50%

It's the last day of June now and that means half of the year is gone! And 50% more to go till we reach another year. I should probably stop reminding and telling myself that time is flying quickly on this blog. But well yeah, still a scary thought that I don't think we can comprehend heh.

Nevertheless 2018 has been a pretty interesting year so far. As I'm trying to not label my years, I just feel that it is going the way I want it to go? Although not fully, but things seem to be moving in a direction and pace that I've been wanting to. I'm learning to embrace emptiness as always, so I'll see everything as it is. But yeah, I hope it continues to go towards the direction that I wish for.

We can't adjust the wind, but we can adjust our sail!

I think 2018 is a continuation of 2017 (duh!) in terms of the lessons I learned. Like I think 2018 is just a year where I continue to persevere forward, and learn how to become a human I guess. I am learning the spirit of not giving up and just giving it my all. I'm learning the spirit of embracing things, just like what I did in 2017. And so on and forth. I hope to continue onwards!

I'm still trying to work on my resolution of getting more grip on my life. Getting more control and just going forward fearlessly. It dawns upon me that I'm an adult now, in my mid twenties. I think it's time for me to grab my life better and to just get a control of things! Despite many circumstances I'm facing.

Okay I am going to stop here now. Man, I need to do a better job blogging here haha. I hope the first half of 2018 have been going well for you. Lets enter the next half of the year with vigour and spirit! Another year we're going to close off soon. Lets write this page of our life well! See you soon.

High As Hope

June is coming to an end tomorrow! As expected, despite of the long holiday, I know June will fly by quickly. And as always, the year will move forward even faster as we hit July. It's quite terrifying really to know how fast time is flying. Well nothing can stop it from moving forward.

Anyway I've been setting up the laptop more and more in this week. Downloaded the things I need, like Google Drive and Spotify etc. Still need to set up my Dropbox though. And a few other programs. Still getting used to the new laptop, it just feels different heh. Need more time I guess. I just love how fast this laptop is as compared to my previous hahaha. Like I don't have to wait 5 minutes for the laptop to start. And opening documents is so much quicker. Saves lots of time for me hah.

Alright time for the great music of June!

Great Music of  June:

- Wildness by Snow Patrol

- High As Hope by Florence and The Machine

- No Place by Rufus Du Sol

Song of the month: Empress by Snow Patrol

Alright lets talk about Rufus new song first, No Place! Saw that Rufus posted about the new song on their Facebook page and I was so excited! I know they've been hinting about new music from their Instagram heh, when they released the official audio for No Place I was really stoked. I think it's such an awesome song. And the song totally comes cohesively with the art, of shadowy figures on a desert. I think the song depicts that feeling of being alone in a big space. They're releasing a new album and I think it's gonna be called Solace (since it's their tour name). Pretty excited to hear more from Rufus!

Snow Patrol released their new album on the same day as Chvrches, but I just received my vinyl like last week haha. I think it's an incredible comeback album from them, and easily my top 5 albums of the year so far. I think it's a pretty uplifting album with lots of ideas and emotions weaved into a beautiful tapestry. I can't really explain the album word by word but the whole feel of the album just fits beautifully I guess. Especially songs like Empress and Life on Earth.

I read an article that the singer of the band (Gary) was struggling with some mental health issues during their hiatus. But to see him spring back into action in this new album is quite inspiring. I think a lot of his songs in the album talk about this issue too. When I first hear Empress back in May when they released it, I was feeling upset about some stuff. And then I listened to the lyrics which goes like "You don't think it will, but it will, it will". Suddenly I feel hopeful about things haha.

I think that's the power of music. Out of the blue, a song can uplift you and just make you feel better again. I think I have cried in the car a few times listening to Empress heh.

One of my most anticipated (and surprising) release of the year is Florence and The Machine's new album High As Hope! When she released A Sky Full of Song I was over the moon. Knowing that more new music is on the way haha. I have pre-ordered the album and it's on the way too. But I gave it a listen on Spotify and oh my goodness, it is such an incredible album I'd say. There are so much class and energy all in one album. It's super "clean" and just well executed I guess? I was hoping that she'd go back to the Ceremonials era and I think she kinda did.

