Saturday 30 May 2009

Heya people, what a tiring, but memorable and sad day for me. It was achiever's day, and for the sec 4's, it will be our last concert as a TSMB member. How sad... But well as the saying goes, life's goes on.

Well it's kinda sad to leave the band, after 4 years of like hardwork and endurance. It is the band, that shapes and makes my passion for music even stronger. And as for the sec 4's, we went through a lot of things. Be it something bitter or sweet, I think last night, was one of our best perfomance ever.

I'm so proud of the band last night, and I ask.... WHY THE HECK CANT YOU ALL PLAY LIKE THAT DURING SYF??? Lol, we could have gotten a silver! Haha. But yeah it's the nervous factor as well. But honestly, it's like the best concert of my life, I dont know, I hope there will be more to come.

Chinese O level is coming, in fact is the day after tomorrow. If you ask me whether I'm freaking out? The answer is I don't know really. Well I'm just going to give my best shot. All I need is a B3... Haha, well I hope I can.

Alright holiday is here, but focus are waiting for us so hmm, not really a holiday for us yup. Anyway yup jia you to all the sec 4's who will be taking the exam on Monday. Alright see ya!

It's not about you, it's about ALL of you.

Thursday 28 May 2009

Hellllo people, back here again. I'm so tired, cause we just had another full dress rehearsal for tomorrow's achiever's day. Gosh, these days, it just feels so HOT and HUMID. See, stop global warming everybody!

Hmm yesterday we started out Chinese Intensive Revision Program and well I guess it's kinda fun, even though it can be boring at times. O level is is hmm 4 more days. FREAK OUT. Okay I'm seriously nervous and excited about my Chinese O level haha, I hope I'll do well. I'm aiming for an A2 but it sounds impossible. But remember, nothing is ______. You guys know it yourself.

Oh about my results. Hmm what else but I'm disappointed. I dropped 6 positions. From 4th to 10th. Well I didn't do well this time so I deserve this drop. What else can I do but to work even harder right? Anyway Congrats to the other top ten from our class.

Before I leave, I wanna dedicate some thanks to some people.
-To Mrs Lee for always encouraging me.
-To Mr Alvin Tan for telling my mistakes which I improve from them.
-To Miss Portia for encouraging me as well.
-To Cheryl for the nice talk we had today.
-To Brendyy (Brenda) for encouraging me as well.
-To Nissa for the nice chat we had two days ago.
-To TSMB for doing such a great job today! Keep it up!

Okay Achiever's Day tomorrow, excited, nervous and afraid. But through passion, nothing will make me fear of anything. I/we are going to make you guys proud people. Alright I wanna rest cause I'm tiiiiired. See you then!

Guess I'm just too sensitive, too serious, too passionate. Chill down

Tuesday 26 May 2009

Hello people, back to blog. Hmm let me see what happened today. Chem SPA, screwed it big time, I hope I'll do well. And had rehearsal again, and sucked big time again. And it rained! oh how cool. It's been like a thousand years since it last rained on this lonely planet of mine lol. Drama.

Rehearsal was alright I guess, wait no, it sucks. Mr Tan, who is also an ex-band member, from TSMB and PJC band which is a GWH band (when he was there), went to use just now to tell us things. Well yeah he told me I'm super sharp, and that I'm very soft. I couldn't agree less with him, I do feel I'm out of tune and I'm soft. It sucks, when he praised everyone except for my section. Well, Miss Portia told us not to take his comments negatively. And I'm trying.

As a musician myself (lousy one of course), I've finally decided to give my life for music for pure enjoyment. I don't wish to be a perfect musician, neither do I hope to be a world renowned musician. I just want to enjoy music. That's all. At the same time, I do realise there is a need to have a sense of proffesionalism in one. But yeah I am still in the process of achieving this.

I do wish one day I'll receive more knowledge of music and be a proffesional musician. I wish I can be a conductor. But I never wish to be the best for everything. I just want to enjoy music, that's all I want. But why do I feel so beaten up at times. It's ironic how I always think this way but yet I feel beaten up. Life is just ironic.

Sometimes I feel confused and puzzled. It's hard. People pushed you to achieve perfection but you can't achieve it. You give your best shot, and people are not satisfied. This feeling sucks, to anyone I believe. I keep telling myself to take things on a brighter side but it's just tough, I guess I'm just too "soft" in a sense of handling thiese stuff.

