Come what May

 Those days, chasing the sun.

In a blink of an eye we're already at the last day of May. And fish! I didn't fulfill my target of blogging 9 times a month. Ah well that's bad, but I gotta blame it on the internet hahaha. Having a wonky internet connection for probably almost the entire month of May makes it really annoying to blog. Like I can lose an entire post as I was blogging! But alright I'll make it up to the missing posts. My aim is at least a hundred posts for this year and I think it's do-able.

May has been a great month I must say, and it ended on a rather sweet note on the business side (teehee). I know June is going to be great and July is going to be awesome pawesome! Or is it possum. And to know that we're a mere month away to the fasting month (Puasa month) kinda scares me, time is flying so quickly! Sometimes I just "realise" that May is ending and June is coming. Just shocked at realising how quickly time went by hmm.

Anyway it's been a great week too! Because I went back to Singapore on Monday - Wednesday. It's an awesome three days meeting with my friends, some whom I didn't meet when I was back in January. And as usual catching up with each other's life. We're all busy with our own daily routines, but reminiscing the past and updating each other never fail to make me happy! Feels like I didn't leave Singapore at all. Perks of being someone who studied there for so long.

It's great to meet up with my fellow LEAP friends too! It's been such a long time we have such gatherings and it's great to meet Tony as well. I don't know... I feel like we've all grown up now haha. Although it's been only (only!) three years since we left LEAP camp. I think we're all more matured now, and the things we discuss are really something we wouldn't be discussing years ago. So it feels good to look back on where we've come thus far.

Although well I must say the three days in Singapore felt very weird to me. Co-incidentally it was exactly a year ago that I went back to Indonesia for good. And a year later, I return back to Singapore for a short visit. Walking along the streets, taking the same bus routes I used to take and going to the places I went through last year, made me feel so weird really. I'm astonished by time, and surprised by its pace. But well I feel more happy than sad as I was doing all these.

Singapore will always be a special place for me. And it will always have a place in my heart. Till I die, or till memory fails me.

Alright before I end this post gonna update my music discoveries again!

Great music of May:
- The entire new Coldplay album Ghost Stories
- Bedroom Wall by Banks
- Gin og Greip by Boogie Trouble (Remix 5)
- All of Me by John Legend (yes I'm damn slow!)
- Strong by London Grammar
- Wasting My Young Years by London Grammar

Yup as some of you may know it already, Coldplay released their 6th album "Ghost Stories" in May. Thanks to Coldplay Indonesia and Warner Music Indonesia who partnered together to create a pre-order of this album, I got it on the 29th (if I'm not wrong)! I totally love their new album! Although yes I feel that they toned down a lot this time round as compared to Mylo Xyloto but still loving it. My favourites will be "Always In My Head", "Ink" "O" and "A Sky Full of Stars"

Gin og Greip is actually one of Boogie Trouble's earliest songs. I just discovered their Soundcloud and didn't know the Remix 5 version is free for download. Love that! I can't wait for them to release their album which they awesomely replied to my comment on Youtube (fanboy moment). All of Me, I think like everyone knows that song except for me who just discovered it when I was back in Singapore heh. I must say it's a great song!

Banks is an awesome artist that I'm so glad to have discovered too. Well thanks to Olafur Arnalds who shared one of her songs (Bedroom Wall) on his Facebook page, I clicked on it and straight away went to iTunes store to get her whole EP haha. Bedroom Wall is such a brilliant song. I love it! Very sexy (both musically and lyrically heh). And I got London Grammar's album as I was shopping in Jakarta. Finally, after months of going to CD store and "sorry we're out of stock". I love London Grammar. Hannah's voice is so angelic and lovely.

Alright that's all for my music discoveries! Here's to more music in June! I know there'll be more cause Passenger is releasing his new album in June too (yay!) and a few more artists, which I forgot who heh. More updates soon on end of June! See ya :D

Anger

So alright let me talk about what bad thing that happened yesterday.

