Circle of Life

 

So yesterday, my dad had a muscle cramp on his waist and it was pretty painful. In fact it was so painful that he spent the evening laying on the bed because he couldn't move too much, and that it hurt when he walks. So I spent the evening doing calculations by myself and also taking care of him, putting some hot compress on his waist, and basically doing his usual routine while he's resting.

It dawned upon me how much my parents have grown old. Well they're not -that- old but age is basically catching up on them. Body aches became a routine for them, and evidently, it takes longer for them to recover from flu etc. Which usually takes a shorter time, as long as I can remember.

Well no one can escape from the force of time. We will grow old eventually too. It's just pretty bittersweet to see this happening right now. I mean yes I spent most of my time with my dad and my parents. I've been cooking/heating up dinners for them and so on. I also realised how I've been holding them as they walk and I become wary when the floor is slippery, when the weather is cold etc.

Which reminds me - that all of these worries are the worries that my parents used to have when I was small! Or actually even until now haha. Which then brings me to a thought:

"One day our parents will become our children"

I realise how much I've been nagging at my parents, instead of the other way round (no actually my mum still occasionally nags at me too haha). Simple things like reminding my dad to wear jacket when we're going out (cause the weather is pretty chilly these days). Reminding my mum not to eat too much spicy food cause it'll give her gastric. Warning my dad that the floor is slippery, holding his hands as we're walking. Closing the window when my mum is sleeping cause it can be cold, and so on.

All of these, are things that my mum always nag at me when I was young (or till now). 

So in one way or another, we'll come back to where we begin. It's really the circle of life I guess? Or it's just the idea that we are repaying the deeds of our parents, as they took care of us when we were young. One day our parents will become our children. The question is, 

can we treat them as our children, like how they treated us as theirs?

Oh yes PS: My dad's doing much better today.

Do It Again

Hello! It's the end of August again and lets talk about the great music I discovered in this month. Well there aren't many but some of them are really good. Lets get into it.

Great Music of August:

- Do It Again by Trevor Something

- Summer Love by Trevor Something

- Enjoy The Silence by Trevor Something (Depeche Mode Cover)

- Mysterium by Hammock

- I Would Give My Breath Away by Hammock

- Now and Not Yet by Hammock

Song of the month: Do It Again by Trevor Something

Yup I just discovered one new artist today and he goes by the name Trevor Something! I chanced upon him after discovering his cover of Depeche Mode's Enjoy The Silence which is really good. Well I thought there won't be any "justifiable" cover but whew his cover is so good. So I dug more of his music and I'm so loving the synths! Do It Again is definitely a favourite of mine.

Hammock surprised me last month when they announced that they will be releasing a new album in August! It was rather a surprise cause they just released their previous album last month, which is one of my favourites from them. Mysterium is kind of a different direction from Everything and Nothing. But this album is so.... Beautiful. I can't really describe their music, but to me it is the music that you want to listen to if you want to question about your existence in life haha. It's heart-blowing too.

Yup just a short post regarding some new music! Most of the albums I've been anticipating in 2017 have been released haha. So yeah I was feeling a bit "sad" to know that summer is coming to an end. But then more surprises along the way! For example Alvvays is releasing a new album next week, and Yumi Zouma as well! Also I think Sam Smith has something in store as well. And PREP! Saw their instagram and they're mixing the next EP apparently. I am so so excited. 

Alright that's all for now I guess. Seriously can't believe we're left with 4 more months of the year!

Film and Festival

 Summer! Shot with my Skina SK2000 on Lomo800 film

So I decided to bring my film camera to We The Fest 2 weeks ago, and well I learned that it was both an overambitious act and also a good decision! Haha. Okay well I've tried doing this when I was in Singapore at Neon Lights last year. And I think it was a good choice because I actually enjoyed the festival more, with less time spent on looking at my screen seeing if the shot I took was good or not.

Which was the same case at WTF! All I did was frame, shoot and pull away the film to get ready for my next shot. Also knowing that I only have 36 exposures made me think a lot about the photos. I didn't happily fire away the shutter haha. But this also brings a bad point.

 Stars and Rabbit

That is I have a lot of blurry shots! Well I did use an ISO800 film. Outdoors (like Stars and Rabbit set) was shot in 1/100 speed. But apparently I still have a lot of blurry shot. And then indoors (Bottlesmoker, Shura, Gryffin) was shot a bit slower, but thanks to the awesome lighting, I manage to snap a few nice ones. So yeah I reckon that I was a bit overambitious to shoot in film.

 Love this shot of Shura!