It's tough, it's hard to put it in words to describe what I'm feeling then and now. Today isn't a good day for me, I wonder when there'll be a better day for me. Maybe it'll come, maybe it won't.
But I know it'll come, one day.

I wonder, who am I actually?

Monday 25 May 2009

Hello people, today was a great day, even though I came late for school cause I went to the embassy as I stated in my previous post. Well the rest of the day went normal I guess, but hmm I'm kinda tired today, somehow. And weird things happened in band haha.

Well today we had rehearsal for the prize recipients and it was okay I guess. Then went for band which was boring cause we had to play with the sec ones and se3 recruits. Can you imagine? Playing songs that we played 3 years ago haha. We played new song, Tanglewood Overture which is VERY NICE. Especially my solo parts haha, and mostly it's so fun to play! Japanese composers are always cool and one day I inspire to be like them.

Somehow, the teachers "went home" very quickly today, it was 7 and the school was EMPTY. Cheryl, Chong Tuck and me have to accompany one of the school's staff to lock up the office and stuff. An ominous feeling is in the air. Which, reminds me, something weird happened to me and Chong Tuck.

I was playing piano while Cheryl and Chong Tuck was out. I was alone then. And I hear a sound of someone dragging his/her feet in the store room. I thought it was Brenda but. No one was there! Chong Tuck too, hear the same thing when he was about to lock the room. Something are meant to be told, while others remained to be undisturbed, I guess.

Well after I reached home, Nissa called me to ask about Chem, and somehow our conversation turned into something uber cool! Haha. Thank you Nissa, you're such a great friend :D Alright I guess that's all for today. Time to study Chem, in the midst of my fatigue. See ya!

Life's like that, it's a suffering, it's an irony, it's a mystery, it's whatever you called it but it's like that.

Sunday 24 May 2009

Hello people, what a beautiful Sunday? I don't know haha. Well today is kinda a good day for me cause I have 12 hours of sleep last night mwahahaha. Too tired I guess. Today, just like any ordinary Sunday, I do the same thing... Duh haha.

Finished all of my Math homework just now and I'm loving it! Cause this means that I'll be free for the rest of the night. TV, computer and piano haha. But I'll be busy tonight cause I'm finishing my forms and everything for my Visa application to Sweden tomorrow. Talking about this, I'll be coming to school at 11 tomorrow, cause I gotta go to the embassy.

While doing Math today, I went to listen to the radio, 96.3 to be exact. This station is kinda a various genre of music? There's French songs, Korean songs, music interludes and last but not least, Indian songs. You know what, Indian songs are NICE!

I'm serious, of course not that kind of bang bang Bollywood kind of songs. But some songs are really nice. Their chords and melody and harmonic progression are well executed. It''s just my kind of songs. Too bad I don't get to know their lyrics cause the radio DJ didn't announce it.

Well I guess that's all for today, I wanna watch TV haha. Ok see you!

I think I'm anti-social...

Friday 22 May 2009

I'm disgusted by myself

Hello people, today was not so good day again. Thanks to someone, my/our morning is ruined again. Okay shan't talk about that, just making me pissed. Well today I finally get all of my results and well one word to sum it up, I suck. Wait that's two sorry.

Well I am super shocked that I did pretty well for chemistry, especially the MCQ where I scored 37/40. And paper 2 which I scored 61/80. As for English, I failed paper 2. That is like SUCKY SHIT BALL lol. Okay I am too stressed. I swear, I am going to ask the teachers what went wrong so yeah Literature was also so not my mark. I seriously don't know what went wrong.

Well life seems pretty stressful these days. I am not glad at all, that the MYE is over. After receving this kind of marks, I was just STUNNED and I don't think it's even worth celebrating. What else can I do. Men learn from their mistakes, and one should never repeat them.

Alright I wanna do math, Mr Sia has kindly started intregation again, how sweet. And oh, our overture one for SYF is now on Imeem! Listening to it just brings back memories, sweet and bad one. I love overture one, it's I dont know, just beyond words. Proffesor Kelly Tang is such a great composer. Too bad I didn't get to play overture no 2, which is also superb.

This is my last SYF, perhaps I don't know. And this song, is just a great song that I'll never forget. And I am very very proud of my band, even though we get bronze, listening to the recording again, just makes me think of my 4 years in the band. I don't care about the medal, I just want to enjoy music, for it is my life and passion.

