Rush

Today was such a busy day with so many things to do. And I'm still not done yet! So here's just a quick post about the great music of March before I leave for Coldplay later :O It's happening!

Great Music of March:

- Alaska by Maggie Rogers

- Better by Maggie Rogers

- Nirvana by Ryder

- Don't You Forget by Cafune

- Like It's Over by Jai Wolf

- Drive by Jai Wolf ft Chain Gang of 1974

Song of the month: Alaska by Maggie Rogers and Nirvana by Ryder

Don't think there's any music I'm anticipating in this month hmm but I discovered these awesome music! All thanks to YouTube haha. Except for Jai Wolf. Maggie Rogers' video for Alaska was once again, inside my recommendation tab. I clicked on it and damn, it's such a nice and catchy song! She has a unique voice too. And after searching more about her, that's when I discovered Cafune too.

So both of them were inside a music mentoring programme with Pharrel Williams and I'm glad I discovered both of them. Cafune's song "Don't You Forget" is also a wonderful pop song with pretty meaningful lyrics, especially to everyone having some rough times! I am so excited for the two of them, they have a wonderful road ahead of them for sure. Looking forward to more of their music! :)

Discovered Ryder's song Nirvana from Sheepy again and damn it's such a nice song. It reminds me of a song I listened before way a long time ago... But I couldn't really point out to a particular song. And I feel that songs like this are hard to find these days. From the beats and the melody and chord progression. It's been on repeat for me since I discovered it. Looking forward to more of Ryder too.

Last but not least, I discovered Jai Wolf last year... Or in 2015 I think. It was through his song "Indian Summer". Well I'm kind of a bad fan, I didn't realise that he actually released an EP last year! I found his song similarly in my recommendation tab and I was like "wait did he release a new song?" and... Yeah. I love his new EP seriously. And I'm excited for his new album! He said it'll be a continuation from the EP so it's gonna be awesome weee. He's really a talented producer.

Alright that's all for now. I am anticipating some new music being released in April so yep! And more in the few coming months. I'll be leaving to Jakarta for Singapore soon for COLDPLAY! I am so so excited. My dream is coming true finally. Alright in the meantime, time to do more work :P

To My Girlfriend

 Disclaimer: I do not have a girlfriend.

I do have my camera which I always regard as my girlfriend hahaha. Anyway yesterday I sold away my DSLR. It's not sold yet as I'm still waiting for the price that the guy is offering me. I'm currently officially camera-less. Never thought this day would come but well here I am now! Wait actually I bought a new camera haha, that's why I sold my previous DSLR. Cause I don't need 2.

More about the new boyfriend soon.

Anyway it's been 5 years since I am using my Sony DSLT A57. It's a great camera for sure, and I really love it. Especially when paired with my 16-50mm F2.8 lens. I traveled to many places with her and we take so many great photos and make so many babies memories together. But nothing lasts forever and I know I have to bid farewell to her and so, yesterday was the day. I'm sad, cause I have so many emotional bonds with her but nevertheless, I think it's better for her to go too.

The reason for selling my DSLR away is really because I rarely shoot nowadays. I have a busy schedule and I only take my camera with me when I travel or when I go out of town. And that's pretty rare too. Like you know I only travel once a year so year heh. Instead of just keeping my camera inside my box and my cupboard, I think it's better to sell it to someone who might use it more than me.

Don't get me wrong, like I said in my previous post, I will never give up photography. It is something I really enjoy doing since probably 10 years or so (although I got my first camera only 7 years ago). And I have a new camera now. It's interchangeable lens camera, Sony too. It's smaller and more practical so I suppose it suits my current life and use more. One lens, one camera! Heh.

Okay anyway here's a special post dedicated to my girlfriend of 5 years!

I can still remember that I decided to get you from IT fair on September 2012. I can still remember that I got it with Vithya. I was researching online about the offers from Sony Booths and I wanted to get the A77 but it was rather too expensive for my budget. So I decided to get you and you're really something that exceeds my expectations. Was kinda thankful that I didn't get the A77 hah.

We went to so many places together. Bali, Thailand, Iceland, Australia, and our latest trip was Tibet. You have captured so many of the beautiful sights that I've seen  and immortalise them. All these experiences and moments that I can never retrieve back. So thank you for that!