Nevertheless I really enjoy the process. Shooting film helps to really make you enjoy the moment, whatever you are doing and wherever you are. Digital is also nice because you get to shoot a lot of shots and you're ensured that you'll manage to snap a few good ones. Back in Cambodia, I didn't know that my Sony A6000 has a lousy battery life. So I had to use my film camera to shoot in some of the temples that I visited because I was preserving the battery for the sunset photos in the evening.

 Try going to a music festival with a film camera!

And during those moments where I shot with my Canon Prima, I kinda feel that I enjoy the time more. I get to bask in the temples surrounding more I guess. Cause all I did was shoot and put my camera away. And more things to see, more things to feel as well. I'd love to one day travel with only my film camera. Now that I have a reliable developer here in Bandung (shoutout to Hipercat Lab!).

Alright that's all for today. I recommend you to try going to a music festival/travel with a film camera!

Doing Nothing

 

Today really feels like a weird Saturday for me. Perhaps it was not a usual one. I usually spent it at the farm with my father in the evening but today we didn't, because the road there was closed for some filming. So I spent it at home, doing nothing. Which feels pretty weird to me because well like every other Saturdays I will be at the farm but not today. It just felt so empty and so... Silent.

So I spent the evening cleaning up my room, which I usually do at night after I do the calculations. After that I had dinner and do calculation and so on. It felt like an out-of-place Saturday.

As much as I enjoy doing nothing, I don't like it when it's like out of my norm? Like John Lennon said, time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time. I do enjoy my fair share of Saturdays doing nothing. Because on other days, I'm usually busy with stuff. Leaving only these 2-3 hours before sleep as my free time. But to be honest I don't like it when I do nothing for the whole day haha. So I usually do something else in between these hours. Be it cleaning up my room, or even do some work.

So today felt a bit extreme for me. Spending the whole day doing nothing! Well I spent it by watching YouTube videos and surfing the net and scrolling through instagram. Oh so productive right. After which I cleaned up my room. And after that, my "Saturday" kinda went back to normal.

I find it ironic sometimes, how I always wish for lots of free time on other days, when I look at the amount of things I have to do. But once I got these free times, I felt uncomfortable, wishing I was doing something else. Well I would say it's a whole different story here. In Singapore most of my Saturdays are kinda empty. And I spent it by going out with friends, grocery shopping or eating out (even alone!). Cooking for dinner, watching TV, going for a run and so on. Lots of options.

I don't have much options here to be honest. 

Maybe I should just one day go out and explore my hometown taking photos and so on. I really miss those days where I can just go to a random place in Singapore with my iPod and listen to music as I watch time goes by. That sense of bliss of doing nothing is incredible. I guess.

Pretence and Ignorance

I came up with this thought a few days ago. I realised that many people have a problem - we always pretend that we have lots of time, at the same time, we're also ignorant at the amount of time that we have. I'm such a person haha, but I've changed my habit, I plan my time well now because well, it is money! Like I wrote in my post last month about the importance of these 24 hours in a day.

When I was in poly, well I wouldn't say I was a last-minute person. I'm definitely someone who hates bering rushed and of course, I hate rushing too. So most of the time, I would finish my assignments weeks/days before it's due. I remember for my first Biochem report, I finished it way before the holiday. Because I wanted to enjoy the term break! Haha. While some of my friends were rushing it days before it was due. I remember Kai finishing it hours before submission time!

Guess what - She got an A and I got a B HAHAHA.

I remember during ITP I always do my work by Friday, before the weekend begins. And even if I can't finish, I'd finish it by Saturday morning. I don't really like rushing things!

But I have a bad habit. Although yes, I'd finish my work before it's due, I have a bad habit of delaying things. My main reason is the idea that I have time. Which is quite bad. Procrastination at its finest. But of course I don't do this all the time. There are those days where I would really procrastinate badly. Like there was once I remember I had lots of work to do and I was planning to do it on Saturday. I ended up watching 3 movies back to back on TV and wasting my Saturday away. At night I went for dinner with a friend and well, you guessed it, I didn't do anything back then.

And all because I told myself "I have time". Well I do have time, but imagine if I were to stick to my plans, I would have more time to do more things that I wanted to do! Without the guilt and so on. This is a perfect example of the Buddha's saying, "The problem is you think you have time".

There are also times when the opposite happens. This happens a lot after I'm back. So as you know I have things to do here every day. These days they have become a routine. So I usually plan out the things that I wanted to do in a day, and really try hard to stick to them. Sometimes it has become sort of a "fear" that I didn't get to finish them. Most of the time I overthink. I ended up rushing everything, only to realise that hey actually you don't have to rush them you know haha. 