So I was at the farm because we have a new fertiliser supplier who was sending us his fertilisers (in sacks) using quite a huge truck. So as the truck was approaching the store room (a big one), which is normal because that's what we do, everything was going smoothly and half of the truck was inside the store room already so it was okay. And then suddenly something horrible happened. The top of the store room entrance got stuck with something and the truck pulled the top and the whole front-wall and the top part of the store room fell apart.

Yes, fell apart, right in front of my eyes, and the other workers' eyes.

At that moment I just gasped in shock but I just stood there with my mouth open.

I could have gone to the driver and shouted and scolded at him sprouting whatever is on my mind (which was nothing by the way, just shock). I could have asked him to call his boss and demand compensation and just went haywire.

Then suddenly an inner voice told me, if I do all of the above, will I make the store room return to its formal glory? Will I be able to undo everything? No and no. Can I fix the wall? Yes. So okay problems solved, the driver did apologise to me and I'm thankful for the workers (especially Ruslan) whose quick thinking salvage the whole situation.

Somehow, at that moment I couldn't think of any reasons to be angry. In fact I can't be angry. Something is telling me that I cannot be angry because there's no use to it! I've always learned this fact of mine. I try my best not to be angry at people. Because well apart from making myself feeling uneasy, and probably disciplining people, I don't know what good things anger can bring. Sure you can like shout and scold people and they may be disciplined just like how our parents did it when we're young. But well I try my best not to. I will talk it off first before raising my voice.

Well I hope I'm on the right path on becoming the happiest and zen-est person on earth, as I grow up. I'm training my mind, to have a strong and free mind. Because these two will make my life more easier and happier too.

Alright that's all for now. Write here soon!

One Year On

 One year on

I like this photo a lot! Thanks Kian Tat for snapping this

Today is the 22nd of May, thanks to Saeyeoh for tagging me on Instagram cause I totally didn't realise that it's been a year since we graduated from SP! Well well my life has been very different obviously, and the past few days have been very busy for me so I totally forgot the date. Can't believe it's been a year! One long year, with so many different things happening.

I totally did not expect that I would land where I am now. What I am doing, well life's full of surprises and so this is one of them. Whatever things that I have planned and imagined as I was still in poly didn't happen at all. Except for the part that I would go back home. I'm home now, and I'm helping my parents as promised. Nope I'm not doing anything biomedical related. I'm doing something even more awesome - floral related! Well I've learnt so much from my friends, the flowers.

I've always looked back on my journey back in poly and up till this day I have no regrets with the path I chose back 5 years ago, when I decided to join SP through DPA. Along the way, this past one year, part of my heart is pinched because I told myself that I could have joined this course and that course. Well obviously I couldn't because I'm a Biomedical Science diploma holder now. And nothing can change that fact. And hell yeah I'm very proud of it!

It seems so funny and awesome at the same time that a year ago I was in my graduation gown in SPCC receiving my diploma, and then having so much fun taking photos with my friends and lecturers. A year later I'm back home, and today wasn't a great day because something bad happened oh dear. But it's okay everything's good and well... Shit happens haha. But it's okay, we can fix it I suppose. So everything is good. We can't revert it anyway.

Along the way home just now I was just staring at the window about how much things have changed. And how quickly time has passed us by, a year ago I was still in Singapore and a year later I'm back home. I would lie if I say I have fully let go of my days in Singapore because almost everyday, I would think back about those days, reminiscing the past and just having a good time. Studying in Singapore was definitely an experience I will never forget. And it will definitely be the most treasured experience of my life.

And polytechnic will be the best years of my life too. I suppose it's the years where I understand life more so I'm trying to live it to the fullest. So yeah, it's been a year since I left polytechnic but the lessons I've learned and the experience I went through still stick to me like an ionic bond between sodium and chlorine in salt. So strong, unbreakable and powerful.

Ah well, I'm interested an eager to know what I'll be doing a year later on this special date.

Who knows.

Raw vegan for a day

Right so as promised I'm gonna blog about my experience being a raw vegan for a day yesterday. Well obviously there isn't much of a significant difference that I feel about being a raw vegan for a day. I think I need to be one for a week to feel the difference in my body. Which I am definitely going to try one day but probably when I live by myself so that I don't have to trouble my other family members who are not going raw vegan. Lots of food planning!