And of course not forgetting those days in Singapore where we would just go on dates to random places. Waiting for the sun to set, capturing sunsets and sunrises. I'll never forget those days. This is actually where the concept of "girlfriend" comes along. Because people usually bring their loved ones out for dates but... I bring my camera haha. So yeah, thank you for being such a wonderful girlfriend all these 5 years! I will never forget all these memories we had together.

See I told you I have an emotional bond with my camera. I'm not kidding haha. 

Alright. I will talk to you more about the new camera. Just to let you know it's a Sony A6000! 

That's all for now. Be right back crying thinking of all the great memories that I shared with my girlfriend.

Losing Everything

Isn't it quite funny how we are taught to work hard and chase the things that we want, reach for our dreams, be the person we wish to become and so on. But no one really taught us what to do or what to prepare when we lose everything. We're not really equipped with the knowledge that prepare us for this.

Are you ready to lose everything?

We see a lot of inspiring articles and videos about chasing our dreams. To work hard to become great and successful. We feel so driven about doing it when we read/watch them. Sometimes even, too driven that life becomes a beautiful painting inside our mind. And it never leaves us.

But what if one day everything changed? What if one day our life doesn't become the painting we imagined it to be. Our dreams changed, falling back into an empty canvas because of some unforeseen circumstances. Do you have a plan B? Are we ready and willing to lose them to start anew?

Like the saying goes: life isn't measured by our successes but by the times we rise everytime we fall.

Sometimes we become so fixated in the idea of becoming a "somebody" that when things don't go our way, we become confused and things turn chaotic. So yeah, how much can we let go?

I do feel that there are three kinds of people in this world. There are people who live where failure isn't an option. People who live a life where they believe that they cannot fail. And people with different plans who can accept the outcome they receive, and make changes.

Of course, I'm not saying that we should all love failures and that we should be "okay" if we're not focused on reaching our goals and not reach them. I just feel that we should embrace failures because like the Chinese saying goes, they are the mothers of success. What I'm referring in this post is when things change unexpectedly due to unforeseen circumstances that we cannot avoid.

I feel that we often forget that we live in an impermanent world. Where things are in constant change and nothing stays the same. Sometimes for the better and sometimes, for the worst. Sometimes we become the person we want to be and sometimes we don't. We become someone else.

The problem is we crave for permanence in this impermanent world.

Working hard to reach our dreams and goals, and to become someone we wish to be is no easy task either. But it is something that everyone does. When it comes to becoming someone we don't plan to become, I think it's a whole new different story. Losing everything we thought we would own, and then making a new move forward after that. How well can you execute this art form?

So I'd like to ask you three questions:

1. Are you ready to lose everything?

2. To lose your dreams and the person you wish to become?

3. And ultimately, are you ready to leave this place when your time's up?

Stormy Seas

You've learned how to brave the stormy seas.

Here I am still struggling to tread in still water.

Overwhelming

It feels quite overwhelming sometimes, 

how you are constantly bombarded 

with so many thoughts 

and voices in your mind. 

Like a hailstorm that fall

over metal roofing panels. 

They make so much noise 

that your inner voices, 

and everything else 

cannot be heard at all. 

Your hopes, solutions, 

concerns and worries 

are all diminished.

Inside the noise 

that constantly fill

the inside of your mind.

Chant

Today is the first of the three auspicious dates for Avalokitesvara AKA Guan Yin but I couldn't go for the prayers as I was having some guest over. Oh well no worries! I suppose it's a good day to talk about something about Buddhism - my daily chanting practice! Yup this March marks the 2nd year that I've been chanting every day. I really enjoy doing this, it's kind of like a supplement to my meditation.

I used to chant first and then go straight to meditation. Now depending on the time, I still do this. But these days I like to split it into two. Cause it's kind of better this way, I can focus while doing both. Not sure why but I always feel rushed when I do both of them consecutively.

I really enjoy chanting because it feels like a mini mediation to me. Although like I once blogged about how every Buddhist practice is a form of meditation. Chanting helps me focus a lot, and I still practice Vajrayana meditation in which I chant mantras while meditating. Chanting sutras are longer and this they help to make me focus longer too. Although there are still times where my mind drifts away.

