TIL: Happiness

 You will find happiness 

when you discovered that it is nowhere to be found

It's the last day on January! Whew. Today was quite a tiring day for me cause I went to Jakarta with my brother in law to fetch his mum who came all the way from Ukraine! Well she wanna see her grandson of course so yup, so awed for her to make such a long trip down. But this isn't her first time so yeah. We left early today to go to Jakarta first because my bro in law gotta look for something.

I reached home again at 1 AM! So yeah pretty tired, but gonna post this one!

Okay I've decided to create a new post series every month called Things I Learned (TIL) which basically just talks about the things I learned in this month. Anything. Life lessons, etc and so on. Easier to talk once again at the end of the year :P I might change the name of this series along the way.

For this month is about... Happiness. Again.

I just come to a realisation that hmm happiness is such a weird thing. Like so far, the things that happened to me and so on, they taught me that I don't want to rely on happiness to make me happy. I know that sounds really absurd. Firstly, I have learned not to make it my destination or my goal. Because I know it is not there but it is something that we create. But then again, I realised even if we create it, we seem to make it difficult. We cling onto them so much that we feel "worried" if we don't.

Which is why I come to a realisation that you will find happiness when you realised that it is nowhere to be found. You will never find happiness anywhere. And once you discovered this fact, you will finally find it. It is empty, nowhere, and it's sort of non existing. I realised how much emptiness has helped me a lot last year. And seriously I don't want to have lots of happiness. I want emptiness.

It is very difficult to put into words, what I'm feeling about this. I just feel that I no longer want happiness? Because it's just such a weird thing to be honest haha. Okay I'm going to talk about this on another post. Anyway I have a couple of posts to talk about next month! So stay tuned for that :D

Sorry if I don't make sense here. I really don't know how to put it into words haha. 

Swoosh

Can you believe that tomorrow is the last day of January already? Not sure how to feel to realise this fact, can't believe 2017 is flying so quickly already haha. Although it's just the first month of the year. Well the past week has been a very busy one with Chinese New Year and so on. So perhaps I forgot how fast time is flying. Especially last week when whew, so many things are happening!

Anyway let's talk about the great music of January! First one of the year. Okay I really failed last year to include song of the month so that it's easier for me to compile the list at the end of the year. 

So here goes!

Great Music of January:

- Warm Waves by Observer Drift

- Lamun Ombak by Mondo Gascaro feat Aprilia Apsari

- Rainy Days On The Sidewalk by Mondo Gascaro

Song of the month: Lamun Ombak by Mondo Gascaro feat Aprilia Apsari

Okay the year started quite slow with these music! I finally received my copy of Mondo Gascaro's debut album Rajakelana which was launched on 21st of Jan! Co-incidentally I received mine then too haha. I think it's such a fantastic album. It is well-written, arranged and definitely the kind of album that will make you want to go somewhere and forget about life haha. Which suits the name of the album which means "King of wandering". Definitely inside my top Indonesian albums so far.

I discovered Observer Drift in YouTube again, I really fell in love with his song Warm Waves! Such a perfect song for driving and long bus rides. I hope to hear more from him!

Alright it's a slow start like I said, but there are a couple of albums I'm waiting for. Aquilo released their debut last Friday too and it's currently on the way here! I was listening to it on my Spotify haha. Muna will also release their debut next week. Tycho also released their debut album (physical format) and I can't wait too weee. Man, so many great albums! And more to come this year.

Okay that's all for now. Here's to more music discovery journey in 2017! See ya again :)

Happy Chinese New Year 2568!

 Now that we officially have 2 nephews and 1 niece,

Happy Chinese New Year from the cool uncles and aunties of Baros United!

Hello everyone, first of all just wanna wish you a happy happy Chinese New Year! It's the year of the rooster now, and the monkey year has bid farewell. Whew it's been a roller coaster monkey year for me and I'm looking forward to take a bit of a breather in this year of the rooster.

 Home is where the good food is

Anyway as usual, my family gathered for this yearly special occasion. Well we gathered yesterday actually, my aunts went back to Jakarta today. Yesterday we did the prayers as usual on the eve of the new year. We don't really do reunion dinners but reunion lunch haha. I went to the temple with my aunt in the evening as well. My cousins came in the evening cause they're either working or in uni.