Well, good thing is I got my shit done!

So yeah when people say "We only have 24 hours in a day", there are different responses that people react to this statement. Some would be like "Okay I need to rush everything! Do my things!" or "Well I have __ more hours to go lets chill". Well I've learned that it's really best to know the amount of things that you need to do and the amount of time you need to get them done. 

Make full use of these 24 hours. Because you are not doing so by rushing to get things done, nor wasting time away and not getting things done. Basically stop pretending you have time. And don't be ignorant at the amount of time you have. Life is short people! We only have 24 hours in a day!

Epidemic

No don't worry about the title, there's no epidemic here in Indonesia nor my hometown. I just happened to remember something about it. Sometimes one of the things that irked me a lot is when people sneeze or cough without covering their mouth. And sadly a lot of people do that here. Although obviously they don't sneeze or cough right in front of you, they just don't cover their mouth. Also they would kindly face you away so that they will sneeze or cough away from you.

Well I was one of those people! Okay to be honest before I came to Singapore, I do these too. Especially at home. But well I was taught in primary school here that we should cover our mouth when we sneeze or cough, and I do that but only in public haha. Also in Indonesia we don't say "excuse me" like people do in Singapore. So I remember when I first came there, I got scolded by a friend for not saying excuse me after I sneezed. And from then onwards, I have a new habit.

I think most people here have this bad habit because well, old habits die hard. But for me, as someone who went through two epidemics in my life (SARS in 2003 and H1N1 Avian Flu in 2009), I really learned how to not screw things up haha. Also Biomed has taught me more ways we can die from.

People here haven't really went through such conditions before. So to them a sneeze or a cough is nothing. Perhaps if an epidemic occur (I really hope not), people will start thinking twice of their bad habit haha. I remember in 2003, during the SARS outbreak, things got so scary that I was avoiding human interaction. I remember the day school got called off, my housemates and I stayed at home. And my parents were so worried they asked us to come home. 

And oh gosh the journey home was so nerve wrecking because after all we were traveling in a plane for 1.5 hours. We had to go to the Airport, where so many people are gathering. My brother and sister went back to Singapore first cause if I'm not wrong JC reopened earlier. I went with my aunt and uncle. I remember I was covering my mouth and nose with a tissue in the plane haha. Everyone else around me were wearing masks, it was really tense, the whole feeling is different.

And then for the next one month we were all being monitored with daily temperature check ups, and so on. I was being specially monitored (had to report to my teacher every day to make sure I have no fever and so on). So yeah this experience taught me a huge lesson as I grow up. And I have to say the Singapore Government did a great job in handling the situation. It was well managed I guess.

So it became natural when the H1N1 Flu broke out in 2009. Same thing happened but I was in Sec 4 then. I was the class monitor so I had to make sure things were running. I remember having to disinfect my classmates' hands in the morning and after recess. And then disinfecting the tables once a week with bleach. Kelvin was infected with it and during the week where he was reported, we had to clean the table every day! Haha. And I had to monitor the 8 people who were sitting directly beside him.

After going through the 2003 SARS outbreak I was actually kinda "prepared" in 2009. It was also a frightening experience because I traveled to Sweden during that period! 11 hours up in the air from Bangkok etc. I was feeling quite terrified too but nope nothing happened haha. 

Okay this is just really a random thought. I hope we can all learn to take care of ourselves and others better, before things got worst. And I wish these two incidents won't repeat itself!

Happy Birthday Indonesia!

 Selamat Ulang Tahun Tanah Air ku.

It's the 17th of August which means my country turned 72 today! Happy Birthday my beloved tanah air. May you always grow and prosper always as we move forward! :) It's always a special day to me. Although I've spent most of my life away during this day, it's always a good day to reflect about being Indonesian. A good day to wish for greater progress in the future. Well we still have a long way to go. But we'll get there. I always believe so! In our own unique ways and roads.

Indonesia may not be the best country on earth. I believe there's no such thing as a "best" country on this planet. I think we all are all beautiful and flawed in our own ways. I love my country. I love my homeland. And I'm still trying to be that one person who could bring a positive change here. Indonesia is huge, I don't even know where to start! Haha. But one act of change is better than none.

Well my message to my country is that I hope we can all remain united together in the spirit of Bhinneka Tunggal Ika, or to be united in diversity. We are all people from different walks of life. Though we may have differences, I hope we'll remember that at the end of the day, 

our blood is red, 

and bones are white.

Just like our flag.

We The Fest 2017!

 Summer memories. Thank you WTF 2017!