It's a marriage between Ceremonials and HBHBHB.

There's something about Florence's voice and music that feels so empowering to me. The lyrics, the movement and the whole energy of her music is just so amazing. I really hope that she will bring her High As Hope tour to Indonesia and I will see her live. Definitely a bucket list item for me.

Alright that's all for now. Tomorrow is the last day of June and July is upon us. I'll see you soon!

New laptop, who dis?

Hello hello hello! Can't believe that I'm currently blogging on my new laptop mwahaha. I bought a new laptop on Sunday actually, but there was a problem with it and I had to send it for repair on Tuesday heh, it's only like 36 hours old! So far I'm just downloading the things I need to make the usage of this laptop enjoyable. Like iTunes, which I just finished downloading and transferring the new library and stuff. And I'm currently downloading Google Drive so that I can do work.

Oh and the reason why I decided to get a new laptop is that... My previous laptop has been acting weird in this month. For example in last week alone, it fell onto a black screen 3 times when I turned it on, saying that there's something wrong with the drive. And also the drive has been making weird noises lately. Usually it doesn't happen often (the noise), but recently it is happening a lot. Also what's terrifying was during the holiday, it went into blue screen twice, saying that my hard drive was undetectable?! And then the scariest part was, I almost pressed "reboot drive" :O

I didn't know that setting up a new laptop that runs on Windows 10 is this troublesome heh. Well maybe this is the first time that I'm setting up a new laptop. My previous laptop was set up by the IT people in SP when I bought it (actually it was Weilun haha). They installed everything I need from office and so on. All I did was go home and just start using it. Now I gotta transfer the new data and stuff. 

Which I have thankfully learn how to organise and minimalise.

Eight years of owning a laptop and a gazillion of data, I've been learning how to "let things go" and just stick with what I truly need. Which is essentially music and photos from my recent travels heh. Afterall, 8 years of memories are stored inside my previous laptop. Photos from my poly days and so on. Well I have them inside my external hard drive so no worries. More space in this new lappy I guess.

I'm learning how to organise my documents well and so on. I'm quite a messy person for digital file keeping heh. Except for photos, I found a great way to organise them :D

Anyway I'm also trying to make my fingers familiarise with the laptop keyboard. It's pretty different from the previous laptop. Oh by the way I bought another Lenovo laptop! Cause I think Lenovo is a good brand, so I decided to stick with the same brand. Although the keyboard is different, typing here feels a bit familiar with my previous laptop. Just that I mis-typed lots of words now hah.

Today was a holiday here in Indonesia because we have an election. I took part in this 2nd election of mine, to choose the head of province (West Java for me) and the mayor of my hometown. The head of province I am rooting for won the election, but sadly not for the mayor. Oh well let us all move forward together for the next five years! I hope everything will be awesome for everyone.

I don't really like talking about politics cause not only do I not understand a lot about it, but also it bring a lot of conflict and unhappiness heh. So I always try to avoid it.

Alright that's all for now. Gonna head to bed! Hopefully I can familiarise myself with the new laptop more in the next coming of days. See you soon, have a great remaining last week of June :)

A Good Break

Today's the last day of our "official" holiday and we're gonna start work tomorrow boohoo. Well actually I'm not really sad that we're going back to work heh. Perhaps I had a great break! I enjoyed this holiday a lot that I don't mind going back to work haha. Well I'm just hmm excited to see what the other half of 2018 has for me. More lessons, more experiences I guess?

Perhaps I feel it's a sign of maturity and growing up that you don't complain about going back to work after a holiday? Or more like a sign that you're living in the moment. You no longer worry about what's coming ahead of you, and you don't want to stay in the past, where you're having a good time heh. I think that's a great sign that you're ready to move on from where you are! :P

Although I have counted: We're about 340 more days to the next Hari Raya break HAHAHA.