This year I made lentil mushroom and corn cake! Haha I mean.. Fried patties. Recipe coming soon.

 The dudes

At night my cousins and I gathered and we played some games (it's werewolf). But now that we're all grownups, we play them while we drink... Beer of course. When it hit midnight we did the nightly prayers and then the angpao distribution begins mwahaha. That's all for CNY eve.

 And ladies!

As for today it was a pretty chill day again. I kinda love it! Haha. Perhaps it's due to the rain that's been falling since morning. We received little guests today and that's a relief hahaha. I'm such an anti-social. But it's always good to see familiar faces visiting us, and to know they're healthy and well. In the evening we went to my grandma's house. Well, she's getting old and we can see signs of dementia coming in :( But well, it's life, we will all go through this phase one day. But she's looking good!

Well what can I say. Every CNY would always make me feel old because seeing everyone around me (including myself) grow up and get older. We're no longer the kids that used to run around the house. We no longer talk about kids stuff. My youngest cousin is in secondary school now and it feels like yesterday when they were still so small and young. It really feels like yesterday.

Anyway that's all for me tonight. Felt like a long day though it was quite a chill one. I wanna turn in earlier tonight haha. Alright once again wishing you a happy Chinese New Year and I hope you had a wonderful day with your loved ones! Here's to a better year of the rooster ahead of us! :)

We Bloom

So today was another... Successful harvest yay! Well for the record it was indeed the biggest harvest we ever did, 636 rolls of flowers which is equal to 31.800 stalks of flowers in one day! Weee. That's almost like twice the usual amount we harvest on a usual delivery. However... We are still short of flowers. It wasn't a full order like what my customers ordered. But well we can't help it because the remaining flowers have not bloomed, and we can't harvest them either so yes.

But nevertheless, I'm glad we did this today! I was quite worried that they will not bloom on time but nope, mother nature has conspired with us weee. Thankful to my workers' hard work today. From harvesting, to packing and loading them. I just hope the flowers will arrive safely.

Every year I always learn from the mistake we made. So this time round I think we have decided to increase the amount of planting time. I was assuming that because we planted so much for CNY, we will have "enough" flowers for delivery but nope. I mean yes we have enough, but they haven't bloomed haha. So the key here is really duration. That's the lesson we learned this year.

In 2015 we miscalculated the days. In 2016 it was successful but same, it was the weather. In 2017 it's even more successful but the weather is still a problem. So yep. We've found a solution.

The most exciting and challenging thing about being in the agriculture industry is that we really need to experiment and wait. Unlike in non-living-things industries, where we can see "instant" results in experiments (say a new product made, etc), in this industry we gotta wait for 3 months for the flowers to bloom. And we just continue learning and learning and growing. And getting better.

That's what life is all about - getting better!

Well I can sort of breathe a sigh of relief because another big harvest is finished now. We've learned new lessons for the future and well it's time we implement it. I never expected to land among the flowers but I'm really enjoying what I'm doing now. Flowers are lovely beings. Unlike some humans. Oops hahaha. But yeah, they taught me a lot too. Which I'm gonna talk on another post!

Anyway it's 3 more days to CNY and I'm excited! Looking forward to gathering with my family again and also the food and reunion. Now that the harvest is over, I can relax a bit heh. Alright I'll see you again soon. Have a great mid-week everyone! CNY weekend is coming :P

Harvest

Today is kind of the day we've been waiting for, again! Well the flowers in the new expansion of the farm have finally bloomed and we are harvesting them. Not all though, saving most of the flowers for Tuesday as it'll be harvested for Chinese New Year. Which is this Saturday! Holy pineapple tarts. Time flies isn't it. Hmm I'm not sure if this time round, it's considered a successful harvest or not. Well I think it is, but we haven't really hit the bullseye. Which is kinda mehh, it's okay, always learning!

Okay so actually I would say this is a miracle. How and why? Okay here goes the story.

My workers were asking me when to plant for CNY back in September. Believe it or not, I miscalculated. I told him that it was 12th of October. I have no idea how I miscalculate to have that day. However, at the end of September my worker was asking if I would want to just start planting earlier on the 5th of October because well, err we were running out of lands to plant haha. So I said sure why not.

