posts as last year. Well I suppose life has caught up on me this year, and I can't blog as often as 2014. I do have plans for next year to revive this blog of mine again. I really love blogging. I love writing. Although no one reads my blog (except for a few loyal followers), I still enjoy reading my blog (self-praise).

Nothing beats the joy of re-reading your own thoughts really.

Oh well, December is here now! I seriously can't believe 11 months have went by just like that. I'm so excited for 2016. I don't know what will happen and how they year will be. I'm pretty sure it's going to be an exciting year for me, somehow. Every year, I learned a lot of new things from the events I went through and the people I met. And well, I'm always looking forward to meeting the new year.

It's so funny how when I'm still in school I always dread the new year because of the things that were happening inside it. Like streaming year, O Levels, FYP, and the year in which I was returning home for good. But I suppose once life has caught up on you, you won't dread any year, any month or any day. You have learned the rhythm of life, and you're just playing alongside with it.

We're all growing old I suppose.