Great music of July

Alright this is just going to be a short post about the great music of July! Here goes :)

Great music of July:
- Wonder by Adventure Club feat The Kite String Tangle
- Fifteen by Goldroom feat Chela
- Hideaway by Kiesza
- She Wants To by Ten2Five feat Ebith Beat A

Wonder is a nice song I found through the trailer of Djakarta Warehouse Project (DWP) 2014! Love how chill and just dreamy the song is, and I love the lyrics too. Fifteen is also a great song from Goldroom featuring Chela, they're coming to Jakarta for WTF2014! And Banks is coming as well... I'm still contemplating whether I should go or not but we'll see! Cause it's a whole-day music festival so yeah, not sure if I can go either.

Hideaway is such a catchy and fun song. Definitely a song I would dance to haha.

As for She Wants To, well it's not a song I discovered by a song I got reunited with! It's a song famous in the 2000s, can't remember which year but yeah it's quite famous in Indonesia. I chanced upon the "mixtape" I made when I was young and I stumbled upon this song again. Now I discovered the rapper, Ebith Beat A is an Indonesian! I thought Ten2Five really collaborated with a French rapper initially heh. This is even cooler, way to go Ebith Beat A!

I kinda realised upon stumbling this mixtape I made... How weird my taste of music is. I mean in that CD alone there's anime OSTs, Tchaikovsky, Coldplay, Ten2Five and Nidji. Like wow didn't know my taste in music is this versatile hah.

Alright that's all for now. Here's to more awesome music discovery in August! :)

Selamat Hari Raya Idul Fitri 1435H :)

 

 Emptiness

First of all I want to wish all Muslims around the world Eid Mubarak! Or those in Southeast Asia, a happy hari raya Idul Fitri 1435H, mohon maaf lahir dan batin! :) Can't believe it's another lebaran, it feels like yesterday when last year's Lebaran happened really.

Today one of my customers came to visit my hometown from Jakarta!  Of course I gladly bring him around my hometown and to the farm of course. Since today was the first day of the Lebaran holiday, my hometown is really really empty. So empty, that I felt the emptiness and it's kinda scary too! Heh. I mean I am not used to having my hometown so empty.

After visiting the farm I brought them to the temple, they wanted to go to the one at Pelabuhan Ratu but since the journey is pretty long, I brought them to my hometown's one heh. And then after that they went back to Jakarta while my sister and I did some shopping at the supermarket. On the way there we took the road on the outskirts of town and it was really a beautiful day. Just a lovely day for a drive to be honest. So pretty! All the blue skies and puffy clouds.

In the evening we had a satay session as usual, every Lebaran. Well it's supposed to happen last night but I was on my vegan day so my dad kindly shifted it to today awww hahaha. My brother, his wife and my nephew went to Jakarta. So the house was rather empty. But well thankfully my sister joined us so it wasn't that empty.

The emptiness of my hometown can be truly felt inside my heart. I think it feels pretty weird that I'm finally at this age of 22, on this year's Lebaran. Bringing a customer around. And yeah having dinner with my family with my sister and husband. It just feels so... Quick. Everything. Life, time and so on. It was rather overwhelming but hey, life goes on right. And time has to move on no matter what. Perhaps well, I'm finally a grown-up now I suppose :)

Anyway I finally finished reading The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche! It's such a fantastic and truly enlightening book in my opinion. I've definitely learned a lot, and I will surely re-read it. It's quite "heavy" because there's a lot of Tibetan terminologies which I often look back to the appendix/glossary cause I forgot heh.

Truly recommend everyone to read it!

Alright I will stop here for now. Selamat Hari Raya once again! :)

Last day of Ramdhan

It feels so weird that we're on the last day of this holy month. Well it's not weird, just feeling kinda overwhelmed to know how fast time is flying! Today was a beautiful day. Blue skies and puffy clouds. And when the evening came the sound of the Takbiran echoed through the speakers of the mosques around my hometown. Is that time of the year again! One of my favourite times of the year, something which I look forward to each year! :)

It's been a tradition for us to actually drive around my hometown during Hari Raya eve to see how's the city going. This year... It's very different. First of all, instead of my father who's driving, I am the one driving the car around. And this time, there were only two of us, my dad and I. Well my mum and sister were sleeping just now so it's alright.

