Saturday, 16 February 2019

It's Just A Joke

Recently, there was an incidence where a joke was placed at the wrong (and unnecessary) time. And alas some misunderstanding followed up and... Yeah. Things got awkward haha. 

Anyway this incidence reminds me of a similar case where I was the one who said something wrong. And from then onwards, I became a person who doesn't like to joke around. Not only because I'm afraid that I will put it in a wrong way, but also I'm a horrible joker hah. I feel like telling you about it!

Anyway the incidence happened back in secondary school. In sec 4 to be exact. I remember it was Chemistry class with Mdm Ng. She caught me talking in class and well she reprimanded me by saying something like "Adhi you still want to talk? I thought you want to give me an A1?"

To which I replied, as a joke, "Mdm Ng you watch out I'm going to give you an A1!"

I remember seeing the whole class gasp haha. And Mdm Ng's shocked face. I seriously thought it was a joke and a light situation until the whole class just went into this really awkward silence. Which was broken with Mdm Ng's words: "Adhi you better watch you words ar". And I went confused.

I felt even more horrible when Jeslyn came to me after class and asked me to apologise to Mdm Ng. I told her like wait, I was only joking, like you know I want to give her an A1 so she better "watch out" kind of thing. But yeah it was quite bad that a few other people actually asked me to apologise!

So after class I stayed behind and apologised and told her what I truly mean by that. And Mdm Ng understood, she just asked me to be more careful with my words. I swear after that day I felt so guilty about this whole incidence. Even up till today, whenever I thought about it. What was meant as a joke, suddenly became something so serious heh. So yep. Lesson learned from that day.

Anyway I ended up scoring an A2 for Os and when I came to Mdm Ng to thank her for everything she sarcastically said "Adhi I though you want to give me an A1? Where is it?" HAHAHA. But anyway she was happy cause I scored a B3 for prelims. I was happy too, even though a bit disappointed with myself because I thought I tackled the Chemistry paper well heh :P Gosh this was 10 years ago.

So yup, since then I stopped "joking" around because that incidence made me afraid to do so. Like what if my simple joke ended up as something offensive, even though I have zero intention to offend anyone. Okay unless someone was joking around (in terms of comedy) and I add on to it, I think that is the limit of my jokes. Also I'm a horrible joker, I'm not that ice-breaker in a group heh.

Also ever since I learn more about Buddhism, I am trying to apply what the Buddha taught about speech. How we should only say things that are necessary, beneficial and mindful to others. I forgot the criteria but yeah if the things that are going to leave our mouths don't fulfill any of the criteria, then it's better not to say it at all. Which is very helpful and pretty straightforward.

Just like the saying goes, say things like you mean it. If you don't mean it at all, then don't say it. Which is also why I'm relatively a quiet person. If I have nothing to say, I won't say anything.

Alrighty that's all for this random post! Today was my great grandma's 64th death anniversary, so my whole family gathered to do some prayers. But in the evening I was having a really bad headache (probably because I only slept for 3 hours last night) and another round of gastric. Probably because of the erratic sleep and eating time too. Feeling much better now. Okay, see you soon!

Saturday, 9 February 2019


It's Saturday night and I'm just chilling out with some records playing in the background. Anyway I wanna talk about something. I'm inside the music video of one of my favourite songs, from one of my favourite Indonesian artist! I'm just really happy to be able to contribute to this music video, because this song means a lot to me. It is a song that came at the right timing, that I'm glad to have crossed paths with. It's none other than Rehat by Kunto Aji, from his second album - Mantra Mantra.

Anyway the title Rehat means rest. Or like taking a break. More about the song later!

Right so in December, Kunto Aji (I call him by Mas Kun haha) posted on Instagram that he's collaborating with nkcthi for the music video of Rehat. There are 4 themes where we can follow, and we have to submit a video of 20 seconds in duration according to the themes. The themes are: morning ritual, chasing your dreams, failures and rehat itself. As mentioned above, this song means a lot to me. So of course I want to be part of the video together with many people!

I submitted two videos, one for morning ritual and one for rehat. My video is very simply, just a video of me meditating hah. Morning meditation has become a ritual for me in 2018. I decided to split my meditation into two, one in the morning and one in the evening. And it's been enjoyable so far! One of the new habits that I'm glad to have formed in 2018. As for the rehat video, I sent a video of me lighting up my aromatherapy candle. Also a new "obsession" I have thanks to my insomnia.

