Life of a foreign student

Sigh honestly speaking today wasn't a good day. Not the things that happened, nor the things that I did but more of the things that I felt. To put it simply, it feels just as if my heart feels really bleaghh and I just don't feel right. Somehow for the whole day I don't like how, what and why my heart feels that way. Heart and the mind are two different things. Playing with the heart. Sucks.

Anyway today is week 2, day 1. One week has gone from my ITP and it's... Pretty much alright. So far I've been doing lots of read-ups. So yup. Today is much interesting I guess. I'm given more things to read on Friday so this two weeks I'm going to do lots of read up. Plus today I was familiarising myself with a new program which I have to also learn within two weeks! I can do this!

Then after work today I went straight to Orchard to meet my aunt. She's been in Singapore since Saturday and tomorrow she'll be going back. Can't send her to the airport so I wanna come with her for dinner today with my cousin. We went to eat at Applebee's today and it's delicious as usual. Though a tad bland. Then we spend a few while walking around and shopping around and then back to the hotel.

Then I'm off to go home cause I've work tomorrow :/

Well you know I really love it when any of my family member is here. No matter how short the stay. It just feels good to have someone you know, you're close with since when you're young to be here. Well a family is a family. And to just know that my aunt is going back tomorrow, is enough to make me feel homesick -.- like I wish I could go back with her too. But nahh, I have school.

Talking about my title above... Well last night I somehow realised how bittersweet life of a foreign student can be. Or in fact, life itself. No need to be a foreign student. Life's filled with bitterness and sweetness alike. Some bitter moments we just taste it while it last, the sweet ones we enjoy it while it's still awesome. And somehow when these sweetness and bitterness mix, that's when your heart feels fuzzy.

Let's start with bitter. Bitter for well, we'll miss our family, we tend to feel lonely at times, for the new ones they'll feel homesick often, we miss our hometown, our country, our this and that. Sweet, we learn to be independent, we learn to manage time, we handle emotions well, we have an adventure, a memory and all in all, this experience of studying abroad is just - one amazing thing not many can get.

I've studied here for close two 10 years now. So... I don't really miss home that bad and often (not that I don't miss them at all okay). I mean thankfully I'm used to being here. I have friends, I have school, I'm used to the culture and so on. But when I miss my home and my family it just feels horrible urgh. Like really everything just doesn't seem right.

Honestly speaking I've been feeling pretty homesick for the past week, although it's been a week since I've been having my ITP. I'm just suppressing it I guess. Like a quencher which suppress a flourophore which prevents it from giving off that fluorescence. Okay yeah that's what I've been reading. And perhaps today just wasn't a good day and I went poof. There goes my heart.

Perhaps my homesickness, the silence, the transition I'm still coping with, the unfamiliarity and so on, all these mixed into a very uncomfortable feeling my heart can't take it.

Oh well but as Robert Frost says

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learnt about life: It goes on"

So yeah. It goes on, and well I guess only time would tell, only time would heal this uneasy feeling of mine that I've been grappling through. Perhaps it's the beginning, which most of the time it's the hardest. When life goes on, and I get busier, and my mind is off somewhere, I get to forget my pain and enjoy everyday of my ITP more (not that I hate everyday of it).

Through poly, I've learnt that whenever we start something new, or whenever we try something new, rule number one is to have an open mind. Meaning of an open mind is simple. You must be willing to change, you must be willing to adapt, you must be willing to try and accept everything that's given to you. I'm not only talking about the things we do, but how we feel, our mind and everything.

It's very tough. That's why it's always difficult in the beginning.

Alright I feel really good writing. I've been neglecting my blog, and my diary. It sucks. And I still haven't write about my US trip! OMG. I'll write two this weekend. And whenever else I'm free. Cannot neglect anymore :( See you soon! Here's to a not-so-good first day of week two, and...

AND AWESOME REMAINING OF THIS WEEK AND THE REST OF MY ITP!