It's pretty nice driving around my hometown, driving through the streets, listening to the Takbiran from the mosques. And then seeing children and youth hitting the bedug (a drum made out of barrel and animal hide). People doing their last minute shopping and also buying flowers from street vendors. A lot of things stayed the same throughout the year. A great difference I notice is the amount of motorcylists in my hometown. They're increasing definitely.

Lebaran is always a time where I realise how quickly time is flying. I know that every year, the date will be moved 11 days back. So next year Hari Raya would probably fall on the 17th of July. But still, Hari Raya is like a checkpoint for me. Just like new year, where I contemplate where and how I was going to in life. It's a day of contemplation.

Alright I suppose I'll stop here. To those who have fasted throughout this holy month, I hope it has been an incredible month for you and your loved ones. May the next Ramadhan be a greater one for you! :) Selamat Hari Raya Idul Fitri everyone.

Standstill

Sorry for not blogging for quite some time now! I've been rather busy with quite a lot of things. Hari Raya is coming in like a day's time, so there was a lot of flower delivery to be done. In fact on Thursday there was a HUGE delivery haha. Never in my life have I done such a big one. It was definitely record breaking. There were a few hiccups here and there, and we can definitely learn from them and make next year's harvest and sorting out a better one.

Can't believe really that Ramadhan is coming to an end. I still remember when it began about a month ago, I was telling myself "Alright we have 29 more days to go!", although I don't fast. Well here we are now, at the end of Ramadhan. Although I'm not a Muslim, Ramadhan and Hari Raya is always something I look forward to every year. I don't know, maybe because I grow up here in my country, that I too enjoy such festivities and holy month.

The thing I love about Hari Raya here is the fact that everything feels like it's coming to a standstill. I feel that when Lebaran is coming, everything begins to slow down and slowly coming to a standstill. Like my dad describes it, it's like where buses enter the terminal and end their service for the day. Although in contrary, outside, everything is busy and bustling as people are doing their last minute shopping, and everyone returning back to their hometowns.

It gives me goosebumps to think that millions of Indonesians are now traveling back to their hometown. They embark on a journey, no matter the distance and the duration, to return home to their family and celebrate Hari Raya together. It's like how the Chinese in China do the same during Chinese new year. This great movement is truly inspiring, and well it gives me a sense of peace and happiness to the people around me, going back home.

Although I too pray for their safety as the embark on their journey home.

It's my second Ramadhan back at home after 11 years. It's good to be back home of course, and well lots of things have happened from the previous Ramadhan. Definitely lots of lessons, and I've learned from them too. I've become a better person, I hope.

Happy last day or Ramadhan people, I hope the past one month has been a great one for you and your family. Prepare for a feast! :)

Selfish?

There are days and there are times where I feel truly selfish about myself. Where I feel that I do things solely for my own sake and I don't think of others. There are times, not all of the time. Some things, I do without really thinking of what my parents think and feel. And yes I feel guilty, but there are times also where I feel I have to be selfish.

I truly admire selflessness. The fact that we do not think only for ourselves. It is rather difficult because I believe that we're all selfish in our own ways no matter how much we want to deny that we are not. I suppose it's basic human nature. To sometimes think only for ourselves. I have never met someone who is so selfless. I do have friends though who are selfless, and I truly admire them, and wish to learn from them to be selfless.

I always remember the 7 habits of highly effective people by Stephen Covey which I learned in my LEAP Camp back in 2011. The 4th is habit is my 2ndd most favourite habit, which is think win-win. I think it is really important to do so especially when our actions involve 2 parties which is us, and someone else. It is important that both parties benefit I suppose and not just one person our of the 2 parties benefit. I think that's the definition of selfish.

In Buddhism there is also something called the middle-way. Which is similar to think win-win but in a broader term of course. Whenever I arrive in this point whereby I ask myself if my action is regarded selfish or not, I ask myself the same question. Does my action/decision only benefit me? Is the party okay with the decision? Is the condition for the other party suitable too? If the answer to the first question is yes then I will most probably not do it.