I wasn't really intending to have my videos chosen. I just want to take part and hopefully contribute to the video. And... My meditation video got chosen! To be honest I really really salute Mas Kun's team and the editor because the music video is so so beautiful. I heard that they have 1200+ video submissions. And I'm pretty sure lots of them are beautiful! Like the ones in the video. I really salute them for choosing all the videos because for me, that would be a very difficult process haha.

Anyway yes I'm just happy that I'm able to contribute to the music video. This song means a lot to me.

Why? Here goes.

2018 was rather a challenging for me, mentally and psychologically. I still remember in September ish, I was just feeling really crappy and stressed out. Until that night, when Mantra Mantra was released, I gave the album a listen from top to bottom. When I reached Rehat, I just stopped whatever I was doing and gave this song so many repeats heh. The lyrics are so so beautiful. Suddenly all of my worries disappear, and I become so much calmer. And Rehat has been in my monthly playlist since then.

Particularly the words "biarkanlah semesta bekerja untuk mu". Which co-incidentally is one of my favourite mottos in life - "let the universe work for you". Or also "may the universe conspire with you".

And the lyrics that go before the line above: "yang di cari, hilang. Yang di kejar, lari. Yang di tunggu, yang di harap".  It means something along this line: "Things that you're searching, go missing. Things that you're chasing, running away from you. Things that you're waiting for, hoping for..."

These lyrics hit a chord in my heart because well like I mentioned in my year-end post, 2018 felt like a year where I was hungry for permanence. For assurance, and for certainty. And life being life, you can never get all of these, because nothing in life is certain, except for death and uncertainty hah. So when I heard these lyrics, it really brought a whole level of calmness and assurance that the universe is working with you. Just don't worry and trust the process.

And also the beginning of the song that goes: "serat-serat harapan masih terjalin, suaramu terdengar, masih lah nyaring dan bergema, di ruang-ruang hatimu". It roughly translates to: "fibres of hope, still intact. Their voices heard, echoing loudly in the rooms of your heart." This is also something meaningful for me. Because as much as me trying to be a realist, part of me still holds on to the hopes that I have in my heart. It's a reminder that I still have hopes.

So yup. I love this song so much, and it means a lot to me. I am happy to be able to contribute to this music video, together with the rest of #teamrehat. I want to thank Mas Kun for writing such a beautiful and meaningful song that many people will find comfort in. Mantra Mantra is definitely an album that this world needs. Because it never stops worrying. Also to the editor of the video who has done such a fantastic job compiling and creating such a beautiful beautiful video!

Terima kasih Mas Kun, tim editor, dan #teamrehat.

Salam rehat

Oh wait I forgot. Those last few lines that go

"Untuk kalian yang lelah dengan keadaan, pencarian, kenangan, tuntutan, apa yand ada di pikiran, teirma kasih sudanh berjuang sampai sekarang". Which means: "To those of you who are tired with your situation, what you're chasing, memories, objectives, and whatever there is in your mind, thank you for fighting up till now." I cried during this part when I watched the video for the first time.

Friday, 8 February 2019

Under The Weather

Today was a sick day for me. Spent the day at home nursing some weird gastric that I'm having. It was more like a stomach cramp? It's weird cause I was feeling okay after breakfast etc. Went to the office, wanted to poop so I went back home and after that the cramp started happening. My mum has this condition too, and we feel better if we bend our body forward, like a baby's cradle position.

Usually I'll just have to wait until I burped/farted to let the gas out of my gastrointestinal track but not sure why I couldn't do either heh. And the cramp goes on and off. So I decided to just lay on my bed waiting for the cramp to stop. And then... It didn't! Argghh. So I just laid on my bed till the evening.

Also I might be having anaemia :O The past 3 days I've been feeling really dizzy and just light headed. I thought I was having the usual masuk angin cause I didn't have enough sleep during CNY, and that I was out and about (even walked in the rain) on Wednesday. In fact on Wednesday night I felt like I was about to faint! So I was doing work with my dad when he asked me a question. Suddenly his voice felt very distant and it felt like the table was shaking in my vision. Kinda terrifying!

Well I experienced fainting twice actually and it felt exactly the same. The surrounding sound getting distant and the ground feels like moving. I quickly put my head down and closed my eyes and everything felt very empty. Quite a terrifying experience but thankfully nothing serious happened.

I'm going to get my blood checked on Monday. Not sure why because my died didn't change except for me taking part in veganuary. But it's not a drastic change either. It might be because of green tea... I've been drinking green tea the past month now (trying to finish my tea stock, cause it was bought by my mum). And I did read that green tea actually makes it more difficult for iron, especially non-heme iron (aka iron from plants) to be absorbed by the body. So currently adding lemon to my tea! It helps.

