All the best, Indonesia

Today I voted in my country for the first time.

All the best, Indonesia

Qing Ming

 

A day that reminds us of our roots

and reminds us that we only live once.

Qing Ming Jie, or Qing Ming festival is a Chinese festival in which families will visit the graveyards of their ancestors for a cleanup, and to well basically pay a visit. I think different families have different traditions and ways of celebrating this festival. For us here, we would go to the graveyard, scatter some paper across the graveyard (photo below), burn some offering papers and light some incense. Without fail we would have a great chat about a lot of things. Most importantly, about our family and our roots of how and where we come from.

I've always enjoyed this day because I like it when my family bond together in this day of the year. And at the same time, as I grow older I kind of learn the other significance of this day, apart from instilling family roots and respect for our ancestors.

 The paper is actually rolled and folded,

you open it up and scatter them across the graveyard! :)

As I grow older I kinda learn to enjoy the cemetery. Especially my grandparents and great-grandparents ones, where it is so serene there. And it also has a great view, which makes it, actually, a popular spot for people to have a date at (no joking!). When I was young I used to be very afraid of cemeteries. I always thought to myself that that's where dead people are! But now I realise, that's where we will all be in eventually. Unless you're cremated.

Death was once to me something terrifying. Something I wish I wouldn't want to encounter, and something I wouldn't want others to encounter. But of course as I grow up, I encounter them like a part and parcel of life. My grandfather passed away when I was in P5, my aunt when I was in P6, grandmother when I was in secondary school, great-uncles, long distant relatives, and so on. So as I grow older, I realise that we cannot run away from death.

Instead of being afraid of dying, I actually use this fact as a reminder to me to live my life to the fullest because eventually my life is going to come to an end too. It's just a matter of time, or I would call it here... A matter of life, that we will all leave this wonderful life once and for all. So don't be afraid of death, because no one is going to live forever.

This is kinda similar to the story of the Buddha. How, when he was a prince, and he witnessed sufferings and death, and that becomes kind of a revelation to him. I think that is the purpose of life. To find revelations about things, that make you change the way you think about life (for the better). To make you really treasure it and live life to the fullest.

So qing ming jie not only teaches me about my roots but  it is also a reminder for me to live my life to the fullest. Because eventually, we'll all gonna end up either in a cemetery or in an urn or floating on the sea exploring the world (as ashes). And somehow knowing all of these make me feel how beautiful life is. Don't you think so? How we only have one life and how we can make so much out of it, create something so beautiful out of it.

So yes, start living my friend. You only live once. Really.

Here's to a superb second week of April!

Clocks

Today is quite an awesome Saturday indeed. Had a mini family reunion for the whole day because we'll be going for qing ming tomorrow, which is a Chinese tradition to go back to our ancestors' graveyard to clean up or well to basically "pay a visit" there. And before this, we usually pray to our ancestors first which is complete with food. I think this is done because in the past people need to bring food to the graveyard but since it can be a hassle, we do it at home.

I suppose this is a plus side of being in a Chinese family? The fact that a lot of these tradition bring us closer, because as a sign of respect it is good that we're present in such occasions unless we can't. So in a sense the family will not forget our roots, and at the same time we're all brought closer together through such traditions. Oh and don't forget the food too heh.

Anyway yup so today my aunts all came to my grandma house as usual for the prayers etc. And had a good time talking and chatting with them. We had a satay session at night as well and oh gosh I love goat-satays haha. Yes goats! At the same time these days I realised we're all grown ups now. We don't talk about games and other "child" stuff. We talk about business, music and travel etc. Things we find such a bore when we were kids eh.

I used to love Fridays but ever since I got back here, Saturday has become my favourite day. Although well to be honest there's no such things as TGIF for me because I always have something to do on the weekends. Unlike when I was in Singapore where Saturday was really an off day for me. I could wake up at 10 AM, do whatever I want, eat/cook whatever I want, go out with friends and etc for the whole day. Unless exams were in the corner, or I have loads of assignments.

I suppose there's no such things as an "off day" for me here. Maybe until Hari Raya holidays here where we really have a proper off day heh. I don't know why but I think a day doing anything you want (keyword: want, not need) is definitely not a day wasted. In fact I believe everyone should do that at least once a week. I suppose that what weekends are for? But since to me I don't really have weekends... I can only enjoy hours of this moment.