So I went to a totally strict raw vegan. Okay not totally strict, like maybe 95% raw or something. Cause I drank soymilk which I bought in the market so it's freshly squeezed. But usually these soymilk are added with syrup and pandan essence so... Not 100% raw right. But anyway if I want it to be a 100% I have to make it myself or something heh. So I leave it some slack.

You need to have a good planning for the meal you're eating. What to have for breakfast etc. So yesterday I only had two raw meals (because my dinner is at 3 AM hahaha). I'm going to list what I have for breakfast and lunch and also how to make them.

Avocado banana soymilk - my ABS smoothie mwahaha

For breakfast I had avocado, banana and soymilk smoothie. Made simply by just blending all these ingredients together into a thick smoothie. I think I added the right amount of ingredients for the first time so it was thick and filling. Tastes really good too! I think it'll go awesome with almond or rice milk. But I can't find it so too bad.

Tomato and shallot salad

For lunch it's a tomato and shallot salad with olive oil and lemon dressing. I just put slices of shallot into a small bowl of lemon juice to infuse the flavour wooooh hahaha. Put the chopped tomatoes inside and drizzle with olive oil, add salt and mix them together. I think shallots and tomatoes are best friends.  They taste really good and refreshing.

For the night before I made guacamole which is made simply by mashing avocadoes with lemon and salt and pepper. Something is missing I don't know what. I used to make guacamole when I was in Singapore and I feel the one I made last time tasted much better hahaha. I think I didn't add onions inside heh. I'll make more in the future for my vegan days.

I couldn't feel a lot of significant difference in my body. But firstly, I think I had a wonderful sleep last night. And also my digestive system is working in its finest. Not diarrhea but it feels good shitting! Hahaha. Well it's a method of detoxification too so I suppose my intestines will thank me. I want to try being a raw vegan for like a week to feel more difference!

Okay so I was really strict about being raw yesterday (except the soymilk part) that I didn't eat rice or any form of cooked carbohydrates. So I was feeling so hungry throughout the day. Not sure if I can be a raw vegan without proper carbo because I'm a sucker for rice haha. So maybe next raw vegan days I'll cut it more slack and eat rice as well. Because I read online you don't need to be 100% to be considered raw. 75-100% is considered raw already.

It's a pretty interesting experience I must say. And I can't wait to try it more often in the future! :)

Oh and...

3/5 done :)

Being Buddhist

 Happy vesak!

Hello everyone, it's Vesak Day here in Indonesia so... Wishing all of you a very happy Vesak Day! :D Sabbe sata bhavantu sukithata, may all living things be happy! I know Vesak falls on Tuesday in Singapore but here it falls today. I guess there are different days for different countries so yup. I've always thought Vesak falls on the full-moon of the 4th lunar calendar (and that's Tuesday). Oh well new discoveries everyday! New lessons learned.

And also today I am a raw-vegan for a day! Shall blog about it tomorrow night.

Because... Tonight I wanna discuss here something about my religion. About being a Buddhist.

I have always regarded myself as a Buddhist since young. That's because, I tell myself that. That's because my family is a Buddhist and that I went to a temple for my Sunday school. When I was young I have never understood Buddhism. I see it as a religion and a practice that I ought to follow because I am born a Buddhist. It's true.

It was only in the recent years (like 5 years back) that I began to learn more about this religion of mine. And only recently that I begin to understand the beauty of it. Ever since 2012, when I went to the temple (Mangala Vihara) for their Sunday service, I truly begin to understand about Buddhism. The parita (chantings) that I read, and with a little bit of diligence and curiosity I went to search more about it from the internet and the books.

So I began in my conquest of finding out what does being a Buddhist mean. Is it being someone who goes to the temple everyday and chant everyday? Or someone who's a devoted vegetarian throughout his life? Or someone who shaves his head and stay in a cave to meditate for years to attain enlightenment? To me none of these are definitions of a Buddhist. In fact, I think one definition is not enough to define a Buddhist. It's not. Besides, I always remember the words of the Buddha. That no matter how many holy words you read, if you don't practise them, it's equivalent to nothing.