And chanting Sutras is like a daily reminder for me about the Buddha's teachings. Especially Prajnaparamita! Obviously I'm not some enlightened being hah. But it's good to always tell yourself about emptiness. How it doesn't have a form, how there's no death and attainment in it. Chim I know.

What I love about chanting is that you can do it everywhere. Sometimes when I'm not doing anything I would just chant silently in my seat. Or mouth the words over. Sometimes it's difficult to meditate while you're being somewhere else (and not doing proper meditation) but chanting helps you a lot. In the bus, in the car (when you're not driving obviously) and so on. It helps to gather your mind and thoughts.

Perhaps it is really through that there are spiritual benefits from chanting. Perhaps there are some "magic" to it. But even if there isn't, chanting helps me a lot in my daily life. Just like meditation, I'm looking forward to doing this habit of mine daily. This year will mark my 3rd year of daily meditation too! Time flies really. But well, meditation helps me a lot. And I think you should give it a try too.

Alright that's all from me today. Hope you had a great week, Friday's here!

Sold!

Today was a day that I used to fear in the past. It is the day where sold my camera lenses! Okay well I did talk about this last month I think and they're finally sold. It was a plan but well, back seven years ago, I never thought of selling my lenses away. After all I bought all of them with the money I saved. It was bittersweet but I wanna do it. I still have two lenses though, and my A57 body so yeah.

I sold my 50mm F1.8, 28mm F2.8 and Tamron 18-200 lenses. Okay the Tamron one is such in a bad shape (I bought it second so yeah) so it didn't fetch a good price. In fact none of the lenses fetched a good price. After all they are all 7 years old and not many people use the Sony Alpha system in Indonesia. So the shop didn't want to get good price for them. I'm find with it, I understand.

I still have my A57 body, 16-50 F2.8 and my kit lens. The 1650 is my favourite lens because it is really good hah. Also by far the most expensive lens I bought. But I am actually considering to sell them away too. My kit lens, everything. And get a new camera mwahaha. But I really love my camera and I have such a huge emotional bond with it. Cause well, she's my girlfriend hahaha.

Okay so back to the first point, yes I used to think that I will never sell my lenses away. I thought I'll do photography often for a long time, even in the future. But well life is life and it didn't turn out that way. I didn't use my lenses most of the time, they are stored in my lens box. And in line with my minimalism resolution, I decided to sell them away. I don't feel bad at all, I thought it was funny because last time, I had such thoughts of never selling my lenses away. And keeping them forever.

There is a bit of guilt of course, I wish I wouldn't buy so many lenses (50mm F1.8 is a good lens though). I was too lured and too ambitious to get them. I think if I know better I would just stick with a 16-50 all the way. But then again 1650 was a new lens back then and it wasn't released when I first got my camera. So yeah, I suppose things are meant to be this way mmhmm. No biggies!

Although I don't take photos as often as I used to when I was in Singapore, I will still take photos whenever possible, when given the chance. Right now my iPhone is the camera that I use daily. And obviously it has many limitations compared to my DSLR. I really love photography even though it is not something that I do for a living or even do on a daily basis. And I will never stop pursuing this hobby of mine. Even if I can only go for a shoot once a month or longer than that.

Right now I don't think that I should own a DSLR with that many lenses. So that's why I was thinking of selling my DSLR and getting a new camera. Just one camera with one lens. I am looking at the Sony A6000 or actually Fujifilm. Sony is kinda expensive for my budget though so yeah. I'm even thinking of getting the Nikon J1 or Canon EOS M. The price of the J1 is kinda low now.

Now I simply bring my camera when I'm traveling or when I'm out of town. Apart from that, I would just store it in my cupboard inside an air tight box (yes I'm budget). So I don't wanna spend a lot on the camera. Something that would allow me to shoot conveniently is good. I would prefer an interchangeable lens camera cause then I might be able to upgrade a lens or something. Also Point and shoots have their limitations too. Except maybe for the Sony RX100 V hahaha.

Alright that's all for now. One goal of my minimalism resolution done! More to come.

Investment

Just like money, we invest a lot in life. Not just to some business prospects or stock market. But the daily occurrences in our lives. We invest our time to fix a problem. We invest our energy on some people. We invest lots of things. And just like an investment, we need to be careful of what we are investing on. Cause when things go wrong, we'll never get our investments (and time) back.