And that moment comes in Saturday nights and run till Sunday dawn or something. There's something so magical when I listen to music on Saturday nights. And when it's music that I love. It feels like something just cliqued right through me, inside me, to give such an indescribable feeling. So yeah, Saturdays have become my favourite days due to these reasons.

I hope when I grow up, I can redeem my off days haha. I don't know man. But I surely miss those Saturdays I had back in Singapore. Weekends are really weekends, days where I had fun and just relax before a week begins. And well even here now, I have calculations to do on Sunday nights heh. So yeah gone were the weekends I suppose.

April is here already! Sometimes I feel really dumb when I just realised that we're already into the fourth month of the year. Sometimes I would just stare into the emptiness and like "oh yeah we're in April now... Ohh..." and then "wake up" from this dream. Sometimes I got so busy here that I just couldn't keep track in time. And at the same time there are days where I really feel the heartbeat of time beating alongside my heartbeat. So yes.

Anyho, can't wait for Qing Ming tomorrow! I like visiting my grandparent's graveyard. It feels so serene and quiet there. Well well. Here's to an Awesome April! The month where I'll get things done. Yeah baby!

Happy 100th Birthday Sukabumi :)

 My hometown at night, from the top

Right today is the 1st of April so Happy April's Fool day! Hahaha. I think the best joke of today was SP "rebranding" its name to Dover Polytechnic instead on Instagram. That cracked me up in the afternoon when I saw it heh.

But today, is also the 100th birthday of my hometown, Sukabumi! So my hometown is older than my country haha, of course. It is already there during the colonial times, where my hometown is nothing but forests and hills and tea plantations which during the Dutch colonial times. Well apparently it was used to be called Soekabumi but now it's Sukabumi. Which in English it literally translates to Like-earth! Or well if you translate it from Sundanese like-home.

I've never really talked about my hometown here, or in fact anywhere else. So since today is her birthday, I shall blog about her, and what I like about her eh?

When I was in Singapore a lot of people used to think that all Indonesians come from Jakarta. Some even think that Indonesia = Batam. When I told people I from Sukabumi, they gave me a big question mark. So I told them I'm from West Java and they still gave me a question mark. So okay, nevermind, to make my life and their life easier I just tell them I come from Jakarta/Bandung because these 2 cities are more well-known than my humble hometown.

Although eventually I'll tell them "I'm from a town 4 hours drive south from Jakarta"

Yup my hometown is located about 80 kilometres south of Jakarta. Well it used to be a 2-hour drive from Jakarta but thanks to globalisation and the ever-increasing number of cars and ever-deteriorating road condition it now takes AT LEAST 4 hours to Jakarta. If you drive at like 2 AM in the morning you can reach it in 2 hours plus. But it's okay, over the years I have become used to the condition of the traffic and road here so it's fine.

Mt Gede, above a sea of green paddy field

It is located in the foot of Mt Gede, which is a mountain, or in fact a dormant volcano here! It last erupted hmm I think 40 years ago? When my mum was still a young lady haha. And it translates to big mountain by the way. And I love the mountain a lot. I think the mountain is something that make Sukabumi, Sukabumi. There's the mountain, the fresh morning air, and lots of paddy fields. I think that's Sukabumi for me. These three things always remind me of my hometown.

The location of my hometown makes it very cold and chilly especially in the morning and at night. During the day the temperature ranges from about 27-29 ish? I don't think we've reached 30 over here. And at night it's usually below 25 degrees. There was one night I remember though where the temperature reached 15 degrees! It was very very cold that I had to wear a jacket inside my house. And I spent the whole night snuggling under the blanket.

And the geographical location makes Sukabumi an awesome spot for tea-plantations. This was why the Dutch owned a lot of plantations in the colonial times. Even now, tea plantations are spread over the foot of the mountain. And my hometown produces some of the best tea ever! Or maybe it's just because I've been drinking them since young so my tongue is accustomed to the taste of the tea. But no harm giving it a try if you want! :)

Being in West Java, we're all considered Sundanese here. So we have a Sundanese culture, be it in the dialect we speak, the food we eat and the things we do. Sundanese food is lovely, lots of chilli and fried stuff. We proudly eat our food with our fingers, because it's the best way to eat it. There are a lot of traditional food still being sold here and they're all pretty good.

I am born and raised in this humble hometown of mine. Although well practically, I lived half-and-half of my life in Singapore and Indonesia. Since I spent 11 years studying there. But now I'm back and it feels good to be back I suppose, being close to the people whom I've been far away from, for too long. While being in Singapore, and after returning here, I have a deep and grateful sense of gratitude with the fact that I grew up in this hometown of mine.