Alright that's all for today I guess. I am tired, and I have a big day tomorrow!

Life, of life hah

Thursday 21 May 2009

Conufsion and pandemonium. I wonder what;s life all about?

Today wasn't a good day at all. I feel confused and tumultuous, I wonder what's wrong with my life nowadays. I feel like giving up but I don't know, I wonder whether I should. Sometimes people regard escape as something negative, maybe for me, it's a better way.

I'm sick of it, it's been a long time and yes. It's pretty sad for me that I am not someone who can chill and let it go. I feel like letting it go. One day I will. But when will that day arrive? No one knows. Life is just a suffering, we suffer in it. But through these sufferings, we grow into a stronger individual who shall brace everything bravely.

Well today took oral examination. I was tested by Mr Alvin Tan, and he's a nice teacher haha, cause I get 34/40! Highest of my life so far. But even though I get this good score, I still can't get that 10/25 out of my mind. My Amath paper 2 was a killer as well. Was my worst exam so far. And yes, carelessness killed me again this time.

Boot camp is so not my wish, I never want to go there, neither do I WISH to go there. Previously I thought it will be a good idea for me to improve. Then I heard that it will be held AFTER our extra lessons. Woah hell no man, that is going to be sucky. So I want to pass English, badly.

Had Achiever's Day Rehearsal today and hmm, one cornet, no snare drum. The band feels soooooo super duper empty! It was like "......" and haha no surprise, snare drum is the backbone of the band. While cornet is the backbone of the melody. And since it's an overture, cornets/trumpets are needed. Well we pulled it though.

Alright I guess that's all for the day. I'm moody the whole day. My morning was already ruined, and I hated it. Alright see you I guess.

It's life, what else can we expect from it?

Wednesday 20 May 2009

I'm such a failure

Gosh I'm sorry but I have to do it again.

I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb I'm super dumb

That feels better! Okay. Gosh, got back results today. One word, wait no make it four. I'm such a failure. And Mrs Lee told me my EL summary mark. One word, wait make it two. I suck. Yeah for some of you who don't know, I got the lowest in my class, 10/25... And I'm SPEECHLESS. I don't know what happened but I just feel sad, and simple depressed.

I don't know what's wrong with me this MYE, my results aren't mine, I don't know why. But gosh, why why why? I am simply speechless about my performance. Really really speechless. Well Achiever's day coming so more rehearsals. Life simply sucks. I don't know what to do...

I'm such a failure, I'm such an idiot, I'm so stupid, I'm so careless, I'm such a let down

Monday 18 May 2009

Finally!

Okay this is my chosen skin, finally, something matched me taste bud! Alrighty but somethig's odd, I'm working it out. Ciao!

6.25 P.M.

Nice skin no?

Haha changed skin. I love the hot air balloons but the colour is a little weird... I'm looking for a plain simple one but nothing matched my tastebud. Alright be back with a better blog skin.

4.50 P.M.

I am FREEEEEEE... Maybe not

Oh yes, today 11.33 A.M. was the end of my mid year this year! Oh my gosh yay done done finish finish haha. Today's two papers was okay I feel (wooh, I'm finally confident on one paper) even though I did not revise Biology that much.

Well it rained right after we finished our paper. I hate that haha, shouldn't it be sunny with the sky not filled with clouds? Cause aren't we supposed to be "free" out of this misery like finally haha. Well I guess the sku was so happy taht it cried tears of joy for us.

Somehow it's weird why I am anticipating my results even though I know it's going to be atrocious. Well I guess this is a good thing. Whatever happens, don't take it as a setback but take it as a lesson. There's a saying that goes "Winners take mistakes as a lesson, losers as a burden" so yup. And remember, always look on the bright side of life!

Alright I deserve a good break. But I am not going to forget not to study, I mean dude, it's O level haha, but yup take a good break, it's worth everything. Alright ciao!

It's over, it's over it's OVER

Sunday 17 May 2009

Symphony...

Yo people, today was a GREAT day! Why? I went to see the Philharmonics Youth Winds and Singapore Symphony Orchestra @ the Botanic Garden! Even though I was late, and was only managed to catch two of the songs the Philharmonics played, they played it well and I enjoyed it very much! As for the SSO performance, it was just beyond words, and it's my first orchestra concert by the way hee.