So we begin planting on the 5th of October, and on the 12th of October we were "supposedly" planting for CNY harvest. However in December I grew suspicious because the difference in growth between the first and second greenhouses is huge. I am definitely sure that the second greenhouse won't make it for CNY. So I was curious and I recalculated the date. It is supposed to be the fifth!

I was so mind blown. A mixture of relief and angst and stupidity swirls inside my head. I went to tell my worker and seriously if he didn't ask me to plant earlier, we won't have flowers for CNY. So well yup, the universe has once again conspired with me. I don't know this happened but I'm just awe-struck and thankful for all these chains of events. Now I've changed my habit. I have a calendar on when to plant and so on, for Idul Fitri, Hari Raya Haji and Christmas. It's safer.

Well I would say we haven't hit the bullseye because not all of the flowers have bloomed according to our time. Some were even being harvested since two weeks ago! But well after being in the flower industry for three years, flowers are living things at the end of the day. We can never control how they should grown, when they should bloom and so on and forth. Which is the beauty of the industry.

We are however, able to take precautions. Like planting more than what we need, or giving it an extra days during the rainy season. Or now I learn that we should plant in a duration of two weeks, not just one week, for a harvest 112 days later. Just for precautions like this case.

Sometimes no matter how much we plan, no matter how much we want "nature" to be like, I believe mother nature is a better planner than us. Or in fact, she's the best planner of the planet.

Can't Sleep

Pretty annoyed with the fact that I've been having insomnia for the past 4 days now. I can sleep, and I always have a good sleep. It's just that it's kinda difficult to fall asleep heh. I'm not sure why but somehow, I always get some bouts of insomnia here and there. Like maybe once every month of two.

Okay so usually I go to bed at 5 AM (or earlier) and I'll sleep by 5.30 AM or so. Nowadays I'll sleep earliest by 6.30! I would spend an hour just being awake. I always avoid checking my phone cause they say it usually keeps you awake. I do watch some YouTube videos before I sleep. Usually it's either songs or someone talking about something, and I'll sleep while watching them heh.

But now even the videos can't help. I would then go to music and well music kinda helps. These days I've been falling asleep to music. The weird thing is that I had such a great sleep when I fall asleep. But because I sleep late, I woke up late too. Usually I wake up at 12:30 - 1 PM and now I would wake up at like 1 PM plus. And I'd feel annoyed, and the cycle continues. Urgghhh.

I tried to cut tea last night, thinking it was the caffeine or something but nope, I was still fresh at 6 AM heh. So probably not the tea. Well they say when you're having insomnia, there's usually lots of thoughts in your subconscious mind. Do I? I'm not sure haha. But oh well I'm just gonna try to sleep earlier now. I'm planning to go to bed before five, that should buy me some time right.

The worst case of insomnia that I ever experienced was in Singapore back in January 2013. It was so bad that I didn't even sleep the entire night. I gave up sleep thinking that I would have a good sleep the next night but I was still feeling restless. I could still remember sitting outside my room in the balcony at 4 AM and then back into my room and back outside till the sun rises. And then it was 8 AM and I was still watching TV. I couldn't sleep or anything. Thankfully it was a Saturday! :O

Sleep is really a mysterious thing. Like really, why do we sleep? How do we sleep? What happen when we sleep? Perhaps it's really something kinda unexplainable. I was reading an article a few years ago about how scientists are actually still baffled about sleeping and its purpose etc. 

Well, sleep while you can my friends. Cause one day we might need to take sleeping pills to sleep.

Cozy

I think I haven't updated you here but I'm currently staying inside my 2nd sister's room! Been here for almost a week now. My eldest sister and my nephew is now staying at my house so my sis is back in her room, her helper in my room and currently I'm in my 2nd sister's room. This used to be my piano room but we converted it into a bedroom for my 2nd sis and her husband.

I really like it here. It's very cozy, albeit stuffy sometimes. It's what I imagine how I want my room to be. But I wish it can be slightly bigger. It's kind of the perfect size for one person though.

I've also made a drawer and another new rack for my room! Well I was actually doing spring cleaning last week before my sis came, didn't have the chance to move the stuff inside the drawers etc. I'm going to do so before CNY. But yeah earlier this year, or wait actually end of last year, I was talking to my mum about a few options to "extend" the space in my room. Cause it's always messy.