Of course, I would want to be like the Buddha, to reach enlightenment. And be free from the cycle of births and attain Nirvana. But does that mean that I have to "wait till I die" to see if I am free from this cycle of births?

After reading a lot of online materials and books, I realised that one does not need to sort of "live a life" to attain enlightenment. Yes, I think all (or most) goals of Buddhists is to attain enlightenment. So now, let me ask you, how do you define being enlightened?

Does being enlightened mean you become a person with a golden halo on top as you walk. Or maybe you feel like a supreme being walking on earth, somehow.

To me, being enlightened means to have short and simple revelations in life, that adds up to form your own meaning of life. It's like getting an epiphany to yourself and then this small thing can change the rest of your life, forever. For example, I've learned that I won't live forever, so I've decided to live my life to the fullest. Another example is that life is a suffering but it's something I feel worth suffering for. So I'll just bear with it. I've learned that nothing is permanent, not even your good days. So laugh the bad days off, because they'll be over one day.

I revolve around the 3 basic principles of existence of Buddhism. One is anicca which means impermanence Second is anatta which means non-self and the last is dukkha which means suffering.Anicca is simple and straight forward, that nothing is permanent. I've been grappling with the other two for years. To realise how those two relate to principles of existence. Now I kinda find out what they mean. In my own definition of course.

Anatta means non-self, and to me it means you need to accept the fact that there's no "I" in "me" (literally!). Meaning to get rid of your ego and selfish desires to be happy. This is a really difficult thing to do in my opinion. And because of its difficulty, we will grapple with this problem all of our lives. And thus results in the last principle, dukkha or suffering.

So yeah, if you can revolve around the three basic principles of existence, I'm sure one day you will get these small "revelations" about life. These will then help you to create your own meaning in life. And you'll be able to lead a happy and mindful life. And I think, to me, that's really equivalent of being enlightened. Because it feels like you have your own life to walk on. It feels like you have nothing else missing in life. You're wholesome. You're enlightened.

So yep. I think that's my definition of being a Buddhist. Someone who puts the words of the Buddha into practice, and revolves their lives around the 3 basic principles of existence. If done well, you'll be a Buddha - an enlightened person.

Before I end off this post I want to add a quote I come across with.

"Yankinci samudaya-dhammam sabban-tam nirodha-dhammanti" 
Whatever is subject to origination is all subject to cessation

Remember that your life will cease one day. Make the best out it. Be the best out of it.

Happy Waisak once again!

Mother's Day

 A mother's love, is a language

often misunderstood and misinterpreted

by her children.

It's pretty annoying that my internet is cheating my feeling for the past two days. It was working fine last night but well it died in the morning, and now it's still deciding whether it wants to live or die. So no I gotta see that internet bar if the signal is dead or alive. So I won't be able to publish this, and gotta wait for it to be alive again (if it dies halfway, hopefully not).

So yes it's the 2nd Sunday of May and Mother's Day is celebrated around the world. Except here because we're hipsters and celebrate it on the 22nd of December instead haha. Just kidding, yes we celebrate it in December. And as for me personally, we don't celebrate it. Like we don't buy cakes and make cards for my mother. We do it on her birthday more.

Every year without fail, my social media feed is filled with people wishing a happy Mother's day to their mothers and to all mothers around the world. And it's pretty heartening to see photos of themselves with their mothers in the present or in the past. So sweet! Sadly my mum doesn't like her photo to be taken so we rarely take pictures together except for special events like weddings or CNY etc haha. But it's alright, I don't like the take photos of myself either.

Anyway, and without fail also, there are those people who'll post "Today is not mother's day, everyday should be a mother's day!" which I totally agree. But wouldn't it be so creepy to tell the world how much you love your mother everyday hahaha. Well I take it that this day is really a day dedicated to all mothers out there, but especially your mother.

