Monday 31 October 2016

Quicksand

It's the last day of October can you believe it! As I was writing "1/11/16" just now, it felt so crazy and surreal that hey, the year is officially coming to an end. Well we still have two more months but urgh, if ten months of the year went by like this, what's two months right? Haha. October has been another crazy month! So glad I passed through it. Still got things to touch up on though.

I've been making a habit to write the things that I want to blog about as drafts. And then publish it when I'm done writing. It's kind of a complicated process, but at the same time I do have a list of things that I want to write about. I haven't found the time to write them all. Slowly but surely, I think I'll publish them all. Been keeping on track about the 100 post goals, hope to write more.

Alright I think I'll just move on to the great music of this month! Here goes:

Great Music of October:
- Winterbreak by Muna
- Loudspeaker by Muna
- Who's Got You Singing Again by PREP
- Futures by PREP
- Lying To You by Goldroom
- Silhouettes by Goldroom
- Tilted by Christine and The Queens
- High and Low by EOTS
- Way To Go by EOTS

So many great music are released in this month! Lets begin with PREP. Their EP is the second most anticipated album of this year (after Shura's debut) and I can't wait to receive the vinyl! I really love PREP and I'm so excited for the EP. I think it is like the "going home anthem", and I enjoy listening to them on my way home, singing my lungs out. Looking forward to the road ahead for them!

Next we have Empire of The Sun's 3rd album - Two Vines! I also pre-ordered it, but I love their new songs so much that I get them off iTunes first haha. I think it is an amazing album and they haven't lost their touch. Some people say they expected something different, but for me I love their vibes and stuff. So yeah. I'm glad to still hear their signature in this album. Three years worth the wait!

Got my copy of Goldroom's Debut album West of The West in this month and I'm so happy for Josh! The album is awesome and I truly hope I can see him live one day. That will be awesome. I missed him at WTF14 (I think) and man, I hope I'll get another chance. 

Muna is an awesome band from LA that I discovered from YouTube. I think I was putting some videos on shuffle and their song "Winter Break" was playing. I love the song and searched for more. I'm hooked now! Last but not least, I discovered Christine and The Queens from Shura and I'm so thankful for her haha. Tilted is such an awesome pop song and I kinda like the lyrics. Gonna save some money to get her album haha. I've been spending quite a lot on albums nowadays :P

I still have OneRepublic's new album on the way. Preordered them from a shop here but it hasn't arrived yet hmmm. I listened to it on Spotify and it's awesome though. I wanna give it a full proper listen.

Alrighty that's all for now. So many great music are released in October and it's so awesome. I'm looking forward to November and December. Especially November though, I get to finally go for a gig, a freaking concert! Haha. More info coming soon. In the mean time, I hope October went by wonderfully for you. Two more months to go, lets make 2016's epilogue a beautiful one :)

Thursday 27 October 2016

301

I was supposed to blog about this last night but my lovely internet had kindly died on me, and I am too stingy to use portable hotspot on my phone and thus, I'm here today. Anyway yes, yesterday was day 300 of the year! Which also means that it's the 300th day of me becoming a vegetarian. I am very pleased and surprised that I made it this far haha. Well, if you do things for the right reasons, life will make sure that you go along. And so I think I've done it for the right reasons.

Although I've become a vegetarian for this long, well to be honest I couldn't really feel any huge differences in my body. I didn't lose weight, or "feel" healthier. But then again how can we measure health right. I did a blood test last month though and my levels were awesome. My triglycerides level is below 100 (74) and I've never hit below 100 in my history of blood tests. It shows something right.

Well nevertheless like I mentioned a lot of times, I'm not doing this for health reasons. Whatever benefits I get in return, I take it as a good karma that life has given me. I do this for the animals.

Anyway I'm gonna do another separate post about this at the end of the year. A very long post.

The internet died last night so well, I couldn't do anything much. Sometimes I feel that my internet always died at the right times. Because of this, I finished my work last night haha. Work that I've been putting off for about one week (oops). And I did some needed journal writing too, and read a book.

I know it sounds crazy but I've come to a realisation that in the 24 hours of my day, I only have.... 2 - 3 hours of free time. When I mean free time, I mean a time where I can do whatever I want. And sometimes, I use this free time to do work hah. I've been teaching myself not to rely on something as my source of entertainment. YouTube has become my source of entertainment, now that I no longer watch TV. So if the internet died, I have other things to make me happy! Music, books, journals etc.