Especially my table which is always in a constant loop of messiness hahaha. I was thinking maybe my table is pretty small. Well compared to other "normal" tables that people usually use, it is pretty small. So I consulted my mum and sister although my sister has a good point: No matter how big my table is, it's gonna be messy... Sob sob. Well hopefully not. I think the new racks will help a lot.

I think like I really want to make myself more organised. Now that I'm getting busier and busier with work, I'm pretty sure my table is gonna get messier too. But I suppose it's getting better and better as compared to a few years back. I was really trying quite hard to organise my life back in 2015-ish heh. That's when I bought plastic drawers and so on. It's good, but not good enough. Not neat enough.

Which brings me to my next point. I think I found a resolution for this year! I want to try the minimalist lifestyle in 2017. Getting rid of what I don't need and just owning as little things as possible. I was really inspired by the video on Facebook about how many Japanese are opting this lifestyle. And also I've been following a minimalist YouTuber Jenny Mustard who's been really inspirational.

Okay I'm still reading up and planning how I'm going to make this into practice. I got the gist of it and really hoping to put it into practice ASAP. Sometimes I feel like what I need is space, to make things tidy. But after reading and watching materials about minimalism, I feel like maybe I own too many things. Like I need to get rid/give away some and make space so that my room will be clutter-free. 

Alright I'm gonna stop here now. Gonna talk more about this resolution on another post :)

Indonesia Veggie Lyfe

Was reading my post about being a vegetarian again when I realised that I didn't really talk about my experience being one in Indonesia! So I suppose this is a continuation of that veggie lyfe post. Thoughts about being a vegetarian in this lovely country of mine. And it's great actually!

To begin with I just want to say that I think Indonesia is a great place for vegetarians. We have lots of veggie dishes and most importantly, we invented tempeh. Also tofu is like a daily staple here, like it's readily available everywhere. The only problem I find about these conveniences is that most of the time, food sellers fry meat and tofu and tempeh together in one wok. So yeah, gotta watch that.

I'm gonna break this post into two parts - at home and eating outside.

Although I'm the only vegetarian in the family, eating at home is never a problem because thankfully my father needs to have a veggie dish in our meals. And like mentioned above, tofu and tempeh is always there. For breakfast I usually make my own. Most of the time I eat oatmeal with soymilk, bread, or the occasional nasi kuning (yellow rice with tempeh, potato and gravy). For lunch it's usually stir fried vegetable, tofu, tempeh or soups. And we should never forget: Sambal! 

For dinner it's always stir fried vegetables which I share with my parents. And then usually my mum would cook another dish that consists of tofu and etc. Eating at home is never a problem! :)

Sometimes we don't cook and we buy food from outside. There are a few Chinese restaurants in my hometown and we always frequent two of them. Thankfully they are very understanding and they serve vegetarian dishes. And they even delightfully cook the vegetarian version of my favourite non-veg food. Like stir fried butter chicken with garlic (changed to tofu), Salted egg crab (changed to tofu), and even stir fried "eel" with fumak (a vegetable here), changed to mushrooms instead.

One of the greatest concerns that I had was eating out. But thankfully in my experience of eating out (which I rarely do... Haha) I found no problems too. There are always vegetarian option. Be it simply fried tofu and tempe, pasta with mushroom sauce etc. There's also the occasional fried rice/noodle/beehoon with vegetables only. Worst case scenario would be me eating the dessert only haha.

And also yup you gotta be careful about the place where they fry your food, cause sometimes they fry both meat and tofu./tempeh in one wok. Most of the time I close one eye, unless it's blatantly obvious that they do that like the roadside stalls. And of course you can always ask the restaurant if the food you ordered contains meat or not. Or just simply ask any meatless options.

Indonesia food in general is quite vegetarian friendly because we have a lot of veggie dishes. Here we have lalapan which is basically raw/boiled vegetables served with sambal. Pepes which is like steamed dishes in banana leaves. There are chicken pepes but there's also tofu ones. Orek tempe which is stir fried tempeh strips. Telur Balado, which is eggs in chili gravy/sauce. I can continue man, the list goes and on. But yes basically, veggie options aplenty! Just double check if needed.