Alright I hope I'll feel better soon. I hate this recurring dizziness that can occur in random times of the day. If not I'll just take iron supplements I guess haha. I've got a couple of blog posts to write so I will see you soon tomorrow! Finally feeling more free now that CNY is over heh. See ya.

Wednesday, 6 February 2019

Happy Chinese New Year of The Pig!

Happy CNY from the uncles and aunties of Baros United!

Hello! I'm a day late but anyway, wishing you a happy Chinese New Year! May you have a happy, prosperous and smooth-sailing year of the pig! And may this year be a better year for all of us. I had a great time gathering with my family on Monday-Tuesday and it is definitely something that I always look forward to each year! Had great food and great time reuniting with my family again.

As usual we had the CNY Eve prayers on Monday. We don't have a reunion dinner but more of like a reunion lunch haha since we're done with the prayers in the afternoon. Also because my aunt passed away last year, and it hasn't been a year, according to tradition, we have to do a separate prayers for her first. After that we do the usual prayers for my grandparents and ancestors.

Home is where the good food is

It was a bright and sunny CNY eve! Thankfully we had nice weather. I then went to the temple with my aunts in the evening. And we went for dinner. I then knocked out for 2 great hours because on the previous night, I only slept for 3 hours! I woke up early to cook some food for the prayers. And also I made some vegan meatball soup from Dharma Kitchen. And everyone loved it! They even asked me if this is vegetarian because... They smell really meaty. Dharma Kitchen you win!

After sleeping for a while, I went back to my grandma house and just chatted with my cousins. Also Mel just got back from her honeymoon and thankfully she's able to join us with her husband! So we were sharing about her honeymoon experience mwahaha. Then followed by the midnight prayers and the usual angpao-exchange mwahaha. It was a great CNY eve indeed. Glad to see everyone :)

CNY day one was alright too. Thankfully we don't have a lot of guests (#antisocial), but glad to see some people who always come to visit us during CNY :) Although I'm also quite sad because I lost a few people who were close to our family so... It felt a bit weird knowing that they didn't visit us this year. But well I guess that's what life is. All of us have to go through this I guess. Like how we didn't go to my grandma house. Cause she's no longer here with us :(

And yup that's all for CNY I guess. It was a great time with my family again. But as usual it also made me feel really old. Cause one by one my cousins are getting married. The next cousin to me is getting married this year which means I'm next in line. Oh dear! Hahaha. But nahh I will gladly let my younger cousins jump over me lol. Life isn't a race anyway so yep. 

Alright that's all for now! I will talk to you again soon :) Happy CNY once again!

Thursday, 31 January 2019

Yet To Come

It's been such a hectic end of month fiasco as usual, and I'm just stopping by here to blog before I get back to work! Whew it's been crazy hectic. Lots of people meeting, and also we had the CNY flower delivery yesterday, and tomorrow we're going to continue again. Well it's been quite successful so yay.

Anyway I just wanna talk about the great music of January in this short post!

Great Music of January
- Heard It In A Past Life by Maggie Rogers (debut album!)
- Midnight Parade by The Day (album)
- Sweet Time by Raveena
- No Better by Raveena
- Knock Me Off My Feet by Soak
- Lihtsus by Mick Pedaja

Song of the month: Yet To Come by The Day

Alright the year started off well musically with my first anticipated album of 2019, Maggie Rogers' debut album! And it's such a wonderful album and I'm so happy for Maggie for releasing it to the world. Heard a few of the songs before release as they're singles but the rest of the album is amazing too. Some of my favourites include Burning, Retrograde and Light On! I wanna see her live :D

I am also obsessed with a new band that I recently discovered like... 2 weeks ago? It's The Day and also their debut album, Midnight Parade. I chanced upon them on my release radar playlist. The song discovered was Where The Wild Things Are. But I gave their album a listen from top to bottom and wow. I am blown away. I really love the album! It's such a wonderfully crafted album really.

Discovered two new artists this month: Raveena and Mick Pedaja. Discovered Raveena while my Spotify radio was playing. And wow she's such a chill artist! I love her songs and how chill they are. Been enjoying listening to them during my drives. And I discovered Lihtsus by Mick Pedaja from my release radar playlist as well. I'm not sure how an Estonian artist can land in that playlist but wow I'm glad I discovered him! I love that song, it gives me a very... Breezy feeling heh.

And also I'm excited for Soak's new album coming in April after listening to 2 of her singles! Knock Me Off My Feet is such an awesome tune. Just the kind of song you wanna bop on!

Alright that's all from me this time. I am quite excited for February, one because there's CNY and two, because there's a few album release I'm excited for! One of them is Men I Trust debut album, which I don't know when they'll release it. They just say February haha. Alright, I'll see you soon.