Hello hello! I just got back to We The Fest 2017 yesterday! Well it is a 3-day music festival, would really love to go for the whole three days but life happens, and I could only go for day one. Which is alright cause it was an awesome day nevertheless! I got to see Shura again, and caught some acts I've been wanting to see live! On the other hand I'm gonna miss Mondo Gascaro, Lightcraft, Phoenix and Dua Lipa which was today and tomorrow. Well I'm sad but it's alright, one day hopefully!

Anyway left my hometown at 11:30 AM for Jakarta. I was quite worried cause I woke up late! Supposed to leave home at 11 but I woke up at 11 hah. Just went to shower and pack my bags and left home at 11:30 so whew. Thankfully I made it in time! Reached PRJ Kemayoran at 3 PM and went to join in the queue. There was quite a long line at the security check so yep thankfully I was early.

 Stars and Rabbit. So so incredible

The first act that I watched was Stars and Rabbit! They are one of my favourite Indonesian bands, and their debut album "Constellation" is one of my favourite albums ever! I missed them at 2015 RRREC festival right here in my hometown cause it clashes with Mid Autumn hah. So I redeemed myself this time! Anyway seenig them live is a whole new story to be honest. I really love their energy on stage. You can feel the raw emotions run through the words and music of their performance. So incredible!

One of the highlights is definitely singing to "Worth It" with them, and dancing along with Elda on "Man Upon The Hill" for the closing song. Oh my goodness. I can't describe the feeling but it's just amazing. Pure euphoria and adrenaline rushing inside you and you see them perform.

 Indonesia's very own electronic duo, Bottle Smoker

Next up was Bottle Smoker! I've heard of them recently but haven't really give them a proper listen. Yesterday was also my first time catching them live and it's also an amazing set. I really love how their songs are inspired by rituals from around Indonesia. And well you can really hear them on their music. And same as Stars and Rabbit, their energy on stage is so amazing. We were all dancing through their music! These two talented duo have a great road ahead of them definitely.

Went to have dinner before continuing the night. Love the food selection... For the non-vegetarians HAHAHA. As much as I can recall there's only a mushroom pizza from Pizza e Birra, cireng and fries as vegetarian option (dessert not included). I hope there's more veg food option next year! :P But nevertheless the pizza is delicious. They have truffle oil holy mama! Also had some beer.

 Good to see Yuna again!

Next up was Yuna! Okay I didn't manage to catch her full set cause I really want to secure a good spot for Shura which was after her haha. But nevertheless it's good to see her again!

Welcome back Shura!

And then it was Shura! I managed to get a good spot about 3-people away from the front. Well Shura was incredible again. I'm so thankful that I managed to see her live again! Also it was awesome that we get to listen to her full set, as it was cut short during Neon Lights last year. She came close to us as usual for Touch and I managed to give her a card that I wrote for her. Yay thanks Shu!

 This was during Touch as usual :')

And also another awesome thing happened: Indonesia's president Mr Jokowi was watching her too! So during her set she said something like "The president is watching me behind". We couldn't really catch what she said but well yup, after the night, the president really did watch her hahaha.

 Gryffin shaking things up!

Last but not least to close the night was Gryffin! I discovered Gryffin through his remix of Bipolar Sunshine "Daydreamer". And then I found out that he did lots of great remixes! From Years and Years Kings, Desire and Troye Sivan's Youth. Also his new releases were awesome as well. It was such a great way to close the night to just dance to his music together along with the crowd.

Okay Gryffin set was probably my first ever DJ set. I'm not really that into Electronic Dance music. I do like a few (like Gryffin, Avicii, Jai Wolf and others) but I don't think I've ever been to a DJ set before. To me it felt so incredible to see everyone break into a dance during parts of the song (the drop? Is that what you call it?) and everyone just dance without caring about everyone else. I was dancing along too, without giving a shit whether I dance well or not haha. It's so amazing! 

So yeah I kinda understand why people really love the whole EDM scene. But to me I think the term EDM is too wide to be put into one genre. But yeah you get what I mean.

Yup that's all for WTF this year! I think it's a well-run festival in my opinion. The wait time between sets was short. Like I think there was only a few minutes of delays and not like 20 minutes of delay hah. Also the overall rundown of the festival is great! I really hope to return next year. I think it should go back to its 2-day lineup heh. I mean 3-days is awesome. But if it were 2 days, I think I might stay for everything. I kinda feel three is wee bit too long? I don't know, just my opinion.