Well I think I had a good break this time. It was truly my chance to rest and recharge. I don't have to do anything, my mind seems to shut off, spent a lot of time contemplating and reflecting, and also thinking of strategies for the next half of the year. Going along with my resolution this year, of getting more control and grip of my life, I want to try to really get a grip of things in life.

I'm not sure what are my plans for the next half of the year either. There are some things I look forward to, and there are also new challenges coming ahead of me. And I want to overcome them and become a better and stronger person at the end of this year!

Also sorry but I think I kinda failed at blogging a lot during the holiday. There are times when I want to blog but decided to dedicate my blogging time to give myself some self-love and nua instead haha. Actually I spent a lot of my nights during the holiday listening to my vinyl and just unwinding. And it feels really good. Place my record on the player and just chill on my bed with the music.

Alright I think that's all for now. 6 more days to the end of June, 2018 you crazy! Anyway I wanna wish you a wonderful other half of 2018. And to Indonesians, welcome back to work :P

Carpe Diem!

Blooming Flower

"You can't stop a flower from blooming, as much as you can't stop life from unraveling what it has in store for you. So be brave, have faith and keep going. Cause you can't stop the flower from blooming."

I cam up with these words last night! Right before I sleep haha. Well I was inspired by what happened for the Hari Raya harvest actually. Something that gave me anxiety has managed to give me a huge inspiration about life haha. Well, flowers are amazing aren't they!

Anyway the story goes this way. So as I mentioned, the flowers for the Hari Raya harvest were actually blooming way earlier that we were planning them to. To be exact, some of them bloomed 20 days before the harvest. TWENTY! Usually we "miss" the harvest time by a week, that was the record time. This time round it was 20 days. Of course we were all feeling worried and anxious.

I remember on the 27th of May, I was feeling really sad and angry? Like I didn't expect this to happen, and I was just worried that we don't have flowers for the harvest. But to be honest no matter how much I feel angry and upset at the flowers, nothing can change the fact that they are already blooming. 

And like I write above: Nothing can stop them either.

And this statement kind of made me feel calmer a bit, and just let things go. I mean really, what else can we do right. Even my anger/sadness can't change the situation heh. So I just let it go and just see how things will be. As expected, the flowers (which were supposedly for the Hari Raya harvest) continued to bloom and we were just harvesting them one by one to be sold.

But that weekend before the harvest (8-10 June), surprise surprise, the flowers which are supposed to be harvested after Hari Raya began to bloom! And also, we have no choice but to harvest them because if not they won't make it through the holiday heh. So in another miraculous turn, we have enough flowers for the big harvest. In fact this is our most successful one to date!

We learned a lot of lessons in this experience, and we'll definitely know what to do next year. So I realised that the flowers for the Hari Raya harvest were planted in a newly built greenhouse. The UV roofing is new, the soil is new and everything is new. So naturally, the flowers grow faster. This is a new lesson we learn this year so we have some notes to take next year! :P

Anyway this whole situation has also taught me a very valuable lesson in life. That you can't stop anything that is going to happen in life. And life is lived best when we can brave the storm and embrace all the things that are unfolding and unraveling in life. This can be summed in a rule that I personally believe, that everything happens for a reason. Everything in life, even if you don't want them to happen.

You can't stop your destiny for taking shape in your own life. You can't stop karma for taking place in life. Which is why it's important that we need to be brave and to have faith. And to keep going! Embrace everything with an open heart and an open mind. Nothing can hurt you and nothing can delude you.

Ah well once again the flowers have taught me a beautiful lesson in life. I love flowers. To me they are a symbol to many things in life. Impermanence, the universe, perseverance, patience and many more. There are so many things we can learn from them. And I'm excited to learn more.

You can't stop the flower from blooming.

Being Here

Hello! It's umm day 5 of holiday and... I'm bored haha. Although to be honest I've been enjoying these days! Cause I have nothing to do. I feel kinda productive this holiday though, and whatever I was planning to do during the holiday has been done haha. Quite surprised cause you know, I'm quite a procrastinator. I usually leave things to the end and then do it. Then regret it HAHA.