But most importantly, I'm glad that I have this 2 - 3 hours to myself, alone. I really need to spend sometime alone everyday. And this time of the day is the only time I have to be fully alone. Obviously I don't consider my pooping and bathing time as time spent alone. Or time I spent before dinner/before work. It's only 15 minutes of alone time. Now I have at least 2 hours. It's very very blissful.

As I grow up I realise that you'll have lesser and lesser time for yourself. So I always make sure and make full use of this time to be alone. I've always considered myself a loner. It's not necessarily something negative for me. Perhaps I've gotten used to solitude when I was still in Singapore and I want to carry this habit of mine with me. But then again, I've always enjoyed being alone.

Like I always believe - sometimes, most of the time, loneliness gives me happiness.

Tuesday 25 October 2016

MX Five

So yesterday was Coldplay's 5th album (Mylo Xyloto) 5th anniversary! Can't believe that it's released 5 years ago. It felt like a long time ago, but at the same time it feels like yesterday. MX is my 2nd favourite album from Coldplay (after A Rush of Blood To The Head). I love the feel and vibe of the album, but also, it's because I've shared so many great memories with that album!

The album was released on the 24th of October. I couldn't really remember when I bought it physically 5 years ago. But it was definitely around November-ish. Because I remember listening to Paradise after my KK training and during my runs as well heh. I shared a lot of nice memories with this album. From my first 10K run, to my first mountain climb, and a beautiful reminder that life is wonderful!

I can still remember the first time I discovered "Paradise". I remember taking falling asleep while watching MTV after school and then at night, I was woken up with the grand entrance of the synth and strings to the song. I was like oh my goodness what's this song? Cause the band isn't in the video, just an "elephant" in Africa haha. But I know it was Coldplay, I recognised Chris' voice.

And that's when I found out that they're releasing a new album, Mylo Xyloto.

Come to think of it, the only way where I discovered that my favourite band/artist is releasing a new song is via the radio. Although we had Facebook, the artist pages aren't as active and "informative" as they are today. I remember I discovered Viva la Vida through 98.7 FM. I remember listening to the song for the first time in the libary. Jes was with me and she was like "Adhi is that Coldplay?" Haha.

Times have changed of course, and I'm glad that I can get many access to these informations easier as compared to the past. In fact now, probably 70% of my social media use is to get informed of my favourite bands/artists for new albums or if they're coming here for a concert haha. 

Oh well, MX will always be one of the greatest albums ever released in my lifetime. I'm still looking for its vinyl! Perhaps I'll order one from Amazon haha. Alrighty, happy belated birthday Mylo Xyloto! :)

Saturday 22 October 2016

Haircut

So I went to get a haircut last Thursday and I was getting it at a new barber. I used to frequent this barber for the past hmm 6 months or so. However, I have no choice but to change to a new one cause the previous barber was asking me to lend him some money.... Yes, it was pretty awkward. And it was the 2nd time he asked me for it. I don't think it's appropriate to lend money to someone whom I only meet once a month (there are a few barbers and he's been cutting my hair for 3 months).

I felt a bit uncomfortable so I decided to switch barber eeeep.

But anyway, I don't really like switching barbers/hairdressers because I'm always left with the hairstyle dilemma. Whenever I go to a new barber, the first thing he'll ask me is "So what style do you want me to cut?". And of course I'll reply with a simple "Just cut it shorter" in which he'll ask me back "Yeah, but what style do you want me to cut" Hahaha. Which I don't know how to reply.

Because I know nothing about style heh. In Indonesia I usually tell them make it spiky. And most of the time the result is what I want. But last Thursday I felt that my top hair wasn't short enough so I asked him to cut it shorter. And he's like "But if I cut it shorter, it won't be spiky. It will be tapered". And of course I went "What's tapered?". Oh goodness, this is why I don't like switching babers haha.