A lot of people don't really consider growing up in a small town with nothing much a privilege. But I do. My hometown may not be like Jakarta and other big cities in Indonesia (where most of my Indonesian friends in Singapore come from). It may not have so much to offer, but it has definitely taught me how to be happy in so many simplistic ways.

I grew up in a town where malls don't exist. When I was young there wasn't even any fast food outlets etc. After school I would play catching with my friends or cousins, have food by the roadside and with the abundance of natural places, we get to be in touch with nature. This is probably why I love taking walks outside and being outside so much.

I suppose we have definitely learn that happiness can be derived from the simplest things in life. And this is definitely a lesson that not many people can have when they are young. And hopefully, something they can carry till they grow up. So I am really proud that I come from a small town, that I am raised here, and it is with this pride that I'm longing to go back.

The world is a beautiful place, but there's no place like home

Anyway, my hometown has long been progressing now. We have Macdonalds, KFC, A&W, you name it. Okay we still need Starbucks here HAHAHA. But there are loads of Cafes springing over around. And there's an awesome cafe which I always enjoy going to. We don't have malls but we have like 5 supermarkets and also a few shopping outlets. And yes I wish for the cinema in my hometown to be revived. We need it back!

My biggest dream in life is to bring my hometown to the world map (for good things, not bad). When I joined the Noise photography competition last year, I sent in a lot of photos of my hometown, hoping that one of them could be displayed so that people can see how my hometown looks like. But alas I didn't get selected so no worries. But I'm glad I have Instagram to share my hometown to the world! Heh heh. And also this blog, and my tumblr.

In fact there's a really big sense of pride of the things that I did in Singapore. For example, me performing in Esplenade gave me a sense of pride that me, someone from a town not many people know of, have performed in one of the world's renowned concert halls. I'm probably some of the first people in my hometown who reached the summit of Mt Kinabalu? Maaaybe. But nahh it's not important, I'm just proud to be someone from Sukabumi.

My hometown is definitely one of the loveliest places on earth. I am born here and I would love to die here as well. And be buried here, unless we run out of cemetery slots that I got to be cremated. Then at least scatter my ash here. My hometown has come a long way, and still has a long way to go. It is in my biggest and ambitious dreams that I make my hometown a better place. It is the dawn of a new generation, and well, we're the ones who'll continue the great works of our forefathers here. So I hope for a brighter future for this tiny hometown of mine.

Like what Adele sang in her song "Hometown Glory",

Round my hometown, memories are fresh
Round my hometown, the people I've met
are the wonders of my world, are the wonders of this world.

Happy birthday once again, Sukabumi! May you grow to be a great city for the future generations.

Marched

 
I feel that March is a month that went by pretty pretty slowly somehow. Although ironically at the same time, I'm feeling surprised to realise that it's the end of the month and that April is coming soon. Real soon. Was doing work when I realised that well, May is coming in a month's time. Time did fly, but somehow I feel that it went by kinda slower in March.

I suppose it is very easy to lose track of time when you're working. Having a routine made you forget about time - about how it went by so quick and how it feels like forever. In school we keep track of time due to assignments and tests but when you work, everyday is kinda the same thing so yeah, you lose track of time pretty easily.

And it is also easy to lose your passion when you work, which is something I fear the most in life. That's why I prevent it by doing the things that I love everyday, although it's only for a while. That's why I have project365 and also I try to play the piano everyday when I have the time. I try to blog and write, and something I always do is to listen to music.

Always remind yourself everyday to what you're passionate about. If not, one day you won't remember what you once loved doing, as life's routine engulfed you.

I think having a passion is really a privilege. Something that not everyone has. And I think it is even luckier if you can do what you're passionate about everyday, and you will be the luckiest and happiest person if your passion becomes your full-time job. It's like doing it everyday till you grow old, and at the same time you gain something to make a living too!

Having a passion is like listening to your favourite music/band. You know, the indescribable feeling you get when you listen to them. And there are a few others who are like you in this world and it makes you happy to talk with people who enjoy the music that you enjoy too!

Okay talking about music I think I shall update my music discoveries of this month! :D

Great music of March:
- Years by Alesso feat Matthew Koma
- Future Days by L'alphalpha
- Gema by L'alphalpha
- Terang dan Tenang by L'alphalpha
- Transmutasi by Homogenic
- Utopia by Homogenic
- The Mother We Share by Chvrches (Moonboots Remix)
- A lot of Carpenters songs

L'alphalpha is an Indie-pop band from Indonesia. I came across them watching their cover of Vid Spillum Endalaust by Sigur Ros on Youtube. Just discovered recently that they have released an album (Von Stufe Zu Stufe) and I purchased it. Very nice album with lovely songs. My favourie would be Future Days because that song just gives me so much hope for the future and the present! I listen to it every morning after I wake up haha.