Oh and also one thing: be careful with terasi (balacan) cause some chili may contain those.

Sadly I don't take a lot of food photos... Haha. But I'm planning to do so this year! Gonna start sharing it on my instagram heh. I've made it a habit that I don't carry my phone to the table so usually I don't snap photos. Except for dinner because I'm the one cooking so I have my phone to kill time hah.

I am looking forward to trying out more vegetarian food here. I found a few vegan restaurants in Jakarta so might wanna check them out :) I think vegetarianism is not really common in Indonesia. Maybe in Jakarta/Medan/Pekanbaru where there's quite a high Buddhist population. But I know it is gaining more attention. I was reading a few articles and there's even a vegetarian society of Indonesia! Wow.

Alright that's all for now! I am planning to share more veggie stuff this year, both on the blog and on instagram. Indonesia sure is a lovely place to be a vegetarian! :D

Let Me Entertain You

I've been wanting to blog about this since like Tuesday but some things always crop out and I always ended up not blogging. Oh dear I hope it's not a sign that I will have lesser chance to blog this year heh. But anyway, I wanna talk about something today. I think I blogged about this before.

So I think I blogged about how I gave my TV away to one of my workers about 2 years ago. Well actually I still have a TV. It's located in my sister's room which is just beside my room. We actually shared a decoder together, so it's one decoder and two TVs. But as the years go by, I rarely watched TV. And then my second sister moved into another room and she has another TV, which shared that decoder too. So back to two TVs and one decoder. So practically, that decoder is only for her TV heh.

Although I can watch TV still in my sister's room, I suppose life got the better of me and so I watch it less and less. Also I have no time to watch TV heh like seriously. So you can say that it's been almost two years since I lived without TV. The only time that I would watch TV would be when I watch them with my parents in the living room, or with my sister in her room. Apart from that, nope.

Now however... I am officially decoder-less heh. I decided to move the decoded in my sister's room to my dad's room. He has a TV and another decoder (it's a free one with just local channels). So I changed this decoder to the one that I have in my room so that he can enjoy cable TV too.

So I am officially... TV-less!

Like I once said the my source of entertainment has changed. I rely on the internet as my source of entertainment. It's quite funny because in Singapore I love watching TV. I think I spent more time watching TV to relax and enjoy my rest time than surfing the internet/YouTube. Be it movies, random shows and documentaries, I just love flipping through the channel.

But life has been very busy as I got back here and the time I spent watching TV decreased dramatically. Back in 2013-2014 ish I still watch TV in my room. Or in my sister's room (cause there's a super comfortable couch) every Saturday night. But most of the time I'd go to my laptop to watch videos on YouTube, read articles, blog, listen to music and of course, write on my journal.

Across the years, I've learned one thing. And I've been training myself to do this; to rely on myself to keep me happy. I created this sort of "entertainment hierarchy" for me. Like what do I do in my free time? What do I enjoy doing? And what if I can't do them? What are the alternatives?

So here goes:

1. Internet

From YouTube, to reading articles, blogging to listening to music (either online or etc). After I do my work and eat dinner, I'd open my laptop and my Firefox to start surfing. I know it's kind of a bad habit but well, I always try to do things that I enjoy. Or things that I am curious about.

Which brings me to my next point: YouTube. See the thing I like about YouTube is that the contents inside are not so long. Videos that range from 2-30 minutes are pretty enjoyable. It's like you can watch a lot of things in one hour, as compared to TV shows that last probably a minimum of 30 minutes. Sometimes I would dedicate a night watching documentaries on YouTube too heh.

YouTube has really become a part of my entertainment life. Just to name a few: Casey Neistat, Fun For Louis, Buzzfeed, lots of different channels and vloggers. And also now I enjoy watching vegan recipes haha. I think I should dedicate a special post for this! :P

2. Writing

What if the internet fails? Well I have two options. One is writing and the other is music. I usually write an entry in my journal. Or I would just randomly write poems and random writings on an empty (reused) paper. I am looking into trying out calligraphy too. Because my Tibet journal is still empty and I'm looking for ways to use it. I've always been interested in calligraphy, although I have a horrible handwriting haha. I've been doing it on my pen, I think I should get a calligraphy pen soon.