Thankfully everything went well and he cut my hair according to how I want it to be cut hehe. I guess now he knows how I want my hair to be like! Although to be honest, after Googling, I'm kinda interested to get that tapered haircut. Maybe I should try it the next time I visit him :P

When I was in Singapore, I've been going to the same hairdresser for the past 9 years while I was there. Sometimes I go to that QB house place if I'm at Holland and wanna cut my hair. But most of the time I will go to my favourite hairdresser aunty who's been cutting my hair for 9 years! She's been cutting my hair since primary school till poly. It's quite crazy but yeah, she remembers my young days.

Sometimes I just have the thought of going back to my botak days. I've been keeping that botak hairstyle for 13 years of my life. I decided to change when I entered secondary school. And I went botak whenever I joined Hair For Hope. I was reading Timber Hawkeye's Faithfully Religionless and there was a part about "Decision Fatigue". He mentioned about why he shave his head and it was to avoid this decision fatigue. Life become simpler for him. And I have the same idea actually.

I don't have to worry about switching barbers because I'm sure every barber knows how to shave someone's head haha. I think the only worry I have is how I look. But since I don't really care much about that, I think it shouldn't be a problem. The only thing I don't like being botak is... I look fatter hahaha. Okay it's still into consideration, maybe I'll do it when I'm older.

But I think now that I found a new barber, things should be going okay. Hopefully....

Wednesday 19 October 2016

Happy Kathina!

Today we celebrated Kathina day at the temple. And also it co-incides with Avalokitesvara's Renunciation day and we always celebrate these two events together. So happy Kathina everyone! And yay I'm blessed that I am able to attend three of Avalokitesvara important days this year. 

In the temple just now, there was a nun who gave a short Dhamma talk. She talks about how we should not just think of doing good karma as doing good "actions". Like donating, helping people and so on. But the things we say, think and so on is also considered as something we can do to "donate" to our karmic bank. Even meditation, chanting sutras and praying is considered as such. 

Because she said by doing so, we're able to liberate our mind, even though just for that short while, from worries and negative thoughts. I think a lot of people forgot about this fact. The meaning of the word karma is action. And a lot of people forget that thinking and saying is also a form of action. So even though we help a lot of people, but our minds are filled with negative thoughts, what's the point?

The path to enlightenment is really the transformation of our minds, and not just our actions. And I think we need to have a change in our minds first before we can create a positive ripple effect to our life. From our speech, and then action and so on. I'm still working on this. Through daily meditation.

This is why I love Buddhism. I think it's a religion that improves our life through the transformation of our mind. And like the saying goes - change your mind, and you can change the world.

Tuesday 18 October 2016

Who Wants To Live Forever


You know how sometimes, in the most random-est occurrence, you just suddenly think of a random song? A few days this happened to me. I suddenly think of this great song by Queen, which was sang by Sarah Brightman as well. Don't get me wrong, I love the Queen's version, but it was through Sarah Brightman's DVD that I discovered this song heh. Almost 10 years ago!

One of the lyrics to this song is something I always keep inside my heart. It says:

"What is this thing that builds our dreams yet slips away from us"

I didn't really think of the answer until yesterday, when also, in the most random-est occurrence, I thought of the answer. I think the answer is time. Time builds our dreams and yet it slips away from us.

Upon further analysis of the lyric of this great song, I think this song is really about living in the moment. In the middle of the song it says "this life has only one sweet moment set aside for us". And in the last few part of the lyric it says "forever is all today". I think this "one sweet moment" refers to the present moment. And I think we always forget to enjoy and make good use of this sweet moment.

And thus the song asks who wants to live forever? As a reminder that there's no point to living forever if we can't make good use of the present of moment. Thus the lyric that goes "and we can live forever because forever is all today". Seriously, the present moment is the most beautiful place you'll go to thus far. Don't miss this chance, don't let this sweet moment slip away from you.

Saturday 15 October 2016

Illusion of Permanence

I'm kind of obsessed with impermanence. Well neither in the bad nor good way, just... Well I've accepted and sort of understood the principle behind it. Nothing is permanent in this world and once we understood this and live our life holding on to this principle, I think life will become easier. And better.

I think some people are living in the illusion of permanence. That whatever is happening to them, is permanent. Which can be dangerous. When we're going through a good time, we seem to hope and wish that it will last forever. And when we're going against a storm, we seem to believe that the storm is here to stay forever. When in fact, none of them will last forever. They last, till they last.