I suppose I've learned to manage my time well now I guess :P

Anyway this post is sort of an extension of my previous post. So as I said previously how during normal work days, we usually wish it's the holidays. But during holidays, when we spend a few days with nothing to do, we don't know what to do and wish we have some work to be done haha. Well it kinda made me think and realise that.. We never really feel this way when we were young!

I mean when I was young, I really enjoy the holiday. It was a time where I feel like a rebel, because there's no homework and I can do whatever I want. I can sleep as late as possible (although my mum will scold me heh), and I will play till I drop dead tired in the day hah. And of course when it's the last day of holiday I feel sulky and sad, and wish the holiday would be longer.

So I can't help but to wonder why we don't share the same sentiment as we grow up now. Then I'm reminded by the words of John Koenig, from his video for "zenosyne" - the sense that times keeps going faster. It says: "You get used to living in the moment, because there's nowhere else to go. But soon enough, life begins to move, and you learn to move with it."

I love the first sentence of living in the moment because we have nowhere else to go. And I think this is the exact reason to my question above. When we were young, we have less things to worry about in life. So the holiday was that time-space we have where we can truly enjoy every moment with nothing to worry about (back in those days: school and homework and tests).

But as we grow older, we know that even though we're on a holiday, we know we're going back to work. And whatever unfinished business we have prior to the holiday is going to "return" to us as we finish the holiday. So in a way, we have begun worrying before things happen heh, because we just know it! It's kind of the same as my poly holidays. Even though I have a long holiday after every academic year, I know the next year is going to get tougher so I kinda begun pondering about it during the holiday.

Especially from year 2 to year 3, cause I'm "excited" about internship lol!

Well I'm still teaching myself how to live in the moment. Because being in the moment, or the ability to live life this way, is the only way you can live "forever". Where you can feel happy for as long as you want, and sad/upset for as short as you want. It's a wonderful freedom you can feel!

Alright that's all for now. Still got a few things to talk about so I'll see you soon again! We're currently left with 7 more days to the end of the holiday, even though a few of my workers are going back earlier for work. And that we have flower delivery on Wednesday as usual. Lets enjoy it! :)

Selamat Hari Raya Idul Fitri!

First of all wishing all of the Muslims around the world a happy Hari Raya Idul Fitri! Or Eid as you call it! Hope you had a great day with your family on this special day :)

It's the first day of Lebaran here and well it's a pretty quiet day as usual. Well after a night of Takbiran, usually people are tired haha so the night was especially quiet today. Also me hometown was also rather empty on this day as usual. Cause people usually do house visits!

Had a very chill day today, but mostly was spent out with my dad, sister, brother in law and my nephew. Can you believe it, my dad actually went to the supermarket with us! I think the last time he stepped inside the supermarket was like... Ten years ago? Or even longer. He never goes out anywhere haha so it was such a surprise that he joined us today. Maybe it's his grandson who asked him to go so he can't say no right. And then we spent the rest of the day on a waterpark. Just walking around tho!

It was truly a chill day, like any other lebaran day of the year. It's always quiet and slow.

I think it's pretty funny how during normal days, we wish that we can have a holiday. But once we are on a holiday, especially those that we spent at home doing nothing, we don't know what to do! Hahaha. Well for me I support John Lennon's words of "Tim you enjoy wasting is no wasted time". As long as you know that you're "wasting" your time by doing nothing, it's not wasted time! Haha.

So yeah I spent today, apart from being outside, just lazing around watching YouTube videos heh. Or like right now, blogging. And also I was reading articles just now. Which isn't exactly "doing nothing" right. But yeah, I think if I gotta "do nothing" for 3 consecutive days, I will go mad! Nevertheless, not having work is already something I enjoy and love. Ooh la la.