Finding the middle way in life is quite difficult. Because everyone has their own middle way. And our middle way may not be in tune with the middle way of others. So the key is to try and align our middle way with the middle way of others. And that's when we truly achieve the middle way and also that we're both in a win-win situation.

Quite difficult, but not impossible.

Sometimes I feel truly selfish of myself. But then again I told myself if I don't stop feeling this way, then I will never be able to achieve what I want. And besides... I think again and we're almost in the middle way situation, and that it is a win-win one too. So I feel better? But I'm truly someone who thinks too much. So much that it takes more for me to truly convince myself that I am in the middle way. I use my heart too much. That's my disease.

Sigh, oh well. I can just hope that everything will work for the best, for me and others. If not now, then when Adhi, when?

165

Including today, we actually have 165 more days to finish what we set to accomplish in this year, which we said 200 days ago! AKA your resolutions. Well so far I've been sticking with them, except for a few which I have already broken. But oh well no worries! I will try to stick with them again as time goes by. Although it's quite shocking to know 200 days of the year have went by so quickly! Well I suppose it's been a "happening" year so far.

Today was a lovely Sunday. It was raining the whole day, well after a week of sunshine and blue skies. It was a wonderful week so far.The skies were blue all day long, all week long. It was very very lovely. I can't stop staring at them and taking pictures of them too. I suppose the dry season is here. But well the occasional rain is always welcomed.

Ah well I'm going to stop here for now.

Need to update my bio in blogs etc. I realised I'm no longer 20.

Twenty two

Today I turned twenty two.

I suppose I feel really thankful that I have went through another year in life, and I must say I went through pretty far. I am thankful that I am given the health and the opportunity to do quite a lot of things in the past one year. And I hope I can go on many more years to come, and learn more things, and do more things of course. Life's too beautiful!

Being twenty two feels pretty normal to me. I mean... I didn't know what to expect either. When I was young I've always wondered how does it feel to be in your twenties. Well here I am now and it feels pretty normal. I kinda realise that as you grow up, especially when you hit your late-tens and twenties, you feel that birthdays become something pretty ordinary. Just another day to commemorate your birth into this world. Perhaps it becomes a time of reflection.

Ever since I entered poly I, spent my birthday contemplating really. Reflecting on the past year, and what I want to achieve in the next, and many more years to come. I think of the purpose of life, because every birthday, or in fact every day, we're just a day closer to death. So I'm thinking of what I want to be, what I want to do in this life. One life of mine.

So today I contemplated. Well still haven't found the answer but I'm hopeful. I'll still hold on to my dreams because I don't know if I can make it through or not, because well no one knows the future really.And only I can make it through, once and for all.

Although today was just an ordinary day, I'm thankful for the company of my aunts and cousins over dinner at the end of this day! But well at the same time I feel pretty sad and shocked to see how much we have all grown up now. The us who once played around are now working or finishing their university studies. The us who once teased about being in love are getting married or engaged soon. Time really flies indeed. We are no longer kids. We're turning to adults.

It's a pretty weird feeling to look at my cousins all grown up now. Feels weird. Perhaps I did not realise how fast time went by. But to be honest, I think I do. Maybe I'm just in denial that we're all grown ups now. Time has to go on, the future has to come and the past got to go. I am accepting it. Nothing stays forever in this world, including our age.

Anyway thank you very much to everyone who has wished me a happy birthday be it through FB, Whatsapp, messages and BBMs, really appreciate that! I had a ordinarily great day, and I am twenty two now. I went though quite a lot in life and I still have a lot to go! Cheers to everyone, here's to an awesome life I'm going to live :)

Happy birthday to me.

Compassion

Today is the 19th of the 6th Lunar Month, and the temple of my hometown celebrates the enlightenment day of Guan Yin, or also known as Avalokitesvara Boddhisatva, or Chenrenzig in Tibetan. Avalokitesvara is one of my favourite Boddhisatvas and I aim to be like him (or her, as potrayed in Chinese Buddhism). He taught me about compassion, because it is said that he vowed to free all sentinent beings from Samsara, or the sea of suffering.