They played the songs I am familiar with, and my favourite songs too. Songs like An American in Paris, Fantasy on the Greensleeves, Cavalleria Rusticana and the finale, which is one of my favourite tchaikovsky pieces, 1812 Overture! Superb.... Okay here are some pictures!


Just look at the crowd!

The lower brasses of the Philharmincs Youth Winds.
See it's so crowded that I only manage to get the side view! ><
SSO getting ready

And they're ready!

Honestly their performance was oh my God it's so speechless! I wish one day, one fine day, I will be like one of them there, performing with my flute... That's such a great honour! Or who knows, I'll be conducting there, among thousand of people... With my own symphony...

Alright that's all for the day, gonna study Chem and Bio for tomorrow. Well watching this concert seriously helped me unwind. And it just makes my passion for music even stronger. I love music, music is my life and I'll never get tired of it. Okay ciao!

Music is the food for my soul. I'll never be able to live without it. It's a dream, a passion, a wish and hope of my life. I wonder, if it will come true?

Saturday 16 May 2009

Moving on...

Alrighty, I know some of you may (or may not) be surprised when you see my precious post. One word to sum it up? Stress. Okay so well I screwed up most of my papers but hmm I'm looking forward to it. Anyway I think I'll be going for boot camp so yup. Will be fun I guess. Boot camp, you know... FUN! Okay I think I'm getting very stressed.

Hmm well I'm very happy today... Cause I have decided to go to SWEDEN during my June Holidays! This is a super golden titanium chance cause my sis is there now, on an exchange programme so while someone I know is still there, I think it is a pretty good opportunity to take yes? Sweden... Omg... For those of you who ate meatballs in ikea, hmm I am going to the country where it originates! Hohoho okay I'm just being retarded, mind me.

Okay two more papers to go but my mind has "switched off" and turn to rest mode. How great. Well I don't know, I'm anticipating my results but am very disappointed by myself at the same time. Well it's life, again.

Alrighty I guess I'll my post here, I need a break! Haha. Alright Sweden here I come, I hope everything will go smooth :)

It's these things in life that make us stronger. But many people see this as a challenge.

Friday 15 May 2009

GAHHHHHHHHHH

I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb I'm so dumb.

Whew, that feels much better....

Friday 8 May 2009

Well....

Hello people, gosh it's been long since I touched the comp. Yeah well, mid year etc, you guys should know. The papers, weren't bad at all! So easy.....! YEAH RIGHT. So far I think, I did pretty badly for my paper? Especially Physics P2 and Chinese P1, and when I hear Mr Tie is marking our paper for letter, I just OMFG I'm so gonna fail, yes.

Well decided to blog now because I have decided to put today as a rest day. I mean hello, for 4 days straight I have been like STUDYING madly, well I know it's kinda wrong, I could have started earlier but too bad I guess, it's over. This will so be a learning point for me that I won't do it anymore. And today is my sis birthday so we went out to Fish and Co to celebrate just now.

Well, it's life I guess, it can be stressful at times and it can be enjoyable at times either. Well but hmm exam, enjoyable I think. Okay what am I saying, must be too stressed... I'm so freaking out these days, I don't know why. Alright I guess that's all, not in the mood to blog but I'm bored, so I blog. Okay see ya then!

We fear, not because we are inadequate, but because we are powerful beyond measure...

Friday 1 May 2009

Last

Ello people, happy labor day haha! Today was alright I guess, did my math homework in the morning and afternoon, cause I plan to revise chem tonight! And yes, I finished all my math assignments now, how cool.

Then I decided to practice my flute. GOSH, I think I've lost my embouchure, nevermind, need more practice. Well why I decided to play the flute in the midst of this examination? Okay here's the deal. Research has shown that when one does something she or he like, it will help him or her relax. And you know how stressful life can be in the midst of examination too right?

Well here it goes again, examinations, something I can't fail to meet every year. Well this one is just a tiny little examination but, it goes a long way till I reach the gigantic and big examination. THE O. Well I don't know how I'll do, but my aim, is an 8 points and below. And I want an A2 baaaad for English... Well, it's all about me, I guess.

Okay I think that'll be all for today. And oh, this may be the last post before midyear ends. Too all mid-year people there, jia you and good luck. To my fellow 4e1 friends, we can do this! C'mon, class MSG 1! Heee. Okay see ya then.

That's all,