Most of the time though, we invest the wrong things in life. We invest our emotions and feelings to a problem, when all we have to do is to invest our time and energy to find the solution.

So far I've been doing this in life. When I come across with a problem, I don't straightaway "feel" the problem. What's left in my head is how do we fix the problem? What can I do *right now* to fix it? What do I have here to fix the problem? Because I feel that time is precious and that we should utilise it as much as possible, in the best way possible. I find it redundant to put my emotions inside it.

I wouldn't lie, it is definitely not easy to do this. Although I don't show my feelings, I do feel annoyed inside when there is a problem. But I bring my mind into focus and I just want to solve the problem. It is definitely not easy because in my 24 years of existence here, I rarely find people who do this. Most of the time people always show their emotions when a problem occurs.

I used to be an angsty bitch too when it comes to meeting problems hah. I would go sulky and urgh meow woof on it. But across the years, not sure if it's thanks to my meditation or something, I realised how much time I have wasted by doing this. We have such a limited time in life and I think we shouldn't waste it on these feelings. I think feelings are weird, they play in your mind too much.

Oh well, just a short thought about this. I'm not a perfect person and I'm still perfecting this new habit. But I think it helps a lot. Especially when you grow up and you face more challenges.

Remember, never be a slave to your emotions.

Work work work work work

Tonight has been a rather intense night. I did 2.5 hours of non-stop work but well at the end of the day, I managed to finish all of them. Weirdly enough, tonight really reminds me of my Sunday nights in Singapore especially back in 2012, during the internship period heh. Cause I love pushing away work on Friday and Saturday nights, and do everything on Sunday nights, with Sunday blues.

I could still remember the Sunday nights of 2012. Morning will be spent at the temple, afternoon doing grocery shopping and lunch, evening on my weekly runs, and night, doing work after dinner. I'll sit in front of my laptop feeling both eager to do work and dreading the upcoming week. It's really one of those nights where I feel conflicted hah. I always look forward to the next weekend.

Things are pretty much the same nowadays. I am always very busy on Sunday because I have delivery to settle and also work to do in the evening. I changed my habit since end of last year. I usually pile up my work until Wednesday and dedicate it to finish everything. Sometimes I push it again and again to another day. But last year this plan backfired because sometimes, unforeseen circumstances can ruin my plan (and even week!). So I learned that I should just do work whenever possible.

If I have time to do work, I will do it. That's my motto now haha.

I used to think that I should live my life without plans and schedules. Like sort of a hippy, living life freely. Taking whatever comes at me. But hmm well if you're handling lots of stuff at the same time you'll realise that you can't do this at all. So I try to plan my time well. Even if I don't have a regimental plan, at least I try to accomplish as much task that I can do on the next few hours/on this day.

Not sure if I can label myself as a procrastinator. But it's a bad habit of mine that I used to have, thinking I have time to do things on another time. Well most of the time I do really have time. But I think life is all about utilising as much time as you have to do the things you need to do. I remember back in 2014/2015 I like to do this because I thought it's better to just do my work in one shot. Hmm nope.

I've learned my lesson well, especially how sometimes, doing lots of work in one night backfired with unforeseen additional work haha. It can really ruin an entire week sometimes.

Nevertheless tonight really reminds me of my Sunday nights in Singapore. I kind of miss them because life was much care-free back then. I have more responsibilities to hold now. But that's life right. Alright I hope you've had a great weekend. Here's to a great second week of March ahead of us!

Terrifying

The past week has been... Bizarre. Pretty bizarre. So many things are happening although things turned out well at the very last minute. I hate to say this but we really are living in a terrifying world. I couldn't believe still, what we encountered in this week. But I don't want to lose faith in the goodness of the world either. I know it's terrifying, but it's beautiful too. Some people are just... Ugly.

I suppose I'm pretty lucky that my intuition has been right and saved all of us, right at the last minute. Like I always believe, and my favourite words nowadays:

In the most amazing fashion, life will always find a way. 

I'm just sad really why these people have to exist. Perhaps if you live life in a righteous way, you won't ever have to do this and you'll live peacefully. But what to do? When greed deludes you like a thick fog that blocks your vision. Whew, what a tiring week. I'm just glad things went well. 

Really short post today, just a mini update. More things to blog about soon!