Also please include more Indonesian lineup and even Southeast Asian ones! That'll be so cool. Alright thank you WTF 2017 for the incredible time even though I only went for a day. Really hoping to see you again next year. And also thank you Stars and Rabbit, Bottle Smoker, Yuna, Shura and Gryffin for the incredible time yesterday. Hope to see you all again one day too! Hope you had a great weekend :)

What Do You See?

 Happy Birthday Singapore!

It's the ninth of August once again so... Happy Birthday Singapore! I think this day will remain as a special day in the year for me. I've spent this day singing national day songs in schools for 7 years when I was still in Singapore. Spent this day watching the NDP show on TV while eating dinner. It's pretty much a melancholic day when I was still in Singapore. I used to contemplate a lot about the days spent on the sunny island. And now I've been back home for 4 years. Still a special day!

Although not gonna lie, today feels like a pretty normal day for me. Maybe life has caught up with me. Well today was indeed a busy day for me. So many things to do and to handle so I was pretty preoccupied that I didn't realise it was 9th of August! In fact I just finished doing some stuff just now before blogging. And it's 4:45 AM now haha. Well, such is life I suppose!

I was transferring a few files to my hard drive last Saturday when I came across my photo folders. Photos that I've been taking since 2010, when I first got my camera. Floods of memories came rushing in! So many good memories of my days in Singapore especially in my poly days. 

The above photo was taken at Marina Barrage back seven years ago, while I was with Ade, Jes and Neal when we were celebrating my birthday. It was such a good day, the sky was clear and the weather was very lovely. The barrage was crowded with people having picnics and flying kites. There was also NDP rehearsal so we got to watch the flag fly-past and fireworks at the end. Good days!

I would say my poly days were some of the most loveliest days in Singapore. I suppose it's a time where I have learned to value time and memories. So I decided to enjoy them and to also document them. Can't help but to smile whenever I flip through these photos. So much have changed and time has flown so quickly. Here we are now, on this day and this moment.

But those days will always remain here. In my heart.

Well I do miss Singapore sometimes. I miss my friends, the people and the food. But most importantly I miss my days in Singapore. They are really something I will never trade with anything. Every simple moment that I went through are very valuable to me, and I'd love to experience them again.

You know simple things like going to school, my Sunday evening runs, grocery shopping, talking with friends, eating out with them and so on. They are the moments I'll hold on to forever.

I was hoping to return to Singapore every year and well so far I've been doing that. Although I feel my trips were too short! This year I only returned for Coldplay and only managed to meet with a few people only. I'd really to make this a reality but well sometimes I feel that I have another responsibility to hold. And pretty sure my friends need to make some arrangements too now that we're all working adults.

I hope to return soon!

Alright stopping here for now. Happy Birthday again, Singapore!

Handicapped

So I had a pretty interesting Wednesday, with my thumb being unable to move.

What happened was this. So on Monday, I started to feel this soreness on my right thumb. But I brushed it off thinking it was nothing. On Tuesday things got a bit stranger because it hurt when I tried to bend my right thumb. But I can still move it fine. Just a bit painful here and there. And on Wednesday things got horribly wrong, when I discovered that my right thumb hurt a lot if I move it!

After I woke up, I usually drink my cup of water. This time round, I couldn't even hold my cup as my thumb would hurt a lot when I bend it (imagine you holding the ear of a cup). Next I went to shower and it even hurt more when I tried to hold the shower head, and to lather myself with soap and shampoo. And I couldn't even dry myself with the towel and put on my clothes. I knew something was wrong.

Throughout the day, simple things that I usually do everyday became a challenge. Holding utensils when eating (I can't even use my hand for eating), typing on my phone (had to use my middle finger, cause even using my index finger hurt my thumb), opening doors etc. Thankfully for some actions, I can still use my left hand. But for some other actions, I was really struggling!

I think the most annoying part for this day was the fact that I couldn't write. Well I had to force myself to write. I did improvise a little bit by rolling tissue paper on my pen, to make the grip "fatter". I couldn't write quickly and my handwriting looked so horrible haha. I also couldn't drive, and had to ask my driver to send me to the farm. I felt very handicapped on this fateful day.

I felt that my liberty had been taken away for this day. But this has also given me a whole new insight about the lives of people with disabilities. I think there are lots of times when we take our bodies for granted. Our health, and so on. So yeah be thankful people, perhaps one day all of this will be taken away. I really experienced what it felt like to have your usual liberties taken away. 

And it wasn't lovely.

Thankfully I felt better on Thursday. I was able to at least wiggle the top part of my thumb. And on Thursday night I was feeling so much better, and was able to write (whew!). And today I woke up with my thumb functioning normally. There's still a slight sore on the joint part but all's good.

So yup. Love your body people! Including all of your fingers and your toes.