Homogenic is an electronic/dance band from Indonesia as well. I discovered them recently when they've been active for quite a long time (not sure if they are still!). I heard Transmutasi at the local cafe and I asked the cashier what's the title of the song playing and he gave me the title and yay I fell in love with Homogenic from then! Heh.

I bought the Ultimate Carpenters compilation album and it brought me so much memories! So say yes to bringing back the old days! :)

Alright shall stop here for now. Here's to more awesome music discovery next month, and so on!

Friend

I don't know how others perceive me as their friends. Am I a good friend, a bad friend, a friend worth keeping or someone who's forget-worthy. I don't know, and I leave it to everyone about how they feel about this. But maybe I am a bad friend, because I don't really care what you think of me, as a friend, but I just want to let you know that I'm here if you need someone to talk to! And sorry maybe, if I don't make great efforts to keep in touch with you everytime. 

Perhaps I'm a bad friend, because I'm definitely not a "close" or as I like to put it, a "clingy" friend. I'm not someone who will talk to you everyday, or even once a week. Maybe I'll comment on your post on social media and stuff, but well yes, shame on me for not trying to talk to all my friends once a week or something. If you know what I mean.

But like I said, if you need someone to talk to, I'm here :)

I'm kind of glad to have a few friends who share the same thoughts as me about this issue. I once talked to a good friend of mine and apologised to her for not keeping in touch with her after so long. And her reply was the same, how she felt guilty for not talking to me for a long time. And we both come to a conclusion that it is perfectly fine to do this, because somehow no matter how long we didn't talk, we ended up talking like as if we just met yesterday.

I come across a similar post in Tumblr about friends, how best friends are people in your life, whom you may not talk to for a long period of time but when you do, you talk to them like as if you met with them everyday. Which is very true. I don't believe in having one best friend in life. But I truly believe that I have great friends around, who I am proud to know of.

Not sure if it's because I'm someone who's quite used to be alone, that I become such a person. But well yup like I said I'm just not the clingy type of friends you will find.

So to those who think that I'm a bad friend... I would like to apologise I suppose? Don't worry I will always treat you as my good friends yeah :) Anyway I'm writing about this well just because I feel like writing about this. Well I think many times in life where we want to know how others see us in front of their eyes. And I will never know how I look and act in the eyes of others. But just in case you want to know how I view things, well this is it.

Feathers

 Feathers

Today was a lovely Sunday indeed. Although towards the end I get really really moody like I just got the ultimate moodswing of the month kind of thing. I suppose it's that time of the month again. Of course I'm not getting menstruation but it's just one of those days of the month where my hormone levels are just off-balance. So yes.

But nevertheless we've been enjoying a good dose of sunshine the past three days. It hasn't been raining since Friday and the weather is pretty lovely. Good to see Mr Blue Sky again after a seemingly endless cloudy month of March. Today was indeed a lovely day with patches of blue sky and lovely evening breeze. I was at the garden when I came across my favourite feathery wild plant which can be found here. And somehow, they grow during these months.

They remind me of summer, and how wild and free things feel like during these months. Their feathers dancing in the wind, it feels pretty and free indeed. The breeze today also reminds me of those days in Inner Mongolia where it just feels so awesome being at the grassland in the afternoon enjoying the autumn breeze. I'm longing to go back to those days as usual.

I'm not sure why I felt really moody towards the end of the day. Like I said maybe it's just an epically off-balance of hormones. I don't know. I felt so tired, both mentally and emotionally. I was so close to breaking down just now. Like I just want to go to my room and listen to music and shut the world from my vision. But of course I couldn't do it because sadly I was doing something (which makes the whole feeling worst) at that time.

Life's just pretty confusing I suppose. Sometimes I don't know what to do with it.

Although well, just wanna say,

It's pretty tiring to know that everyday,
the dreams you have and hold, are drifting away.
When the things you do everyday,
drifts you further away from your dreams

It's pretty tiring to hold on to your dreams
As you got lost in the world of uncertainty.
But it's pretty comforting at the same time,
to hold on to your dreams in this time of uncertainty.

I'm just tired.