And I take this day as a day where we sit down and contemplate to ourselves about our mother. The strong lady who brought us up till today. Who had to carry us in her womb for 9 torturous months and then bring us into this world and raise us till today. Please, that's like the toughest job you can ever ask for haha. So salute to our mothers!

So take today as a day where we think about how we can pay back our mum's hard work to make us who we are today. That's why we use this day to give her cards, cakes and cook for them etc, to tell her specially how much we love them. Because we are so busy everyday that we forget this fact, to be thankful for them. So there is today, a day where we do that because we might forget to do it every other days because we're really busy with work.

Well I'm pretty sure my mum won't see this but well I am really thankful for my mum too. She's caring, wise and definitely a strong lady. She's a great cook, and I will never forget the things she did for me when I was in Singapore and up till today. Living away from your mum for a long time has really made me appreciate her more and more. Although we're back together now, I miss those phonecalls she made when I was still in Singapore.

And without fail she will ask me: "Have I eaten?"

That, to me, are the three most powerfully lovable and caring words a mum can utter.

For Asians HAHAHA.

Yes my mum nags a lot at times, but she nags because she loves me haha, that's what I always believe in since young. As we grow older, we grow smarter. And our ego made its way and we feel we're more "righteous" than our mothers. We rebel against what she told us to do simply because we feel we're "smarter" than her. And yes I'm guilty of doing such things too. But most of the time, mum is always right! Seriously hahaha.

So well I feel that a mother's love is a language often misunderstood and misinterpreted by her children. It is only until her children have children, that they will understand why. It is important that we respect our parents. Because we can't deny it but our parents have more experiences than us. Instead of rebutting with them, talk to them. That's all we need actually.

To my mum, I'm sorry if I have offended you in any way, and if I ever did something bad to you. Just wanna let you know how much I love you and how thankful I am to you for raising me since I'm a kid! :) It's time for me to pay back my debts to you. So yes, this is one major reason why I decided to return back here. I want to pay the debts I owe to my parents.

Alright I guess that's all for now. Praying that the internet will start working ASAP. Gonna call the technician tomorrow I suppose. Have an awesome week ahead everyone!

No Internet, No worries (?)

So right, I'm currently blogging without the house's internet being on. But thanks to the wonder of technology I'm using my phone's Wi-fi hotspot tethering so yay! I've been wanting to blog but the past few days the internet hasn't been a great friend of mine but anyway I decided to blog now. I hope my phone's bills won't explode because of this.

But anyway can't believe it's May already! If March went by pretty slowly to me, I truly feel that April went by pretty quickly somehow. I don't know why. I hope the next three months will zoom by too :P May's been good so far so I'm thankful for that. I hope the rest of the month will turn out as lovely. May is kind of the month I've been waiting for because Coldplay's new album is coming out HAHAHA. But yes been waiting for it so 19th May come faster!

Although the internet has been pretty wonky the past two days, I'm kind of enjoying it? So as usual I try to find ways to occupy myself. Last night I was tidying up my computer haha. And looking through old photos which made me feel really sentimental :( And tonight I was doing up some "report". I suppose life without internet is kinda inconvenient because well I can't do my favourite things. But it has its wonders and beauty too I suppose.

Alright just gonna make it a short post but I'm going to do the Great Music of April here!

Great Music of April:
- Going Home by Asgeir
- Torrent by Asgeir
- Human by Christina Perri
- Beautiful Times by Owl City featuring Lindsey Stirling

I really fell in love with Asgeir's whole album, In The Silence! So the two above are my favourite tracks from him. But the whole album is just so good. It's pretty funny actually how I actually liked Asgeir's video on Youtube of him singing dýrð í dauðaþögn, which is the Icelandic version of "In The Silence". When I listened to In The Silence I'm like why is he singing in English? Hahaha. But I'm thankful of the English version because that means I get to understand the lyrics and the song more.

Beautiful Times is a lovely new song from Owl City. I love the lyrics because they kinda speak about how I'm feeling right now. And Lindsey's violin playing is just as lovely too. I hope he's making a new album! :P

Alright that's all from me! Internet, I hope you get well soon.