I always have a tinge of fear when I look at his thousand-arms manifestation. But when I learned that he has a thousand arms, to reach out to all beings on earth to help them free from Samsara, I went really awed. There is a lot of manifestations of him, like a four-armed one and so on. I find it really great and noble how he vowed to save all sentinent beings from Samsara. I am definitely far to be like him, but I definitely can start small!

The 14th Dalai Lama says that if you want others to be happy, practise compassion. If you want to be happy, practise compassion. One of my favourite sutras to read is the great compassion mantra. Although yes I have to be honest because I am still learning to be compassionate and to invoke compassion within me and others. To be kind to others and not let them suffer. Happiness will come to you one day when you're being compassionate to everyone.

Although some of my friends did tell me, that it doesn't pay to be nice and kind. I suppose you can look at it on another side? My principle is that I will be kind to as many as people as possible. If they misuse my kindness then I suppose it's their loss. I've done what I think every human should do. If they mistook my kindness then truly speaking, it's their loss.

And I think at the end of the day, people will feel your kindness and compassion. And what I hope is that they will do the same to others, and the world will be a better place. Don't underestimate the power of being compassion. It can change the world!

Anyho, I came across with this during the recitation of the sutras.

 Birth - getting old - sickness - death

Well, let's face it. Our life is as short as the first 4 words. And I wish that we don't have to experience the third word. Let's just jump to the 4th. 

Mind

 With our thoughts, we make the world

So it's been a week since we had that debate about having some traits which we carry from birth, and to whether these traits are changeable throughout our lives, or is it unchangeable at all from the moment we're born till we die. So a few days ago, I asked the other party (that stands with unchangeable) an intriguing question which leaves them with a question mark.

I asked them a scenario where there is a man who grew up to be a very stingy man all his life. So we can take it that he has a "stingy" trait in him. However in his 30s, his life went through a downfall and he was devastated. Then suddenly came a person who helped him, in a lot of ways. Through this situation he learned how wonderful it is to help people. So this episode changed him to be a generous person until the day he died, and he's no longer stingy.

So my question is whether this goes to show that he didn't carry the stingy trait? Or did he carry a stingy trait but was able to change due to a situation. And the other party answer is that he is still carrying a stingy trait just that he's not showing it. And that one day he may change again. So I asked again what if he didn't, until the day he died? And the other party just reply simply by saying well it's just that he didn't go back to his own traits.

The party even says that this kind of scenario will never happen.

Although in so many ways, the other party's explanation is kinda conflicting. But oh well, everyone has their own opinions, like I do too.

Like I said in my previous post, our mind shapes who we are. I believe that we unconsciously become who we think we are. So if we constantly think that we're X, we'll always be X and we'll never be Y. But we always forget that our mind is as big, or even bigger than the sky. And if we're able to explore it, to use it and expand it, we can be XY or even YX or XYS etc. I feel that we should not just confine ourselves to a definition, but expand it.

I live by the Buddha's teaching of "What we think, we become". I think that the mind is the most powerful thing that we have in this world. We can have a perfectly functional body, but if we have a dysfunctional mind, we're literally useless in my opinion. The mind is everything, the mind defines who are and designs the world we live in. It is so powerful but yet very little of it is understood. We have to train it so that we can expand the horizons of our minds.

I'm still reading the Tibetan Book of The Dead and Living by Sogyal Rinpoche and it is said there about how we can train our mind by doing meditations. Ever since I read the chapter on meditation, I've been meditating everyday for at least 5-10 minutes. After reading the book I realised how wrong my method and purpose of meditation was.

And the book says that if we've mastered meditation really well, we can actually "meditate" in our daily lives without having to sit down and meditate. I am definitely very far from this but I'm working through it. What I learned from the book is that the best way to train our minds, apart from meditating, is by showing it in our actions, and the way we think and feel about a certain situation. And how we can control our emotions, which I feel is controlled by our minds!

Like when we're angry with someone, we can tell ourselves to be angry all the time, or we can let go of our anger. If we're faced by a problem, we can let the problem stand in our way all the time, or we can solve the problem and let it go. By making these choices we are unconsciously defining and shaping and training our minds. And through these daily life happenings we become who we are now. And the mind will eventually define who are and how we think, act and behave.