Sunday, 27 January 2019

Spring Cleaning

Hello hello hello. Man it's been so long since I blogged and yes I can explain. I'm pretty annoyed cause for the past 4 days my internet died. And it truly died on the most perfect timing - when I'm finished with work and ready to just relax by using the internet haha. Well I called the technician yesterday and it turned out that there was something wrong with the router. He couldn't manage to find a replacement since it was almost evening time so he went to deliver it today.

And here I am now. Well I'm just annoyed cause err I was actually quite free last week and indeed I was planning to blog on some nights last week. But well, whatever it is, pretty sure things happened for a reason. And they did, cause I manage to do some spring cleaning! Well I did most of the work yesterday, but I did more tidying up on Friday and Saturday night. Pretty satisfied.

Anyway I am feeling satisfied that I am finished with my spring cleaning haha. I always do it before CNY, it's been a habit since when I was in Singapore. Actually I just learned about the habit of spring cleaning after I came to Singapore. I never heard about this tradition back when I was still in Indonesia. So I've been doing it since P6 I think. Back in Singapore I would always do it before I came back to Indonesia (if I was flying back). And it's always satisfying!

Also I'm quite proud of myself because well since 2016-ish, I've decided to adopt the minimalist lifestyle. Even though I'm far from being a "true" minimalist, I am proud that... I never really add anything into my room for the past few years! I was clearing out a lot of stuff and most of these stuffs were from the 2013/2014 era, or even stuff from Singapore. My cupboard is now emptier than before so yes. I'm proud. The only thing that increases in numbers is... My records haha.

As always, I will always stumble upon things from the past while spring cleaning. 

And now, presenting to you.... #thingsyoufindwhilespringcleaning!

Clockwise: Movie tickets (some dated to 2009), TSMB badge, 17th birthday cards from Brenda and Cheryl, the pen I used for O Levels, concert tickets (also some from 2009), my first Esplanade pass

Okay first of all there is one object that I am very surprised and happy to stumble across. It is this pouch that was given by my dearest 1A02 class in year one. I was given this pouch I think because I was class treasurer or something? So I was in charge of collecting money for class fund, to get birthday presents for our classmate and so on. And thus I was given this pouch to handle receipts, cash and so on. Well I did use it for that purpose, but after that, I used it for something else.

So I found that pouch again yesterday and to my surprise, there were "treasures" from my life in Singapore back 7-10 years ago. A stash of movie tickets, concert tickets, boarding passes and whatever tickets that I can keep. I was pretty surprised with this discover to be honest. Weirdly speaking, I have kinda forgotten about this (weird?) habit of mine. So to discover them again it feels... So weird. Like I'm happy to discover them, and I miss those days a lot!

I think I find it really weird that we seem to go through moment by moment, day by day, year by year, without knowing how we will look back upon these days in the future. Perhaps we'll see sadness, we'll see joy, and so on. We don't really know man. But I hope that we can all live our days fully so that we can always look back on the past with a smile. And of course hopefully we can all move forward with a more positive outlook in life, that as time goes by, we'll fill our life with days we can smile back upon.

But we can never live a life without the down sides. So hey, let us all just smile because we have made it this far! Through the pain and tears and sorrow that have made us who we are today.

Man yesterday was such a sentimental day for me. It was fun looking back. And I'm kind of eager to know how I will feel when the future me looks back on this Sunday that I'm living in.

Saturday, 19 January 2019

Love Your Butt

Sorry for the awkward title but last week has been quite painful for me and my butt. I had a huge ass boil on my butt and it was pretty excruciating haha. Well it actually burst last Saturday and thanks to my mum for helping me drain the abscess and puss. But after Saturday, the boil hasn't really healed properly so it was painful here and there. I had to slowly move to find a comfortable position to sit, and sometimes when the boil brushed against my underwear, it stings!

Well like they say, you never know what you have till its gone. Like how comfy your butt is hahaha.

Thankfully the boil has subsided a lot now and it's no longer painful. Sometimes it stings here and there but most of the time it's not. It was quite annoying cause last week, meditating felt like a chore to me heh. Meditating is always something I look forward to every day but last week it was ouch.

Anyway that's a very random update of my life. We've already went through 2/3rd of January now. Man, 19 days of 2019 has passed can you believe it! Well apart from me feeling shitty last week, we have quite a subtle start to the year. Things are going to get pretty exciting soon, with CNY coming. Which means my family is gathering soon and also we have the flower harvest coming.

Well, I'm still making my way to get myself out of these blue days. And I will. I guess.