So for example like people who steal things, and people who gamble, or corrupt, they believe that this money will keep on increasing. That they are able to do this forever, because of this illusion. Once the bubble bursts, they might or might not stop doing it. If they realised the reality of impermanence, they will stop. And if they don't, the cycle will continue. In Buddhism it's Samsara.

Which brings me to the second of the four thoughts - Impermanence. 

I never really thought about this until 2012, when I started going to the temple. To be honest I'll never forget that Sunday. I was having a rough week in ITP and on that Sunday, I saw the term "contemplation of impermanence" and boom, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I googled Buddhist texts and so son about impermanence and whew, it was really something enlightening.

And since then, it has become my motto that impermanence keeps me going. 

Ah well, this is just a random thought about impermanence that I had ever since last post's incident. How I think that the reason why people keep on doing "bad" things, is because of this illusion that they're living in. I think we are all living in this illusion. It takes time for us to get out of there. 

Wednesday 12 October 2016

Precious

There are random times in my life where I just feel and realise... How fucking precious our life is. Like every, single, moment of this life is so precious. And that we should seriously live our life to the fullest, utilising every moment that we have to give the best in whatever we do. At the same time I feel sad and upset when I see people not doing this. When they do the complete opposite.

I kind of realised as I dig deeper and deeper into Buddhism, it is really a beautiful religion that focuses on making the best out of our lives. Buddhism really taught us how to live to the fullest. In Buddhism there is something know as "The Four Thoughts". The first thought says it all: that being born into this world as a human being is a very very fortunate event. Cause apparently it's difficult to be reborn as a human being heh. So we gotta be thankful to be given another opportunity. 

This thought is an important one because it sets the wheel going. By knowing how precious this human life of ours is, we are determined to really make good use of our time in this beautiful world.

So it really saddens me when I meet people who, instead of making full use of their time, decided to do bad things or waste this life away. People who commit crimes, people who hurt others, and so on. It's so sad really. Like why do we have to use this time in this world to hurt one another!

Tonight is kind of an interestingly "bad" night. Basically, someone in the company decided to steal kind of a huge sum of money - to gamble. We told him that well can you return the money, if not return at least half of the money. He said we should give him one more chance and we can cut his pay to return the money. No we can't do that. Cause this is the second time that he's doing this to us.

We were not like infuriated and stuff. We're just disappointed really. For me I was really upset that he has to do this at a young age of 25. He has a long way to go and now what? He wants to spend his youth in a jail cell? And what upsets me the most is he's begging us to give him one more chance and not to call the police yada yada, but he has the guts to steal the money. It doesn't make sense.

Like he's afraid of going to jail but unafraid of stealing money. Oh come on. You're so cute.

So yeah. It truly saddens me when people do this kind of thing. Oh and there's one more thing that upsets me - he doesn't want his parents to know because he's worried that they'll be shocked and get stressed out. Then why did you do this in the first place? Oh my goodness haha.

At the end of the day, humans will have to pay the price of their own stupidity.

And I'm sorry, life will never ever give you a discount.

Sunday 9 October 2016

Arriving At Places

Today feels like a milestone in my life heh. We opened a shop! It's no ordinary shop but a farming utilities shop. So if you ever need pesticides, fertilisers, herbicides etc, come and look for me mwahaha. Well I seriously am feeling a bit overwhelmed now that we opened a shop heh. I never really expected myself to do this. But well I'm kinda excited to see the road ahead!

Anyway today was just the opening day. It's a custom here that we invite a Kiyai (Muslim priest) to say a few prayers first. And then proceeding on to the cutting of the tumpeng. Tumpeng is like a yellow rice shaped into a pointed "mountain". The top of the mountain is then cut and toppled down by the owner of the shop. Well I leave it to one of my workers who'll be manning the shop to do this hah. The toppling down of the rice signifies the "official" opening of the shop. We close the ceremony with prayer again.

It's a very simple and humbling ceremony. Nothing much, we invite the neighbours and also the workers of the farm. We ate the rice and that's it. Let this be a great beginning of a wonderful road ahead. We're all still learning so I hope we can all help one another and walk along this journey together.

It was quite a hectic month of September for me. I was contacting the distributor and factories of the fertilisers etc and I got ping-ponged everywhere heh. But it was all worth it I guess. The perseverance and dead-ends I met eventually made me arrive on this day. Opening up a new business is seriously not easy job heh. So I salute everyone who works hard and set up a business! Alone.