So it's very important to realise that our mind is a powerful thing. That it is a big and spacious thing. And how we can define who we are with our thoughts. When they say that the mind is everything, well they're not lying actually.

I'd like to end this post with the continuation of the Buddha's words
"With our thoughts, we make the world"

Congratulations Germany!!!

Okay this is a super short post but this is the first time in my life that I stayed so late to watch a soccer match heh. I'm not a soccer person! But I definitely watch the world cup mwahaha. And I'm so glad Germany won because I am rooting for them! Argentina has a superb superb defence that I was so worried Germany may lose. But nope, it was a last minute goal at the time extension but well, still, congratulations to Germany, especially Gotze who scored it!

Alright very short post, I'm just super excited :P

Sad

Seeing all these news about the Gaza bombings and how innocent lives were killed makes me feel really sad. It really made me question, what the hell is going on in this world? Yes I know that there were rockets being bombed into Israel as well. We'll never know the truth about what is going on because we are not there. But to me, killing people, innocent people is just plain wrong.

I don't care if you are in Gaza, Israel or Indonesia but to kill innocent lives is just wrong.

And you know how much I hate when I suddenly enter a debate when I fucking don't ask for it!

So tired of human's ego sometimes (yes I am a human too). I'm so tired of humans sometimes. Can I just be a cat or a dog?

I just hope the conflict in Gaza would stop very soon. And my prayers and hopes go for the people there. There are days where I feel truly confused about the world I am living in.

Birth

 Do we write our own story?

Or do we already have a story to continue?

So yesterday, I was caught in between a debate about 2 different views about being human. It's a very interesting debate and I would like to invite you to join it too.Here are the two stands:

Stand A: We are all born with a set of personalities that we will carry for the rest of our lives, no matter of the environment (social, education, economical etc) we live in.

For example, if we're born as someone who loves to donate (i.e: generosity trait), even if we're brought up in a family who's super stingy, we may still be generous as we grow up or at another different time of our lives. Maybe when we're married and when we have a family of our own.

Stand B: Our personalities are shaped as we grow up, from the moment we're born till we're about 30 years old, when our mind is "shaped". 

So in this stand, if we're brought up in a family who's generous, we'll be generous for the rest of our lives and vice versa. So what we're being taught to when we are young will remain with us forever.

What do you think?

I am leaning more towards stand A actually, because like I said in my previous post about how our minds are like clay, which is shaped as we grow up by the teachings and actions of others, and by the experiences we went through as well. Although I do believe that there are some things that we carry within ourselves since we're born. And we carry till we die.

There must be a reason to why we do things and behave in a certain way now. Okay well if you're an adult that is. For example I like to donate because to me it's a way to build up my good karma and pay off the bad ones that I did. And also both of my parents are also generous people and I did learn from them too. So in one way or another, it is the environment we live in that truly affect ourselves and our personalities as we grow up I guess?

Now going back to the first case of Stand A, that a person who's brought up in a super stingy family can still turn generous in another time of his life. The question is, how did he turn generous in a later part of his life? So here is where you make your choice. You can believe that he carries a "generous trait" with him that turns him to be generous. Or you can believe that perhaps something happened to him that made him change into a generous person.

For example maybe he was being really stingy, and then he experienced a few hardships before, and got help by others who are being so generous by him. That's when he turns generous.

In yesterday's debate, the Stand B group don't believe in the "traits we carry and stick with our life" because they feel that it is rather unfair to sort of "shape" who we are since we're born into this world. And also, that everyone has the ability and power to change their personalities, be it through the environment around us or well the fact that we want to change it.

Whereas Stand A group don't believe that environment can change our personalities.

My conclusion? Both are right. They just have their own different, distinct ways to think about life. Like I always believed, there is no right and wrong in this world, it's just a matter of different opinions. So yeah, don't have to always think that the other party is right/wrong. They just have a different perspective of seeing the issue.