Alright I'm gonna stop here now. We're going to do prayers for my grandpa's 26th death anniversary tomorrow! So some of my aunts and cousins will be coming over. More gathering I guess! See ya :)

See you again, Ramadhan

 Goodbye Ramadhan

It's the last day of Ramadhan today, and the sounds of Takbiran are echoing around my town now! I've always loved and enjoyed this atmosphere, although I'm not a Muslim and I didn't fast for one month heh. But this day, this night, has always become sort of a "checkpoint" in life? Especially during the year. It's like oh it's Lebaran. And with this break, it is sort of a time of contemplation of what I want to achieve in the rest of the year, and what can be done better.

The echoing of Takbiran is also a bittersweet sound for me, because it reminds me of how fast time is flying! Like another Ramadhan come and go, I've experienced this almost all of my life, except when I'm in Singapore of course. But since young, I've always listened to this at night. Back when I was small, I always have my cousins and family gathered together on this night. 

Now that we're adults, we don't do it anymore. And it's fine.

I kind of realised that a lot of people here always "send off" this holy month by saying something like: "May we be reunited with the next Ramadhan". Because truth be told, no knows when we will leave this earth. And of course, we may not make it till next Ramadhan. Just like how last night I received the news of the passing of the mother of someone my family is close with, on the night before Takbiran. And about 3 days ago, the mosque near my house announced the passing of 2 people in one night.

Perhaps we should take this chance to really treasure what we have, and the time we have in this life. We don't exactly know how long more we have here heh. It's kinda the same for the temple in my hometown. We usually have a last prayer session on the last month of the lunar year. And before we go home, the temple head will say like I hope we can all gather together again on the last lunar month of the next lunar year! And everyone just nods off in agreement.

Well I don't want to ruin this festive mood. To all of my Muslim friends, and all Muslims out there, I hope you had a blissful month of Ramadhan! Eid Mubarak to you and your family! :)

Shut Off

Hello hello hello! I'm back again and now the holiday has officially started! Mwahaha. Yesterday was the last day of work at the factory, and today was the start of the yearly Hari Raya holiday. Today was a pretty chill day. Went for a haircut and... Wait, it wasn't exactly a chill day, cause I decided to finish all the work I have to do hahaha. Well I have a list of things to do before the holiday. I wanted to do it last night but I still had some things to do so I was determined to finish them today. And I did! :)

No actually last night I decided to give myself a break, and nua the whole night off heh.

Anyway I still have a list of things I want to do during the holiday. The usual monthly stuff, which is nice cause now I have lots of time to do it. Nothing else to do anyway! I'm definitely looking forward to spending the next 10 days or so just chilling and relaxing. Most importantly - recharging.

I don't have any travel plans this year during the long holiday. Well I did the same thing in 2016 and it was quite a pleasant thing to do actually. To just relax and chill in the long holiday. But I do have gigs plan in July though heh heh. I'm looking forward to a music-licious July indeed.

Alright I'm not sure if I should blog everyday here for the holiday. We'll see! But I will definitely blog more. I have a couple of things I want to blog about. Alright see you soon. To Indonesians out there, have a great holiday! And to the rest of you, have an awesome remaining month of June :)

Intense

It's been an intense first nine days of June. Every night, every day, I have things to do! Spent the whole of last week's nights settling the yearly bonuses, settling the parcels for my customers, and so on. Thankfully I finished everything by Wednesday, and I'm just taking this night off. A well deserved night off I guess, after days of just constant work. But I'm not done yet! One more hurdle to go.

We're already starting the great harvest of 2k18 and we're targeting to be done by tomorrow night/Monday morning. Before we send the flowers off on Monday night. To be honest it's been an anxious Ramadhan for me because the flowers were blooming way too early this year. Perhaps it's due to the fact that the greenhouses are new and that the soil condition might be better.

We learn new things every year I guess.

Phew, it's been a tiring month. Emotionally and psychologically. I hope I can rest once the Hari Raya holidays are here next week. Looking forward to spending my days chilling and just relaxing. Also I'm thinking of challenging myself to blog everyday during the holidays! We'll see.