So a few weeks ago, I was just pondering about how different life's definitions are after you left school. For example things like our goals, dreams, "living life to the fullest" and so on. If you're doing what you're doing in school, perhaps they are still kind of the same. Although I'm pretty sure it's not identical. In fact I think at different stages of our lives, these definitions keep on changing. Because they are impermanent. They don't stay the same forever, right? But something is missing for me.
To be honest I don't know what my goals and dreams are now heh. Like perhaps I have learned to live in the moment? So I no longer bother to think about how I want my life to be in the next couple of years. Also I've learned how ever-changing and how drastic life is flowing. I have decided to live life for today. To see what I can do today, tomorrow, next week, next month and so on.
My mind hasn't and can't sail that far into the future.
Another thing is that I feel in school our goals are more "reachable". Just to give an example, back in school I was just so focused to get good grades so that I can move on to the next semester in peace (keyword: GPA). I'll work hard to do well in exams, to get good grades for my reports/projects and so on. Once I've done that, okay, I'll move on to the next semester. And it goes on.
Perhaps I have other goals too like I want to run some 10K races and I plan my training schedule. I want to travel here and there, do this and that. Goals are kinda attainable easily because I feel like I have the time to work towards them, and it feels like I'm walking on this "paved road".
Not saying that the road I'm walking now isn't paved. They are paved but in a different and crazy kind of paving hah. It can change a lot, and change suddenly. So I feel that instead of worrying about not having my goals attained due to sudden "changes", I decided to plan what I can do here, now.
But in life there's something greater than these goals and dreams - it's a purpose.
Something is greater than traveling around the globe. Something is bigger than the huge-ass dream house we dream about. Something is more expensive than that thing we've been wanting to own. Purpose. I remember seeing that vein-diagram picture about how our purpose is defined as the intersection of four things: the thing we love doing, the thing we're good at, the thing that the world needs and that which we can be paid for. When you think about it, it's so difficult to find the answer!
In fact now I don't know what's my purpose in life. And I think it's dangerous because our purpose keeps us going. It is something that makes us happy to go to bed, and wake up the next day because we're doing it. We don't feel obliged to do it and we look forward to do it every single day. I think it's bigger than passion, because it really keeps us "alive". I think passion is part of our purpose.
In fact now I don't know what's my purpose in life. And I think it's dangerous because our purpose keeps us going. It is something that makes us happy to go to bed, and wake up the next day because we're doing it. We don't feel obliged to do it and we look forward to do it every single day. I think it's bigger than passion, because it really keeps us "alive". I think passion is part of our purpose.
Sometimes I feel that I should find my purpose. But finding it is never easy, and it can never be rushed. Some people find it in the middle of their lives, some at the beginning and some at the end. It's like a fine-aged wine. There'll be a time when it's ready to be savoured.
So yeah back to my original point, so far I've been living my life as of today. Seeing what I can do today and in the near future to accomplish my task and "goals". Be it making things better, finishing things and so on. Perhaps while I'm doing this, I'll find my purpose. Oh well, here goes!
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