3. Music

If I don't write, I would listen to music. I would listen to music on my iPod. I would lie on my bed and just listen to music. I've been doing this since I'm in primary school so it has become a habit. In fact I always go to sleep listening to music. Unless I'm very very sleepy and tired.

Now... All the first three "levels" require something: electricity. So if the internet fails, I can still write, if I can't write, I'll listen to music. What if there's a power outage! Well usually I keep my iPod charged all time. Cause I really need music haha. But if I can't use it well.. I still have my discman and my loads of CDs heh. There was a time when there was a power outage at 4 AM and my iPod was out of juice. So I ended up listening to some music on my discman and it's pretty good.

The ultimate ultimate option is to meditate. That's what I do most when I'm traveling heh. If I'm in a position and time where I don't want to do nothing, I would meditate. Or chant, or whatever heh.

There you have it, this is how I keep myself happy through "entertainment". It is when I learn that seriously, we are the only ones that are able to keep ourself happy. Because I don't want to rely on one thing to keep me happy. In my case it is the internet. So yeah if it fails me, I have other options to choose from. No worries! I don't feel annoyed when the internet is down or something.

I used to feel very urgghh back in Singapore when the internet in my room died. Especially at night. There was also a time when the internet was down and the TV was down and I thought it felt like the end of the entertainment world. I always blame Starhub and Singtel for "ruining my night".

But nevertheless, I've learned to rely on myself to keep me entertained. And that I don't want to rely on one thing only to make me "happy". I am the best companion I have, and I am the best person who can keep me happy. Hmm, I think we will all be happier that way.

Happy New Year 2017!

Hello hello, just wanna wish you a happy happy new year 2017! It's another new year, can you believe it. 2016 has been such an insane odyssey and let us all make 2017 a better year ahead! It was a pretty alright New Year's Day for me here. Well it feels like an ordinary Sunday. Delivery to do, and stuff to do at night. I think as you grow older you don't really feel any difference between NYD and other days. Come to think of it it's really just another day, just that we're crossing into a new year.

New Year's Eve yesterday was alright too. I went to the temple as usual in the afternoon. It's been a habit I have since I don't know when. I usually went with my mum last time but I gotta do stocks so I went ahead first. After that I went to the shop to do stocks! Hahaha, you know you're growing up when you have work to do on NYE and NYD heh. I was even doing calculations 10 minutes before twelve midnight! Until my dad called me to boil some water for tea for the prayers.

Well this time round NYE is kinda more "fun" although there were only my parents, brother, sister and her husband. We were just watching TV after that, talking about the news and watching how different parts of Indonesia and the world are ushering the new year. And as usual at every dawn of the first day of the year, I went to drink alone in my room. That's how I celebrate NYE mwahaha.

Thankfully no hangover this year! Well I was just having a light headache when I woke up.

2017 is another blank canvas for me. I don't know what's in store for me this year and I don't have many plans either. Although I did spend some time thinking about some resolutions last night. I entered 2016 without any major resolutions. Things like blogging, journaling etc are not considered "major" ones okay haha. And I'd like to keep it this way. I think resolutions should come along the way.

Well it's been a challenging year in 2016. But I know that I'm going to make 2017 a better year. Every year should just be a better version of the previous year. Until we die. The things I went through and all the arduous journey have definitely made me a stronger person. So let's just continue to become better and stronger in 2017. In every aspect of our own lives.

Embracing the uncertain is never easy. But I feel there's also a beauty in it. Because nothing is certain in life, everything is constantly changing. The best way to embrace it is to really live in the moment. To take whatever you have now, in this moment, and make them beautiful. 

Anyway it was a fine day today. The sky was blue and the sun was shining so brightly. I hope that it is a sign that the stormy days have passed and that the blue skies I'm waiting for is finally coming in this year. Come to think of it it's been like dark and gloomy on the first day of the year for the past 3 years or so. 

Alright that's all from me on this first day of the year. As usual, I'm looking forward to read my posts from this year at the end of 2017. Damn, it'll be my 9th year blogging this year. Time is so cray cray man. Alrighty I wanna wish you a happy new year again, may this year be a better year for all of us! :)