At the end of this day, I came to ponder upon a thought. Sometimes in life, we arrive at places we never expect ourselves to arrive at. But it is in these places that sometimes, we found our life's calling. It is in these places that we discovered things we never come across before. Perhaps a new passion, a new dream and so on. It reminds me of the Dalai Lama's saying, sometimes not getting what you want can be a wonderful strike of luck. So yup, don't come to a negative conclusion right away. 

So yup. I never expect to arrive on this day, and do what I'm doing now. But the past three years have sort of helped me to find my life's calling. I don't know if I'll be successful and if this is truly my life's calling. But here's a cheers to all these places. Places that we'd love to arrive at, or places that we never expect to arrive at. For these places make life a splendid odyssey, and a wonderful adventure.

Thursday 6 October 2016

An Alright Start

So today... Well yesterday actually, something kinda exciting happened! After months, to be exact 9 months of work, the new farm is finally operational! Not 100%, still got stuff to do but we started planting on them yesterday. And the first greenhouse was planted fully today. Man, we're finally beginning to plant on the new plot. After months of planning and discussing, we're here! <3

Well to be honest, I never knew that I would land among the flowers. The past three years have been an exciting and interesting journey thus far, and I'm excited about this new chapter that we're going to continue writing ahead of us. I've never expected to be part of this project too. In my life, at this age heh. Well I just take it as a good training for future projects. Of course, I'm not alone here. In fact I'm just someone who gives ideas and planning and stuff. I don't execute plans.

I thought I wouldn't be able to put what I learned in Singapore into good use. Of course, I can't put what I learned in Biomed into what I'm doing now. But I'm glad that the countless projects and assignments have allowed me to think differently, fiercely and our of the box. 

So here's to all my teachers and lecturers who encouraged me to think fearlessly!

There are some points in this project where we were met with dead-ends. But I think and think hard and we always came up with different solutions. So yes I'm very proud of that heh. I think what I love the most is the fact that I did have the ability to prove some people wrong sometimes haha. 

Well like I said in my previous post about failures, this project has taught me to really focus on things. I just kept on pushing and moving onwards, focus on what I need to do and the solutions that I need to find to problems that we encounter. And here we are. Way in front, leaving our doubts and fears behind.

This is just the beginning. We still have to make sure that we can continue doing this and as usual, as always, face up the challenges that we'll meet. To my babies, I'll see you all bloom in Chinese New Year! Grow well, take care, and be beautiful in your beautiful different ways.

Tuesday 4 October 2016

Bad Mood

Relatively, I'm a quiet kind when I'm in a bad mood. I'd rather keep quiet when I'm angry/sad. Preferably, I would lock myself in my room and shut up, or listen to music. Well last night I was kind of in a bad mood. First of all I reached home late (1 AM late) and I had work to do, and lots of other things to do, and.... Someone decided to forget to pay the internet bills. That's when I "exploded".

Well first of all I need the internet to do work (emails and stuff). Secondly, internet is my source of entertainment so... After a long day, discovering that I don't have any platform to chill to, I feel pissed. Well I couldn't lock myself in the room. I still had work to do, dinner to help my mum cook and things like that. So... I felt kinda guilty that I was quiet to both my parents heh.

Sometimes when I'm upset I just wish I can go to my room straight and just stay there to seek comfort and solitude. But life being life, we can't just do this. Because most of the time we feel upset when we're with people eh? You can't just be alone -right away- after being upset. Sometimes I feel bad that I have to do this to other people. But sometimes I feel it's better to do this than being "explosive" around people haha. To me when I have problems, I like to keep it to myself. I don't like sharing with people unless I am seeking help from them, or they know the problem and want me to talk to them about it.

That's why I feel if I can have a super power, it is to disappear from earth without anyone noticing and asking me where I am mwahaha. That will be so wonderful won't it?

Oh well, I think this is where meditation comes into play. I think I'm not mindful enough to let everything go heh. I think I need to just to meditate more. To a level where I can just be fully aware of my emotions. And not be affected by the. Well... A long way to go but I'm on my way!

Alright October is here! So many exciting things are happening in this month. Legggoooooo (Y)