I suppose this is like fate/destiny. We can't change our fate. But we can change our destiny, since somehow the things we choose to do now will in one way or another affect our destiny. Whereas fate is sort of "planned by the heavens" already.

Last but not least,

I choose to believe that I am writing my own story in life. Not just continuing a story that someone else gave to me. We may be given a book with a certain number of page in this life. But we surely write out own story. At least, I choose to write mine.

Knowledge is power

Just a really short post today, about something that came across my mind just now.

"Knowledge is power, you can use it to destroy things, or it can destroy you. But you can also let neither happen. That's when your heart plays a role."

I'm sure we all have heard that phrase, that knowledge is power. It is indeed a powerful thing. And we can use it to destroy things. For example, if I'm trained in IT, I can learn some of my programming skills to hack into computers and websites and so on. If I'm trained in self-defence, I can use what I learnt to hurt people right? We can destroy things.

But also, say we're someone who's too "educated". So educated we forgot the existence of our heart. For example, if I'm trained in accounting/business, and I will make sure that I gain as much profit and money as possible, I would make sure that whatever happened, I would gain a lot of money. I would forget people's emotions and hearts and so on, and well one day, I am pretty sure my action will destroy me. Because I no longer have compassion.

I suppose we live in a world where too often, we're told to be "educated" in our minds and brains but not our heart. And I'm afraid, that's the end of humanity.

Life is short

I'm pretty sure we've heard the above title a lot of times in life. We all tell that to ourselves to remind us how really short life is. Well we never truly understand how short life is. But then again, we will never understand this, until one day where we're on the verge of dying and reaching the end of our lives, that we will realise how short life is.

For the past one week, someone I know quite closely entered the hospital as he was suffering from shortness of breath etc. He already has 2 nodules on his liver and at this age and condition, I really regard him as a strong person. It was found that he has an infection in his lungs and also, his lungs are filled with water. Thankfully his condition is getting better.

As I visit him again today... I truly wonder how will I be when I grow old.

I am imagining myself sitting down, or lying on my bed as I am preparing to leave this earth forever. I hope I'm not sick, if possible I want to die while sleeping or something. And when this happens, what will I think? How will I feel? Will I feel satisfied with my life because I have truly lived to the fullest? Will I really come to a great conclusion that life is really short.

I suppose, if I didn't have the chance to accomplish what I want to accomplish in life, I would feel that life is truly short. But if I did accomplish a lot, I would feel that life is a long journey and that I have walked far. So far, that I have enjoyed this life and I'm ready to move on. So yeah, I hope I can achieve what I want to achieve in life, and I hope I get to accomplish my life goals and dreams. I want to be so tired of this life, I can't wait to see the next!

So let me ask you a question. If I were to ask you to complete the sentence:
"Life is short, __________________________"

Without giving you time to think and compose an answer, like I just want you to complete the sentence with whatever thoughts that come to your mind, what would it be? I suppose this is also a question you can ask yourself to truly discover your passion. And with everyone having a different passion in life, this world becomes a beautifully interesting place!

If you were a traveler, you would want to travel as much as possible. If you're a writer, you would want to write a book, or as many books as possible. If you're a foodie, you would want to savour as much food around the world as possible. If you're a musician, you would want to play music or maybe join an orchestra. And so on, and so forth. And this world then becomes a truly wonderful place because it is filled with so much colour and vibrancy!

If I was given a chance to complete the sentence like 30 times, I can gladly do it, and I am even glad enough to like complete 100 more. But if I were to just be given one chance to complete the sentence... My answer would be...

"Life is short, so be the best human you can ever be"

Well it's kinda ambiguous... My answer. But well yup, be the best human you can ever be because this is your only chance to be one. And by being the best human I can be, I surely hope that I can help others, and also make a difference to others. I want to improve the lives of other people, who can improve their lives. Be it in terms of health, economics or psychologically. Mind, heart and body. I hope I can improve these in other people's lives.

Life is indeed a short great adventure. Along the way we kinda forget about this. We're lost in our own pursuit. Pursuit of what? No one knows. But I surely feel that somehow, we're always being chased by something, and we're always chasing something. Pursuing happiness, success and recognition? And I don't want to chase things in life.

Life is short indeed.